Matou Kariya (AU) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
canofworms) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-03-14 01:21 pm
canofworms) wrote in towerofanimus2013-03-14 01:21 pm
Entry tags:
[CLOSED] That moment when you contemplate putting flour in the microwave.
Characters: Kariya (AU) & UnShirou
Setting: F1: Cafeteria, dinnertime
Format: Action!
Summary: Kariya keeps running into dead people, why is this a thing!!
Warnings: Fate/BUGS, as always
[The cafeteria kitchens are accommodating enough; there's nothing weird about the vast counters or the walk-in fridges or anything else. Kariya's standing in front of one of those fridges with the door open, contemplating it with a somewhat dissatisfied look on his face. For once, he doesn't have his Blade Wing Worms out because, well, worms in the kitchen.
The thing is, he likes chicken and he likes waffles, but give him raw whole chickens, a pile of flour and chocolate chips and what on earth is he supposed to make for dinner? His cooking skills aren't exactly that exemplary...]
Setting: F1: Cafeteria, dinnertime
Format: Action!
Summary: Kariya keeps running into dead people, why is this a thing!!
Warnings: Fate/BUGS, as always
[The cafeteria kitchens are accommodating enough; there's nothing weird about the vast counters or the walk-in fridges or anything else. Kariya's standing in front of one of those fridges with the door open, contemplating it with a somewhat dissatisfied look on his face. For once, he doesn't have his Blade Wing Worms out because, well, worms in the kitchen.
The thing is, he likes chicken and he likes waffles, but give him raw whole chickens, a pile of flour and chocolate chips and what on earth is he supposed to make for dinner? His cooking skills aren't exactly that exemplary...]
no subject
He'd been exploring the available facilities as much as he could: the lack of variety in the supplies (really, the sugary, low-nutrienous foods and simple meals would have been something Dad would have eaten if he was denied a Big Mac) and the weird design of the cafeteria kitchen hadn't been too pleasing to him, but on the other hand, it had all the tools one needed to properly prepare a dish plus a number of people to feed and that was all he could ask for right now.
The teenager hadn't found an apron to wear but not for lack of trying. And the guy didn't seem that sure of what to do; and Shirou was willing as ever to help anyone he laid eyes upon. He approached the new person from behind, not concealing the sound of his footsteps as to not catch him off guard and said helpfully; ]
Hey, do you want a hand?
no subject
[He'd started to reply a little distractedly, still complaining at the list of foods he couldn't make to himself, but once his brain catches up with his ears Kariya goes still and silent. He doesn't turn around right away.
It's funny how most of the time, he ends up being ambushed on the relatively innocuous floors. The nice meadow, the TV room, the kitchen -- though, even beneath his surprise he's a little resigned.]
... Shirou?
[Because it's a kitchen. And, though he doesn't think he's ever heard that voice in quite that tone, he wouldn't forget it after ten years of associating it with the casual click of a gun's safety going off.
So let's not make sudden movements just yet.]
no subject
[ It's not healthy to eat nothing but stuff like that for a whole month. Then he cuts himself off as the other man's distracted response trails off and he goes absolutely still. Shirou watches his stiffened back, his rigid stance and wary tone of voice, a little puzzled at him uttering his name but not alarmed. Offhandedly; ]
Hmm, yeah?
[ One day, Shirou will recognize that unfamiliar men knowing his name without him knowing theirs in return is a warning sign he should back off and take a check of the situation. Unfortunately having all the self-preservation instinct of a dead slug, and not that great at reading the atmosphere, he doesn't. It never occurs to him that this man might be afraid of him. The thought doesn't cross his mind at all.
He takes a step closer. ]
no subject
He tries not to think about it, unless they walk up to him in the kitchen to debate the merits of dinner.
The nonchalant response makes him stiffen further for a moment before he shakes himself and finally looks around with a sigh.]
--Which Shirou are you?
[At this point, he feels qualified to ask flat out. The height and expression are both somewhat off -- but unlike Shinji's sudden and spectacular shrinking, the minor details here don't actually tell him much.]
no subject
At his question, Shirou looks a little confused before he huffed softly. Well, alrighty. He'll just save the discussion of dinner for later then.
He ventured; ]
—The one that isn't an asshole?
