Ronald ☼ Knox (
hardknoxlife) wrote in
towerofanimus2012-05-15 01:29 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Characters: Ronald and his tower Homies
Setting: Floor 13
Format: Starting in prose but following you!
Summary: After reawakening from his punishment and first death, a rather guilt stricken puppy goes to lick his wounds after hiding away for a few days.
Warnings: Feelers, possibly... and references back to his punishment which involves dead bodies, blood and mutilation.
The first punishments were always the hardest, maybe. He wasn't certain as he had no idea who was new and who wasn't. But that dream was too vivd, far too vivid to be just a mere dream. What if it was real? What if it was what happened before he was brought here? For all he knew, it could have been the reason he was brought here. When he closed his eyes, his mind's eye supplied the pictures which came in just as clear as the nightmare itself had.
He'd seen them with those lifeless eyes trained toward him in accusation. He'd seen the blood he never thought would ever be spilled scattered about over the ground. His fault. He could have stopped it. And yet he was alive through it all. Of course, logic said it was a dream but there was still another part of him that nagged. Nagged at his mind and told him it could be possible. It could have been the reason why he was brought here first. What if it was all true? What if he DID do it and neither one of them remembered? After all, William wasn't around. What if he was dead? What if it was all his fault?
So he'd been skulking around, trying to find a place that didn't kill him just to think. Sit and think. There were too many people in the dorms, even more in the cafeteria and still a bunch more in the lounge. But then he found the thirteenth floor where things seemed secluded enough for him to find some measure of solace. Ironically enough, it was a cathedral. The younger reaper had never been devout -- not that he remembered, at least, but there were those in their dying breaths who had prayed to some god or another. He'd heard what prayer could do for a troubled heart.
Irony indeed.
But he wasn't here to pray. He just needed to think.
He'd brought his hat with him, his favorite black fedora which he didn't find in his trunk but had appeared by his bedside after the entire ordeal in the Labyrinth. This he held to his chest as he entered, eyes scanning the entire area around him. There was something calming about the stained glass and the pews to say the least. The mumbing didn't bother him. The thought of ghosts didn't, really. He was a reaper. What was there to fear?
Wordlessly, he slipped himself onto one of the back pews and pulled his legs to his chest. His head rested on his arms which he folded over one knee with a deep sigh before burying his face against it again. That dream. Even when he closed his eyes he could still see their torn flesh and hear their accusatory voices. He couldn't face them. Either one of them. He knew he couldn't look Grell in the eye, not after this, not when the possibility loomed so close...
So it was with a groan that he pulled his legs closer against his chest and tried to curl himself into a tighter ball than was possible.
Maybe if he curled in tight enough, he could disappear.
Setting: Floor 13
Format: Starting in prose but following you!
Summary: After reawakening from his punishment and first death, a rather guilt stricken puppy goes to lick his wounds after hiding away for a few days.
Warnings: Feelers, possibly... and references back to his punishment which involves dead bodies, blood and mutilation.
The first punishments were always the hardest, maybe. He wasn't certain as he had no idea who was new and who wasn't. But that dream was too vivd, far too vivid to be just a mere dream. What if it was real? What if it was what happened before he was brought here? For all he knew, it could have been the reason he was brought here. When he closed his eyes, his mind's eye supplied the pictures which came in just as clear as the nightmare itself had.
He'd seen them with those lifeless eyes trained toward him in accusation. He'd seen the blood he never thought would ever be spilled scattered about over the ground. His fault. He could have stopped it. And yet he was alive through it all. Of course, logic said it was a dream but there was still another part of him that nagged. Nagged at his mind and told him it could be possible. It could have been the reason why he was brought here first. What if it was all true? What if he DID do it and neither one of them remembered? After all, William wasn't around. What if he was dead? What if it was all his fault?
So he'd been skulking around, trying to find a place that didn't kill him just to think. Sit and think. There were too many people in the dorms, even more in the cafeteria and still a bunch more in the lounge. But then he found the thirteenth floor where things seemed secluded enough for him to find some measure of solace. Ironically enough, it was a cathedral. The younger reaper had never been devout -- not that he remembered, at least, but there were those in their dying breaths who had prayed to some god or another. He'd heard what prayer could do for a troubled heart.
