I would have stayed up with you all night

[got_it_memorized]

Characters: OU!Axel and OU!Xion--possibly open to Axel's roommates after a bit? If you want in, drop me a PM or ping me on AIM?
Setting: Axel's room: 1-04
Format: Prose
Summary: After rescuing her from Vanitas' evil wicked clutches, Xion has a panic attack and Axel has a moral dilemma.
Warnings: Prolly nothing.


The corridor opened with a crash sound and a bloom of black and silver, and Axel sort of staggered through as though he'd missed the last step on a staircase. Xion was clutched close to his chest, his grip firm but gentle, as though he were afraid he would break her. He had never seen her as fragile, but after everything that had happened--to her, to the other Xion, to everyone--he felt the need to be ginger about it. 'Gentle' wasn't a word he figured anyone would have ever used to describe him, but he was capable of tenderness when prompted, and as the portal closed behind him with a whoosh of air he strode purposefully toward his little corner of the room and set Xion down on his bed. Brushing his wet hair from his brow and then sort of wringing his hands, he took to one knee beside the bed and reached out to swipe her sopping bangs from her face.

There hadn't been time to ask if she was all right. There hadn't been time to check for injuries. There hadn't been time for anything. Sora had unlocked the trunk and he'd just scooped her up and run, and while Axel rarely felt abashed for a strategic advance to the rear (he didn't really feel anything ever, when it came down to it, but that was neither here nor there), he somehow found himself torn over this. He had just left them. Sora, Riku, Ven, Naminé, all of them... they were all still out there trying to take down Vanitas. For the first time possibly ever, Axel actually kind of felt like a coward, having fled the scene, even if it was for a good reason.

His gaze found Xion's then (he'd been looking more through her, lost in thought), and he shook his head quickly to clear it. He could worry about his moral dilemma later; right now there were more important things.

His hand was still on the side of her head from where he'd brushed her hair away; he hadn't even realized. She felt cold to the touch, but... maybe that was just the rain.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice low and his brow drawn, eyes narrow but bright with worry.

She still seemed pretty out of it; had Vanitas hurt her? Tortured her? She'd been locked in a box, for Light's sake--he'd seen horror movies with that sort of crap in them! He really hoped she wasn't completely traumatized... Injuries he could handle, but Axel had no idea what to do with mental scarring. He was still trying to figure out how to handle his own.

Comments

[attheclocktower]

Out of it she may have been, but she'd recognize the face in front of her anywhere.

"Axel?" she murmured dazedly.

Nothing was making sense. Nothing had made sense. Everything had been hazy and blurry, only now it was wet and it was even a little hard to move without everything hurting, she was so sore and stiff.

She'd... she'd been asleep, hadn't she? That's why her head felt like it was still half in a fog. What'd she even been doing before? She couldn't remember, and what'd happened when she'd woken up was too distracting to press much more right then...

Everything'd happened so fast. She'd felt tight, cramped, and trapped, struggling to move and not being able to- yet before she could really register what was going on, just as panic had begun to sink in, there suddenly there'd been water on her face, on everywhere, hands grabbing at her, pulling her up and out, holding her close and it was familiar enough to ease some of the panic, though not the confusion.

She tried to shift a little, and winced as her muscles protested the movement. "What... what happened...?"

[got_it_memorized]

He pulled his hand back with a sigh of relief as she sort of burbled his name, like maybe her voice was as rainswept as her hair. At least she recognized him, remembered his name--she hadn't been brainwashed or anything. He didn't really know who Vanitas was, didn't know what he was truly capable of, but from what he'd gathered from Ven the guy was bad news. Really bad news.

Axel made a soft, wordless sound of protest as Xion grimaced with movement, and he planted one hand on her shoulder to press her back to the mattress.

