so hard to reignite myself

[hachitaro]

Characters: Taro and you!
Setting: Various places around the Tower.
Format: Action, though I can roll with prose if you really want.
Summary: Taro's wandering more or less aimlessly, trying to run away from his own issues and failing badly.
Warnings: Depression, talk of death. I'll edit in things if they come up.


[Floor 4]
[He knows the legends, he's read and heard them again and again, but that doesn't stop him from rereading them. Taro sits in a chair, curled up with a book of Japanese myths. He's got it open to the chapter of the creation of Japan - even if the Izanagi he saw isn't the god from his world, if he ends up following similar patterns it's good for a refresher.]

[Still... if there are others with this kind of power aside from Yu and Jun... if the gods act like the ones distributing power in the Underground there's going to be trouble. He has no illusions that he can stand against a god, either here or at home.]

[But that doesn't mean he can’t try.]



[Floor 13]
[He's never been religious. There was really no need, when he was supernatural himself. Sure, he questioned where he came from or why he was there - but that was just what people did, not just humans.]

[Still, Taro sits on a pew near the back, knees pulled up to his chest. Sound doesn't travel as well here, and this place is usually pretty quiet... which is why it's okay here to just put his head down on his knees and cry.]

[Even if his world isn't gone, he is. There's no real getting around that. And while he's lived for almost a hundred and forty years, he didn't expect it to end so abruptly. Sure, he thought poking around might have been dangerous, and sure he was flippant until the end, but that didn't stop the fact that he had been truly terrified.]

[He's scared. He's scared for himself, because where is he going to even go? He's been good-hearted, but he hasn't been a good person, and he has no idea if that even matters in the end. He's scared for Toshiko - even if she tries to finish what he started, that doesn't mean she’ll succeed. He's scared for the whole Underground - he tried to keep the power struggles to a minimum, but with this kind of interference a lot of people could get hurt.]



[Floor 30]
[Taro stands in tanuki form, surrounded by mist and shivering. His fur is matted, and he looks thin - he doesn't have such a round belly anymore. He knows it's a monster in the mist, he knows he has to break free... but he's so tired. And he can hear her voice, even if it's just an illusion and a lie.]

'You idiot. Why did you have to go and die on me? Now I have to deal with this myself.'

… I know. I’m sorry. I never meant to leave you...

[He needs to get out of this, soon, but he just feels like he's going to fall asleep where he stands.]



[Floor 38]
[Taro is on one of the couches, curled up in human form. He looks all right, though he's tired, but there’s a thin trail of blood leading from the door to where he's lying down. It smells like blood, too.]

[He’s quiet, but if you approach him he'll turn to look at you.]

Comments

[hachitaro]

[He squeezes her hand back a little. I'm here..]

I don't think so. I did it because I had to hide... but I don't have to hide here.

I mean, I might go around pretending to be someone else, but only for a day or so.

[moontothetide]

[She's glad. She's glad he's here. It's a little scary, caring about someone as much as she's come to care about Taro...but, it's nice, too.

She probably would have died back there, if not for him.]

So, um...have you ever talked with me? Being someone else, I mean. You are a, a tanuki, so...I guess you do that a lot, huh?

[hachitaro]

I do, but... I haven't with you. I wouldn't, unless you wanted me to.

[It's a little embarrassing, but... well.]

You're the first human I've been able to be really honest with. I was always just scared someone would call the police and have me hauled off to an asylum, or to some laboratory. But... I don't think you'd do that, even if we were in a place with things like that.

[His eyes are tearing up. He was doing it anyway, and she deserves to see.]

You deserve better than that. So... thank you.

[moontothetide]

...no. I wouldn't.

[Spike? Spike deserved a chip in his head, and Tara doesn't even feel guilty believing that he deserved worse.

Taro? Not so much.]

You deserve better than that, too. Y-You've been really nice to me, even when I was...kind of weird.

So...I, I'm glad you don't mind being honest with me, and...y-you're welcome.

[hachitaro]

That's what friends are for, right? And I'm... honored to call you a friend.

[She's so different than the people he's used to dealing with. After a moment, he reaches out to her, pulling her into a loose hug.]

[moontothetide]

[...was not expecting that.

Tara's still going to hug him back anyway. The only thing that stops it from being outright clinging, actually, is how tired she is.]

You're...y-you're kind of the, the first friend I ever had. Really...ever.

So...p-please don't die, Taro. If...if you can help it. [You may be an old man who can face death laughing, but...that makes the thought of it hurt even worse.] I-I'd be sad...

[hachitaro]

I'll do my best if you'll do the same.

[He pats her back gently before pulling away a little.]

