towerofanimus | the rain will be gone in the morning...

Entry tags:

the rain will be gone in the morning...

Characters: Ken Amada and open.
Setting: Floor Fourteen
Format: Action.
Summary: After running into Shinjiro Ken is… conflicted. He needs some space. But that doesn't mean that other people can't bother him.
Warnings: Mentions of death, swearing. Strega which is its own warning.

[Shit. He couldn't do anything. He had run into him, and he hadn't been able to kill him - and how was he able to change Personas like that, anyway? The only person he know of who could was Minato - well, and the leader of SEES, too. Ken wandered for a while, before he ended up on the fourteenth floor.]

[Ken sits down in front of the consoles that has some kind of fighting game. He starts messing around with the controller - he's not particularly good, but it's at least something to get frustrated at besides this fucked-up situation with Shinjiro.]

[And it's something to take his mind off of it for a little bit, too… which hopefully is enough to make him not cry.]

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[His hands ball into fists that get tighter the longer Minato talks. He knows it's true, he knows she won't be back, and he knows that killing him won't bring her back. And that he can't just run away.]

[… But he doesn't know what else to do. And to be honest he's… scared. Too scared. He doesn't want to admit it, but he is.]

But… I… what else am I supposed to do? I don't know… how to find a reason like that. I don't know… I don't even see a future for me. I… I don't…

[And he can't talk anymore, his throat closing up. He pulls his knees into his chest and puts his head down, starting to cry. After a few moments he starts sobbing, and he can't stop. He doesn't know what to do. It hurts and he's lost and he's terrified and he can't see any way out.]

[ ... He's sorry, Ken, but... you're getting a hug whether you want it or not, though it's gentle and non-invasive and he's merely putting an arm around the boy.

It's almost brotherly, and when the boy cries, he just... lets him. Lets him cry as long as he needs to. ]

... You might not. You might not for awhile, but that doesn't mean that future isn't there. It's okay to be lost. It's okay to be afraid. You don't need to be tough all the time, Ken...

[ Honest. His voice isn't derogatory or demanding, simply calm, in comparison, as it has been the entire time. Steady and knowing, despite all of this. He only hopes Ken doesn't mind the fact he's holding him because he really cannot bear to see him so alone. ]

[He leans against Minato and after a little bit the crying dies down and then stops. He takes a few deep breaths, eyes a little red and puffy.]

I don't know what to do anymore. I can't just let go of things that happened that easily. I can't... I don't want to see him. Out of everyone to come here, why couldn't it have been... Koromaru or something.

[ He holds Ken the entire time, not letting go, and strokes his hair as the boy finally speaks. ]

... I know. But maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe it's time you found the Answer to what it means to live.

Maybe... and don't blow me off, okay? Maybe he's here because you two need to make amends. Yes, I know, you hate him and I can't picture it, but...

[ Maybe, just maybe, this was the reason for all this. ]

... Besides. We need you, Ken. We need your strength. You're like family to us... we want you to live and be happy. Something... we could never have. We've always had to make our happiness. You may need to do that, too, because it won't get easier.

[He huffs in slight irritation, but nods a little.]

... I'm scared of being alone, though. When you guys are gone... I'll be alone. I know we're not supposed to be scared of death, but I can't help it. I don't want any of you to leave. I can't bear losing any of you...

[ ... He does frown just slightly, here. ]

You want to know something? ... I think we all are.

[ He closes his eyes, here. He won't let go of Ken unless he asks, and he's not being particularly harsh. His voice is even, as comforting as he can make it. ]

If we've got limited time, to me, then... maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Some people can waste their whole life not knowing what they want to do, or realizing what's important. To me, that's all the more reason to live your life to the fullest you can.

[ He is silent for a minute, here, thinking over what to say next. ]

... And, I think that's what your mother would want you to do, too, Ken-kun. The future's not written in stone. We don't know what might happen, so we can only take it one day at a time. Worrying about it unnecessarily... about what you can't change isn't going to help. We need to channel that energy into just... doing everything we can now. Right?

... Yeah. We need to find a way to get out of here first, right? It's not like I can get started with the rest of my life or anything before we leave.

[He sighs and pulls away a little. Okay, okay. Too much clinging.]

[ It's okay, Ken. You know he'll always abide by what you want when it comes to personal space, right? c: So he'll just remain a little more distanced this time, but he'll stay sitting next to you. ]

... Maybe not, but there is something I've been thinking about for awhile, here. If we're just going to come back to life here... is it the real thing? I mean, I've... seen people die several times here and come back, every time, unharmed.

[ But would their condition continue to deteriorate, was the question. ]

I... I don't know. When I died here... it was painful and strange, but it's not like I have anything to compare it to.

... I'm actually wondering about that. I mean, if we just come back every time we die anyway, then I'm not entirely sure what will happen with Chidori, Jin, and I.

[ It's the truth. There's a chance they might just... be okay, if they're here for long enough. Minato knows that his Persona is particularly more volatile than the others, and that he had... only so long, really. ]

... You'll all be okay. You all deserve to be okay.

... Ken.

[ Hey, he just... wants him to know this. ]

We will be. I mean that. So, just... think about what I'm asking here, all right? If going after Aragaki will fix anything. That's all I'm asking. Just... to think about yourself, and maybe letting that go if you can.

Maybe not now, or any time soon. I just don't want to see you end up like me.

[ He's going to move to get up now, because he knows Ken might want some space. ]

... I don't know. I'll see what I can do.

[It's hard to give up grudges. He can't do that so easily.]

But... I want to be like you. You're like an older brother to me...

[He knows what you mean, but.]

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the rain will be gone in the morning...

;w; He doesn't know what to dooooo.

WELL FUCK THE POLICE he is getting a hug--

WEHH. ;w;

(COZIES!!!!!)

Wehh so cute...

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