towerofanimus | THIRD WIND ☴ Autumn's in ashes

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THIRD WIND ☴ Autumn's in ashes

Characters: Vriska and John, both OU
Setting: Vriska's room; backdated to the twentieth
Format: Action
Summary: John goes to Vriska to tell her about that bizarre spider that everyone's been talking about (and possibly also mention that it killed him, whoops). Horrible shenans ensue.

[Well, that was... special.]

[If John was counting correctly, and he was pretty sure that he was, the attack by that giant spider had marked the third time he had died in Tower Hellspawn. (The name was mocking, but he was beginning to think that it was really quite accurate.) He hadn't even been able to draw blood; the thing had just come upon him, and since his powers still weren't in the best of sorts, the fight was remarkably one-sided. John had become used to running from things, so by the time he remembered that oh wait, he could summon a hammer now, the demonic arachnid had already gotten a nice grip on his head.]

[Regardless, he felt Vriska ought to know about this. Not only because she loved spiders and would probably squeal her head off if she knew there was now a killer white one stomping around, but also to see if she had any tips for killing the things themselves. Like, maybe you flip them around and hit their underbellies for massive damage? John doesn't know, his experience with spider killing is limited to Legend of Zelda, okay.]

[According to this plaque next to the door, he was now in front of Vriska's room. So, ever the gentleman in this room full of doubtlessly-lovely ladies, John knocked.]

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[Her anger snaps, unfortunately directed at the wrong person.]

I have tried! I culled her and she came back and she'll just keep coming back.

[She pales almost as soon as she says it and sinks down onto her bed. She grinds her teeth together, glaring down at the floor.]

That's how this tower works with this crap.

[And he just goes sad again as Vriska starts screaming, sitting down on the bed next to her.]

...It's okay. There's some way to get rid of it--her, but we just haven't found it yet.

[She feels so drained right now. It was fine when it wasn't hurting her friends, though she'd never say that to John of all people. But now she feels like it's her fault, for not being able to get rid of her for good. No- no this was Karkat's fault, it was his stupid lusus causing the problems and she'd gotten caught up in it. She clenches her fists, weighing her choices - telling john the truth or lying about it. She decides to settle with something in between.]

John, that's my lusus. Well, she's not mine, I mean. My lusus is dead, but this thing is a troll lusus. But like there are a lot of Tavros' lusus here as monsters and that's probably what this spider is too. Just some spider lusus, but I don't have any control over her. [She chews on her lip.] For all I know, there might even be more of them here. I don't know.

[He certainly would be disappointed in her if she said such a thing. But he would understand, too -- besides the fact that she's a troll and he's pretty sure trolls are supposed to do those things, it was easier to think you were in the clear if your choices didn't affect anyone you knew. Of course she would be fine with it when it was eating other people, because the other people wouldn't stop and look at her.]

[That time was over now, though. Spidermom had caught up with her, even if she was not hers.]

...I see.

[This gives him pause, but eventually he does speak.] ...Then... do we treat her just like any other monster? Keep killing her, or them?

[She doesn't want to talk about this, she doesn't want to face the problem head on. If only she could be uninvolved with the whole thing. She wishes she'd told Karkat to fuck off back when she first showed up. Too little, too late. Always too late. She presses the heels of her hands into her eyes, sighing and shrugging.]

Probably. I doubt it will help. Like I said when I killed her she came back pissed. I managed to get her into the forest but she didn't stay there apparently. That lusus- it eats trolls to survive. She doesn't seem to be picky with humans either. As long as the tower has people living in it, she's going to try eating them.

Are you really planning to try to fight it again after you got killed?

[Vriska is clearly upset by this, which is... bad. But there is one other thing -- she looks guilty. Guilty is good, right? Right. Guilty means that Vriska knows what she did wrong, and she wants to be able to fix it, but of course she can't. This is actually fairly heartening to John, so much so that it gives him the courage to plow bravely on in the name of friendship!!! ...He does this by doing what any friend would do and slinging an arm around her shoulder, giving her a knowing smile.]

Consider this. I bet I know who brought that thing into the tower -- it was the one guy, Jason. The douchebag everyone hates because he likes to make our lives miserable, remember? I bet you fifty boondollars he was the guy who put that in. So as soon as someone else figures out what happened, they'll take her out and everything will be fine.

[Guilty about the wrong thing, but John doesn't know that. How can she lie to his face about this whole thing? Especially when he's smiling at her and trusting her. Damn her weaknesses. She stares down at the floor, leaning into him cautiously. She really wants to come clean to him, believe that maybe he'll understand. She doesn't want to admit that maybe she's scared of losing the only person who still thinks something of her and isn't disgusted with her in this tower.]

Why bring something from Alternia? All this is going to do is punish me specifically.

[She sighs.]

