towerofanimus | All you can do is try to know who your friends are

Entry tags:

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

Characters: Xion (

attheclocktower) and Yu Narukami (

pitiedthefool), also Xion and Sora (

derping)
Setting: Floor 13, Floor 20
Format: Brackets, though knowing me probably tl;dr-y brackets
Summary: Someone got very angry and ran her mouth in multiple ways during that discussion over the network with Jason, now a certain friend is coming to talk to her about a certain bombshell she unintentionally dropped
Warnings: Angst, mentions of death (sort of), also SOCIAL LINKS

[For Yu]

[It takes Xion all of two minutes to realize what she had said over the network, and how she'd completely forgotten - in her anger and frustration - to filter it. She can only hope that nobody saw. That they wouldn't pay attention, especially not her friends and especially not certain people from her own world. That was the last thing she needed, for someone like Sora to find out what was going to happen to her, and everything tied up in that. Because if there was one thing Sora didn't need to know about, it was that. Not what was going to happen to her. Not that she wanted anybody else who didn't already know, though.

She doesn't want to take chances though, and does not want to be found. The library is too obvious, and too close to where she'd been speaking on the terminal. Her bedroom, too, is out, for similar reasons. She isn't really aware of a lot of great places to hide in the Tower, so she just ends up running up the stairs, looking at floors until she finds something that looks promising.

In the end, it's on Floor 13 that she stops. The room is quiet as she enters - not even the usual murmuring sound she'd heard sometimes when she'd come here in the past. Sound in general is deadened, she can scarcely hear her own footsteps as she walks between the pews. It really feels like if she could just find a spot to curl up, unseen, she could just stay here, and think, and not be found, because this wasn't one of the floors she'd usually come to, anyways. In the end she sits down on a pew on the side of the room, lays down on her side and curls up as best she can against the uncomfortable wooden seating. From this position, she's sufficiently hidden from the main entrance to the room, though not if someone were to walk down the aisles. But the room was deserted, so that wouldn't be a problem, would it? Not to mention the quiet was helping her think...

There's a certain element that stings, to what Jason said to her. About how "ungrateful" she was being. After all that's happened, after seeing Riku and Namine and Sora all dying or dead, knowing people were hurt by this Tower so many times... She doesn't want to feel indebted to it.

And yet... she is.

She doesn't count the days like Roxas did, and yet she knows that by this time... if she were back in their worlds, she would be gone, would have gone back to Sora, would have been forgotten by everyone. Never mind that she would never have gotten the chance to meet so many people... Reno and Link and Ven and Shion and Yu...

...and Sora...

She owes this place and she hates it.

She chokes on a sob, curling up more tightly and burying her forehead in her knees.]

[For Sora]

[It's the first time she's been on Floor 20 for longer than a few seconds since she was found there. For her though... it's more the associated memories that kept her from here. Maybe she would have gone down to Floor 11, but that meant going downstairs, and in the end she just wanted to keep making progress upwards, towards her room where she could eventually pretend that nobody else was there.

It's still familiar, though after hearing about what happened to Fey... she's sitting, but nowhere near the edge. And nowhere near the ramp leading higher up the Tower.]

[[ooc; And lets's get some theme music up in here]]

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[Unfortunately, at least one person had heard it. And, while he and Death don't get along very well, there was a deep pain he could sense in Xion's words over the network. A part of him first he'd thought that it was only because of this spark Izanami had once ignited within his soul that attracted others to him, but now he realized it: it was just a part of who he was. The desire to help those who were suffering in their own pain. Whether silent or otherwise.

So he made his way down the tower, trying to find her as he did so. It probably gave her a little time as well--to think and calm down--as it did for him to wonder just how much their worlds were different. "Didn't have much time left"... What was about to happen for her when they'd "saved" her?

Not like he wasn't having a strange case of deja-vu because of this, either. Their actions were beginning to remind him of Namatame-san.

Eventually he finds his way to the 13th floor, not seeing her at first. In fact, he almost turned away when something black and shiny caught his attention. Upon turning to look again, he noticed Xion sitting there in a pew, sobbing.

Even with the natural silencing nature of this floor, he made certain to be quiet as he approached, not wanting to scare her off. She was hurting right now, and he only wanted to help--offer a listening ear or, in this place, a silent comfort.

He sat down nearby, waiting, and eventually placing a hand on Xion's shoulder.]

[Xion jumps at the hand on her shoulder, and tenses, some part of her panicking. She hadn't heard anybody get close, hadn't even felt them sit down. She looks around and up, eyes wide and afraid, until she spots who it is.

