Minami Arisato (AU) @ Destiny Strings (
fracta_anima) wrote in
towerofanimus2012-05-14 07:39 pm
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Entry tags:
ITP: Aftermath
Characters: Minami, various others.
Setting: Meadow floor
Format: Prose, but will match replies.
Summary: Minami finds out her fear was broadcasted. Considering that is a huge part of her fear? Not good. Also, Princess Zelda gets a Rank 10 S. Link by kicking her out of the angstbucket.
Warning: Mentions of suicide, self-harm, gore, angstangstangst, and a lot of bad stuff. Read at your own discretion.
Avoidance had been the name of the game the last few days. Ever since she'd woken up from that nightmare and had a nice long hot shower during which she'd scrubbed herself raw. Even then, she could feel the blood on her skin, the chunks of flesh and blood crusted under her fingernails, hear her own insane laughter in her ears. Then there was the sense that everyone knew hanging over her. That had been the crux of her fear, right? Because that had to be why they'd been asked about it last month, why she'd been compelled to answer so honestly: she was afraid most of people finding out.
And when a day or two had gone by and she started to relax, had decided to make a post on the Network about having a check in for the Watch to give herself something to focus on besides the labyrinth, she'd checked the archive.
It had been recorded.
A lot of people's had been recorded, but the only one she looked at was her own. Was she--no wonder the others had turned away in disgust. She looked like a madwoman, no better than Takaya had been, no better than those scientists--
--and this was broadcasted?!
Minami had backed away from the console and fled, everything feeling like it was crashing around her. How many people had seen it? How did she get it off--stupid question. It didn't matter if she had gotten it off the network or not. No. People had already seen it. Who wouldn't look at it even if out of idle curiosity? She could already feel her brother's disgust, what Shinjiro and Minako would think of her.
Zelda. Coleta. Oh god. They must think she's utterly disgusting, too.
She'd run the stares. Anywhere. She'd jumped from one of the outdoor floors once, while exploring. The floor itself had compelled her to, hence why she avoided leaving the staircase on that particular floor. The inhabitants of the Tower couldn't die here, but just the sense of freefall would do well enough. As terrified as she'd been the first time the cartwheeling feeling of being weightless had been kind of cool, left her dizzy and barely able to think beyond the sense of it's going to all stop. Maybe, some small part of her thought, maybe if she did it enough times it would stick. If nothing else, it couldn't hurt to try, right?
That was why, when she came to the floor with the peaceful meadow, she carefully approached the edge, her hands shaking. This was stupid, she knew. She shouldn't be running like this, she couldn't exactly escape just by one jump. Her kneejerk reaction shouldn't be to jump, but Minami just needed to get away.
She took a deep breath, decided to pace around the perimeter. She had to think. Was this really a good idea, in the end? Even for a moment of weightlessness?
Setting: Meadow floor
Format: Prose, but will match replies.
Summary: Minami finds out her fear was broadcasted. Considering that is a huge part of her fear? Not good. Also, Princess Zelda gets a Rank 10 S. Link by kicking her out of the angstbucket.
Warning: Mentions of suicide, self-harm, gore, angstangstangst, and a lot of bad stuff. Read at your own discretion.
Avoidance had been the name of the game the last few days. Ever since she'd woken up from that nightmare and had a nice long hot shower during which she'd scrubbed herself raw. Even then, she could feel the blood on her skin, the chunks of flesh and blood crusted under her fingernails, hear her own insane laughter in her ears. Then there was the sense that everyone knew hanging over her. That had been the crux of her fear, right? Because that had to be why they'd been asked about it last month, why she'd been compelled to answer so honestly: she was afraid most of people finding out.
And when a day or two had gone by and she started to relax, had decided to make a post on the Network about having a check in for the Watch to give herself something to focus on besides the labyrinth, she'd checked the archive.
It had been recorded.