"Easy," he said, rising from the floor to sit on the bed beside her. "I dunno what exactly happened, to be honest; all I know is you had some kind of run-in with a guy who might as well be the anti-Sora." He put his palms on his thighs, staring at his knees a moment before looking back at her. "You were missing for a while," he said, and then wagged a finger at her with what might have been an attempt at a smile if you tilted your head and squinted. "Good thing I don't have a heart, or I might have been worried, you know?"

[attheclocktower]

The words took their time as they seemed to filter into her head, while she tried to work out all what was going on. She was in a room. An ordinary room with other beds in it. They were at the Tower, not The Castle That Never Was.

She blinked and frowned, things slowly starting to slide into place more as her head cleared some. She'd been... missing? She tried to think back, but further than a few minutes and everything suddenly became too hazy to make out yet.

Anti-Sora...

She stiffend, eyes widening. He'd looked just like him, but acted so different. He'd shoved her off the ledge, left her there to fall. If it hadn't been for the real Sora... He fed off negative emotions, got under her skin...

"If you're still talking back? You're not broken enough."

The panic was coming back.

"Vanitas?" her voice shook slightly, "But... I don't remember-" She'd been trying to avoid him! Especially ever since talking to Namine and Ven. She had a very uneasy feeling about this. Something was wrong. Why couldn't she remember what happened?

[got_it_memorized]

Axel nodded. "Yeah, that's what they said his name was," he said, and then he absently scratched the crown of his head. "I never met the guy before now. Don't think I'd like to again, honestly."

He waved a hand then.

"You don't have to remember," he assured her. "Hell, maybe it's better if you don't." The attempt at a smile broadened a little, but it was watery and too-thin as he tapped his temple. "Some things aren't worth memorizing.

"Y'ain't hurt, though, right?" he asked then, switching gears and putting his hand back on his knee. He didn't want to dwell on what had happened, since it was clearly making her uneasy. It didn't really matter, in the end; what mattered was that she was here and safe now. She was out of harm's way, at least for now.

A grimace crossed his features then as the image of Fey's cloaked figure tumbling from the edge of the tower flashed through his mind. If only he'd been a little faster, maybe he could have caught her--

His hands closed into fists against his knees. Should he have gone to help? What was happening now? Surely Sora and Riku and Ven were more equipped to deal with a melee fight like this, but he felt like a coward, just running away to hide here safe with Xion. Normally Axel wouldn't have given a single damn about looking like a coward, but somehow this was different. Fey had already fallen--how many others might? Did they need him?

Axel never would have thought for a second that he would even be pondering these sorts of things. Since when did he care so much about what happened to the heroes anyway? He wasn't a Good Guy!

... But Roxas was. And... Xion was, too.

His eyes moved back to Xion and he frowned. What was he supposed to do now?

[attheclocktower]

Part of the reason for her struggling memory was that what she would've expected to find and what was there to be found were two very different things. The haze was clearing a little, and she for some reason she found herself remembering colored, floating lights, and happy people chatting (or awkward people hanging against the walls), and cookies and brownies for some reason, but that couldn't be it. She must've been forgetting something. And yet nothing was coming...

Still, maybe Axel was right. A ghost of a smile flitted over her face at the ironic variation of the phrase he used so often, though it was belied by how her eyes glanced downward for a moment, still anxious.

At his question she takes a mental inventory, checking things over. There wasn't any intense pain anywhere that she could feel, though there was an achey, stiff feeling that was still there.

"I don't think so..."

She tried to shift a little again, grimacing and making a quiet noise at the expected pain. She settled quickly enough though, a little bit more comfortable. Still...

"H-how long was I gone?"

[got_it_memorized]

Axel got to his feet and nabbed one of the pillows off his neighbor's bed. He didn't know any of his dormmates terribly well but they all seemed like decent enough guys; he didn't figure any of them would be too pissed off that he borrowed a pillow for a hurt friend. Wordlessly he took Xion by the shoulder and carefully leaned her forward, shoving the pillow behind her. That was what they always did in movies when someone was in the hospital, right? Propped them up with more pillows? And it seemed to help? He was kind of flying blind here, but it seemed like a good idea. He sat back down on the edge of the bed with a sigh.

