towerofanimus | Closed; DRUG ALL THE PEOPLE!!!

Entry tags:

Closed; DRUG ALL THE PEOPLE!!!

Characters: AUquius and Gamzee
Setting: Workshop floor; backdooted to somewhere before the event
Format: Starting off with prose, I'll switch to whatever
Summary: Dysfunctional happiness and dysfunctional dysfunction.
Warnings: DON'T DO SLIME, KIDS! Also Gamzee's potty mouth.

[Ah, the workshop. It was such a nice, reasonable, quiet place.]

[Of course, that was because on most days, Equius was more or less the only person there. He generally didn't try to move off the staircase much unless it was on one or two floors; exploring was never his forte. Today, however, he's not doing anything of actual intelligence or content in the room of endless mechanical parts; it's really one of those days where all you want to do is clean up after everyone else who uses the room, does anyone know those days? ...No? Well Equius does. It's one of those days. Seriously, the drones miss so much. It's amazing if you just look around.]

[But of course, Equius rarely embarks on a domestic work quest of this magnitude for no reason. He looks a bit like there's something weighing on his mind. (And really, when isn't there something weighing on his mind?) And that would be exactly what's happening. There are, of course, the usual worries that a fussmaster like himself takes upon with no prior request or indication; but besides that, there's the distinct fact that the Tower is a thing. It has been a thing for several months, and in the foreseeable future, it will never stop being a thing. Of course, he's succumbed to his fate of being trapped in this hell pit for the rest of his life. That's really the only thing he can do at this point.]

[Still, even with all the things he has learned about his world from the others from his universe living here -- the Scratch and all it entails -- was it really too much to ask for everyone to just be... sent back? Was that bad? Everyone was going to die anyway, so couldn't they at least do it outside of this hellish refugee zone?]

[Man, look at all this philosophy. He looks pretty deep into it. What would happen if someone just... came along and...]

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[...came along and what? Looked down over Equius while he was crouched down, seemingly picking something off of the floor? Gamzee was sprawled across one of the taller work tables, head dangling awkwardly off of the side, neck craned just enough to spy on whatever Equius was so concentrated on. It had to be something good to warrant that kind of attention!]

[...Was he. Cleaning...]

[If Equius hadn't felt Gamzee's terrible pink hair brushing the back of his neck as he hung just above him, he'd probably feel the pokes and prods of his massive horns as he shifted around atop the table. He actually had taken a liking to the workshop. Even if he didn't have any skills whatsoever, it was still fascinating to stick around, down a pie, and wait to see what interesting person would come in here next. He'd met a lot of people here, and even though he'd seen this yellow Equius around (where had he seen him? Where had he seen him?), he'd never really spoken with him directly. He thinks?]

[Now seemed like the perfect time to ~~spy~~ ~~be intrusive~~ strike up a conversation with a brother! Well, just as soon as he finished missing his mouth with every fingerful he attempted to take of the pie, dripping a few splats of it on the floor next to the poor yellowblood.]

[If Gamzee ever was required to do any sort of covert operation, he would fail at it. And fail miserably.]

[Oh, just sit there like a loser and watch, apparently. Well, that's cool. Gamzee's covert operations have apparently succeeded thus far, with Equius too lost in his thoughts of doom to really bother, but now that they're in such close proximity it's getting more and more likely that he's going to notice something is wrong. Like, for example, the fact that there's something brushing against his horns, or he's being poked between the shoulderblades. Or the odd green slime dripping on the floor; is that sopor? That can't be sopor...]

[Once he notices it, Equius' blood runs as cold as Nepeta's for a second, and after that he finishes what he was doing... slowly. Equally slowly, he turns his head to the side. There's something there, definitely, but he can't identify what it is without a better look. So he kind of navigates around the floor in such a way that he's still crouching, but in a position that's a little more leant towards defending himself if the intruder is malevolent, which it most probably is. (Call it troll instincts on this one; he may look like he knows what he's doing, but in these situations, he is almost always going to run.) And from there, he just turns around and looks upward.]

[...And screams like a wiggler and falls back on his ass. WAY TO GO, EQUIUS. REALLY. WAY TO GO.]

