towerofanimus | [.001]

Entry tags:

[ou] naminé

[.001]

Characters: Naminé

Setting: Twelfth floor

Format: Starting this way, matching responders.

Summary: A new arrival discovers the twelfth floor. This is not exactly good for her world view.

Warnings: Angst, low self-esteem, tl;dr. In summary; those stairs are blocked by an outwardly calm but internally angsting teenage girl.

Naminé had read the letters, of course. It had seemed prudent, considering that there appeared to be no one around to explain why she had woken up in a bed rather than… well, she hadn’t known what to expect when she went back to Kairi, for all her attempts to be optimistic, but this hadn’t even been on the metaphorical list. At the very least, shouldn’t there have been fewer beds? Sora was the one who always had guests in his heart, after all, not Kairi.

The letters had proved informative, as they were no doubt meant to be, but….

Try though she might, it was just impossible to wrap her head around the idea that the worlds she knew no longer existed. If the Heartless had tried to destroy them and failed, then how could something nameless and faceless succeed? It was an utterly stupid notion, of course, but something in her just couldn’t quite let go of it… until now.

Her feet had prompted her to take the nearest exit, to try to find her way back to something she recognized or make sense of this world. It wasn’t the first time she’d woken up in a strange place, and so she had found herself calm, but understandably apprehensive. It hadn’t ended well, last time. Her search had yielded no fruit up until the point where she stepped down onto the twelfth floor of the tower.

Vertigo and a lurch in her stomach were instant, forcing her to a stop right in the middle of the stairs. Once her mind had managed to convince her body that she wasn’t going to fall, she began to take in her surroundings – and, more specifically, what was going on in them. She ended up feeling sick all over again.

All of those worlds, destroyed as easily as one snuffs out a candle.

Seeing it was much more powerful than hearing it. Watching this destruction, endless and absolute, tore aside her disbelief and replaced it with much, much heavier understanding. Everything that she’d ever worked for, everyone she’d ever known, met, or – impossible for her to admit to herself – cared for was gone.

Her knees went weak, but did not buckle; they, too, seemed to be in shock. Her face was ashen, her arms limp at her sides, her expression still frozen in place. The prickling at her eyes went unnoticed in favor of the tumult in her mind.

She’d been able to handle the idea of herself no longer existing as a separate entity (after all, she would be whole, wouldn’t she?) but the idea that Sora and Roxas, that Riku, that Kairi, Donald, Goofy, the King, everyone else were no longer— she couldn’t even think the word. She was no stranger to death and the threat of it, but still, still--

Why her?

Why her, of all people? Of all Nobodies? What right did she have to be spared? What purpose did she have, beyond finishing the duty to Sora that her failures had put upon her and then going to make Kairi whole? What was Naminé supposed to do? All that time she’d had the answers, or at least answers that she could make herself believe, but now… she was really and truly nothing, without purpose or tie.

Still, she did not break down. She didn’t know how to. She didn’t have the right to. Her body stayed motionless like the shell it was as she tried so hard to figure out whether she wanted to scream, or weep, or laugh, or if she really didn’t want anything at all. In the end, it probably didn’t matter what she did. The only thing that did was that one question, the one that someone else always answered for her.

What now?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The doctor had been right- there really wasn't any ice cream in the cafeteria. Most people would have left it at that, of course, if this was an acceptable situation. But he wasn't exactly understanding when it came to being held in a stupid tower and having his sweet tooth completely denied.

Or maybe he was just cranky because he hadn't slept in his room, and the couches could only be so comfortable.

Either way, he was pretty much stomping his way up the stairs, intending to finally just go crash in his bed and forego trying to handle the Eiji situation. But something made him hesitate, looking up as he got to the 'creepy space room', trying to gauge why he felt like lead all of a sudden.

It felt like his heart was in his throat.

What was she doing there?! Roxas froze completely, hand vicegripping the railing and praying to whatever that she hadn't spotted him yet. Was this another hallucination? Maybe he really was just having another weird dream all this time...?

