towerofanimus | To see a world in a grain of sand

Entry tags:

To see a world in a grain of sand

Characters: Kirei Kotomine and OPEN
Setting: The Dormitories (1-04). Floor forty-eight (the graveyard). Aaaand wildcard meanderings which you can happily place at your leisure!
Format: Brackets.
Summary: Kirei wakes in the Tower and explores his new surroundings.
Warnings: General disclaimer that Kirei is an awful person, discussions of suicide in his thread with Claudia, and specifics will be added as necessary.

Dormitories
[ He reads the letter, and he feels nothing.

What should he feel? Sorrow? Perhaps another person would label his utter lack of response as a state of shock or disbelief, as if he were denying the gravity of the message. However, while Kirei is reserved about taking those words as full truth, it is not a fool's hope which motivates him to such skepticism. What was lost in that world that he could mourn? Very little, in the end.

However, there is the War he left behind – and with it, he left behind the Grail, and his one chance to have his questions answered.

Perhaps it isn't nothing after all, but the feeling in his chest is not that of an honest man. But does it matter? Now, there is no remaining trace of his life save for a trunk of impersonal, unimportant things.

Regardless, he opens it, changes into his vestments, and exits into the hall. ]

Floor Forty-Eight
[ It is only natural that he finds himself in a place like this.

The graveyard stretches before him: like an echo of the world which he has been told is gone. He steps toward and kneels before a stone, trying to read its worn lettering with no success. It is difficult for him to determine why he makes the effort; perhaps he expects to see a name he recognizes.

Perhaps he expects to see his own. ]

Wandering
[ It is similar to the day he woke with the Command Spells, in a way, when he finds himself in this place. He was thrust into a world of unknown to him, of magi and their Holy Grail War. At the beginning, he had not understood his involvement in such a battle. Then, he spoke to Archer...

Perhaps this Tower is the same: he does not understand it now, but he can explore. He can discover more of it, and of himself.

But will what he finds favor him, or destroy him? ]

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[ kariya has been cautiously exploring the tower since his rather eventful arrival, taking care to stay on guard for other signs of berserker's master or things that could harm him. he's a clever enough child, after all, and he's not one to dismiss good advice. and anyway, he's a master and a magus, isn't he? he can't rely on lancelot for everything, no matter the knight's assurances.

still, his depth perception will always be a little off, and he has a huge blind spot, so maybe it was inevitable for him to round a corner eventually and nearly bowl into someone. he stops himself short only barely, scrambling back a few steps in haste to make sure it's not a threat. but-- no, when he glances up, it's a-- a priest?

for a few startled seconds, he stares, gray eye wide in his face. when he realizes he's doing it, though, he dips hastily into a polite bow. ]

I'm really s-sorry. I'm.. I should be more careful.

[ Kirei's own pace is steady and he does not startle when he is nearly struck. He stills in time to avoid collision -- and he stays still a moment longer as he gazes at the child before him. For that brief moment where that boy is staring at him, his appearance is vividly familiar, but it could not be.

However: the idea of a child in a place like this... Objectively, it strikes him as strange, but it does not spark the same concern or sympathy that one would anticipate. ]

You should. [ Then, after a moment: ] Are you alone here?

[Claudia hadn't actually signed up for it herself, but there are worse jobs to be given than gravekeeper. The responsibilities tasked to her aren't particularly taxing or stressful, and the floor is close to her chosen place to pray, and in its own way, it's almost peaceful here. Even with the strange phenomenon that crop up from time to time, she often finds her mind wandering as she makes her way from grave to grave, absorbed in her thoughts as she works.]

[So, with her inattentiveness, and with Kirei kneeling and her truncated field of vision, it's no surprise that she doesn't see him until they're close, a row of headstones and a handful of meters away.]

[With nothing more than a tiny, sharp breath, she stiffens and goes still. After everything, she doesn't know if she can trust her sight, or trust him to be real, her expression guarded and her heart beating nervously in her chest as she watches him.]

Edited 2013-09-08 00:22 (UTC)

[ he shakes his head, then hesitates, uncertain if that's the entire truth. ]

S-Sort of, I suppose. [ he fidgets, gaze ducking, fingers fraying the edge of the bandage wrapped around his left hand. ] I've met people here who're nice, but I think it's just me from my world, maybe.