[ When he mentions an 'asshole him' he's talking about Archer. He has no idea why he's being asked this, but there's only two versions of himself in the Tower, and one of them's himself and the other's that white-haired Servant with steel eyes. He isn't sure why this unfamiliar man knows his name without him giving it, but that could be excused by Archer being careless or a dick or something along those lines. ]
no subject
Though, Kariya's also forgotten to close the fridge door. There may be cool air blasting in your faces at the moment (maybe that's why you're chilly, Kariya....). He raises an eyebrow; if there were any doubt left that this wasn't his Shirou--
On the other hand.]
Who's the other one?
[Because he doesn't know, of course, who that Archer is. The epithet applies quite neatly to the ginger he knows, though, so it's not exactly reassuring.]
no subject
Now, his eyebrows draw together and he progresses from looking confused to looking wary, though it's not the cold air wafting from the open fridge door that's causing his wariness. Wait, so this unfamiliar man hadn't found out his name from Archer? ??? So how had he known it?
Shirou opens his mouth, considering what to say.]
If he hasn't told you, I'm not sure it's my place to tell you. Sorry.
[ Archer hates being Emiya Shirou. He probably wouldn't appreciate it if some random magus found out his true identity unless he consented to it, and unlike Archer, Shirou wasn't a big bag of cynical dicks! So he'll keep his lips zipped closed on this. And with that, the teenager politely shuffles around the other male and reaches out to push the fridge door shut. ]
Western name orders zzzz
He steps aside easily enough when the fridge door is forced shut -- he's absent-minded like that, and has been scolded for it occasionally at home, but.
But the roundabout answer somehow manages to confuse him more, something he hadn't thought possible. His not-nephew's situation is -- had been -- incredibly complicated, true, but not to the point where the identity acrobatics got this bad.
Who are they even talking about anymore?]
... Just tell me one thing. Is Shirou Kotomine in the Tower?
whoops
He finally gets the inkling they are talking about two completely different people. Stupid, unintentional identity acrobatics.
And now that the fridge door is shut and no longer wasting energy, he moves to return to his original position but the unfamiliar man goes and drops that bombshell and he freezes in place halfway there, wariness once more replaced by confusion.
Shirou stares at him like he had just sprouted dozens of tentacles and started loudly talking about mana dolphins, the prepared question of 'hey, how do you know my name' dying forgotten on his lips. His response is very intelligent and well thought and brilliantly delivered; ]
What?
[ No, really.
What the hell. ]
Shirou... Kotomine?
no subject
[Not very intelligently, but at least it was effective! Congratulations.
It was a risk, the question. He feels a little bad for 'Shirou', considering the face he's making, but making sure the one he knew wasn't here was more important. He's not sure what he would have done with the knowledge, but it's moot now.
And now it's awkward.]
Sorry about that. These things happen, with Second Magic.
[Sometimes it's a good excuse!!]
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[ How would that even work, why would he have that man of the church's, with his absurd greetings and heart of black mud and his orphan-torturing prana-batteries, last name? Shirou seems to be bent on spending most of this conversation looking indignantly bewildered, but he unfreezes quickly and continues walking back to his original position.
Yeah, now it's awkward. The shock's gone at least. ]
Urh. I see. That's... convenient?
[ Fucking Second Magic. ]
no subject
He's silent for a moment, watching this Shirou. The resemblance, he thinks, has to be mostly skin-deep. He might recognize a mannerism here or there, but very little else. It will be very different from Shinji.
He tries a smile.]
Probably not very convenient for you, right? All I can tell you is that Kirei Kotomine raised you, and that you were my nephew Shinji's friend.
[The rest, considering his reactions so far, he might be better off not knowing. It's a little heartening that he's so wary of the name 'Kotomine', though.]
no subject
... It's not working. The concept of being adopted and raised by anybody other than Dad, anybody other than Emiya Kiritsugu just. Isn't registering to him? On any level, at all. He understood Kotomine, could even stand to admit he had liked him. But his despicable actions wasn't something the teenager could tolerate and do anything but oppose in every sense of the word. If he had been taken in by such a man, he would have (it's too hard to imagine himself not being empty, so he immediately assumes this other version is as well) been filled with his ideals, wouldn't he?
The thought wasn't acceptable.
Nope.
Nope.
He's gonna give up trying to process it in connection to himself, and go on flawlessly pretending he gets it beyond 'oh so that's what happened.'
He points out, scratching his cheek. ]
It is for you, though. [ Since it explains any differences. Then he lifts up an eyebrow. Huh. Relation to Shinji --> relation to that old bag of dickworms --> relation to Sakura. He chuckled. ] Shinji's your nephew? Yeah, we were friends in my world too but... Things happened.