Irony indeed.
But he wasn't here to pray. He just needed to think.
He'd brought his hat with him, his favorite black fedora which he didn't find in his trunk but had appeared by his bedside after the entire ordeal in the Labyrinth. This he held to his chest as he entered, eyes scanning the entire area around him. There was something calming about the stained glass and the pews to say the least. The mumbing didn't bother him. The thought of ghosts didn't, really. He was a reaper. What was there to fear?
Wordlessly, he slipped himself onto one of the back pews and pulled his legs to his chest. His head rested on his arms which he folded over one knee with a deep sigh before burying his face against it again. That dream. Even when he closed his eyes he could still see their torn flesh and hear their accusatory voices. He couldn't face them. Either one of them. He knew he couldn't look Grell in the eye, not after this, not when the possibility loomed so close...
So it was with a groan that he pulled his legs closer against his chest and tried to curl himself into a tighter ball than was possible.
Maybe if he curled in tight enough, he could disappear.

oh god.... i haven't tagged in a while...
We will slowly ease you back into it. NOW STAY WITH ME. /holds 1/2
It caused him to jerk his head up from the nest it had wedged itself into by his arm and knee. His voice, unused for several days came out nearly a hoarse whisper try as he may. Just in case it was something more than unsavory knowing the nature of this place, of course. ]
Who... who's there?
2/2
but what if it was all an illusion? He couldn't be here... but part of him wanted it to be William. An assurance that he was alive, an assurance that what he witnessed was really all just a dream. Anything.
So he couldn't help himself but stand perfectly straight save for the smallest trembling in his shoulders. His eyes threatened to water beneath those thick frames but it was far too late. Ronald swallowed down a sob, however as he spoke up. ]
Sir...? Is... is it really you, sir?
orz I feel like a douchebag.
Field Officer Ronald Knox. What is the meaning behind this tomfoolery? I should be filing an official complaint to Headquarters about your and Sutcliff's dismissal of official field work, the sudden absence without leave, and the kidnapping of Branch official- that would be myself.
[If there was any doubt before now that William was just a stubborn hallucination- it was suddenly and rather bluntly cleared when the soft metallic clickclickclick of a perfectly maintained death scythe narrowly missed clipping the cartilage of the young reaper's right ear.]
NEVER.
Bloody hell... they got you too.
[ But there was no time for any attempted sobbing into his arms or even just to vault himself over -- nope, that was for Grell to do. Ronald knew better, knew of his boss' personal space issues and how they were better off respected than violated.
So he manages to approach to a proper distance, giving his eyes one more rub before he swallows down that lump in his throat. ]
It's you, isn't it, sir? It really is you. You're alive.. and you're here...
[ Straightening up again now. ]
Begging your pardon, Mister Spears, sir but I don't have the slightest idea either. One minute we were on the Campania right, next minute I'm here. That was, oh... few weeks ago or summat. Can't quite remember. Last week's...
[ Voice softer again, reluctant. ]
Last week's been a blur, is all.
Re: NEVER.
Would there be anyone who would dare to not only masquerade as me but also have my scythe? You continue to prove my theory that there is nothing but cotton between recent graduate's ears.... Did you at least recorded your actions within your stay here?
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Though the smile looks tired... ]
Buggered if I know, sir. This place... it does things to you. Thought it was just another illusion that you were actually here.
[ And... whoops. ]
...sorry, Mister Spears. Did nothing of that sort either. But I did talk to people! As much as I could so I could figure this place out best I can. Mister Sutcliffe and I went to check the libraries too when he first got here.
Honest, we did!
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He was glad to see that Ronald was awake now, "Mister Ronald." He reached out cautiously. "Are you alright?"
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Not good. Not good, at all, and now it had been several days since those unlucky souls were released from the Labyrinth, and she still hadn't been able to find her partner in crime. Was he hiding from her? She almost thought he had to be, but she couldn't see why. Little punk. If he was doing it on purpose, she'd thrash him for it. Didn't he know she'd actually bothered to worry about him? How dare he keep to himself? How dare he not consider her feelings about the whole thing, and check in, like he ought?