[ he glances back up again through his lashes, shy and certainly meek. ] Did-- you just get here, too?

[ His fingers reach out to touch worn stone. The graveyard is kept is varying conditions: some of the stones look new and polished, while the other have been left to decay. It's not as large as he expects it to be -- then again, it is impossible to imagine that all the world's lost souls could be honored in one place here. Perhaps like Genesis, the sin of the world amounted far too great, but not even a flood would cleanse it, so instead God responded with its complete destruction.

This thought is stalled, however, at that sharp intake of breath. It's a quiet sound, one most would never hear, but Kirei is a trained Executor of the Holy Church; he would be dead many times over if his senses were not alert.

But that doesn't account for the white noise which fills his skull when he rises to his feet and sets eyes upon his intruder.

That cannot be. ]

[For a moment, she does nothing but look at him as he looks back at her. She doesn't know what to do, so her actions automatically fall into the script they would follow if he were any other man. She takes a step backward and bows her head, as if to apologize for disturbing him. No apology comes from her mouth, though, and when she lifts her head again, her expression is plainly suspicious.]

[(Her movements are also plainly stronger than what he would be used to, but then again, maybe that's apparent just from the fact that she's standing here at all.)]

Are you...

[But she doesn't know what to ask him. She thinks about the phantom with his voice that had tailed her, and her heartbeat suddenly feels painful and unsteady. What can she ask him that will prove anything?]

Are you real?

[She blurts that out, and then she feels ridiculous, but what's done is done.]

[ The more the boy speaks, the more the likeness stands out to him, but Kirei is aware that it cannot be what he imagines. The years do not match in the slightest; Kariya Matou was a grown man when he took in his family's magic and poisoned his body. After all, there are many reasons for a child to be ill, or to have lost an eye. Was his wife not similarly injured? ]

Yes. I just arrived. [ He glances down at the boy's hand when he fidgets with his bandages. ] Have you injured yourself?

[ not that kariya's any sort of expert, himself, but he supposes he should probably give this priest the same sorts of warnings that sephiroth and others gave him. ] Um. Everyone tells me it's really dangerous here, so-- so you should be really careful. And-- this place is really, really big. And you might see people that look like people you know, but are different. [ a brief pause to make certain he has most everything--

but then he shakes his head. ] No.. [ he wiggles his fingers, poking at the injured palm beneath the bandages. ] A bug ate its way out. [ he says it matter-of-factly, of course, because to kariya, it's just a part of normal life for him. ] I was scared and it was protecting me, but it hurts when they do that..

[ Kirei stands in place as he watches her, his body still and motionless. She is the same, but she is also different. Even in her voice, there are changes: there isn't the same strain carrying with her words, which would always betray the amount of discomfort she was burdened with. Even beyond that, there is her stature, tall and strong, and how steady the movement of her body is. She doesn't stumble, nor require any aide to stand. She is very much alive.

Despite these differences, it is not his instinct to dismiss her as a false image. ]

I am.

[ Or he has every reason to believe so.

Yet, he begins to wonder: all that has happened coupled with where they are standing... a question forms in his mind, and he almost dismisses it because of her. However, despite her nature, despite how the saint within her soul, she committed one trespass which would not be so easily forgiven, even if it was for a noble cause. That is the only reason she would be sent down with a sinner. That is the only way that the two of them, so apart in what lies in the core of their hearts, could ever be in the same place again.

So, he asks it: ]

Is this hell?

[Waver wouldn't have been likely to recognize who was in his world Saber's Master; he had been secretive, and while he'd seen the King of Knights the lecturer had never been entirely sure who her Master had been.]

Are you lost?

[So the magus with sunglasses perched atop his head greeted Kotomine with a calm level of concern, wondering if the priest could have been a new arrival. He certainly seemed as much, wandering about the graveyard.]

[Now as ever, the lecturer's eyes drifted to a grave not far from where they stood--the one marked with 'Waver Velvet', marking the departure of his younger alternate self. Shrugging, he looked back to Kotomine.]

You certainly don't look miserable enough to be here for a reason.

Edited (shit that was vague sorry it is a bit late) 2013-09-08 01:14 (UTC)

[ As if prompted by Kirei's thoughts, the boy speaks in affirming the suspicion which brewed on his mind:

You might see people that look like people you know.