[Of course he can't see the symbol from Gamzee's present position atop the table, but the horns and the facepaint and the wild hair is enough to give him terrible flashbacks to a certain other indigo. And then the flashbacks continue to a certain other other indigo, who is also in fact the first indigo mentioned; all of them seem to take place in a dark, dusty, endless labyrinth...]

[From there, it's really just a matter of converting his crouch to a more appropriate position of fearful groveling. Since he's already right on the floor and all.]

Edited 2012-07-18 04:33 (UTC)

[HOLY FUCK did that wigglerish squeal scare the ever-loving fuck out of him!!! So much so, in fact, that he did something really close to a full-body spasm, resulting in Gamzee flinging himself clear off of the work table in a fit of honks and awkward flailing. As soon as his entire self clattered onto the floor (bonking a horn in the process - ow) in a tangled heap, the tin fell soon after, landing, of course, face-down and splattering sopor every-fucking-where.]

Ughhh, uhh... oh, fuckkk...

[He was twisted on himself. Where did all of these never-ending limbs even come from!? Ugh ugh ugh time to untangle. He hated untangling. Oh, damn, and he'd lost his pie, too. He wasn't even half finished yet! Now that he thought about it, it could probably be salvaged still. Five-perigree rule, yeah? Oh, it was the five-second rule? Whatever, same difference.]

[...Oh, WHOAAA, there was someone here! It had been a good minute before Gamzee unburied his head from himself, detangling an arm that had managed to hook between his horns, pulling his oversized shirt back down over his stomach, and tilting his head at the cowering Equius with a big ol' grin plastered all over his clown face.]

[So there sure was a Gamzee coming straight for him, and once he had touched in with moonbase, there sure was a Gamzee sprawled on the floor with knots in his limbs. He was screaming like a banshee, as usual. And Gamzee's upset, predictably, did nothing positive for Equius' upset, so the whole thing kind of collapsed into an indecipherable mound of screams and honks and long noodly limbs. The bright green slime now sprayed around anywhere didn't do them any favors, either; so on top of being freaked out because as far as he could tell an indigo had just fallen from the sky, he could also be freaked out because someone just threw sopor slime all over the room. Basically, if anyone ever wanted to blackmail either of them for anything, this footage would be the prime candidate.]

[This is kind of so dysfunctional it hurts. Literally, in a couple of ways.]

[The smile did nothing to soothe his nerves. In fact, it only worsened them, with the giant ripper teeth on full display. So between that and the slime and the unholy honking cacophony that his poor ears had just been subjected to, Equius instinctively knew he had to take a moment or else his heart would burst; however, 'taking a moment' involved staring straight at Gamzee, so he kind of huddled in that stupid position for a while more and pressed his forehead to the ground.]

[It took a few tries to convince his voice to work, and many more to make it work comprehensibly. So don't mind the whimpers and squeaks and other assorted noises that come out of his mouth before he can manage up the ability to say:] I'm sorry!

[For what, he doesn't know. But why else would there be a downright fucking terrifying indigo troll jumping in on him if not to give him another seven minutes in hell?]

[The smile didn't falter. Not at all, even after Equius' apology.]

No motherfuckin' thing, my little clean-y brother.

[What Equius was apologizing for, no one fucking knew. But they both assumed it was for something, when it was actually for nothing at all, and Gamzee was quick to dismiss it on the grounds of good, old-fashioned ignorance. Never mind asking what the groveling was for - who needed to know something as trivial as that? It was just easier to excuse it and get on their merry ways.]

[Except Gamzee didn't want to get on his merry way. Not just yet. Now that he was untangled, he scooted across the floor to where Equius was curled up, leaning his own head down to the floor inquisitively. When the tip of his chin hit the ground, he just... stared. At the top of Equius' head.]

[He was not getting the point of this. Was it a game? His eyes crossed.]

You all look fuckin' weird with two motherfucking horns, yo.

[Gamzee's voice sounded significantly different than it had in the Labyrinth's; recognizable as the same person, but different enough to give anyone pause. This, coupled with the fact that he didn't seem to have his claws in Equius' neck yet, prompted him to perhaps rethink his approach to the issue. ...Not too much, of course, since he didn't really like thinking too hard about the hemospectrum. It brought up too many questions that couldn't be answered. But enough that he could move, slightly, from his cowering position and at least look at Gamzee on even terms.]

