(no subject)

[mutab1e]

Characters: AU Equius and you!
Setting: That little kitchen at the back of the cafeteria.
Format: Either.
Summary: Equius has a bizarre form of therapy. But, hey, whatever works...
Warnings: DELICIOUSNESS

[So, Tower. Last night, the boys in Room 1-20 may have noticed a lump under the covers of one of the previously-unoccupied beds. It may have looked like it was shaking. In reality, it was more than just a lump; it was this loser, hiding from A. the indigo-blood sleeping in the adjacent bed and B. everyone else. The lump didn't seem to respond to very much prompting.]

[In the morning, however, he finally gathered the courage to look around the tower, and soon found out that this place had a kitchen. So guess where he's going to be for the rest of the day? Yeah, there, cooking whatever he can think of, using ingredients that he may have noticed were sitting around, as well as a few from home, because seriously, there was no grubsauce in this pantry. None. So, he's been at it for a while now, and anyone walking past the door to the kitchen come lunchtime will smell what is undeniably a big pan of cooking grubloaf -- proper grubloaf, mind you, not like that brownblood makes it.]

[Oh, also he might be making some cookies later. So you should stick around for that.]

Comments

[creme_master]

[Fran being Fran, with his lack of personal space and pushiness in the kitchen, is suddenly behind this poor former bed-lump. No really, the bastard might be flamboyant eight days a week but he's a ninja in disguise, just you see (or don't, because ninja, remember?). EITHER WAY, he's wrinkling his nose at said pan with grubloaf.]

Merde-- what is that?

[mutab1e]

[So Equius basically jumps a foot in the air and turns around to apo-- oh, wait, just a human. Well that's... slightly better, he supposes. He takes a moment to 'compose' himself, and then speaks, only occasionally glancing down at the lump of meat and green specks.]

...It's a grubloaf, though it's not done cooking.

[creme_master]

[The prettiest human you will lay eyes on a'thank you. Don't take it as rude that he's side-eyeing the thing with uh. Specks. Green specks. FRAN CAN LIE TO HIMSELF AND SAY THAT IT'S CILANTRO.]

Grub... as in the insects?

[Bro, he's cool with eating weird things and all-- I mean snails and fatty livers and fish eggs are all oddball to some but. The cilantro is moving-- or so he's convinced himself.]

jhjkgf cilantro <3 I love you, France

[mutab1e]

No, grub as in young trolls. [...What are insects?]

[This particular grub had been a jadeblood once, which was why he didn't just mash it up; those types are pretty rare, but they taste much better than the more common varieties. Salty, and oddly a bit sour -- you have to know how to cook jade grubs, or else they're disgusting, but if you do? Fantastic.]

[Yeah, basically the troll race is a bunch of cannibals.]

[verymuchalive]

[Aradia smells that grubloaf and she is immediately hungry, because damn she can't remember the last time she ate something from home. She lets the smell draw her to the kitchen and then stops.

And stares.

He sort-of looks like Equius. Except Equius didn't bake; if he tried the whole kitchen would be a wreck. So an alternate, maybe?

Curiosity gets the better of her]

That smells good.

[mutab1e]

[Oh well-- uh. Hrm. That troll... she was wearing the same outfit that the brownblood had... and she looked just like Aradia. But the lipstick and eyeliner she was wearing was very clearly rusty red! (Then again, so was her outfit, which wouldn't reflect her blood, if Serket's instance could be trusted.) If she was wearing it at all -- and if she had those wings -- that would mean she was in Sgrub as well, right? But how could that be?

...You know what, his head hurts and the grubloaf needs to be taken out for seasoning, so he's just going to. Give her the time of day. If she's a highblood and he treats her badly, he'd be screwed. So Equius will respond as he reaches for something on a shelf and covers the half-done grubloaf generously with it.]

...Thank you.

[verymuchalive]

[Fortunately for Equius, in so far as anything about this encounter could be called fortunate, Aradia is used to him being awkward around her. As such, she opts for something of a safe(r) topic]

I...don't think I've seen you here before. Did you just get here?

[mutab1e]

Yes. [There, done. He looks it over one more time, throws it back in the oven, and finally turns around proper to look at Aradia. Er... yeah, he still has no idea what her blood color is. Dammit. So many conflicting signals.]

You've been here a while, then?

[toy_souldier]

[Have a midget who knows nothing about cooking despite being (partially) raised by a food aficiando. Hungry, but having slept through breakfast and it being too early for lunch service to start, Vivi finds himself int he kitchens, in hopes of scrounging together something to eat!

He spots Equius and blinks, wandering over to where the troll is cooking and tries to peer into the pan, standing on tiptoes to see.]

W-what're you making?