Naminé heard the stomping up the stairs below, but paid them only enough attention to hope that its source would pass her by soon enough. She still wasn't sure what to do with herself, or how it would feel to meet someone in this place so soon after she'd lost everyone else she'd ever known. But the stomping stopped, and she listened carefully for it to start again. When it didn't... she couldn't help but wonder what had made whoever it was stop. Was she doing something wrong? Was it someone else who was seeing this room for the first time?

Hesitantly, she turned to find out, her eyes on the stairs until she was facing the right direction, at which point she raised her eyes to see--

All of the breath seemed to have left her lungs quite suddenly. Her expression grew shocked, but did little justice to the extremity of how surprised she actually was. She opened her mouth to say something, his name perhaps, but she stopped short, already too busy attempting to make sense of the fact that she was seeing Roxas standing down there even though he was supposed to gone.

A gut-reaction checklist went off rapid-fire in his head as it dawned on the blonde that she'd spotted him. Was reality still moving forward? There wasn't anyone else around to tell, but unless she was running the space simulator, nothing was frozen. Were those noodly monsters about? A slightly-panicked glance around told him they weren't. Nobody in cloaks? Not that, either.

With all that assured, Roxas took a step forward, hesitantly towards her, clearly wary and ready to bolt if the need arose. "You're the girl that knew my name."

He tried not to sound accusatory, but his bodylanguage said it for him.

She watched him quietly, and even before he said anything, she could tell that something wasn't right. The way he was looking at her was a good enough indication of that, and the glance around only encouraged that conclusion. Her expression was fairly inscrutable once she got hold of it again, because how could he be here? The letter hadn't said anything about anyone else being saved from the world they were in... but maybe-- no, it wouldn't do to get her hopes up. The way he was acting was definitely not making it easier to accept this new development.

When he took a step closer, she tensed slightly, wondering whether she should move closer, too. This dilemma was almost immediately made unimportant when he finally spoke. The girl's brow knit slightly. He seemed to recognize her... but why describe her that way? Didn't he... didn't he remember her name? The way he was standing, it was hard not to see that he was on edge. Her own confusion only showed slightly, along with a pinch of concern that was really only the tip of the ice berg. "What are you talking about... Roxas?" In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to include his name when he was so accusatory about it, but it just sort of slipped out.

She was proving very hard to read, especially for someone who was feeling a bit rushed to come to a conclusion on how to handle this development. He skirted the "wall" and kept both eyes on her, stopping finally when she said his name. It was almost impossible for him to hold his tongue.

"Did you have something to do with all this? Are you working with those monsters?!" It wasn't right to pin blame on someone he'd only seen once, but she was on the same level as that cloak guy- what was his name? -and the masked man. It took the remainder of his self-restraint not to pull on the collar, or his hair. "Tell me what's going on here!"

That... was not quite what she expected. Such an outburst made her frown, expression automatically becoming guarded and hiding her surprise. Why would he think...? Unless... he was still suspicious of her. Her frown deepened. It was true, he had every right to be, but-- before, right before they went back to their others, he hadn't seemed that way. "Roxas...." Suddenly the weight of her shame landed heavily on her shoulders. He was wise to be suspicious of her. She'd been involved in everything that had happened to him the last time he was trapped somewhere, so why shouldn't he think it was her doing this time. Her guilt started to leak into her expression, but still she said, "I don't know."

Because she didn't, and that was the honest truth, but she couldn't quite keep that shame all the way out of her voice until one of the things he'd said caught up with her again and, her surprise overwriting her guilt, she asked, "--What monsters?"

"How can you not know?" That was more exasperation than a true inquiry, his steam already running out just watching as her face hinted changing.

"Those- things, the gray noodly monsters. And those guys in the cloaks! Do you really not know?" He suddenly sounded very tired, rubbing his face with his hand. "Listen, I- I'm sorry. I'm just tired of being yanked around like this...being left in the dark."

"...." She wished she could answer, real question or not, but she didn't know what to say. All of this was just such a big mess. Her confusion only grew as he started mentioning what sounded a lot like the Organization. Watching him like this only made her 'feel' worse for him, especailly... especially that last part. She never told him everything, back then, about her own involvement. He'd had to have realized, of course, but still-- she'd never told him the truth, about how all of it was her fault, all her fault. And he was apologizing to her. She remembered suddenly when they'd spoken from across the table in the digital Twilight Town, how much she'd never told him and how much what had been said had hurt him. Some things... really were better left unsaid.

