[He sits back next to Ed, taking his own controller in hand and trusting that Ed is smart enough to pick up the proper way to hold a controller. He navigates through the menus quickly, and soon they're at the character select screen of that fanservicy fighting game he likes so much]

Alright Edward, time for a quick crash course. In this game, we've got two characters who are going to beat the crap out of each other. You're on the right side, I'm on the left. Use the stick on the left side to move between characters, and use the blue button on the right to pick one. Easy, right?