It was too tempting to resist, the escape that the jacket draped over his head provided in the darkness. Focused only on his breathing and the sharp throbbing -though the latter was somewhat background noise- of his not even half-stitched up arm which still rested defiantly parallel along Sephiroth's thigh despite how easy it would be to let it slip. As if too heavy to will any movement out of it at all. Between his nausea and desperate need for escape, thoughts were quick to wander away from his current situation. Away from the thick coppery smell which threatened to encroach on the cocoon of sweeter smells, away from the not-so giving mattress he was sat on, away from the intensity of the eyes the other side of the fabric which, if he thought about it specifically, Sephiroth could even see in his minds eye.
As far away as possible from the events that had put him in this wretched mindset. This self-pity that he loathed about himself and yet at the same time couldn't yet let go of. The failure ever present in the back of his mind and the overwhelming sense of guilt that he felt for being unable to follow it through. He'd failed her again, and was having trouble accepting that and moving on; time was short for them now and he'd not get another chance to take the Destiny that Mother had laid out for him. To let it go, had an air of finality about it. That she was truly dead and he was left, for the first time, completely alone and hollow without a purpose. No Planet to rule from inside a wire-frame cage, no prospects to obtain for himself a new one from in here.
Sephiroth grunted as he thought he sensed motion on the other side of the curtain. The darkness faded away inside some, as someone thought to intrude his quiet space, though his eyes had focused on staring at some point on the floor below, flicking around and around on the same part of the space down on the ground while his thoughts raced. Shoulders raised back a little away from where Elena peered in, but the tension that then ran through arms spiked at the new stitching and ripped him back into the Infirmary; for a moment Sephiroth reeled from the nausea again, as he parted lips and moistened them.
Sniff
Finally he looked up and through a frame of silver locks directly at the face peering in at him, the concern picked up instantly in a moment of sharpened clarity that might as well have been a shot of light connecting dots of previous traumas, that he had taken months to bury before. Elena felt sorry for him, and it burned along all the bits of his shattered ego. Something hot and wet dripped from the edge of his nose, but, as if to demonstrate that proud defiant soul was still in there he instantly raised his good arm to wipe that traitorous tear away. Words, a few strong, assertive words right now would dismiss that which she could not have seen.
"Let's get this over with, can't be sat here all night."
It sounded more than half-convincing as Sephiroth forced another throbbing lump of acid back down, and moved to shrug the rest of the jacket away - ignoring completely the way the Infirmary was starting to sway around him. A combination of exhaustion from days of not sleeping, and the returning realization to his system of the bloodloss he'd incurred so far, and the fact that he all of a sudden had to return to fight the unconsciousness from taking him so that Elena could finish her work.
no subject
As far away as possible from the events that had put him in this wretched mindset. This self-pity that he loathed about himself and yet at the same time couldn't yet let go of. The failure ever present in the back of his mind and the overwhelming sense of guilt that he felt for being unable to follow it through. He'd failed her again, and was having trouble accepting that and moving on; time was short for them now and he'd not get another chance to take the Destiny that Mother had laid out for him. To let it go, had an air of finality about it. That she was truly dead and he was left, for the first time, completely alone and hollow without a purpose. No Planet to rule from inside a wire-frame cage, no prospects to obtain for himself a new one from in here.
Sephiroth grunted as he thought he sensed motion on the other side of the curtain. The darkness faded away inside some, as someone thought to intrude his quiet space, though his eyes had focused on staring at some point on the floor below, flicking around and around on the same part of the space down on the ground while his thoughts raced. Shoulders raised back a little away from where Elena peered in, but the tension that then ran through arms spiked at the new stitching and ripped him back into the Infirmary; for a moment Sephiroth reeled from the nausea again, as he parted lips and moistened them.
Sniff
Finally he looked up and through a frame of silver locks directly at the face peering in at him, the concern picked up instantly in a moment of sharpened clarity that might as well have been a shot of light connecting dots of previous traumas, that he had taken months to bury before. Elena felt sorry for him, and it burned along all the bits of his shattered ego. Something hot and wet dripped from the edge of his nose, but, as if to demonstrate that proud defiant soul was still in there he instantly raised his good arm to wipe that traitorous tear away. Words, a few strong, assertive words right now would dismiss that which she could not have seen.
"Let's get this over with, can't be sat here all night."
It sounded more than half-convincing as Sephiroth forced another throbbing lump of acid back down, and moved to shrug the rest of the jacket away - ignoring completely the way the Infirmary was starting to sway around him. A combination of exhaustion from days of not sleeping, and the returning realization to his system of the bloodloss he'd incurred so far, and the fact that he all of a sudden had to return to fight the unconsciousness from taking him so that Elena could finish her work.