towerofanimus | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Characters: Reno, Shion (possibly roommates), Xion
Setting: 2-12, 1-01
Format: Prose
Summary: Shion's been suiciding and finally Reno decides to spawncamp him for Talking, then Reno needs to talk to Xion
Warnings: Mentions of suicide, probably

It was bad enough after that whole incident in the music room. Reno now couldn't find even a hair of Shion since then. Knowing the kid, he was probably doing something stupid, but he would have to come back to his own bed eventually.

So he sat in their shared room, and waited. And waited. And waited some more. He fell asleep waiting for the kid, but then... the kid was back, asleep as if nothing had happened.

He sat on the edge of Shion's bed and waited.

Shion had to know what happened. He had to know why Reno let him kill him.

Whatever was going to happen, he had to try to stop it.

---

The next order of business... Reno went to find Xion. He was worried about her, being the last word from her was that she was sick and Shion was taking care of her. With Shion's practically disappearing from the radar, he was worried about how she was getting on.

And, he has some things to tell her...

Not that he was looking forward to it, but he was a Turk. He had done things in the past much harder than this. It just took a little grit.

Knocking on her door, he waited, uncertain if she were sick and unwilling to disturb her.

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Xion actually wasn't in her room when Reno had knocked. She was... starting to feel vaguely better, at least enough that she could stagger up and around. And start thinking about things that weren't how miserable she felt. Shion wasn't there to keep her in bed, either.

And that's what she was thinking a lot about. Something had gone badly wrong. All she knew was that Reno and Ganon were involved, Reno had died, and now Shion was avoiding her. Shion never avoided her. When he was his most upset, he would cling to her harder than anything. What could have gone so badly wrong that Shion didn't want to be around her? And what did Shion know about what happened anyway?

Thankfully - or perhaps not - her musings were interrupted by how cold her extremities were getting. And something she'd noticed a while ago - before she'd gotten sick - was that the water at least could still get warm. It was a very roundabout and complex solution, but a solution it was. Thus, when Reno knocked, she was wobbling back from the bathrooms, her hands bright red and smarting a little from the sudden transition from relative warmth to below freezing cold.

She wasn't keeping too quiet, but she didn't even realize there was someone at her door until she looked up and sucked her breath in.

"Reno?" she asked quietly, biting her lip. She was so torn. She was relieved to see him again, to be sure, but still unsure. Especially since she still didn't know what had happened.

It had taken him a day to come up with the experiment, strange things happened when he died now and he wanted more information. And thinking about this, throwing himself into research meant that he didn't have to think about anything else. Especially since this research meant he spent most of his time dead.

Reno would be waiting a while, Shion had an hour of sleep paralysis, a terrifying experience that did not get better with experience. When he could finally move he sat up with a gasp, he had something he wanted to do... but every time he tried to think...

He couldn't remember and he was distracted by the fact Reno was there, on his bed. And Shion had been avoiding him since...

He tried to make a run for it, diving out of bed and trying to reach the door. A coward maybe but... he had killed Reno, what if he did it again. What if that was what he was now, someone who killed their friends. Nothing will be worse than your crime...

Turning to face her, he looked so... sad. Ganondorf's threat was still ringing through his ears, and the crystal dug into his hip, but that was nothing compared to the look on her face.

"Xion, before you run off, I need to talk to you."

He had so much to say, and so much to explain and didn't know where to start.

Oh no he didn't. Reno pushed up and launched himself in a tackle at Shion. "Stop, dammit!" He yelled, frantic to keep the boy from running. "I need to tell you something!"

"I wasn't going to run..." Her voice was quiet. She hadn't intended to, and she wasn't even sure she could at this point. She felt better than she had earlier this week, but she still didn't feel quite back to normal.

But why would he think she'd want to? And why was he looking at her like that. He'd never looked... so sad like this before.

What had happened? What could make both of her friends act so strangely? She didn't like it. It scared her more than she'd ever want to admit.

"Let's go inside," she added finally. She was still cold and the hallway didn't seem like a good place for this conversation.

Edited 2012-12-24 17:16 (UTC)

Shion had ran, it didn't seem like a stretch Xion would too. Still, this was promising and he opened the door for her.

"Xion, it's about that time Ganondorf kidnapped you..."

Yep, as if it wasn't an already hot topic, it sounded like he had something even worse to say than the memories of that time. He kept turning over how to word it over and over in his head, but at the last minute it seemed easier just to blurt it out.

Xion was halfway to her bed when he said those words. She stiffened, every muscle going tense in an instant. For a moment she was there seeing everything through that pink crystal, with lightning crackling around her in that brief second before her world had exploded.

She shook her head slightly to clear it. She was here. Ganon was who-knew-where in the Tower but it wasn't here and she was okay here.

"What about it?" she asked, trying to hide the quaver in her voice.

"I'm just gonna tell you, Xion... it's not fair to you keepin' it from you." He made sure to stand between the door and her. After Shion he wasn't going to risk an escape route.