But as luck so often has it, she found him just when she'd stopped looking. Mere minutes before stepping into the cathedral (one of the floors she hadn't divined any use for, and thus hadn't bothered to take a look at, yet. Her time seemed better spent in the library, or attempting to pin Sebastian down for more meetings over tea.), she'd decided to wash her hands of it. Ronald could turn up or not turn up. She wasn't going to be arsed to care, anymore.
...And then there he was, at the back of the cathedral, her eyes drawn to him as soon as she stepped through the doorway. She should have been relieved, but her overwhelming initial reaction was one of irritation. Because, as she'd just been thinking, how dare he?
"There you are," she called, voice rattling the stillness in the church. "What funny little game do you think you're playing at, making me traipse all over creation, looking for you?"
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So... you are telling me within the time that you have been here, you have noticed that there are influxes on your mind yet you did not stop to make daily and through observations? Good grief.... General affairs would have your head for this.
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[ Glancing back at the altar a moment before setting his hat down and jamming his hands in his pockets. Where to begin. ]
It wasn't like we were slacking off. It's just... well...
Cor...
[ Best to come clean. Start from the beginning. ]
I was killed last week. Then there was this dream that followed afterward. You and Mister Sutcliff... something had ripped the two of you to shreds... [ And very quietly. ] And it was my fault. I could've stopped it but I didn't.
[ For all this, it's a new sensation. Baring his soul out like this for the sake of reporting his ordeal, practically presenting his greatest fear brought to light. It made him feel vulnerable. ]
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Just like a hunter, she'd found him. Like a shark would after bleeding prey. But there was simply no hiding anymore. Maybe she'd smelled his fear. With a measure of reluctance and a slight groan of pain from the impact, he pulled himself up from the floor. There was a sigh of resignation as he glanced back up at her, biting his lower lip before speaking. "Wasn't playing a game." he finally muttered, hands jamming into his pockets. "Just... you... well..."
And his eyes turned down again, before he spoke. But when he did, his voice was barely a whisper, barely there, barely carrying the same brightness it once had. "You saw that dream, didn't you?"
B/a I tend to forget if he knows about the sponsorship.
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"If it's not a game, it's just rude," she decided, tucking her fringe behind her ear, only to have it fall back out and across her eyes. "My darling Sebastian is better company than you are, but that's not the point."
Her last word was nearly cut off, though, by the look on Ronald's face shifting. She had been talking over him, until he asked her about the dream. On the one hand, she had thought that, like dying itself, was something he could handle. She ought to be irritated with him, if he'd let it get the better of him. On the other hand, he looked hurt, and try as Grell might, she had been legitimately worried about him, every time he'd disappeared.
She climbed into the pew beside him, perching herself in the corner where the back and arm joined, her heels on the seat. Even if she wasn't going to say anything comforting, he looked meek enough, now, that she didn't have to keep standing over him, while he had that look plastered on his face. "And? It's a dream. Are you really so sentimental, that you put any stock in something like that? I thought better of you."
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"But what if it wasn't?" he muttered, still studying the way the stones cut and curved and spiraled about. The way the light danced off the stained glass. The way the mumbling around them seemed to be more of a calming mantra than a haunting drone from voices whose speakers weren't visibly present. "Didn't feel like just a bloody dream. Felt so real."
And there was the barest shiver that coursed through his system as he lifted his hand to stare at his palm. His eyes scrutinized it, seeking bloodstains that didn't exist, sins that weren't committed. Not in his waking world, at least. "I died out there." he managed to sigh, setting his hand back down limply by his side. "Died. You ever heard of that, Mister Sutcliff? A reaper. Dying."
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He clambered up onto the pew and nodded sadly. "It does. Every few weeks they make us play games or experiment on us, they are bad and I wish we could stop them!"
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Chin resting in her palm, she drummed her fingers against her jawline. Grell had had plenty of terrifying dreams, in her lifetime, and never placed any particular importance on them. It was a natural side effect of a volatile personality, she thought. What anger she couldn't act on, in real life, manifested itself in her sleeping mind, and yes, it was horrifying, sometimes, but it was gone when she woke up, and she didn't dwell on it. Nor did she really have the sort of empathy required to understand why Ronald was choosing to. The whole thing seemed pretty senseless.
