"Forgive me. At the time I had thought I was reading too much into it," she said with no real emotion behind it whatsoever. It still embarrassed her how he had seen her break down and she was about to tell him just how she had heard about his identity when he asked her that question.
Her initial instinct was to say 'yes. Of course I would.' as she often had in the past but a tugging on her heart stopped her.
In her mind's eye she saw Rin, proud and hurting and with the potential to rival Merlin himself in talent. She saw John with his Pokemon that wide-toothed grin of his. Yu giving up on her stubbornness and simply picking her up. Zelda's tears at the death of Dax.
The part that hurt the most about the thought is that, unlike those villages she had been forced to sacrifice when there was no other choice, most of the people here would understand. Not all of them, no. But most of them. Not just understand but likely be willing to bare their necks for her sword should just such a situation occur.
How could she sacrifice such noble people? Yet how could she not when the stakes were that high? How could she when their deaths meant the worlds would be destroyed otherwise? How could she make that choice when all her choices in the past only led to ruin and despair and no one saved at all?
Her voice was very small and very troubled when, after a few long moments, she finally said: "I don't know."
For the first time in her life, she truly and utterly hated herself in that moment. Had Shirou's death and the consequences of the Grail affected her so? What had happened to any surety she had before?
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Her initial instinct was to say 'yes. Of course I would.' as she often had in the past but a tugging on her heart stopped her.
In her mind's eye she saw Rin, proud and hurting and with the potential to rival Merlin himself in talent. She saw John with his Pokemon that wide-toothed grin of his. Yu giving up on her stubbornness and simply picking her up. Zelda's tears at the death of Dax.
The part that hurt the most about the thought is that, unlike those villages she had been forced to sacrifice when there was no other choice, most of the people here would understand. Not all of them, no. But most of them. Not just understand but likely be willing to bare their necks for her sword should just such a situation occur.
How could she sacrifice such noble people? Yet how could she not when the stakes were that high? How could she when their deaths meant the worlds would be destroyed otherwise? How could she make that choice when all her choices in the past only led to ruin and despair and no one saved at all?
Her voice was very small and very troubled when, after a few long moments, she finally said: "I don't know."
For the first time in her life, she truly and utterly hated herself in that moment. Had Shirou's death and the consequences of the Grail affected her so? What had happened to any surety she had before?