[To his surprise, the boy's face wasn't at all the gnarled mess it had been last time they 'spoke'. Instead, the facepaint was fresh and neatly (!) applied, and his expression was set in a lopsided and slightly dazed smile. Gamzee looked downright amiable, if also possibly put on some kind of drug. But whatever it was, it seemed to be pacifying him quite well.]

[He looked weird with two horns? When did he ever not have two horns? Equius looks supremely confused for a few seconds while he tries to figure out why Gamzee would say that, or if it's just another side effect of his apparent stupor... but no, no it's not. He soon realizes what the other boy is talking about. Two horns, meaning there would have to be some Equius who has one. Not born with it, but just cracked off. ...Well, looks like he found a universe-mate of the True Equius. Haha. Wow. Yeah, he... he never stopped being a thing that happened, did he?]

[Suddenly the yellowblood gets slammed with another pang of unreasonable guilt. It hits him right in the part of the stomach that's already tied in knots from this conversation. God, if he was expecting behavior like that which the True Equius displayed... oh god... oh god.]

I'm sorry.

[Quality conversations 2k12.]

[Oh, good, the kid lifted his head. There was a little crease on his forehead from where the floor had made an impression on his skin. Gamzee's eyes swiveled around until they both focused on that spot. It was just a little indentation, a thin line, and he tried to distinguish it from the worry lines that had begun to form on Equius' forehead as the boy's expression became more and more uncertain. He began to laugh, blithe and airy and completely detached.]

[Gosh, this Equius didn't talk much. That was okay, though! Sometimes a brother just liked to get his quiet all on and let the other motherfuckers do all the wicked noise shit. He could be down with that! He could! Oh, was he still laughing? How long had he been laughing, now?]

Shiiit, for havin' two of them motherfuckers?

[Those sloppy eyes stared quite stupidly into Equius', and Gamzee now apparently was trying to make a game out of seeing how focused he could stay on them without straying. Usually that lasted only a few seconds. We'll see how well he could do. This made him laugh. Again. Apparently laying on your belly on the floor of a workshop with an extremely apologetic alternate-dimension version of one of your good bros after you'd just busted your shit off of a table and spilled your pie all over the fucking place had given him a bit of a case of the giggles.]

[Still attempting to keep eye contact, he supported himself solely with his stomach, reaching both arms up to grab around the middle of his own horns.]

Guess I should be spillin' my fuckin' sorries for both the ones I got, then?

[Gamzee was just a bucket of fun, apparently. Equius cringed as he started to laugh, waiting -- just waiting -- for it to turn into something twisted and evil and appropriate for a Subjugglator in training. But it never did. It was just a laugh, a normal (for Gamzee) laugh. Of course, Equius didn't take a moment to consider that whatever was influencing him was just making him a bit delirious; instead, his mind jumped right to the conclusion that Gamzee was laughing at him, and he crawled backward into a sitting position. Unfortunately, a nearby table prevented him from getting any more space between himself and Gamzee.]

Um, well... you don't have to...

[After all, both of their Gamzees had two horns. This Gamzee didn't have green blood or a cat tail, however, and that was equally disorienting. Though of course he did a better job of handing himself and not babbling about how no, you're the wrong Gamzee, Gamzee is supposed to be at least... at least a little more coherent than you, and what about the cat puns WHERE ARE THE CAT PUNS, etc. ...But of course, babbling is one of the few things Equius does well, so the indigo can expect to get a few earfuls of that later.]

[He pulls his arms and legs, just as awkward and noodly and long as Gamzee's, around himself in a useless attempt at protection. It was probably also to create a convenient barrier which he can hide behind, to defend against... what, exactly? He was of course on guard if Gamzee suddenly turned volatile, but really, what danger was this drugged idiot going to do? He was probably seeing three Equii as they spoke. But of course, for all Equius valued good old fashioned Logical Reasoning, he was devotedly ignoring it right now in favor of blind fear.]

...W-what do you want with me?