"How long? That's... a two-part answer, actually," he said with a helpless sort of half-chuckle.

It was funny--for all he kept trying to remind himself that no heart meant no emotions, he really couldn't deny the way his spine wanted to sag and all that tension that had built up between his shoulders was slowly unwinding now that Xion was back and safe and awake. He sure was good at remembering how to be worried about someone.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked. "There was a party of sorts... I didn't go because the ice cream offerings were insufficient. But... you were there, and apparently you decided to take a page from my book 'cuz the next thing anybody knew you were napping like a champ."

'Napping' wasn't exactly the right word for it, but the idea was not to stress her out further.

[attheclocktower]

Once she was propped up she did feel a little better, sort of. At least like this it felt less weird, trying to carry on a full conversation.

Her eyes widened a little in surprise at his words though. "That... that is is what I remember last, I think..." She glanced down at her hands, "I thought I'd forgotten something since then, but..."

But if she hadn't... Axel hadn't said how long ago the party was, but it felt like she'd been sleeping forever... ...Frankly, the feeling was actually rather a familiar one, from once before. But... why would she have done that here...? Ugh, this was so confusing. Not to mention Axel had said this was a "two-part answer," and she had no clue what that meant... There's still an uneasy knot in her stomach, though she can't pinpoint why yet.

[got_it_memorized]

Axel raked a hand back through his hair. "Honestly half the time talking with you feels like amnesia and déjà vu at the same time," he said wryly. "I feel like I'm suddenly remembering I've forgotten this before, or something." He shook his head; even he couldn't really make sense of it.

He frowned at her then.

"Don't ah... don't freak out," he said, "but... that was almost two weeks ago." He shifted a bit where he sat and then planted his hands behind him, leaning back on them. "You were out like a light for most of that time, and then apparently this Vanitas guy managed to kidnap you." He lifted one hand to tug at the collar around his neck before leaning back on it again. "You missed your appointment," he said, "and I guess he snapped you up when the staff dragged you in unconscious." His brows crashed together angrily. "I didn't think they'd just up and drag you into the clinic when you were indisposed like that," he admitted, "or I'd'a brought you along myself and kept an eye on you."

He hefted a sigh then, still kicking himself for that. He meant to keep an eye on the little ones, he really did--Axel was no hero, but he looked after his own. Roxas, Ven, Xion, the doppelganger versions, even Sora and Riku, they were all allies, really. Axel didn't think he could call himself one of the Good Guys, but... he was a decent guy, if nothing else, and they were all kind of in the same boat here. When you never knew what to expect next, having Keyblade wielders on your side was always a good idea! And more than that, Roxas was his best friend. Xion was too, even if he couldn't fully remember. He believed her. It felt right, for lack of a better word.

Axel wouldn't have gone so far as to think he was the strongest--that honor probably went to Sora and Riku, really, and he wasn't too macho to admit that--but he was at least among the oldest of their group, and therefore the little ones were kind of his responsibility, right? That was how it had always been. When Demyx had been inducted into the Organization, Axel had been the one assigned to look after him. When Roxas had joined the Organization, he'd been placed in Axel's charge. Somehow or another he'd become the designated older brother and he'd taken to the title like an Aquatank to water. He'd never quite gotten out of the habit, either.

His expression half-crumpled as Fey's fall flashed through his mind again, and his hands closed into fists, his fingers tangling in the blanket on the bed. He'd blown it again. He'd blown it with Roxas back then, before he'd come here, and he'd really blown it for Fey. Could she possibly have survived? Should he have gone to look for her?

No, there was nothing he could do right now. He needed to stay here, to keep an eye on Xion, at least until she was back on her feet to some extent. Vanitas didn't know him, didn't know his name, wouldn't know where to look for her if he sought to steal her again, but that didn't mean she was definitely safe here alone. Guilty as he felt for Fey, cowardly as he felt for sitting the fight out, he had known when they'd undertaken this mission that his role would be to keep Xion safe.