A lot of people's had been recorded, but the only one she looked at was her own. Was she--no wonder the others had turned away in disgust. She looked like a madwoman, no better than Takaya had been, no better than those scientists--
--and this was broadcasted?!
Minami had backed away from the console and fled, everything feeling like it was crashing around her. How many people had seen it? How did she get it off--stupid question. It didn't matter if she had gotten it off the network or not. No. People had already seen it. Who wouldn't look at it even if out of idle curiosity? She could already feel her brother's disgust, what Shinjiro and Minako would think of her.
Zelda. Coleta. Oh god. They must think she's utterly disgusting, too.
She'd run the stares. Anywhere. She'd jumped from one of the outdoor floors once, while exploring. The floor itself had compelled her to, hence why she avoided leaving the staircase on that particular floor. The inhabitants of the Tower couldn't die here, but just the sense of freefall would do well enough. As terrified as she'd been the first time the cartwheeling feeling of being weightless had been kind of cool, left her dizzy and barely able to think beyond the sense of it's going to all stop. Maybe, some small part of her thought, maybe if she did it enough times it would stick. If nothing else, it couldn't hurt to try, right?
That was why, when she came to the floor with the peaceful meadow, she carefully approached the edge, her hands shaking. This was stupid, she knew. She shouldn't be running like this, she couldn't exactly escape just by one jump. Her kneejerk reaction shouldn't be to jump, but Minami just needed to get away.
She took a deep breath, decided to pace around the perimeter. She had to think. Was this really a good idea, in the end? Even for a moment of weightlessness?
no subject
But in an odd and probably unhealthy way, Zelda has found it so easy to "deal" with her own problems by throwing herself into aiding those who (she had failed to save) had been trapped within the labyrinth. They all need help healing a great deal more than she does, after all. And, admittedly, Minami is one of the ones she is most concerned about, despite not seeing her "punishment."
... Seeing the other girl skirting around the edge of one of open floors does not quell her anxiety, either.]
Minami...?
[There is no disgust in her voice. No hatred. Merely quiet worry.]
no subject
she forces a smile on her face and gives her friend a wave.]
Hey! You ever notice how awesome the view is from up here?
no subject
It is a smile of pain, and so Zelda only spares the outside a glance before turning her attention back to Minami.]
It is impressive, yes, though a shame we cannot see anything underneath the clouds.
[There's a moment's pause, and then she takes a concerned step forward. With anyone else, she would not dare be so forward, but this is Minami.]
... You know you can talk to me if something is troubling you, Minami. You have been through a great ordeal, and I would not judge you for needing solace right now.
no subject
Zelda's dealt with too much from her as it is. Why should she--?
The voices associated with the Priestess Arcana speak up to her, urge it's all right. This is Zelda, of course. They would not be so strong if the feeling wasn't mutual.]
I....
[She feels Orpheus's presence in her mind, the gentle notes on the harp so much like the song she'd finally mastered the day before they took her to the labyrinth.
Maybe.... maybe she'll understand. So many people took risks for her, confided in Minami back home. It can't hurt to do the same? To bare her soul like others had for her in the past?]
Zelda.... when.... when that thing made me attack you.... why did you forgive me?
no subject
[Said so simply, so honestly that it's practically impossible to imagine her not being sincere in her question.]
Anyone could see that you were not in control of yourself during that ordeal. If someone is not entirely conscious of their actions, how can they truly be held responsible for them?
I know you would not attack me of your own volition.
[And she fully believes her words as well. Even when they were still strangers, Minami had come to her aid, not her detriment, and that was what left a lasting impression. One that could not be easily erased by the tower toying with them again.]
no subject
[How does she even begin to explain this? This utter joy she feels when fighting monsters? How it feels good for her persona or naginata to sink into the flesh of her opponent? It isn't normal. It's wrong.
And part of her thinks it's why no one ever wanted her.]
I....