She found herself stepping down only another stair or two, cautiously. She was entirely uncertain how, exactly, she could help, but the amount of distance was suddenly unsettling to her, as if being closer would make it feel like there was less that she wasn't saying, less that was keeping her from helping him ~~and make it less likely that he'd really disappear for good~~. "It's alright, Roxas. You don't have anything to apologize for." The girl almost followed that with an apology of her own, but held back. "But... you aren't talking about the Organization, are you?" Because clearly there are other gray noodly monsters that hang out with guys in cloaks about, she's just never heard of them.

Those guys down at the local seven-eleven? Totally wearing cloaks, and hang out with noodly monsters.

He looked up from rubbing his face, standing his ground as she got closer, trying to breathe as normally as he could, despite being aware of it. Eventually, when she stopped again, he suddenly sprung forward, stopping at the bottom of the stairs and looking up at her. "What do you mean?" He was being rude, wasn't that something to apologize for?

"Wait, you do know something." His tone of voice was much softer, and he looked down at his sneakers. "I don't know about any organization. Is that who runs this place? The ones that brought everyone here?" Something stung the back of his head, but he ignored it. No way was he having any more weird daydreams when he was close to what was hopefully some answers.

Totally.

His sudden movement made her jump internally, but outwardly she only straightened slightly, watching him carefully but with a much less guarded expression than she might have had it been someone else. It was probably silly of her to allow that to be the case, especially considering his unsettling state and tendency to beat his problems to bloody pulps. She just couldn't muster an appropriate amount of fear, when it came to Roxas. Maybe it was because she'd spent too much time looking after him, one way or another-- she was so used to being able to keep an eye on him without being seen herself. As for his first question.... She took a moment to work through it before saying gently, "...You have every right to be upset. I know this must be hard for you." It's hard for her, too.

"What...?" He didn't know about the-- but that didn't make any sense. She hadn't done anything to his memories... at least not intentionally. There was no reason he shouldn't remember. That possibility, however, made his reaction to her earlier seem like part of something bigger than she'd thought. "No. At least, I don't think it was them. They're--" All gone. Or at least, so it had seemed. Some of them were champion death-fakers, after all. "...You don't remember them?"

"It wasn't them?" He felt a bit hollow saying that out loud, and turned away from her slightly, as if he was about to start pacing. He didn't. He wanted to ramble on- about how this place somehow reminded him of how that felt, but the words just didn't bubble up like he'd expected. Hell, he'd even kept that piece of information from Ven and the doctor.

"Should I?" He went over his last days with his friends over and over in his mind to know them by heart, but- suddenly, he jolted, turning back to her with confused eyes. "Wait! Both of those guys at the Struggle tournament, they acted like they knew me. Do you know what was going on with that at least?" She sure sounded like she knew something, and like hell he was letting it go.

The girl nodded her affirmation, even though she was a little iffy on the subject; after all, she hadn't been here long enough. Still, it... didn't seem quite right. This wasn't their style-- they were more focused than this. She observed him quietly, wishing as he turned away that there was something else she could say, and answer she could give.

To his second question, she nodded again, only more slowly. All of the pieces were quickly coming together, only the picture they were making was more confusing than the puzzle. "...Yes, I do, but... Roxas, you should know, too." She frowns, but her eyes are concerned. "I don't know why you don't." There's a tiny shake of her head as she says this, as if to echo the sentiment. She's quiet for a moment, trying to figure out how in the world something like this could have happened without it being her doing, or if it was her doing, how it could be that she didn't know herself. "What's the last thing that you remember? Before you came here."

"The last thing I remember before coming here...the gang and I went to go sit on the clocktower at the train station. I just won the Struggle tournament. I lost my balance, and..." He sat down on the bottom most stair, turning sideways and counting off on his fingers. One or two of them had colored string wrapped around them. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's been more than a week since then, but it's hard to keep track of time. And..."