[ Fifth holy grail War things. And getting tricked into reading Sakura's diary without permission from her. ]
no subject
Watching those mental wheels attempt to spin almost audibly isn't any less entertaining for all the difference, though. Kariya feels a little bad about it -- the Shirou he knows rarely gets that out of sorts, so perhaps it isn't entirely a fair comparison.
He's not sure what else to feel, though: should he be relieved? Pleased? He hasn't failed the Shirou of his world any less. How much should he watch what he says to this Shirou? It's enough to make him sympathize with the look on the boy's face, at the end of the day.]
I don't know if I'd call it convenient, but it's nice to meet you, anyway. [When in doubt, be polite!] And I'm sorry to hear that -- I know Shinji can be a bit difficult.
[An understatement, to be sure, but it's difficult for him to imagine just how different this other reality is. There are too many things to consider, and he can't imagine his nephew being at odds with Shirou for very long.]
... Sorry, you came here for food, didn't you? I was going to cook something, but.
[But, indeed.]
no subject
It's good to meet you too. [ And he returns that politeness just as willingly. He smiles at the unfamiliar magus referring to Shinji as "a bit difficult", knowing that was an understatement. ] So, if you're Shinji's uncle, you're a member of the Matou family too, right? We haven't met in my world.
[ And since he knew his name, it would be nice for Shirou to know his name.
The man didn't seem like a bad person. Perhaps he was one of the nicer Matous? Come to think of it, there had only seemed to be three of them left by the time the fifth grail war had rolled around so maybe he had died of old age by then. The mention of food sidetracks for a moment and he feels empathy for the difficulties that cooking here brought. ]
... Yeah. The ingredients that this place has on hand aren't very varied or nutritious, but I think I can cook with them. Would you like help?
[ He repeats his initial offer. ]
no subject
Right. I'm Kariya Matou -- sorry, I should've given my name. [He'd been a little distracted... and can't decide, in the end, whether it's fortunate or not that he and this Shirou have never met before.] ... And I wouldn't mind some help, actually. It's embarrassing, but I'm from the 'throw things into a pot' school of cooking and, ah, somehow I don't think my skill level is high enough to make all of these come out edible.
[He turns back to the fridge and stares at it for a moment; despite the door being closed, he doesn't think the ingredients would have magically changed. Too convenient.
Too bad he's not a better magus, huh? And somehow, he has the feeling this Shirou will be just as ridiculously well-practiced in the kitchen. He met him here, after all. Flawless logical deduction.]
... Chicken soup, do you think?
no subject
[ He is indeed not bothered by it all. The initial tension between the two of them seemed to be have cleaned up, and the misunderstanding resolved as a difference between their two worlds. It was strange his name had been known before he found out the other man's name, but that had been explained as well. So. Kariya Matou? Yes, he had never met somebody with that name. Neither Sakura nor Shinji had mentioned him either so perhaps... he had been reclusive or his death had not been mourned by the rest of his family?
... Yeah right.
ANYWAY! Cooking. Cooking, cooking cooking cooking cooking. The older magus turns around to look at the fridge with a sheepish air hanging off his shoulders, leaving Shirou to stare at his back. ] Aa, I see. Don't feel bad, cooking isn't the thing to do for everybody. I'm be glad to help.
[ On the bright side, Kariya is not riddled with worms in unappealing places and everywhere else even if he's not the greatest magus around. He smiles. Ridiculously well-practiced in the kitchen, check. Happy to help a novice chef, check. Dumbass, check. ]
Hey, that's a good suggestion. [Let's see about where he left those cooking utensils...]
no subject
It's easy enough to put that out of his mind by now, though.]
Something fast and easy seemed like the way to go.
[They're probably both hungry after that round of identity roulette.
Since Shirou seems to have done the
PavlovianShirou thing and immediately commandeered the kitchen area, Kariya will poke his head back into the fridge.]There are only whole chickens, you can cook those, right?
[Or boil them, whatever you did to turn chickens into chicken soup. He can throw things in a pot, he's not a recipe writer.]
no subject
[ The cafeteria kitchens seemed to have returned to their proper calm state, so Shirou is content to rummage through for a correctly-sized pot. He already had out a knife and cutting board on the countertop. His voice is thoughtful when he calls a response to Kariya's inquiry, echoing a little from inside the chilly fridge. ]
Yeah, you can. [ Idle pause. ]
Are there any vegetables around to be found around here this month? The soup would taste best if the whole chicken was put in a pot with those, covered with cold water and left to simmer for awhile.
[ That's okay, Kariya, that's what the housewife-in-training was here for. ]