Upon catching sight of Yu, her posture eases, the fear diminishing though not quite vanishing from her expression. She had a feeling she knew why he was here, after all. It'd be too much to hope for that he hadn't seen what she'd said, across the network.

Still, at that touch, that bit of comfort she'd never really allowed herself - that she'd never really thought she'd deserved - she curls up again, a little more tightly, burying her face in her knees as her shoulders shook with renewed sobs.

At the same time, she doesn't shrug off his hand.

It's several minutes before the shaking eases, and eventually she looks up, wipes her eyes, and pushes herself into a more upright position.]

Thanks.

[Wait... she could barely hear that, because of the room]

Thanks... For doing... You didn't have to...

[And her voice is fading back into obscurity again.]

[He kind of figured that she would freak out--because not going to lie, he probably would have too with the room naturally being quiet. Still, he didn't remove his hand as the realization struck.

Yes, he'd seen it. If he knew the reason for why her time was so short though- If Sora discovered the truth, he would empathize greatly with his keyboarding student. So many had sacrificed things for him to be where he is now. One giving up his life, others giving up their memories for the sake of remaking the world he'd grown up in to later protect with his own and his teams lives on the line...

He has a deep respect for those who lay it all down in some way, but for now, he is unaware. Instead he only keeps the hand on his hurting friend's back. Yu nods, a faint hint of a smile crossing his lips at the work of the gratitude.]

I wanted to.

[Even if his voice is quiet in this room, it's hard to miss the deep tone to it- or the sincerity. Being there. That's what friends are for.]

[Maybe it was selfish of her, but she really didn't want to lay it all down. She didn't want to die, didn't want to no longer be able to live and breathe, feel the evening sun of Twilight Town on her face, taste the salty-but-sweet tang of sea-salt ice cream...

She didn't want to lose the little she had. Not human. Not even a nobody.

She isn't aware of the full reason she gives herself up. She doesn't know about Roxas, of how she's taking too much of his powers and slowly eating him alive. All she knows about is Sora, the memories inside of her, and the decision she was being presented with... and the knowledge of the decision she eventually made. But she knows about Sora, and now that she's met him, now that she's seen what an incredible person he really is...

It hurts, but she can't leave him like he is. Asleep, never able to wake up...

At Yu's words, she looks up, an odd emotion in her eyes, a question half-formed in her mouth - why? Why does he care? The only ones who ever cared enough to go looking for her, to ask about her when she was upset were Roxas, Axel, Riku, and Sora, her fr-

"I see you as a friend, so when you are ready, I won't mind listening."

Her friends.

She looks down at her knees, her voice quiet as she speaks.]

You saw what I said?

[He probably wouldn't be here if he hadn't, but... it coudln't hurt to be sure.]

[Who would want to die? Maybe it was selfish of him, saving all the people he could, but he didn't see survival as being selfish in the least. But then, he didn't know the full story either. Thus his silence as he listened, waited for an explanation he'd probably never get. But that was fine! Everything happens in it's own time.

He only hopes that she doesn't hurt even more before things come to light...

Yu tilts his head to the side at the look she gives him for a brief moment, concerned. Was it something he said?

The question certainly did answer the one that came to mind, and he nods in response.]

Some of it. [He pauses, feeling like he should explain further.] I was taking notes on what all was being said when I came across it.

I'm sorry.

[She shakes her head.]

I shouldn't have said it.

[She'd lost her temper. Not considered the fact that her network post was open and unlocked. Said things she shouldn't have, and now she had friends worrying about her, ones she'd never planned on knowing this at all. Hadn't wanted to burden them, hadn't wanted the questions... She'd messed up in a lot of ways with that slip-up.

He didn't need to be sorry about something that wasn't his fault.

Maybe she shouldn't say anything further, stop digging herself into a deeper hole than she was already in, that she'd dropped Yu in without meaning to, but... It's his very silence, his not demanding or pushing to know that somehow makes this easier to talk about, all of a sudden.]

If I were back on my... back home, right now... [She didn't really have a world she called her own, after all] I wouldn't exist anymore.

[She'd outlived herself. And that's a pretty harsh realization in many respects.]

[He isn't here to judge her for what she did or said with a short fuse burnt out. Most of them had been through hell the last month, and it was all plain to see in their eyes. It's part of the reason he hasn't gone after his own killer, yet. Things were so messed up, there wasn't much of a way to avoid short tempers and snapping if someone wasn't willing to help shoulder the burdens everyone else was going through.

That is why he was here; to help her face the hardships that the cards dealt her ~~hush, you~~. It's who he is, who he was, and who he'll always be deep down. Someone willing to help shine a beacon of hope amidst the foggy night. No matter how hard the shadows and faces inside try to take that away.

