[If she had any way of knowing what Sephiroth were actually thinking right now? There would be no way Yukiko would be able to stay right there. She'd be going after him, to a result that would not end well. Normally, she's able to adjust her emotions and keep a cool head in battle when working them into her magic; it's just how things work, when her power is so closely tied into her soul. She knows there's a fine line between knocking a Shadow into line and hurting the person behind the Shadow, and she's careful not to cross it. They all are.
But when it comes to matters of the heart, that control isn't nearly so good. All of this is so new to her, and it was painful enough knowing that things were manipulated, on two levels. It's been a comfort knowing that the original feelings were there before that manipulation even started. If she had any way of knowing Sephiroth was laughing about it all right now?
That careful control of her emotions would be gone, and with it, her willingness to stay there and to not confront him. It would probably be a fatal loss of control for Yukiko.
It's really for the best right now that she doesn't have any way to know. That way, she can keep her head and her control.]
I never once stopped caring about you, once those feelings started. And I'm just going to say it, honestly, from my heart, since one of the jerks who tried to manipulate my - no, both of our hearts - is listening, and so he knows the truth: those feelings didn't start between us because of your manipulation.
[Yukiko takes a deep breath. This is not easy for her, and that's clear by the blush on her face, but she's determined to continue.]
They started after I reached out to you, Ryoji, back in April, when you weren't yourself. You hurt me under the Tower's control, and when I saw you, you were scared. You didn't want to say anything. We talked, that day, for a really long time. About what happened, about being from the same world, about what happened, about my experiences, about yours.
Sometime during that conversation, you took my hand, and that was the spark for what turned into feelings that - well, they're something I hadn't felt for anyone honestly before. Before that, I hadn't let myself feel them because of things like school and work and telling myself there wasn't any time, or because of everything that happened at home. The one time I did feel them before that? It wasn't real.
But that moment, that spark, and the feelings I still have, despite everything? Those aren't anything anyone manipulated.
I care about you, too, Ryoji. I'm not going to stop worrying. I can't just turn those feelings off like that. It's not how it works.
I've said this to you before, and I believe it: you are so much stronger than this. If you need my strength, too? It's yours. You don't need to ask.
whoops, this kind of renders the letter in Dia's inbox moot
But when it comes to matters of the heart, that control isn't nearly so good. All of this is so new to her, and it was painful enough knowing that things were manipulated, on two levels. It's been a comfort knowing that the original feelings were there before that manipulation even started. If she had any way of knowing Sephiroth was laughing about it all right now?
That careful control of her emotions would be gone, and with it, her willingness to stay there and to not confront him. It would probably be a fatal loss of control for Yukiko.
It's really for the best right now that she doesn't have any way to know. That way, she can keep her head and her control.]
I never once stopped caring about you, once those feelings started. And I'm just going to say it, honestly, from my heart, since one of the jerks who tried to manipulate my - no, both of our hearts - is listening, and so he knows the truth: those feelings didn't start between us because of your manipulation.
[Yukiko takes a deep breath. This is not easy for her, and that's clear by the blush on her face, but she's determined to continue.]
They started after I reached out to you, Ryoji, back in April, when you weren't yourself. You hurt me under the Tower's control, and when I saw you, you were scared. You didn't want to say anything. We talked, that day, for a really long time. About what happened, about being from the same world, about what happened, about my experiences, about yours.
Sometime during that conversation, you took my hand, and that was the spark for what turned into feelings that - well, they're something I hadn't felt for anyone honestly before. Before that, I hadn't let myself feel them because of things like school and work and telling myself there wasn't any time, or because of everything that happened at home. The one time I did feel them before that? It wasn't real.
But that moment, that spark, and the feelings I still have, despite everything? Those aren't anything anyone manipulated.
I care about you, too, Ryoji. I'm not going to stop worrying. I can't just turn those feelings off like that. It's not how it works.
I've said this to you before, and I believe it: you are so much stronger than this. If you need my strength, too? It's yours. You don't need to ask.