I've come undone

[uprisings]

Characters: Summoner and Handmaid
Setting: Floor 25
Format: Action
Summary: Summoner is a mess. Handmaid sucks at stealth
Warnings: sad aliens

[He has always been partial to the sunlight, what little of it he could get in the dusk and the dawn. There is something about the light and the gentle warmth of it that has appealed to him, especially during the seasons when the night air bit at him like it wanted to take him apart. When he was very, very young, he used to test himself, stay out and watch the sun come up until his skin burned and his lusus called him back to his recuperacoon]

[So it is probably not especially surprising that he has come to appreciate the spring sun on the twenty-fifth floor. And never has he appreciated it more then right now, the careful prickling heat making days old bruises ache in the best way. The uncomfortable and constant pulse in his torn wings slows faintly, lets him focus on other things. He moves for the sake of moving, sliding through sword forms even without a sword because muscle memory is easier then thinking about… well… anything else honestly. These past few days have been quite awful! He figures probably he can leave those particular memories alone for a little while longer. This is easier]

[At least until the ache catches up to him again, and he lets himself slow… then stop entirely, wiping sweat off his cheeks and… staring at his palm for a long moment. He’s tired. Kind of bone deep tired. Sleeping hasn’t been helping, and he should know, seeing how that’s been what he’s been doing for days now. There are other things in there, of course, besides the tiredness. Anger and frustration and curiosity. The kind of things that have made him restless finally, and drawn him to this room]

[He wants to fly, to clear his head, but he can’t. Not with his wings still healing, and not quite able to fold properly anymore. So instead he settles under a tree, and goes through the long, practiced routine of undoing the clasps and buttons that hold his shirt on. He is thankful for being alone, thankful that humans are apparently day walkers and don’t come around much at night, as he draws his shirt off finally, and folds it next to his knee. He is still marked of course, ugly brown bruises standing out along his side and his shoulder, and he touches them just briefly, just enough to make them sting, before… just… folding forward, stretching out over his crossed legs, pressing his forehead against the cool grass. His wings fan out around him, uncovering the old scars the crisscross his back, and once again he is thankful for being alone. He has never liked answering questions about them, and honestly the silence is nice, the cool air he moves around himself is nice. For a moment, he is… not happy exactly, but at least he’s letting himself relax…]

Comments

[uprisings]

[It does matter Coleta!!! If you weren't in control of yourself, he can't really be mad can he? But... well... that reaction speaks volumes honestly, and while he STILL WON'T GO OVER THERE TRUST IS HARD he at least. Believes her mostly]

Did you. Mean to do it...? [Which is sort of a blunt, stupid question, since of course she'll say no if she means to trick him. But hell, he might as well ask. Can't hurt, right?]

[entropied]

[That gets her to raise her head again, and she honestly looks horrified.]

No.

[Never. She would never, ever want to hurt him.]

[uprisings]

[AH WELL. It is sort of hard to pretend at horror like that. She looks... guh, raw. Too emotional for him not to believe her. He wants so much to believe her, but the dull pulse in his wings makes him so so hesitant... His voice is terribly quiet all of a sudden]

I'm sorry... [...lksjdlfkjsdf]

[entropied]

[And now she just looks utterly confused.]

What?

[Why the hell is he apologizing to her?]

[uprisings]

[HE'S APOLOGIZING FOR A LOT OF THINGS OKAY. Namely the fact that he lost his shit at her, but also because he can't make himself trust her just yet... Sighs and shakes his head just slightly]

What happened...? It shouldn't, have. [Maybe he is also apologizing because he said he'd look out for her and now she's here, slumped over and guilty. And he feels like that's his fault too]

[entropied]

[Her voice is softer now.]

I hurt you.

[It's pretty clear she means that this is completely her fault.]

[uprisings]

[...yeah. Yeah you really did. But at least]

You didn't mean to...

[entropied]

It doesn't matter.

[God, his poor wings... She wonders if there's any possible way she can make him understand how sorry she is, or if there's even any point.]

[uprisings]

[Okay. Eyes on her again, studying her for... a long moment before he says anything]

Why not?

[entropied]

[She doesn't even bother answering that, just looks down again.]

[uprisings]

[NUP]

Coleta. [Insistent!] Why, doesn't it matter? If you, did not mean to... attack me, then there is no reason, for me to be angry. At you. [Because well, there's lots of reason to be angry, just... not really at her!!!]

[entropied]

[Her voice is suddenly more intense, much more angry. She is absolutely furious with herself. How could that possibly be a reason for him not to be upset with her?]

Because the outcome was still the same.

[uprisings]

[hhhh... oh Handmaid. Raises a hand. Calm down Coleta, really]

Intention is important. I have been, hurt worse then this before. I will be, fine eventually.

[entropied]

[Ugggh. That's not the point, Summoner-chan! She shakes her head, burying her face in her hands again.]

[uprisings]

[KJSDLFJSKLDF THEN WHAT IS THE POINT )8 It seems so easy to him. He's really... confused honestly, so he's silent for a long moment.... And then he clears his throat. He really can't stand to see her like that...]

Come here.

[entropied]

[Part of her really... Doesn't want to? But she crosses the room and sits down in front of him anyway. It's something, even if she still won't meet his eyes.]

[uprisings]

[Watches her cross, and he just... sort of stares at her for a second? Looking over what he can see of her face and her hair and the... really unfortunate state of her. Had she gotten into another fight...? The wounds are in awfully familiar places, but... it can't be? He killed her, he knows he did...]

[...so he pushes that out of his mind, instead reaching over to take her wrists into his hands. Doesn't say anything, just... holding on for now. It's okay, my dear, it's really okay]

[entropied]

[She flinches, partially out of pure instinct and partially because everything hurts. But then she lets out a breath and forces herself to glance up at him.]

I'm sorry.

[Repeating herself, but she feels the need to.]

[uprisings]

Stop.

[Said very softly as he rubs the pad of his thumbs against her skin]

Have you been to the infirmary?

[entropied]

[Frowning!]

No. Have you?

[uprisings]

[lksjdf looks away for the first time. It's a minor sign of trust!!! But he just... lkjsdf doesn't like her frowning at him. Makes him feel guilty EHEH]

I just need some time. You, look like you're still hurt.

[entropied]

[She squeezes his hand with her uninjured one a little shyly.]

So do you.

[uprisings]

[...lkjsdf his wings shift open again, resettling, and he has to sit up a little straighter for the uncomfortable twinge that sends down his back]

Not, like you are. [HE'S ONLY BRUISED OKAY!!!]

[entropied]

[She shakes her head stubbornly.]

I... Ruined your wings.

[uprisings]

[...okay. Long pause here. Because yes she did and yes he is really really upset about it, but he... can't blame her if she didn't intend to hurt him, so he's sort of left with this directionless Upset Feeling that he doesn't know what to do with]

[But eventually he looks at her again, a little mellowed out for having been reminded]

They'll heal.