The silence continues until Xion speaks again, and even a little longer as the truth she decided to reveal sinks in. She would be gone... wouldn't exist to say a single thing anymore, or to laugh with her friends...

Wasn't that what he and his friends had fought so hard like morons to achieve for all of humanity? ... Whatever the price, no matter how deep the hole, he'd always fall in to help pull a friend out.]

You aren't alone.

[Not him, but his roommate... Minato doesn't exist by the time he accepted his own calling to lead others. He doesn't know all the details, but... what he does know is that had he not faced Adachi... he wouldn't exist anymore, either. He'd barely avoided that fate.

Reality never was fair, always so harsh... but he'd accepted it and fought it at the same time. Hopefully all Jason said was a lie. There's also a silent offer of a hug, because she looks like she needs one. Yu's just blocked by his own country's customs to actually initiate it.]

[Xion doesn't quite get the full implication of his words, and it's probably just as well. This isn't the kind of situation she would want to share with anybody. She'd feel awful for the other person, if she'd realized.

Instead, she takes it as something more immediate. She's not alone right now, here. And that's true too, though whether this whole situation right now is a good thing or not, she's still not sure.

Truth be told though, there's a quiet part of her that's relieved.

She makes a quiet sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob]

I hate this place. I hate the things it's done to my friends. But... If it hadn't been for this place...

[She'd never have met Reno, Link, Shion, Yu himself... and she'd definitely have never met Sora.

At that silent offer, there's a moment's hesitation, where she first isn't quite sure what he means. Hugging as a means of comfort wasn't something she got often. Even Riku - the one who'd comforted her most often in recent months - usually kept it to a hand on her shoulder. Then, as she realizes, there's a moment's hesitation again, before she gives in to the desire for comfort, and accepts the offer, leaning over into the hug.]

Edited 2012-06-27 05:52 (UTC)

[It doesn't matter which way she takes it, because it's true regardless of the many meanings behind his words. He's silent as ever because no matter what he says, there are so many emotions tying into this revelation that most of it can't be put into words. In short, Yu is at a loss for them like he has been several times before.

Though he gets what Xion means in that choked sound, however hushed it was.

He feels the same way.]

I know.

[If there was one thing that differentiated him from the other two what were chosen, it was his patient compassion for others. Yu doesn't mind the hesitation - if anything, it told him more about her upbringing and lack of social understanding. So when she does accept it, he holds her in the semi-forced quiet of this floor. There was a silent promise said there somewhere, along with the humming.

...Forgive him. The extent of his musical talent is limited to the guitar and trumpet.]

[Sora almost left his own message to that guy on the network - Sora didn't like them or trust them one bit, no matter what they said, and he wanted to say so - but his priorities changed when he saw Xion's message. What she said at the end, about not having much time left.

He may not be very good at picking up subtle hints, but even Sora knew what she meant by that.

So he was looking for her. He wasn't sure where to go, so he was just trying to check every place that he thought she might have been. Floor 20 wasn't one of those places, but he was passing through...and, by chance, he spotted her.

He doesn't say anything at first; just walks over, and sits down next to her. She's still not looking too good, but he wants to cheer her up...even though what he wants to ask her about probably won't do that.]

The guys who run this place are kind of nuts, huh?

[Maybe venting would be a good place to start, though.]

[Xion can tell when Sora sits next to her, and stiffens. Of all the people to see that message... why him, why Sora? She didn't want to talk about her future to him, not out of dislike but... if he knew, if he found out... If she'd ever found out someone had to disappear for her... she'd feel awful, do anything she could to stop it.

She could only imagine how Sora would react. She didn't want to explain this to him.

At his question though, her shoulders ease, jut a little, though it's still tense. She laughs, a little brokenly.]

Yeah, they are. [She closes her eyes] They're awful.

[This all but confirms he saw the message though. Why else would he be commenting about that? This was the first time they'd ever been able to speak to any of the people who ran the Tower - at least since she was here.]

All that stuff he was trying to tell us...I'm not sure if I believe any of it.

[Sora isn't very good at this, and he's starting to figure that out fast. All of these heavy topics - dying, getting hurt, losing worlds - he doesn't know how to deal with any of it. How is he supposed to help his friends, when he doesn't even have a clue?

It occurs to him that normally, when he needs advice about stuff like this, he would ask his parents. But...would they know how to talk to Xion about this, if they were here? Maybe. But he wasn't as sure as he had always been before.

He had to ask, though - he wasn't going to be any help to her if they just sat here.]

What you said there, about not having much time left...something bad was gonna happen back home, huh?

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All you can do is try to know who your friends are

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wow i thought i replied after a month ago MY BAD. ;A;

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