He only hoped he managed it.

"An-anyway," he said, and cursed himself for stammering. He never stammered. Clearing his throat, he concluded, "You were only actually missing for a couple days, but you've been asleep for a while now. So I'm not sure which number you'd rather go with."

[attheclocktower]

At some point she wanted to tell him, that it felt like déjà vu because it had happened, before. Never mind that that in and of itself was confusing. Nobody (no pun intended) was supposed to remember her. She didn't know the hows, if this wasn't somehow messing the worlds or people's lives up. Like your whole existence has, a quiet voice comments at the back of her head. Normally she'd have felt glad, hopeful, that maybe she isn't entirely forgotten. But on top of everything right then... it almost didn't feel real. He didn't remember, yet he might remember?

And then she froze when he mentioned Vanitas, and what had happened. Ignoring the twinges of pain an stiffness in her arm she pulled a hand up to brush the collar, mouth twisting. The hazy memories from when she'd first woken up suddenly came back to her, being trapped and unable to move in the dark. It'd been so short a time, then there'd been the wetness and voices and hands pulling her up and out - out of what?

She should've guessed something like this had happened the moment Axel had said she'd run into Vanitas. But at the same time, the knot of worry in her stomach was growing bigger and spreading.

"Why...?" her voice shook a little, "I... I couldn't move, I was trapped." He'd trapped her, somehow. In a box? It fit the vague sense of being lifted and moved... "But... why would he do that? Why wouldn't he just-" kill me? He'd already tried it once. What was so different? Was it because he'd wanted the negative emotions? Ven had said he.. fed off them, or something.

Or was it something else, entirely? Did it have to do with why Vanitas saw her as Ven, or else maybe her friends? She's... she's scared. She had no idea what was going on. She didn't know and there were too many what-ifs and she just didn't know and please let nothing bad happen because it would be her fault and she would've screwed things up (again).

She wanted to ask questions - where were the others: Roxas and Ven and Sora, were they okay, how had he found her - but she wasn't sure she could trust herself to speak , so instead her hand dropped back to her lap as she tightened her fingers into fists herself, trying to hide that they were shaking, slightly.

[got_it_memorized]

Axel looked at her when she spoke, her voice shaky, and he squirmed internally. Consolation had never been his strong point; he was relatively well-practiced at knowing the right thing to say to keep people on track, but this was completely different. This wasn't a junior member freaking out on their first mission. This wasn't being blindsided by an unexpected snag in the plan. This was a kid--a kid--traumatized and scared, and Axel just really didn't know what to do with that. Certainly he had a protective streak in him, but taking the brunt of an attack for someone was completely different from taking them by the shoulder and assuring them things would be okay.

The former he had no issues with. But the latter? He was all thumbs.

Her fingers were quaking and he reached out impulsively to close one big palm over the backs of her little hands.

"Hey, ah... look, you don't have to worry anymore, okay?" Well, it was a start. He pointed a finger at her then, before bringing his hand back to tap his temple. "Nobody's gonna get you without a helluva fight so long as I'm on the job; got it memorized?"

And that much, at least, he could say with confidence.

[attheclocktower]

She started a little, at the hand on her own, and looked up. The confidence with which he said it helped a little. She could trust him for this, she knew that much. He was her friend, he'd always helped her. Even if he couldn't remember it... how things were now didn't feel all that different than they had back then.

There was still the gnawing pit of worry as to why though. She didn't know Vanitas that well at all - she'd done everything to stay away from him after that time he'd tried to kill her. Why had he kidnapped her? Did it have something to do with her looking like Ven, like it had last time? She didn't know. She really didn't know. And she had a feeling that that was important, and not having any real clue scared her.

Except Axel was here. And he'd said he wasn't going to let anything happen to her.

"Okay," she said quietly, nodding.