He found it difficult to say 'die', still. "...I was out for a while. I only woke up a few days ago. I think I worried Ven or something." With his attention off his fingers, he glanced back up at Naminé.

"You know my name, but I don't know yours. Who are you?"

The girl listened intently, staying put when he sat down and for some time as he spoke before gingerly making her way down the stairs and sitting down on the far side of the same step, careful to maintain what she hoped was an appropriately large distance that would keep her from spooking him. All of this was concerning, but by now not unexpected. The mention of Ven made her raise her head; had she heard right? Ah, but it was silly to assume, even if it wasn't the most common of names. Her expression was calm, unoffensive, but slightly grim as she listened, but at that last question, she could not help looking away and down at her hands, which were placed on her lap. "Who am I...?" There was just a hint of a tone like she was asking herself that, too.

Her eyes grew sad quite suddenly before she could stop them, but she forced the look away and raised her head again. She raised one of her hands to press it against her chest, but this time, instead of an open palm, her fingers were curled inward. She made a successful attempt to smile and a not so successful one to keep that smile from looking weaker than she wanted it to. "My name is Naminé." What to say next, though, was much more difficult. She bought herself some time by lowering her hand again and clasping it with its twin once more. "But... as for who I am...." How to explain that? Better yet, how to explain it without scaring him off? The way she'd done everything at first had gotten the job done, but in a less kind way than she'd hoped. She'd almost wished, back then, that she could find some way to do it over. Now that she had her chance, she wished she didn't have to. "...It's complicated." It could wait, couldn't it? The most important thing was to work out what was going on with Roxas. "Roxas, I think that you... may be missing some memories." She was tempted to take a look at his memories herself, to work everything out that way, but... to do such a thing, especially when she was looking him in the face, when he'd just said how he was tired of being manipulated and left in the dark, just seemed... cruel, even if her intentions were good.

"...Naminé." He tested the name, nodding in approval and tugging at the liliac-colored string on his finger. Hopefully he'd remember. Roxas could be forgetful, with names especially, but then again, he doubted there was anything about this situation he could forget.

Complicated, he could accept that for now, he guessed. Roxas pulled his knees closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and watching Naminé very carefully. Some strange part of him was wary, but worried about her- Rox couldn't understand why, and did his best to shoo the feeling away. Maybe he knew her too?

"Missing memories?" His guts seemed to twist, and he shifted in obvious discomfort, looking anywhere but at her. Why was he suddenly so anxious? He'd been the one asking her for all this information. He dwelled on it a moment longer, before holding his hand out, and doing his best- it still took an obnoxious amount of effort -to summon Kingdom Key, watching it as if it was going to do tricks. "Does...it have to do with this, too?" All he could do was try to tie all the weird threads in his life in to one giant knot. "Aqua, she has one of these. Ven, too. They acted like it was a big deal for me to have one, something about wielders and such. I don't remember anything like that." He was eager to dismiss the key, shaking his hand out when it was gone, as if getting rid of germs. This entire discussion was just making him feel queasy and sick. His motion suddenly slowed, and he looked up.

"...maybe I forgot for a reason. I'm not sure I want to remember."

She gave the tiniest of nods that he'd gotten her name right, but otherwise was quiet and unintrusive as he continued his questioning. He obviously wasn't comfortable with this, and she couldn't blame him. The only thing she could do was try to make it as easy as possible and do her best to keep her expression as patient and encouraging as she could manage. The arrival of the Kingdom Key was unexpected, but elicited no response other that a slight widening of her eyes. The mention of those two names together, though.... She couldn't help but suck in a breath that she hoped he didn't hear. She'd meant to answer his question and started to open her mouth to, but that last part stopped her. Pausing, she swallowed and looked away, her hands tightening around each other.

"...Maybe." It's quiet and thoughtful and, she hoped, gentle. "I could answer that question," The 'but' is practically audible before she even adds it. "...but... some things are better left unsaid." She almost sighed, but stopped herself. That would not be helpful. She had to be encouraging. Encouraging. "I'll tell you what I know, if you want to hear it, but... if you're sure that you don't want to remember, then I..." For the time being, at least, she could let him have this, couldn't she? She could let him think he was always free, that he was always safe, couldn't she? After all, in this situation, there was no reason to tell him save in the interest of full disclosure. Why not let him have the peace he'd never gotten before? "...Then, that's okay, too."