Remember when I told you I killed hundreds of thousands of trolls? That was all to feed my lusus. If any of the trolls hear about this thing they're going to assume she's mine and that I'm the reason people are dying. I'm going to take the blame for something that isn't even my fault.

Then you have to convince them. Prove without a doubt that you want it gone just as much as they do! [The hand not wrapped around Vriska is now clenched into a fist. He'd help her, of course. They could lure the spiderlusus into an area with a network or something and 'accidentally' film Vriska trying to kill it. Or even just a statement over the tubes. Something. Vriska was his friend, and he didn't want his friends being misunderstood over things they don't even want to be involved with.]

I... I don't know how much convincing it'll take, but we can make it better, Vriska. We can get rid of your lusus and get rid of your reputation.

I don't know, John. Wouldn't that just make me look really suspicious? No one ever comes forward to deny that the monsters in this place are from their worlds. Me doing it will paint a target on my back, I'm sure!

[She appreciates his sentiment, honestly, but coming forward to admit that thing was a lusus from her world while simultaneously trying to convince everyone it isn't hers isn't something she's up for doing anytime soon.]

No, because chances are, the people who suspect you are the people from Alternia, right? And I bet all of the people from Alternia have never heard you apologize like this for anything, ever. That has to count for something.

[And even if that doesn't work, they'll find some other way. He's going to clear Vriska's name if it's the last thing he ever does.]

Apologize? What do I have to apologize for?

[She sounds incredulous, and pulls away to give him a look.]

What do you want me to say? "Oh sorry, this thing isn't my lusus but let me take responsibility for it anyway and apologize that it's eating people"?? I don't see how that doesn't make me completely liable for all of this! I'm not apologizing for something I didn't do.

[And as Vriska gives him a look, he mirrors with his own look to match.]

You don't have to apologize for something you did, Vriska. Just show sympathy. You're apologizing to everyone who's been hurt by this giant spider, and all of the people who blame you have never seen you do that. They've never seen you feel bad for someone else, Vriska. And I know you do. That's the important thing.

That's... I can't do that.

[She pulls a hand through her hair.]

You don't understand because you aren't a troll, but sympathy is weakness. You can't feel bad for other people, it isn't natural. Not for trolls, not for me. You're asking me to admit that I'm a failure to my own race.

But you're not in Alternia anymore. You're in a place designed, run, and... partially occupied by humans. It's okay to be sympathetic. Nothing bad will happen to you. [His voice has been gaining progressively more power up until this point, but now it dies down again. He is quieter, more serious but no less sincere.] And, Vriska... I don't care what trolls think. Looking after others is a strength, not a weakness.

You sure are full of yourself, John! You're asking me to abandon how I was raised. You know that, right?

[She frowns, stares at her feet. She feels so small right now because she knows he's right, but acknowledging that is acknowledging that the entire way she was raised was completely flawed. She knows her world was fucked up, but she still grew up in it.]

Just because this place is run by humans doesn't mean I can just forget six sweeps of Alternian customs. There are other trolls here, our Empress is here. If she catches young trolls showing weakness she'll cull us all.

A lot of people abandon how they were raised, and a lot of times it was for the best. What if someone was raised to be... well, just to live in the same place for the rest of their life, and just sit there, looking at the ceiling? Wouldn't you want them to let go of what they thought then? You would, because doing that is terrible and not good at all and the person is a lot better than that.

That's you, Vriska. You're that person. You can become better than you are, better than you or any Empress -- who can't even kill you anymore. Everyone is equal now, even the living and the dead.

She can still kill me. Just because I come back doesn't mean I didn't die. And it doesn't mean I won't be on her radar anymore or that she can't just kill me again for defying her rules.

I don't know how to explain it. I was the best troll - I could kill as many people as I wanted to and not have a single problem with it! But then Aradia came along and I felt shitty about it and every time I killed another friend I felt bad. Out of all of us, I was supposed to be the toughest. I had the lusus you fed other trolls to, that was my job. Feed or be fed! That's how I grew up. I don't want my race to see my weaknesses, to see... whatever this is. Humanity or something. I wasn't made for that.

Just because this isn't Alternia anymore doesn't mean I'm not still a troll.

But what do you want to be like, Vriska?

There had to be something there when you killed Aradia and the others. A sadness that you just said you weren't 'supposed' to have. But... but forget about what you're 'supposed' to be like for a minute, okay? No one told you to be sad about Aradia, it's not part of your duty to society or whatever to be sad about Aradia. You just did it. [Wow, okay, suddenly he wishes he paid more attention to Rose's lectures.]

That's part of who you are too, Vriska. You're a good person who feels bad when you hurt people. Just in your own mind, without thinking about what the Empress or whatever will do to you. Doesn't that sound good?

What do I want to be, huh? [She laughs a little bitterly at that. Boy she sure wasn't expecting to have a heart to heart conversation today.]