If... if Vanitas tried to do anything, he'd be ready. And she would be too, now that she was awake and could use her Keyblade again... though being able to movie without her muscles shrieking at her would probably help too...

[got_it_memorized]

"So... maybe it's not the most ideal time to ask, but I figure it's pretty relevant," he said, looking a little uncomfortable, "but... who is this Vanitas guy, anyway? I know he's got some connection to Ven, but other than that I'm pretty out of the loop." He shook his head. "I won't even ask about who thought it was humorously ironic to make the villainous little bastard look like Sora," he muttered.

It had been jarring to say the least.

[attheclocktower]

Xion grimaced. "I... I don't know," she said, "Not much more than that. He hates Ven though. And... Ven said he gets stronger from negative emotions, or something like that." All she knew were the things that Naminé and Ven had both told her, and what she'd been able to glean from the one run-in with Vanitas she'd been conscious for.

Speaking of which, she should maybe tell Axel... But did she really want to though? She hated thinking about it, how terrifying it'd been, how she was a little scared of going too near the edge of the Tower now... Except this whole thing had proved that avoiding Vanitas wasn't enough.

"I met him once before, about a week before you got here," she said. She wanted to curl up, bury her face in her knees, but lying propped up on her back wasn't the best position to try. "I... don't know if you remember, but... because of what I am, people sometimes look at me, and see someone else."

"He saw Ven, and he attacked," her voice was quiet, "My arm was still hurt then, and I couldn't really fight back except with magic." She shook her head, ducking it. She should have left the moment he brought out his Keyblade, she knew she should have. But the things he'd said, they'd gotten under her skin, made her erratic and irrational - like the time that Riku had called her Keyblade a sham.

She fell silent for a little bit after that, her head bowed. It was all to easy to picture it all again, hear his voice - like Sora's but so twisted and wrong... Was it really that important to finish? ... except Axel would probably be able to tell she was holding out on him.

She closed her eyes, wishing more than ever she could just curl up and hide, "I was on Floor 20, watching the skies. He... tried to knock me off the tower," That part past, the tension in her shoulders eased very slightly, "Sora found me though. I was hanging on the edge, and he pulled me up, before I could fall." She was damn lucky though, and she knew that.

[got_it_memorized]

"Saw Ven...? Ah--!" He slapped his palm with the opposite fist. That explained it. ... Sort of. "When we first met here, for just a second, I could have sworn you were Naminé," he admitted a bit sheepishly. "It was only for an instant--I blinked at the image was gone and it was you, but... it was the damndest thing.

He was quiet then as she finished, and his expression darkened. So that was how she'd hurt her arm. With a sigh, Axel toed off his boots and folded his legs up on the bed, threading his fingers together in his lap.

"Damn," he said, unsure what else to say. "So how much trouble is this kid? I mean, the others are--"

He cut himself off with a sharp sound that wasn't quite a scoff. Light, if only he'd been paying more attention, maybe Fey wouldn't have... Dammit.

"I don't wanna just leave you here by yourself," he admitted, his voice quiet, thin, strained, "but I don't like just sitting here while everybody else is out there up against this bastard."

[attheclocktower]

... It was all getting over her head again. Naminé had said others could see Ven because Sora had some of Ven's, and by extension she'd somehow absorbed some too. But how could Sora have...

No. She wasn't going to figure this out now. Everything was already confusing and disorienting enough.

At Axel's next words though, she froze with surprise eyes flying open again, trying to process what he was saying, and not liking where that conclusion was going.

"Others?" Moments ago she hadn't been able to look at anything. Now she watched Axel with a very worried expression, "There... there were others too?" It'd been so frenzied... she might've gotten the impression of others, from the voices and the frenzied shift in scenery, back when she first woke up. It was hard to tell - everything had been so fuzzy...

Still, it just feels like it keeps getting worse. "They're fighting him? Wh-what's going on?" Were they okay? Would he hurt them too? Who all was even there?