That could have been coincidence. If it is the truth of this place, then it may be nothing more than an essential forewarning that most were give -- but then the boy mentions a bug. Coincidence can only carry so far, and he wants to know for certain.

To encourage a response, Kirei gives a short bow and offers his own introduction first: ] My name is Kotomine Kirei. Would you tell me yours?

[Her immediate response to that question is to laugh, a short, strangled, hysterical sound. She reaches up to touch her throat, as though that will quiet the noise, but her lips stay pulled back in a strained, unhappy smile when she speaks again.]

It might be. [After everything, she can't dismiss the possibility in good conscience.] But I don't think it is. I've met good people here, and children. There are other things, too— It's horrible, but I don't think it's hell.

[She swallows, then, and looks him over. Through the fabric of her dress, the fingertips of her bandaged hand touch the cross hanging underneath. It's his cross, and that makes her eye flick to the one hanging around his neck. For a second, she feels so intensely uncomfortable it's hard to breathe, but—she needs to know if his memories matches up with hers, or someone else's, or nobody's at all.]

[She tries to study his hands from where she stands.]

[ kariya looks a little bit startled by the politeness, though he probably shouldn't be. people here are not at all like his family. they-- notice him and talk to him and treat him with terrifying kindness. he doesn't know how to respond to it, exactly.

still, he returns the bow, straightening, fingers curling in the hem of his shirt in a nervous gesture. ] It's nice to meet you, Kotomine-san. I'm Matou Kariya. Are-- Are you a priest?

[Sephiroth is a skilled fighter, but if he's outmatched, he can disengage from any battle without difficultly. Yet his magic does not provide him with every convenience. For instance, fighting is not clean, and he has no way to counter its inherent messiness, which is why he's currently covered in blood. It's soaked his clothes and is caked in his silver hair. He hadn't managed to avoid the arterial spray after killing his latest victim, and he's on his way back to the dorms to wash himself when he pauses at the sight of an unfamiliar man on a potentially dangerous floor.

Clearly, it is his duty to point out the possible pitfalls.]

Hello. The ground is treacherous here. There are many hidden pits, which can be fatal.

[ Kirei heard the man approaching before he spoke, and he slowly turned to face him. There are too many years apart for him to identify the man as the once young Master of Rider. ]

I would require a destination in order to be lost.

[ He stated this plainly, and his tone shifted slightly as he moved to ask: ] Do you have a reason for coming here?

[ He becomes vaguely aware of how he almost anticipates that answer, for the admission of sorrow that may come with it. ]

I wander by here now and then, myself. [The magus gave a noncommittal shrug rather than any dramatic declaration of misery. Things were as they were in the Tower, and there was little to be done about it. Dwelling on the situation and sobbing over the lost wouldn't do anything to help them.]

I prefer to remind myself of those that aren't here, rather than forget them.

[Kariya doesn't go to the meadow floor as often as he used to. It's more dangerous for him to travel alone now that he's missing an arm, and he wants to avoid using his worms, if at all possible. Lancelot could bring him, true, but he doesn't want to be carried around all the time. He likes to do things on his own. Some people have told him it might be easier if he were to die and get his arm back, but he promised Yotsuba he wouldn't die, and he hasn't. Promises are important.

He sits in the flowers, peacefully, resting, but when he sees someone else approaching, he glances up. Never having seen Kirei before, he doesn't recognize him. A--priest? He doesn't particularly care for religion, and he has an almost instinctive distrust of authority figures, but he wouldn't hold that against anyone. He raises his remaining hand in a little wave, glad enough to greet a new person.]

[ That laugh is not the response that he expects. Never in their short time together did she ever let such a choked, desperate sound escape her lips -- although given her condition, it would have been justified. Strangely, that change does not make him think of her as a fake; the differences make her appearance seem more real. A fake, whether a demon or illusion meant to snare him, would not be so harsh. It would likely imitate her softness and reassurance, to coax him towards her, would it not? ]

But I've died?

[ The words only barely edge from a statement to a question. He has no memory of death, and perhaps that is not surprising, but how else would he be standing here before her? The afterlife promises a healthy body, which would explain the strength in her limbs.

But then there's the despair in her voice.

