Holy water cannot help you know

[floreatnoctem]

Characters: [AU1] Chidori Yoshino; OPEN
Setting: Anywhere, everywhere
Format: Action, but I'll match if you prefer prose.
Summary: Chidori can't quite get back into simply existing in the tower, especially after the month she's had.
Warnings: Mentions of body horror, suicidal thoughts, righteous fury, possibly language if she gets worked up enough.



[Everything is still the same, and she's not sure whether it's depressing or infuriating.

In the month without them there, despite everything they've been forced to go through, how much they've been cut into, 'enhanced', mutilated for the sake of 'science- the tower remains just as she remembers it before leaving. Nothing has changed, save for the fact that some have gone and more have come in their place. Unsurprising, as most things in the tower were at this point- it was just another part of the routine, something to be seen, noted, and taken in stride. Nothing she couldn't do, and nothing she hadn't done before. The only thing that was different was that it seemed that some of the other residents of the tower had taken to emulating their captors, using the others against her will.

She could still feel a twinge where she'd been run through again.

Medea, for her part, has been nothing short of insufferable; the steady chatter of her derision a steady stream of sound in the back of her mind. Every day is an even greater failure to her, but as ever, Chidori ignores her and continues about her days as best she can. But the strain from the last few days is evident in the way she carries herself, the frost in her gaze and the derision in her tone, when she can be persuaded to talk. But she keeps the anger controlled, a seething roil of emotions held in check beneath her usual impassive mask.

It won't be too long before she can't keep her hold on it anymore though.]

Comments

[chainsawn]

.. No, I'm not. [ It's only the truth, so it's easy enough to acknowledge with a small nod, even if staring at her is still pretty difficult - there's something intimidating about her. ]

But.. I'll try to make sure nobody hurts me..

[floreatnoctem]

Can you manage that?

[Chidori doubts it, from the way she's cringing away from her. Some of the tower's inhabitants will eat this girl alive- figuratively, though she wouldn't put it past some for it to become literal.]

[chainsawn]

I'm not very strong. [ She's willing to admit that one at least, even if she averts her gaze for a moment as if she's a little pouty despite her blank tone. ] But I could.. try, right? Tara said I just had to keep trying my best no matter what and it'd be okay..

[floreatnoctem]

It would be in your best interests to avoid being out after dark, in that case. And to keep away from the older trolls.

[It's the most Chidori is willing to say on the subject, not so much because she cares, but because there's a tragic lack of common sense in the tower, most days. She does frown a little at the last bit, however, and reins in a sigh.]

'It will be okay' is something you tell children when there is something to look forward to. I would not take that to heart in this case.

[chainsawn]

Even when it's someone reliable telling you that..?

[ Urotsuki just follows other people's words and opinions easily, and.. well, this is just one of those cases. Although it - at the same time - means she does listen to Chidori's advice as well, making sure to remember it. ]

[floreatnoctem]

[Chidori almost scoffs at that. Instead she makes it a point to look the girl directly in the eyes, her expression completely unreadable. She'd like to be reassuring, deep down- but there's no point in lying.]

No matter how reliable someone is, there is no 'okay' in this place. Not really.

[chainsawn]

.. So.. in this place, there's no way to be happy? [ because if things aren't 'okay', then how could it do anything but make you feel bad? ]

No matter what you do, or how hard you work.. things won't get better?

[floreatnoctem]

There are ways. You simply cannot expect them to last.

[It's not entirely hopeless, really- just mostly.]

It all depends on how much you want to keep having to make things better again.

[chainsawn]

.. I want to keep trying. [ It takes a moment to think about it, a small pause, but she's settled on this, apparently. ] This is a new chance I've gotten, so.. I want to keep trying my best here. I don't want to give up and just accept it, that's.. too sad.

[floreatnoctem]

[She blinks at the resolve, and then shrugs. She can at least appreciate her conviction.]

Then you should find a way to protect yourself.

[chainsawn]

[ For the slightest moment there's a pause, as if she's deciding on something.. but she doesn't answer. At least, not verbally. Instead she puts her hands in front of her, and out of nowhere a chainsaw materializes in them. ]

.. Something like this? [ She's holding the thing almost as if it's natural, but stares at her curiously as if she's waiting for approval in defense strategy choice. ]

[floreatnoctem]

[Chidori's eyebrows give the barest of upward movements, eyelids slipping a little lower at the sight of the chainsaw.]

I thought you weren't very strong?

[chainsawn]

I'm not strong. [ That's true, and she admits that much - or at least, it's what she thinks about herself. She lowers the chainsaw, holding it by her side. ]

That's.. why I have this to defend myself instead..

[floreatnoctem]

I think you're confused about the kind of strength you have, then.

[chainsawn]

...

There are.. different kinds of strength?

[floreatnoctem]

[A raise of her eyebrows again.]

Of course there are.

[chainsawn]

I didn't know that.. [ a hum, as if she's considering it. ] Nobody ever told me about them before.

[floreatnoctem]

You must have had a very sheltered life then. Or someone was trying to keep you thinking you were weak.

I wouldn't really be surprised by either.

[chainsawn]

[ she glances away, as if she seems to realise something. ]

.. I think.. it's the first. At least.. I haven't seen many people in my life, I haven't talked to many.. I haven't even talked much to my parents.