"Of course you didn't," she said, after letting him finish his thought, for once. "That's ridiculous. If you'd died, you wouldn't have come straight back." Maybe it wasn't, to Ronald, but she thought that was a pretty reassuring thing to say. It may have felt like dying, but if it wasn't the real thing, what did it matter?
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"Felt bloody real to me." he muttered, pulling a leg to his chest and folding his arm over it with a sigh. Without another word, he set his head down and continued to stare off in the direction of the altar. "I felt the killing blow and everything and it wasn't even from a Cinematic Record." Ronald added after a moment's thought, eyes half lidded from both thinking and perhaps from fatigue. He didn't dare get a proper wink of sleep, not after that moment. Perhaps one could say that even the very idea of him dreaming was terrifying. What if he'd see it again? What if the tower had done something to him. Though it was true. If he was killed, why was he still alive?
Perhaps this place really did something to you.
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But there was no denying the information made him nervous. Oh sure, it was him now... but who's to say it wasn't going to be Grell the next time? Or Minako? Or anyone else he was slowly getting acquainted with? Maybe it was best the entire Dispatch wasn't here. It was safer that way.
"If you don't mind my asking," he finally piped up after a moment. "Did they make you play those games too?"
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He glanced up at him, "The worst thing they did to me was when they turned me into a deer... or well they mixed me up with a deer, I was a deer and a person at the same time with bones sticking out... I couldn't really walk very well but my friend Ven lent me his hoverboard. They made my best friend, she's gone now but she was a princess and a superhero and really really brave, they made her think that I was a bad thing that would hurt her like the monsters and they made her kill me."
He didn't really like thinking about that time, it had been a very scary month. "I woke up back to normal though and so did Molly so it was all okay in the end. I try and warn people that bad things happen here but they never believe me properly."
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So hearing real fear in Ron's voice, seeing real sleepless pallor tinting his face...it was uncomfortable, in a way. People shouldn't have feelings Grell couldn't just wave away. It was a little irksome to know that she actually gave enough of a damn about Ronald that she was still sitting there. With just about anyone else, she would have left after about five seconds of the look he had about him.
"You have a mind, don't you?" she asked, with a literal wave of her hand, even though she couldn't metaphorically wave the whole problem aside. "The mind's a powerful organ, darling. It can make you feel anything it wants. But really, you're forgetting the most important thing." She nudged his leg with the toe of her shoe, perhaps a little roughly. "I still say we were dead on arrival."
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Ronald had been listening despite the fact he showed no outward emotion, no singular reaction to anything she'd said so far. Of course the mind was a powerful thing. If cinematic records from maddened humans had anything to teach him, it was this. The mind could do whatever the hell it pleased without any regard for the rest of it. Even for one's sanity. But somehow, the entire speculation put his mind back on track and there was the barest semblance of a frown by the time she was done.
"That's a bit of a stretch then," he began, staring ahead and squinting ever so slightly in an attempt to focus on the details of the altar before them. " You think it was the dolls that did it? Overran the world and all? But Mister Spears saved us last minute. We can't be dead."
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"They will listen to you if you tell them mister Ronald, we need to make sure people stay safe!"
[sorry, fixin typos]
The more Grell repeated it out loud, the less it sounded like a cohesive idea, though. Sometimes, the smallest voice in the back of her head would speak up and say that she only still believed in it because she didn't know what would happen if she stopped. That was the demon's fault, curse him. Sebastian had asked her whether she really thought, as a reaper herself, she would have no recollection of her own death. And the fact was, she didn't think it at all. Whether it would be true or not, in practice, she couldn't imagine herself forgetting the act of dying.
"You know what I think?" she asked, more for herself, than for Ronald. "You don't, and I'm going to tell you. I think it doesn't matter. How we got here, if we're dead, it's all irrelevant to the matter of escaping. That's all that should concern you. How do the awful~ things you experienced bring you one step closer to getting out? "
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"You and I, we'd make a great team." he finally grinned, placing a hand on Romeo's shoulder. "We're gonna need every hand on deck if we're gonna have a million to one chance of getting out of here, right? And you do wanna see your home again, I'll wager."