[And this is Zelda. The woman who has so much patience when it comes to Minami learning the harp, the woman who needed help the first moment she met her, the person who didn't care about Death the same Minami didn't give a rat's ass she was a princess.
would it.... would it really be okay?
She'd find out sooner or later thanks to that recording. Maybe it would be better for Zelda to hear it from her own mouth?]
I.... like fighting and hurting things. I think.... too much.
[Please don't hate her. Please don't hate her. Please don't hate ehr.]
no subject
[And that's all her initial reaction is - a simple 'ah', as if something has clicked into place in her mind. She doesn't know the full story, of course, but she can make a guess. Minami was just a part of a battle royale, after all. Thinking that perhaps that trial has something to do with this realization isn't exactly a huge jump in logic.
But if the other girl is looking for judgment, she won't find it. The confession is shocking, yes, but Minami is hardly an uncontrollable psychopath in her eyes.]
And... you fear this will color my perception of you. Is this why you are skirting the edges of the tower...?
[Once again, hatred is completely absent in her voice, only concern (like nothing has changed). Minami is obviously disturbed by her own revelation, and Zelda worries what she might do while in such a panicked state. And honestly, more than anything else, that is the thing that's scaring her more.]
no subject
N-no. I've.... I've managed to get this far without.... without people knowing and....
[She shifts uneasily, makes a point of moving away from the edge. What had she been thinking? The further away she was from the initial discovery the more she chided herself she'd been stupid, too reactionary for it.]
It's just--this isn't normal. Murderers and psychopaths feel that way. People who are monsters and I--I shouldn't feel good whenever I stab something or one of my persona take something down. I don't know what I should feel but it shouldn't be something good about bringing other people pain. It's.... it's disgusting. I keep picturing what would happen if people found out and every time it's.... it's not good.
no subject
When Minami finishes, and steps away from the edge, Zelda takes a chance and steps forward, wrapping her arms around her in an embrace much like Minami did for her when they first met.]
... I am sorry. It must have been lonely, feeling in such a way.
[As ever, her voice is soft, gentle, and encouraging.]
But believe me, I know men who are monster and you are nothing like them. You are an incredibly brave and warmhearted young woman who is willing to help even complete strangers during their hour of need. These feelings may invoke strong emotions, but you must remember that they alone do not comprise the entirety of your being.
I promise, if there is anything you wish me to do to help, I will. But please understand that you are not a monster, Minami. Not even close.
no subject
It's.... there's a video. On the terminals. Of.... they made us do things after we died and I.... there were monsters who wouldn't fight back. And my friends from home. They.... they hated me. Thought I should be locked up. And the monsters couldn't--they refused to fight back and I just kept....
I'm scared how people will react when they see it, but.... I think, even if you're the only one okay with this? It'll be okay. You're one of my best friends.
[Because someone accepts her. Someone she explained these feelings to and who doesn't think she's a monster like she's always feared. She presses her head against Zelda's shoulder, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Tears of happiness at finally being totally accepted by someone.]
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She can't help smiling a bit to herself as she pets the other girl's hair comfortingly, and for the first time since this awful experiment began, it's genuine, the warmth in her heart breaking past all the walls and defenses she's put up for herself.]
And you are one of mine. It will take far, far more than that to change that fact.
[It'll be okay. It'll be okay. Even if she failed to rescue Minami from that fate... she can still help.
And maybe, just maybe, it'll be okay.]
no subject
Thou art I... And I art thou...
Thou hast established a genuine bond...
The innermost power of the High Priestess
Arcana hath been set free.
We bestow upon thee the ability to
create Scathach, the ultimate
form of the Priestess Arcana....
>The Zelda Social Link has reached its maximum level!
>You have mastered the Zelda Social Link!
>Your Power to create Personas of the Priestess Arcana has reached its maximum
>Minami Arisato has forged a bond that cannot be broken!
>But doesn't this seem a little backward?
no subject
Wanna go watch a movie or something?