"He didn't kill me... he cast some sorta spell on me. Until a few days ago I was acting on his behalf, so if I said or did anything... I... I'm sorry."

Holding up a hand, he wanted to get through it before she started talking. "Shion did me a favor and got rid of it, but Ganondorf... he's threatening... you two if I do anything against him."

Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself before continuing. "Shion... really needs you right now."

Something hard and hot was settling beneath her collarbone as Reno spoke. She couldn't even pin down the emotions all coursing through her right now. She did know though that she hurt. She hurt a lot for so many different reasons... she didn't even know where to begin.

Until Reno said those last words.

"He's avoiding me," she said quietly, then looked up, her eyes bright and upset, "He never avoids me, especially when he's upset. What happened? Why is he avoiding me?"

"...in order to break that hold, Shion killed me." Moving forward, he grabbed her shoulders and held her at arms length to look her in the eye. "I let him. He had to, otherwise I'd still be under Ganondorf and you two wouldn't even know about it. He... isn't taking it well. I think he said something to him... he was avoiding me. You've got to help, kiddo."

It was a good thing that he grabbed her around the shoulders, because at that moment she began to struggle to get out of them. Thankfully for Reno, Xion was still sick while he was not, so her flailing probably wasn't enough to break free unless he let her go.

It was as if everything snapped all at once. All her hurt and anger and fear and everything else she couldn't name.

"He keeps hurting people!" she shouted, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. It might not be immediately clear who she means, "He hurt you and Shion and Sora and how many is he going to keep hurting until he stops?"

She didn't know what she was supposed to do. Reno wanted her to help Shion but it honestly felt like she couldn't even help herself. How was she supposed to help anybody else?

"Stop it!" It was almost unbearable seeing her like this. All he had to fall back on was... "You're a Turk! Calm down and act like it." It was harsh, but maybe it would snap her out of it.

"We got to get Shion back on track and then we'll take it one step at a time, all right?"

Now he knew what it was like for Tseng, and Veld when they had been in the same position. Protecting them...

"You need to help me, and I can't have ya going off half cocked. Riku will kill me. And Sora won't be too happy either."

It was harsh and Xion cringed against what he said momentarily, before turning up to look at him, her eyes full of reproach and hurt. She did stop struggling at least, except for the token jerk or two.

She didn't want to listen anymore, but she was pinned in place, almost, and the words seemed to brand themselves into her head. It was finally the mention of Riku and Sora that made her sag, defeated. It was almost like he'd known that she wanted to go run out and do... something. Not go after Ganon. She was too afraid of him to do that. But fight monsters, hit walls or something until some of the hurt insde her disappeared.

She didn't say anything, but the change in posture, along with an accompanying shiver as she seemed to realize how cold she still was, should've said a lot more than words could right then.

Edited 2012-12-24 19:45 (UTC)

"Geez, you're freezing..." That shiver brought how cold it was to his attention and he started bundling her into bed. "Don't look at me like that, kiddo... you know I'm right. I forgot you were still sick..."

Maybe the Shion thing would have to wait, she didn't look too good now that he was paying attention. "Get some rest... think of somethin' to cheer Shion up."

Shion went down quickly not fighting at all. He couldn't risk it, he might lose control. Hurt Reno again. He was a monster and couldn't even conteplate what could happen if he fought back.

He assumed this was some kind of punishment for what he had done. And so he just lay there, his face blank, almost calm.

Keeping Shion pinned, Reno sat up with a sigh. "Shion, I wanted to thank you. Stop avoiding me, we need to talk."

He waited for a nod of agreement, acknowledgement, something from the boy before he would let him up.

"There's... a lot I need to tell you."

Thank him? Shion didn't understand. Why would Reno thank him? He should be screaming at him, hating him. Shion's crime had been so huge, so trecherous. Evenee if Reno was a traitor... Why was he wanting to talk? Was it on Ganondorf's behalf?

Shion looked up at him, tears in his eyes. "Sorry Reno..." His voice cracked.

Any words he had been about to say died before even reaching his lips. Instead, he just pulled Shion into a hug.

"Shion," he finally said, after a moment, "you saved me."

The hug broke him, Shion trembled in Reno's arms, tears spilling down his face. No one shall be sadder than you. He clung to Reno, just relieved that he wasn't mad, wasn't sending him away. Even though he was a traitor. But then so was Reno...

Shion's mind was all muddled, he was lost and afraid, felt like he was falling, hurtling downwards into nothing. Reno's words surprised him and he blinked at him, confused.

"Saved..." Shion shook his head, "I... I..." Betrayed you, Killed you, words that stuck in Shion's throat.

Shion's reaction had him worried. What had Ganondorf done when Reno kicked the bucket? Right now, he focused on keeping Shion from running again, patting the kid's back. "You managed to break the spell and got me outta there... he... he... did something to me that night he kidnapped Shion. You got me outta it..."

Shion clung to him, he was so confused and so lost but all that mattered was that Reno didn't hate him. He held onto that and tried to calm the storm inside his mind.