He waits a moment longer before he takes a step towards her. ]

Have you?

[She picks up on that slight uncertainty in his tone, but she doesn't know what to make of it. Perhaps he's just confused about the situation. She might have been, if she had woken up here after death, and especially if she had come face-to-face with someone who should have been alive still.]

[She remains where she is as he steps toward her, neither backing away nor following suit. Part of her wants to go to him, to reach out for him, and yet—]

I...

[She remembers the voices of the shadows, and, suddenly, tumbling from her mouth come the words,] Do you hate me?

[She purses her lips together to keep them from trembling, but her eye still stings.]

[ Even if the appearance had been enough to betray him, it still comes with some level of a surprise to hear the name uttered. What does mean? Kirei debates should be spoken for a moment, and he decides not to speak of the War so suddenly, nor betray his knowledge of the boy's other self. ]

I am. [ That may perhaps put him further at ease. ] Would you tell me about your home?

[Irisviel had come to the graveyard on a mere as she made one last sweep of the tower before returning to her room for a bit of well deserved rest. She had expected to be alone in a place like this that was so steeped in death and decay.

She very soon proven wrong upon seeing the priest kneeling before a grave not far from her position. Remembering what had happened the last time they had met, Irisviel hides herself the best she can behind a nearby headstone, hoping with all her heart that she could avoid detection.]

[ When Kirei finds the elevator, he chooses to take it and selects a floor at a whim. When the doors open, what he sees is a very calm, open space -- the kind of thing which he knows to be 'beautiful' in an objective sense, while he personally remains unmoved.

The entire scene is made a contrast with the boy who appears before him, armed and bloody. Despite his apparent youth, and the mess he has made of himself, the boy appears utterly at ease. The tone he addresses Kirei in is perfectly calm, and his own is very much the same. ]

Hello. [ He looks the boy over, considering. Is he human? No ordinary child deals such damage without blinking -- Kirei had, many years ago, and he is not an ordinary man. Is this child so similar? ]

Are there other treacherous things? [ Since the ground certainly didn't cover him in that much blood. ]

How else could I join you?

[ But the fact that she questions his reply make him hesitate. How has she not drawn the same conclusion that he has? If he cannot recall dying himself, would she likewise not remember her own demis? She had been on her deathbed for quite some time; unless her entire memory has been misplaced... there is still a level to this encounter which does not seem possible, but she moves and speaks with a voice that is so familiar.

His approach stalls entirely when she speaks again, and he pauses. Claudia Hortensia, the saint, who gave her life in effort to spare Kirei Kotomine's, the sinner, expects herself to be hated by the man who was her husband? ]

Why would you ask me that?

[To Sephiroth, too, the scene does not appear beautiful, but he does not go so far as to think that others must find it such. He sees it as the setting of a potential battle, weighs its advantages and disadvantages. This would be a good floor for him to fight on. The pits are an advantage for him. Because of his magic and his teleportation, they pose a minimal danger to him, yet his enemies could be drawn or driven into them. The blood on him, likewise, doesn't matter to him, as it represents no strategic disadvantage, but it is simply hygienic to be clean, which is why he moves to remedy the matter.]

Yes. There are monsters on all the floors. They are especially numerous at night. [He adds the obvious, toneless:] I have been fighting them. There are none here now, but there might be soon.

[His eyes glow faintly, his pupils narrowed to slits, as they tend to be before and after he does battle.]

[Join you. She knew that was a possibility, but, stupidly, those words still make her feel as though the ground has been yanked out from underneath her.]

[She laughs out another broken sound.]

Because— I—

[Her voice trembles as she forces out each syllable, the effort needed to keep her words intelligible apparent. But, even in spite of that effort—she starts to cry, too weak to so much as face him now. She bows her head, and her voice breaks entirely when she starts again, her answer a plea and a confession.]

I'm not that woman. I'm not your wife. I don't deserve to be... I never deserved to be— I wasn't—strong enough to do what she did...

[It's not a very coherent explanation, but it's all she can manage, her voice hitching and sobbing as she speaks.]

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To see a world in a grain of sand

idk random hallway exxie is lazy news at eleven

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floor 48

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floor 48

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floor 61; also this is gratuitous; warning for blood

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meadow floor (25) because it's pretty

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Graveyard

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