Come on. Let's get to a safer floor. You look like you're going to fall over.

[Not that he doesn't feel about the same, but he's doing what he can to hide it.]

[moontothetide]

S-So do you.

[She sounds a bit petulant, mostly being depressed by virtue of being affected so badly that she'd let so much slip. But she can certainly understand the virtue of getting away.]

M-Maybe, um, m-maybe we should go to the cafeteria? I...well, um, we could probably both use something to eat, after that.

[hachitaro]

... That's a good point. There should be something, at least.

[He's staying far away from that cheese, thanks.]

[moontothetide]

[Tara hasn't had much issue with the cheese. If only because she had to eat so much of it in the pods. You learn to ignore the little wriggling bits.]

M-Maybe there's, um, still some bagels left. [She takes his arm for a hesitant, slow start down the stairs.]

...have you ever been to the restaurant?

[hachitaro]

[He'll still pass. But he smiles as she takes his arm.]

Maybe. And... no, I haven't. I heard that it was dangerous to go there.

[moontothetide]

S-So did I. I don't know why, though.

But... [Tara nervously chews her lip, before leaning in to Taro and saying with the air of one confessing.] I-I went there. I know some magic that, um, makes it really easy to find things. S-So, um, that's what I did.

[hachitaro]

[... He breaks out into a grin.]

Good thinking. Then yeah, let's head there. I'll help you find what you need later.

[moontothetide]

Mostly, um, I-I just needed food. Food that's not...awful.

[Tara pulls a scrap of fabric out of her pocket.] Mostly, um, they just ask for small stuff. So, whatever they ask for you, I-I'll get it. Least I can do.

[hachitaro]

I can help, though. I'm good at finding things.

[And he can fight using his illusions if he has to.]

[moontothetide]

I know you are.

[Hopefully, though, they won't have to. A skilled team they might be, put together, but they're also an exhausted one, hence the need for an emergency restaurant visit.

Fortunately, luck is on their side just this once. Taro is charged to get a flower from the meadow. Tara plucks it out of thin air and hands it over, along with a soft toy she'd busted open a Prize Pod for.]

[hachitaro]

[Oh. Oh good. Taro smiles at Tara, and holds his hand up for a high five.]

Nice work.

[He knows they won't always be this lucky, but thankfully they can just sit down and eat this time.]

[moontothetide]

[They won't always be this lucky, no, and Tara will eventually get sent after something that won't be summoned so easily and lose something as punishment for it.

But, that day is not today. Today, they can just sit down and eat some rather more upscale food, and recover their wits with full stomachs and spending some time with a friend.]

[hachitaro]

[Taro, for his part, is trying to be a polite eater, but he's having a little trouble restraining himself. It's been a while since he had good food like this. An entire rack of ribs disappears in short order, along with a beer.]

[moontothetide]

[Around about the time he downs the beer, Tara can't contain herself anymore. She presses a hand to her mouth, as much to avoid spitting out her half-chewed mashed potatoes as anything else, but it's obvious she's giggling.]

Y-You don't even look old enough to drink! And I-I don't know how you can eat that much without exploding! Your stomach must be a lot bigger than it looks.

[hachitaro]

Yeah, it goes to my secret pocket dimension.

[... After a moment he bursts out laughing.]

Okay, okay. No. Not really. I'm just really hungry. Since powers run off of stamina where I'm from, not some weird video game-y... thing... I do have to eat a little more than most people. I tend to get around it in public by carrying a few energy bars with me and claiming low blood sugar or something. And I'm over a century, I'm old enough to drink. Besides, sake's one of the traditional symbols of the tanuki anyway.

[moontothetide]

Among other things.

[Japanese demons as such, oddly enough, never tended to cause much difficulty in Sunnydale. That didn't mean Tara hadn't come across them in her search for other, more nefarious beasts.]

I-I don't really get hungry, when I use magic a lot. Just, um, sleepy. And headache-y.

[hachitaro]

Yep.

[Well there's that, at least...]

Well, don't wear yourself out too much. Do painkillers help with that kind of headache, or do you have to stop and rest for a while?

[moontothetide]

S-Sometimes it's the difference between, um, being up and about, or staying in bed all day? Mostly, though...nope. S-Sometimes it just, um, delays things. I've always seen the headaches as kind of a payback. S-Something you have to suffer for using that much magic.

[Still. Sometimes, it has a use. Willow had been stumbling and headache-y for days after teleporting Glory, but teleporting Glory had meant everyone walking out of the hospital alive.]

[hachitaro]

[He frowns, but doesn't say anything more on it.]

If only we could have this kind of food in the cafeteria all the time. It'd make things a little better, at least.