"A spell?" How had Shion managed to break a spell? He had no powers. He was confused, unable to process the fact that Reno was saying he saved him, when he had killed him, hurt him...

"Yeah, a spell. He was makin' me do that stuff. Now look, kiddo." It was getting a little stifling being held, but Reno pushed down his discomfort. "You got to stop this. It took me a couple days to figure out you've been killing yourself! Otherwise I woulda found you. Who knows what'll happen? You've been seein' things, haven't you? It isn't right."

Making him do stuff? Some kind of mind control.

Pieces of the puzzle clicked together, the missing link. The part Shion had been missing and he couldn't believe how stupid he had been, to believe for one moment that Reno had betrayed them. That he would have willingly joined Ganondorf.

It made Shion feel worse, he had killed him when he had done nothing wrong.

The words made Shion look away, twisting himself in Reno's arms and that's when he realised something he probably would have realised before if his emotions had not been in the way.

"I can't feel you... I'm all tingly." He poked his arm to test it, "That's never happened before. Not my entire body."

That had Reno stop dead in his tracks, as he had been about to say something. "What? Tingly?" He started testing Shion for a broken bone or two along his arms. "Ya can't feel anything?"

Shion frowned doing his own examination, nothing hurt as such. "It feels like when you sit on a limb too long so that no blood reaches it, except my entire body."

It was strange and wasn't going away, nor was there any rush of blood returning. "It's happened to one or both limbs on previous occasions, but never the entire body. Jason said that my reactions were an unintended side effect, so perhaps this is too."

Reno's hair felt like it was standing on end and he went a little pale. Dying was getting Jason's attention? "He actually spoke to you?"

"Yes." Shion reached over to his trunk to pull out the papers he was using to record his results, and a pen. "This is the second time he has spoken to me, this time I could move fully but was held down. The first time I could move my head completely, it took him by surprise I think."

"Wasn't your body broken?" The whole idea was hard to grasp for Reno. He wasn't a science man. Knowing a lot about things from reading all those books in the libraries when he first got here wasn't the same as actually being able to use it, or being a scientist.

He grabbed the papers Shion had. "You've been doing this on purpose. I told ya not to the first time. This is the kind of thing that Hojo started out doing."

"They were doing something to it, fixing it I assume. There was no pain though." He made a grab back for the papers but Reno's words stopped him like a bullet through his heart.

He fell back, letting go of Reno completely. No crime will be worse than yours. A few days ago Shion would have passionately argued, told Reno he was nothing like Hojo. That he would never ever harm other people, no matter what he wished to learn.

But a few days ago he would have said he would never kill anyone, never of even thought in his worst nightmares he would kill Reno.

He was a monster... He had no knowledge of what he was capable of. Ganondorf had known this, Reno knew this too... Shion sat trembling. Could he really turn into Hojo?

He felt sick, the feeling of falling into an abyss had returned and he wanted to... wanted to...

He couldn't remember but he didn't want to be here, right now.

Slowly, he realized he had said something wrong when Shion started trembling. "Hey, Shion? You okay?" He gave back the papers and leaned down to look right at Shion's face. "Hey, kid. Come back. What's wrong with ya? ...what did Ganondorf do to you?"

The papers fluttered to the floor as Shion refused to look up, his arms wrapped around his knees like he was trying to hold himself together. Which he was.

He flinched at Ganondorf's name and shook his head, "Nothing..."

Now Reno shook him, trying to get him to snap out of it. "Shion! Don't listen to that asshole! I won't let anything happen to ya as long as I'm here."

That just made him feel worse, because he knew that. He knew Reno would do anything to protect him. He shouldn't have doubted that.

What he doubted was his ability to ever return that, he had killed him... He had no idea if he could stop himself from doing that again in the future.

His teeth rattled as he was shook. "I'm sorry."

"Tell me what happened." Reno ordered, sitting up straight and looking at Shion full on. "You're a Turk, remember?" It was a last, almost desperate plea with the boy.

He was, and the face he was a Turk was one of the few things keeping him from completely unraveling and letting the spiraling dark take him. He didn't look up but he did speak after a moment, his voice tense and quiet.

"He didn't do anything, he just spoke to me."

"Don't believe any of it. You did the right thing. 'Sides, it's not like any of us can really die, right?" He patted Shion's shoulder, trying to get him to cheer up. "C'mon, ya need to go take a shower and feel better."

Shion shrugged because he did believe it, despite what Reno said. Surely there would have been another way to save him from Ganondorf's magic.

"I still hurt you." He didn't move, even if Reno was right and he should go take a shower.

Suddenly, Reno just laughed and slapped Shion on the back. "Kiddo, we all get hurt, we all hurt each other, and sometimes we gotta do stuff we don't want to... you read my report book, remember? We're just a bunch of broken people that stick together."

Then he got up, and held out a hand for Shion to pick himself up with. "C'mon, rookie. We got work to do."

Shion blinked, was that what he was now? A broken person?

He blinked sadly at Reno a couple more times before nodding and taking his hand standing up. Reno was right, as always, they had work to do.

He headed to the shower his body still strangely numb.

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