I grew up wanting to be like my ancestor. I tried everything I could to follow her life and it backfired on me. [She shrugs, avoiding looking at him.] I want to be the best, and that regret I felt killing my friends- that's what's wrong with me.

At least, that's what I thought until we discovered that we made you. It's like you all have this defect of mine where it's okay to feel remorse. Humans didn't turn out anything like one of us, it was more like all of the things we failed at as trolls is what your race became. And your race embraces it and mine- the adults would kill us for it. Maybe I could have changed if the Empress wasn't here but that isn't the case. I don't know what I want to be now. Everyone's expecting me to act a certain way, even you.

I don't expect you to act any way, Vriska. I'm asking you about the way you want to act.

No one has to control you anymore, you don't need to conform to whatever the Empress wants. She doesn't have her army [because what empire doesn't have an army?] and she doesn't have her say over everyone. It's up to you. And-- and if you want to keep acting like the perfect troll, then that's your choice. But the Empress may as well not be here, so... it's not too late for you.

[And now he's smiling.]

You're still a kid, Vriska. It's not too late to change.

Have you seen her? She doesn't need an army.

[She pulls her legs up and buries her face in them, frustrated. What does she she want to be? Her best intentions make a mess of everything, whether she's trying to be a perfect troll or trying to act like a human would. It's like she's just one big fuck up after another no matter how much she tries to act like she's not.]

Look at you, talking like you know everything. You're a kid too, you know! I just... I don't know what I want. [God this whole conversation makes her feel like a pathetic piece of shit.] I'm too violent to be human and too soft-hearted to be a troll. Where does that even leave me?

...It's hard, I know. I can't imagine this would be easy. [So he's going to keep grinning and be patient, because even if Vriska is being a fussyface now, he's pretty sure that this is good for her.]

It leaves you as you. Just... don't worry about how much you're a human and how much you're a troll. We're not that different, after all... there have been humans who acted like trolls, and there have been trolls who've acted like humans. [That'd be you, in case you couldn't tell.] There's no species binary. You're allowed to be Vriska Serket. Not savior of the human race, or scourge of the seven seas or whatever... just be yourself.

It'll be hard. But... if anyone can change their fate, I think it is probably you.

[She glances up at him, eyeing his face for sincerity. Stupid John with his equally stupid optimism. But she feels... Better. Talking to him always seems to have that effect, even if she's drained from having a meltdown about her sense of self-worth.]

You're too optimistic for your own good. This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard! But maybe I'll humor you and give it a shot.

[She pauses, unfolding herself and staring back down at the floor awkwardly. She's never been good at dealing with feelings jams.] Just don't hate me if I'm bad it or something.

[Hey, what are friends for?]

You can't be bad at it, Vriska! You're just not used to it. No one can turn around and become a paragon of social virtue just like that. It'll take a while, but you can do it.

A "while", huh? [She rolls her eyes.] Thanks for the vote of confidence.

[He's right of course, it probably will take a while. But Vriska's going to try to prove him wrong and do it in a shorter amount of time. If she can do it at all, but she's Vriska fucking Serket, of course she can do it.]

Oh no? Well then, I expect gushing praise from everyone by tomorrow. [He folds his arms in satisfaction.]

[She rolls her eyes, reaching out to shove him lightly.]

Shut up, Egbert, you know that's impossible.

[He shoves back, grinning.]

Oh, fine, day after tomorrow then.

Oh yes, that is muuuuuuuuch more doable! How considerate of you.

[Mussing up his hair!! If you even can that shit is already pretty messy.]

[Yeah really, it is like a man-eating bush growing out of his head. Still, he attempts to swat her hand away, laughing.]

That's the spirit. Daylight's burning, Serket!

[She makes a dramatic show of relenting, but she's smiling and it's actually genuine for once.]

Says the one wasting my time right now!

[MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Operation 'Cheer Up Vriska' was successful! John went up a level on his Echeladder!!! ...Except not. But he's still pretty happy to see her smile, for real.]

Then get going!

Maybe later. I think I'll get back to the sleep you interrupted first.

Okay. Have fun, lazybones.

[He stands up to go, still grinning like a massive derp.]

We sleep during the day, dumbass.

[She reaches out to grab his hand to stop him from leaving just yet.]

Hey.

...Thanks, John. And abscond if you run into that spider again.

Sleep during the day. Okay, Vriska. Sure.

[He stops immediately when she grabs him, turning back around; and if you thought he was beaming before, then he's probably powering a nuclear reactor now.]

Anytime, Vriska. And... I will.

[Her smile is not nearly as radiant, but it's a change from her usual condescending smirks. Reserved for best friends only.]

I'll kick your ass if you get hurt again. Now get out of here so your nocturnal troll friend can get some sleep.

Oh, I'm soooooooo scared. [His smile and laughter turn wry as he takes his leave from the dorm.]

Later days!

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THIRD WIND ☴ Autumn's in ashes

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