"...just, tell me one thing." He heaved the sigh she herself had held in. "This all does add up, right? I'm not just...paranoid, or crazy?" As long as he wasn't going mad, then to hell with all this business. "If it's important, then...well, it can't be important here. We're all stuck here. So it can wait." He mumbled a 'yeah' under his breath, but that didn't sit right with him either. He was finally able to just ask someone what the heck had been going on, with the pictures and the monsters and that stupid key...and he felt wrong, do or don't. Somehow it just didn't seem fair.

"Oh. And, don't tell anyone else about this." He shifted, straightened his legs, then rose, walking closer to Nams, holding his hand out to help her up. "I don't want them thinking I'm weird. C'mon, this room makes me uncomfortable."

"Hm?" Naminé raised her head slightly at the first sentence, watching him sigh. The next part made her all the more sympathetic, if that was possible. She was quick to reassure him, smiling slightly as if he was only being silly, although her concern lingers behind the smile. "Of course not, Roxas. You're perfectly sane." Well, you know, as much as a Nobody can be. As for the information being able to wait, "Yes. It can wait until you're ready." And she found herself almost hoping that time would never come.

She blinked at his request, tilting her head. "I won't. Don't worry." Her muscles tensed just slightly as he stood up again, and the offered hand left her staring. ~~It was ironic, considering part of what he didn't remember contained.~~ It wouldn't do to hesitate too long, though, so she gingerly placed her hand in his larger one. The last time an Organization member lead her somewhere, it hadn't ended well, but it was easy to forget that that title applied to him, since he'd cast it off so thoroughly. "I understand." It was about both of those statements, of course, because both were quite understandable.

He was cautious to close his hand around hers, but that wore off when he saw one of his strings around his first finger. Apparently, that was enough to give him the last push he needed to a much calmer attitude.

"Thanks." He looked out, at the descending stairs, and frowned. "I dunno if you've eaten yet...there's not anything good there anyway." Roxas had to stop himself from complaining about the lack of icecream. "But, it's better than standing here. The cafeteria's all the way on the bottom floor, though, so it's a bit of a walk."

...he was going to have the most toned legs. Someday he'd be able to heelflip without even flexing his knees.

"You're welcome." It was sincere, and just a little bit happy. It was just so... odd, but wonderful, to finally get to be around him without anything getting in the way. The thought of their possibly destroyed world(s) was still a heavy one, but... if he was here, wasn't there hope for the others? And it wouldn't do not to smile for him if she could. Ironically enough, her thoughts began to stray just slightly, but when he said something again, her attention snapped back. "--Oh, that's alright. I haven't eaten anything, but I don't mind if it's not very good." She'd never really had much choice in her diet; she had to eat what she was given or nothing at all, so she usually chose the former. It was clear she didn't get much to eat in the first place, if her weight was any real indication. "...How many floors are there?"

Yep, and she would never have looked better in that dress... unless her legs snapped off or something, which might haven been a possibility with those things.

"I think you have to eat oatmeal first for some reason...it tastes like cardboard." His optimistic attitude towards the food aside, he was happy to release her hand once she was standing properly, lest things get awkward. He didn't know her- er, currently? After all. Man this was strange.

It took him a moment to try and count the floors, ending up unsuccessful. "When I first arrived, I think there were only ten. But now there's...fifteen...? Fourteen? And we're not very far down." A deep sigh. And he'd just walked up all those stairs not that long ago. "I think there's an elevator, but we're not allowed to use it. I'm tempted to just try and skateboard down the steps one of these days." Its Roxas "Tony Hawk", he could totally grind down the entire tower, somehow.

She made no effort to stop him from letting go, and once her hand was free again, it and its twin clasped each other loosely. "Cardboard?" She seemed to be considering this, and not in a particularly disgusted way. ~~She's probably had worse.~~ "...What does cardboard taste like?" Like cardboard, Naminé.