[Oh, lords was this kid just the jumpiest thing! Gamzee sat there for a while, cocking his head and staring at Equius like he was about to say something, the precursor to a grin plastered all over his face. It was a look one gets when they're in slight disbelief, almost ready to laugh but not certain if they should, because the matter just might not be a joke at all. It was just the state Gamzee was always in, honestly. Perpetual confusion, ignorance, and some sort of apathetic humor that wasn't as easy to place.]

[Hey, now. This one may not have had the grreen tail and the clawlorful face, but he didn't expect you to be exactly like his Equius, either. There was certainly the hesitation, the feeling like the other was walking on eggshells for some motherfucking reason Gamzee just couldn't wrap his fucking holey pan around. But... this one was a lot scrawnier, truth be told. Also he had Sollux's glasses for some reason. Gamzee had learned just to not question anything about these flippy-flopped motherfuckers. Not that he really ever did in the first place, anyway.]

[There was no hesitation at all between Equius' question and Gamzee's response. He simply chuckled again, still hanging on to his damn horns, planked on his stomach like a freakshow.]

Nothin'.

[Smiiiile.]

Just gettin' my motherfucking observe all on at a brother while he does what's coming all fuckin' natural to him.

[Yeah that wasn't creepy as fuck or anything.]

[Yeah, he kind of was. But fortunately Gamzee wasn't intimidating and secretly psychotic at all, so perhaps he could coaz Equius out of his ridiculous, heavy, metal-plated shell! ...yeah no. Basically everything about this Gamzee seemed, well, off; it was vaguely familiar due to all the time he spent with his Gamzee on LOLAF, collecting those horrible frogs, but either the transition to highbloodedness or the deep-buried lunacy of this Gamzee made it feel more like a mockery than anything else. Somewhere in his heart of hearts Equius was almost annoyed by this Gamzee's not-quite-unfamiliar ways. But as usual, his Typhon-like mess of issues prevented that from even being recognized, much less expressed.]

[...Yeah, it kind of was pretty creepy as fuck. But Equius isn't exactly clear of that charge either, so let's just carry on like it never happened, alright? Alright.] You were just... watching?

[Well that's lovely. Suddenly Equius became aware of all that time he had basically been puttering around and doing really... stupid things, to calm his nerves. With Gamzee "Axe-Murderer" Makara sitting right there on top of a bookshelf. Who knew how many weapons he could have hid in those ridiculously baggy clothes? The answer is A LOT, that's how many. Equius had long since learned that whenever someone was wearing things at least two sizes too large for them, then they invariably had at least a pistol or knife hidden in there to stab unsuspecting Sagittarians with. Somehow it... had never crossed his mind with his own Gamzee, him being practically a wild animal with no need for a weapon other than his claws, but this one whapped him around the head with it full force.]

Um, well... I... uh... I'll leave you to it then, sir. [He began moving into the clearance away from the shelf that threatened to crack his horns/head open if he stood up the wrong way. At least that would make him match the other one.]

Mmhmm!

[He chirped, finally deciding to quit fondling his own horns in favor of placing his hands beneath his chin. Honestly, he found everything Equius had been doing to be quite fascinating! ...Not that was really a difficult achievement, but it was true all the same. Mindless, seemingly meaningless tasks could tell you a lot about a person, especially when they'd thought no one was watching while they were being executed.]

Hard to be all believing a motherfucker like what's all I am can be up and takin' a few like, seconds all up out his night to be not runnin' his wordflap about and get caught up in a wicked observe zone, right?

[There sure was a giggle after that sentence, and Gamzee kicked his feet happily.]

Naw, no motherfuckin' bother, little goldbro. Been kinda gettin' my zone on too long what's all the fuckin' bottom-parts of me got no feelings runnin' up through them no more.

[Gamzee that sounded gross it would be wise to rephrase.]

Hey!

[Or not.]

Maybe a brother could all be like, getting his motherfuckin' assist on in another motherfucker or some shit what's all like that is!

[He stared up at Equius with big, wide eyes, clearly excited about the idea of helping him clean (???).]

