Stupid. What's the point of killing yourself? The words echo in his mind and hit deep inside his soul, stirring the flame of life inside him.
"I don't...want to die?" he whispers from her words, coughing. Images flashed in his head. Cooking for the entire team. Listening to Minako talk for hours about herself.
Wanting to be normal.
If Castor really is a part of you, if he's the 'True Self' like he claims then you know the answer to that!
The months he spent in the hospital, dreaming of a girl who he couldn't remember the name of, when he finally woke up, the name on his lips. The last hug when she died in his arms. Being invited inside the velvet room and searching for her...
You just have to let yourself believe it!
The promise he made himself to live.
To live...
A big bully. Tch. Aki called him like that once too. He moves one of his arm tentatively. The healing wave has made it moveable again, and he feels his strength returning to him as he extends his fingers and slams them to the ground.
I don't want anyone else to die...
He wakes up from Minami's words, coughing and his head pounding. His entire body was aching. Shit, had she hit him? It didn't really matter anymore as Castor was a monster by this point and preparing itself to chase after the members of Strega that had escape. Could he really do anything? Did he want to?
...if you want to repent at all, if that's what you truly want...
...he could try. Pulling himself up on Minami, giving her a small smile as an attempt of thanking her before he can stand on his own two feet. He raises an arm into the sky as Castor continues to fight off against Yu's changing Persona by aiming its spear at Isis. He then takes another step towards him, trying not to trip from the dizzy feeling. His voice is clearer than before, and fuel but what England also told him...
Killing yourself to fight the monster within shall do little to halt it if the monster has already been freed.
And gods, what a monster its turned into. He touches his head and realizes that his hat fell off when he lost consciousness the first time. Now he can feel the horse's fiery breath in his hair and face. But he doesn't back down, narrowing his eyes.
"HEY ASSHOLE! That's enough. You gonna stop embarrassing me in public?!"
The large creature turns towards him and begins laughing. It is an insane laughter, of a beast that knows it was much more powerful than the puny mortal standing before him, before it turns away from his prey...and directly at Shinjiro, the lance aimed at his heart.
"If that is your wish...let me end your life!" There is no time to think. He holds up his hands, trying to protect Minami from getting hit herself...
But the spear doesn't miss.
Suddenly everything is quiet.
Shit. That was an idiotic thing to do--
Wait.
He's still alive. As Shinjiro realizes what happens, he looks down, eyes widening at the torn fabric revealing that the spear is dented where it attempted to pierce him.
Castor's immunities...are also his.
"You're a real bastard, you know that?" He takes the spear and throws it into a wall with a loud scream not caring if it also carried along the Persona still attacked to it. The walls groan and shake as a cloud of dust rises into the air. Shinji puts one hand above his eyes as he tries to peer inside. He knows that even something as powerful at that throw won't have hurt Castor much, but now..thanks to them....thanks to all three of them...he knows he can do this.
Yet nothing could have prepared for what came next as it was not Castor stepping out of the smoke...but himself.
"So you're finally getting it, aren't you?" It breaks into a run and grabs his neck. Castor begins to strangle him as it continues to taunt. "And what will you do now? Once I kill you, I will be the only one left..." Shinji trues to push him away, struggling to breathe.
"...just...this...."
He forms his right hand into a fist and without warning, sends an uppercut right into his Persona's face. It was a punch even Aki would have been proud of, and he feels the Shadow's fingers slip from his neck as he's sent directly to the ground.
For the first time, he can feel his Persona being afraid. Before it can get up, he takes Minami's weapon and aims it directly at his throat.
"Just even think about moving, and I let 'em pelt you with Agidyne."
"Tch...threaten all you want. You still can't let it go, can you? You're afraid of me, no matter what. You'll never get rid of me. I'm the monster inside you, pacing in a cage back and forth. You just have to slip again, Shinjiro. Shinji.Just once. You may try to stop me now, but I'll just come back later..."
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"I don't...want to die?" he whispers from her words, coughing. Images flashed in his head. Cooking for the entire team. Listening to Minako talk for hours about herself.
Wanting to be normal.
If Castor really is a part of you, if he's the 'True Self' like he claims then you know the answer to that!
The months he spent in the hospital, dreaming of a girl who he couldn't remember the name of, when he finally woke up, the name on his lips. The last hug when she died in his arms. Being invited inside the velvet room and searching for her...
You just have to let yourself believe it!
The promise he made himself to live.
To live...
A big bully. Tch. Aki called him like that once too. He moves one of his arm tentatively. The healing wave has made it moveable again, and he feels his strength returning to him as he extends his fingers and slams them to the ground.
I don't want anyone else to die...
He wakes up from Minami's words, coughing and his head pounding. His entire body was aching. Shit, had she hit him? It didn't really matter anymore as Castor was a monster by this point and preparing itself to chase after the members of Strega that had escape. Could he really do anything? Did he want to?
...if you want to repent at all, if that's what you truly want...
...he could try. Pulling himself up on Minami, giving her a small smile as an attempt of thanking her before he can stand on his own two feet. He raises an arm into the sky as Castor continues to fight off against Yu's changing Persona by aiming its spear at Isis. He then takes another step towards him, trying not to trip from the dizzy feeling. His voice is clearer than before, and fuel but what England also told him...
Killing yourself to fight the monster within shall do little to halt it if the monster has already been freed.
And gods, what a monster its turned into. He touches his head and realizes that his hat fell off when he lost consciousness the first time. Now he can feel the horse's fiery breath in his hair and face. But he doesn't back down, narrowing his eyes.
"HEY ASSHOLE! That's enough. You gonna stop embarrassing me in public?!"
The large creature turns towards him and begins laughing. It is an insane laughter, of a beast that knows it was much more powerful than the puny mortal standing before him, before it turns away from his prey...and directly at Shinjiro, the lance aimed at his heart.
"If that is your wish...let me end your life!" There is no time to think. He holds up his hands, trying to protect Minami from getting hit herself...
But the spear doesn't miss.
Suddenly everything is quiet.
Shit. That was an idiotic thing to do--
Wait.
He's still alive. As Shinjiro realizes what happens, he looks down, eyes widening at the torn fabric revealing that the spear is dented where it attempted to pierce him.
Castor's immunities...are also his.
"You're a real bastard, you know that?" He takes the spear and throws it into a wall with a loud scream not caring if it also carried along the Persona still attacked to it. The walls groan and shake as a cloud of dust rises into the air. Shinji puts one hand above his eyes as he tries to peer inside. He knows that even something as powerful at that throw won't have hurt Castor much, but now..thanks to them....thanks to all three of them...he knows he can do this.
Yet nothing could have prepared for what came next as it was not Castor stepping out of the smoke...but himself.
"So you're finally getting it, aren't you?" It breaks into a run and grabs his neck. Castor begins to strangle him as it continues to taunt. "And what will you do now? Once I kill you, I will be the only one left..." Shinji trues to push him away, struggling to breathe.
"...just...this...."
He forms his right hand into a fist and without warning, sends an uppercut right into his Persona's face. It was a punch even Aki would have been proud of, and he feels the Shadow's fingers slip from his neck as he's sent directly to the ground.
For the first time, he can feel his Persona being afraid. Before it can get up, he takes Minami's weapon and aims it directly at his throat.
"Just even think about moving, and I let 'em pelt you with Agidyne."
"Tch...threaten all you want. You still can't let it go, can you? You're afraid of me, no matter what. You'll never get rid of me. I'm the monster inside you, pacing in a cage back and forth. You just have to slip again, Shinjiro. Shinji. Just once. You may try to stop me now, but I'll just come back later..."