No problemo! If you'll pardon my tagging speed. ;;;
So the protests died down, as did his drive to push it onward. After all, she made perfect sense. So what if he managed to die, imaginary or no? The fact remained that he was here, she was too, alive and well and all that. They both were. "S'pose you're right." he finally sighed, letting a leg dangle from the pew. "Can't help but wonder though... and don't get me wrong, I get what you're saying but..."
And at this, he can't help but frown. If he said it, it would be almost admitting it to himself. "If we're dead then... what's the point of trying to go back?"
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"We need to find a way to get everyone to work together!"
pardon my speed as well >__<
"I swear," she went on, "The very moment I think you're getting smarter, you go ask a thing like that." Not that she actually sounded more than superficially irritated with him. "If we don't get back, I suppose there's no harm in that, but who wants to stay here? This place is awful. We can't do what we like, I just know they're watching where we go," she ticked off her list of complaints on her fingers, as she went. "People are getting themselves maimed every blessed second, I haven't got even half of my clothes, and you wouldn't care to repeat what happened back in that maze, now, would you?"
But really, even if they were dead, Grell did want to go home. She loved London. After too long, she would miss the sight off it, miss the bad weather, miss perching on the rooftops, watching people come and go. Maybe she could take up haunting some nice house, or somewhere else equally amusing. It didn't really matter what they were going to do, when they got back. It only mattered that they returned, at all.
o9 No worries!
Funny how the world worked.
But he stretched out, arms over his head before settling them back down over the back of the pew. That little quip would earn her the smallest pout, his brows furrowing at the very thought that she considered him less than intelligent. “Well ‘scuse me,” he began, barely glancing back in her direction. However, she did make the most sense And it was this that caused that pout to disappear in favor of a look of resignation. “’Suppose you’re right though. We’d prolly be better off there than we are here. Can’t even get a moment’s rest. But hold on. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the mess on the fifth floor then?”
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At first he opened his mouth to protest but he knew there was just no arguing. Not against his boss. People had died for less. Instead, there was a sigh as he folded his arms behind his head. ]
He's actually here too, sir. Showed up prolly a week or so after I did.
[ So the three of them were here. Did it matter now? Did anything matter? He was fine and he was with the two he worried about the most. That thought alone caused the smallest smile to break from his worry. His head cocks in that self same way it usually does when trying to get a better view of things. ]
I'm glad you're alright, Mister Spears.
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[ And reaching for his hat which was left on the pew before trotting back up beside him. Ronald had to admit, there was a certain sense of... normalcy to all this. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't have anything to worry about anymore.
William was here and surely he knew what to do.
Right? ]
...Sebastian's here too, sir. Thought you'd like to know so... if I know Mister Sutcliffe, he's prolly hanging off that demon's arm.
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Her dislike for authority and expected behaviours extended even here. Those viewing stations could serve only one purpose that she could see: an attempt at manipulating the emotions of the people trapped in the Tower. An attempt at deadening their hopes of escape. How many people, like Ronald, would question the point in escaping, if they were dead, or their worlds gone? More than enough, Grell thought. If she did bother to look at what was supposedly left of their world, she wouldn't be anything but angry, and less at the destruction, than at what she was sure was a cheap trick.
"Playing into their games~ has no purpose," she said. "Did you wonder why I didn't sponsor you, in the labyrinth? That's why." She had to laugh at the people who had sponsored their loved ones. What did it amount to? Absolutely nothing at all. The people inside still suffered and died, and the people who tried to help were punished almost as badly.
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But he continued to listen in silence, tilting his head in a manner reminiscent of a very thoughtful golden retriever. He was lucky enough to have gotten one sponsorship at least and the food did last long enough to begin with. "Everyone ended up dying after all... and I don't suppose you got a glance at what happened to the winner, did you?" Ronald asked, pulling a leg to his chest as he turned his attention to the other reaper. "But... I can't say I knew about what happened to those who tried to help. What went on while I was in that labyrinth?"