[Well that's kind of weird, that Gamzee can be perfectly happy just sitting there and watching other people go about their business. But Equius has clearly realized by this point that everything about Gamzee is 'kind of weird' by virtue of him being Gamzee and also an indigo, so the thought was easily enough suppressed with everything else.]

[It was true, that mindless actions were the best gauge of character. 'Who you are in the dark' and all, eh? Nobody's watching, and therefore there is no reason to filter the things that one does for the sake of influencing others. Not that Equius is really able to change his actions all that well anyway. As far as he's concerned, it's either "talking to a highblood" or "talking to a lowblood", and usually the highblood personality wins out because... well, there are a lot of people higher than yellow in the world.]

Not... not hard to believe? I was just surprised. Why would you be watching me? Just because I was convenient, or...?

[Some other reas-- NO. NO, ZAHHAK. GODDAMMIT. DO NOT GO THERE.]

[wow those eyes are really big]

Oh.

Um. If you want? I mean, you... probably shouldn't, on the grounds that it's not really a thing that indigo-bloods should be doing. There's no need to do that just to, uh, help me.

[Gamzee smiled. It was a sort of confusing expression, almost patronizing only in the sense that he couldn't quite grasp Equius' question, so it came out as a half-hearted, confused little smirk.]

Well... 'cause you was all fuckin' up at just being here, mostly.

[He chewed the inside of his cheek absently. How to explain...? Did this really need to be explained? This motherfucker sure wasn't getting as much up in his chill zone as he ought to be. It was easy, then. Gamzee would just have to take it nice and easy. Talk him through it, settle him down. No need to be jumpy here!]

You and me. Me and motherfuckin' you. We was all up to be at just the same motherfucking illest of places at just the same motherfuckin' time. Don't you be gettin' the feelin' up inside your panguts on that bein' just the most bitchin' fuckin' miracle any brother ever was to get his hear on of?

[The smile turned more genuine, more serene. His pie was gone, but that was okay. This guy was a little skittish, but that was okay, too. Everything was generally okay and nothing hurt! What a silly boy this was.]

How's about I all be dropping on what's at your motherfuckin' way somethin' what sounds much more motherfucking better than all what you're up to be being all fuckin' doin' right the fuck now?

How's about us motherfuckers let all this cleany noise get its slip out of from in our pans, hmm?

[The smile came as a surprise to him, but not because of what it almost implied. He really didn't mind if Gamzee wanted to act patronizing, of course. That was just his unique brand of lowblood treatment and that was fine. No, Equius had learned by now roughly which sopored-up smile meant what, and this one pretty clearly answered the question for him: Gamzee didn't know. He was just stalking this dirt-crawling lowblood on a whim.]

...Just because I was convenient, then.

[In hindsight, he probably shouldn't have wasted his breath. The answer was obvious. Gamzee didn't have enough foresight to do anything else.]

[Gamzee hadn't mentioned faeries so far in this conversation, that was true. So perhaps it wasn't the sopor that caused such an infatuation with the (obviously untrue) idea. But it quickly becomes evident what Gamzee's mind conceived to replace it: miracles.] N-no? Not really? [Pause. ...But Equius couldn't bear to leave it as more than a few seconds that he disagreed completely with a highblood, so:] ...I mean, I guess. It is an odd coincidence that we should, you know, happen to be here at the same time. But it's not really... miraculous.

[He should have known it would be miracles. Depending on the person, most people would say that miracles weren't real either. Just like faeries were figments of the imagination created out of boredom, or insanity maybe, miracles were nothing more than extremely unlikely events happening in real life. Miracles were never anything worth counting on, though. They didn't succeed often enough to warrant much of Equius' respect, but as he was quickly learning, Gamzee was much more easily swayed.]

[...When Gamzee suggests his own solution -- or distraction -- to the cleaning problem, Equius already has kind of an inkling of what's going to happen next. But he can't reject it outright. So he just re-adjusts his position on the floor so that it's slightly less painful for his already-sore muscles.] Like... like what?

Edited 2012-08-27 03:33 (UTC)

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Closed; DRUG ALL THE PEOPLE!!!

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I love how you tagged /this/ thread instead of the not hilariously out of date one

i'm a really fast tagger stop

You are the best tagger. It is you.