Naminé tilted her head, brow knitting slightly. "They're still adding to it?" Funny, she didn't see or hear any construction. That's a lot of floors, but Castle Oblivion was pretty big, itself. Of course, she hadn't exactly been allowed to roam freely, so the descent ahead of her would no doubt result in achy legs and general discomfort, but she was not about to complain. "Won't you hurt yourself?" It wasn't that she doubted his skills, really! It was just that that was a looooot of stairs ~~to kill him self on~~. "...And then you'd have to go back up again, anyway."

"...good question." Come to think, has he ever had cardboard? Huh. He was just used to saying that. Best not to dwell on silly things like that, especially since neither of them apparently had the luxury of chewing on a box.

"It sort of just...happened. Like, this floor wasn't here at all during the blackout." Not that he was around during that either, but. Rox cringed as he began walking, walking slow enough to keep at conversation pace. "But when I woke up again, there were a bunch of new ones. Nobody I've talked to knows what's going on."

H-have some faith in his mad skillz, Nams! "...probably." Or, he was well aware that skateboarding down fourteenish flights of steps was a bad idea. "Maybe we can just get in the elevator somehow...these weird people get on and off them sometimes."

She actually seemed to be seriously considering this question. Clearly it was a very good one. "...Really bad, probably." K-kind of a given, Naminé.

"Hm...." Naminé was quick to follow and careful to make sure that she didn't stray... or trip, which was a serious danger with this many stairs. "Maybe someone's using magic." It made the most sense. She hadn't heard of any magic going quite that far, but that didn't mean it didn't exist. There were some powerful magicians out there, after all. --Wait. "...Blackout?"

She does, she does! That doesn't mean she can't worry about his wellbeing, especially when he's considering stupidteenageboy stunts. :C She decided to forgo voicing her discomfort with the idea of doing something that they weren't allowed to do, because despite her occasional rebellions she was well aware it was usually a good idea to keep one's captors happy enough that they didn't feel the immediate need to eviscerate you, she's also not comfortable with shooting down his idea when it's still likely to be an idle musing. "What weird people?"

"...I'd hope it'd taste bad." How many times had he stepped on a piece of a box? What if it had been secretly delicious all this time?!

"It could be. There's a lot of people with weird powers here, so I think anything is possible." He sounded a bit deadpan, but that surely had nothing to do with the whole being frozen thing. No way.

"Yeah, there was a blackout. I didn't see or hear the specifics, I was out skateboarding when it happened. And I was...out of it when it got resolved. You'd have to ask someone else." Roxas was totally not avoiding that talk, either. He is a bastion of being upfront about his feelings.

It took him a moment to try and word how to describe the other people in the tower. "I think they work here- their collars are usually red or blank-" At that thought, he realized he hadn't looked at hers at all, and felt suddenly very awkward about looking. "-and they don't act human. More like...machines."

~~And we're walking, and we're walking...!~~

It feels so weird to be doing this

Whatwhy? Because never any Namines ever?

That and all the D_Ming. GDI Rox you can't 4thwall here.

:3c Misbehaving muse?

No Rox, down boy, we have to be professional now.

Maybe you should invest in a spray bottle.

Well, it is headcannon'd that he can't swim...

Which amuses me terribly because I've headcanon'd that for Namine for the longest time.

They can totally be the goobers at the pool who sit out B]

Or sit in the kiddie pool. Or drown, whatever. XD

They can wear tons of armwings and goggles. |B

Sounds like a plan. :|b They would be the biggest dorks ever and it would be glorious.

This totally has to happen, its so beautiful man.

Yes, yes it does. I WILL BE CANOOOOOOOON or fanon, whatever.

>Be everything. At once.

L-lol that was supposed to be 'it will be' dfjgbgjdfkdf typos. ;A; I just now noticed. orz

Now now, this is a no orz zone. :B

:O orz-- wait no that's countereffective. /un-orz?!

Is the opposite of an orz a o><?

Maybe. o>< o>< There, I made up for both of them. \o/

<o/ <o> \o> oh geez what am i doing

Dancing most epicly? \o> <o> <o/

<o> <o/ <o> \o> <o> untz untz untz subject rave

\o\ <o| |o> /o/ \o/ \o\

/o/ |o7 \o/ <o\