[mutab1e]

[What even... is that thing... Not a troll, since it doesn't know what grubloaf is, but...]

...It's called grubloaf, though it's being a bit difficult at present. [C'mon, seriously, cook already. The meat here is terrible.]

[toy_souldier]

[Blinks up at.] Grub... loaf?

So... it's bread made out of grubs? Do grubs taste good??

[He's never had meatloaf, HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING]

[mutab1e]

[NEVER HAD MEATLOAF?! WHAT KIND OF AN IMBECILE RAISED THIS BOY--]

It depends on the blood color, but yes, most of them do.

[tortileghostwriter]

[...another one from home, from the looks of it. well, misery loves company...

just going to lean up against the wall until Equius notices. Besides, the smell is nice.]

[mutab1e]

[And Equius is just going to completely miss David until he actually has to turn around and get something from the other side of the room--oh. Check it out. Another human, but he actually knows this one, so ok.]

...Can I help you?

[tortileghostwriter]

Simply watching you at work. My own culinary prowess is little to none, and the aroma is rather pleasant.

I take it, then, that you've just arrived, Zahhak?

that is the best icon on the planet, jussayin

[mutab1e]

That's right. Very recently.

[David Lalonde... always a weird guy, even by human standards. Who else -- heck, who period -- would care enough to sit in the corner of his kitchen and watch? The idea is faintly baffling.]

[chronomancer]

[...he just wanted a waffle. That's all. He liked waffles. They looked funny and he wasn't sure what they were made of, but they tasted nice. All Eridan wanted for breakfast was a waffle.

And then there was Equius in a corner, and he couldn't but stare in fascination for a long time, before he cleared his throat. Screw it, let's get this done:]

...Equius.

[mutab1e]

[Waffles at this hour? For shame, Eridan. For shame.]

[But when someone cleared their throat, obviously meaning to address him, Equius did turn around and -- lo and behold! It's someone he can actually recognize! Who isn't Feferi, meep.]

...Eridan?

[chronomancer]

[He slouches a bit and offers a small, wry smile.]

Hi.

[gloomyapoplectic]

[So she's basically terrified for her life right now and the only reason she even dared venture out of her room was to find others -- Terezi in particular -- and warn them about the psycho that was now in the tower. She isn't quite sure how she ended up all the way down here, but she did.

For once she looks mostly uninjured save a few places that scarred. She does, however, look extremely tired, and frankly her paranoia is visible.

The smell of grubloaf gives her a painful stab of nostalgia, but also a realization: she knows that smell, and even if it's too...perfect to be Vriska's...]

Equius?

[mutab1e]

[He knows that voice, and he slowly turns around, looking extremely unimpressed. He had been hoping to avoid...]

...Maryam.

[gloomyapoplectic]

[She's not really happy to see him, exactly, he's a total bulgelicker and stuck up, and she doesn't like him but he deserves to know--]

Feferi is here.

[Which may not even make any sense to him. She doesn't know when on the timeline he was pulled from. But even though he's insufferable, he's not the worst guy around, and he deserves to know if he's going to be hunted with horrorterror flames and culling forks.]

[empurress]

*It may be a new and unfamiliar place, but Nepeta's nose is a keen one. And that's grubloaf she smells.

Familiar grubloaf.

And sure enough, when she follows her nose and peeks inside, that's a familiar silhouette, and her vascular sac leaps. Her arrival in this place had been strange and confusing, so the presence of her meowrail is a welcome one indeed.

But he doesn't see her. And his back is turned. And the empurress-to-be can't quite help the urge to sink low to the ground, slinking behind a table and chair and being as silent as she can.

Do you hear that, Equius? That's nothing. That isn't a little growl you just heard; you're hearing things.*

[mutab1e]

[Your stealth is immaculate as always, Empurress.]

[In all seriousness, though, it seems as if Equius really has not noticed you coming, Nepeta! Or maybe he did and he's just not saying anything... yeah, no, probably the first one. He's been at it for a while now with relatively few problems, so he's starting to feel a bit less "AHH WHAT IS THAT NOISE" -- a very bad position for prey to be in, when you think about it, but Equius isn't presently aware that he is prey.]

[He opens the oven briefly to take a look at the state of the grubloaf, then shuts it again, leaving the pan in there. A bit longer. Right now, he has nothing to do but wait.]

[empurress]

*And that's unmistakably a giggle now, coming from - where? Somewhere? Who knows! - followed by another little growl...

...and as soon as Nepeta is satisfied that he isn't holding anything that needs to be cooked (or that's scalding hot), the dread empurress pounces!!

PREPARE TO BE CULLED, EQUIUS.

THIS IS A MOST VICIOUS CULLING.*