[He stops trying to step away. Honestly, he's almost sorry he refused her offer to sit now. More than that, Diarmuid finds himself suddenly wanting to curl into a ball and hide.
That need to hide again. It almost makes him physically ill to know he's so weak. The servant swallows hard to try and push the feeling away, but it doesn't work very well and he starts shaking for a completely different reason than he was before.]
Once being a knight was my duty. It was all I knew and I was fine with that, but then things changed...
[But had they changed sooner than he had originally thought? Diarmuid pauses as that thought skitters across his mind. Usually, when he thought of these things, he always pinned his drift away from being only a knight as starting when he was betrayed by Kayneth.
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[He stops trying to step away. Honestly, he's almost sorry he refused her offer to sit now. More than that, Diarmuid finds himself suddenly wanting to curl into a ball and hide.
That need to hide again. It almost makes him physically ill to know he's so weak. The servant swallows hard to try and push the feeling away, but it doesn't work very well and he starts shaking for a completely different reason than he was before.]
Once being a knight was my duty. It was all I knew and I was fine with that, but then things changed...
[But had they changed sooner than he had originally thought? Diarmuid pauses as that thought skitters across his mind. Usually, when he thought of these things, he always pinned his drift away from being only a knight as starting when he was betrayed by Kayneth.
But...it had started sooner than that, hadn't it?
Like when he became a father...]
Have I been wrong all this time?