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towerofanimus2011-08-21 09:13 am
lethechained.livejournal.com) wrote in towerofanimus2011-08-21 09:13 am
Entry tags:
[.001]
Characters: Naminé
Setting: Twelfth floor
Format: Starting this way, matching responders.
Summary: A new arrival discovers the twelfth floor. This is not exactly good for her world view.
Warnings: Angst, low self-esteem, tl;dr. In summary; those stairs are blocked by an outwardly calm but internally angsting teenage girl.
Naminé had read the letters, of course. It had seemed prudent, considering that there appeared to be no one around to explain why she had woken up in a bed rather than… well, she hadn’t known what to expect when she went back to Kairi, for all her attempts to be optimistic, but this hadn’t even been on the metaphorical list. At the very least, shouldn’t there have been fewer beds? Sora was the one who always had guests in his heart, after all, not Kairi.
The letters had proved informative, as they were no doubt meant to be, but….
Try though she might, it was just impossible to wrap her head around the idea that the worlds she knew no longer existed. If the Heartless had tried to destroy them and failed, then how could something nameless and faceless succeed? It was an utterly stupid notion, of course, but something in her just couldn’t quite let go of it… until now.
Her feet had prompted her to take the nearest exit, to try to find her way back to something she recognized or make sense of this world. It wasn’t the first time she’d woken up in a strange place, and so she had found herself calm, but understandably apprehensive. It hadn’t ended well, last time. Her search had yielded no fruit up until the point where she stepped down onto the twelfth floor of the tower.
Vertigo and a lurch in her stomach were instant, forcing her to a stop right in the middle of the stairs. Once her mind had managed to convince her body that she wasn’t going to fall, she began to take in her surroundings – and, more specifically, what was going on in them. She ended up feeling sick all over again.
All of those worlds, destroyed as easily as one snuffs out a candle.
Seeing it was much more powerful than hearing it. Watching this destruction, endless and absolute, tore aside her disbelief and replaced it with much, much heavier understanding. Everything that she’d ever worked for, everyone she’d ever known, met, or – impossible for her to admit to herself – cared for was gone.
Her knees went weak, but did not buckle; they, too, seemed to be in shock. Her face was ashen, her arms limp at her sides, her expression still frozen in place. The prickling at her eyes went unnoticed in favor of the tumult in her mind.
She’d been able to handle the idea of herself no longer existing as a separate entity (after all, she would be whole, wouldn’t she?) but the idea that Sora and Roxas, that Riku, that Kairi, Donald, Goofy, the King, everyone else were no longer— she couldn’t even think the word. She was no stranger to death and the threat of it, but still, still--
Why her?
Why her, of all people? Of all Nobodies? What right did she have to be spared? What purpose did she have, beyond finishing the duty to Sora that her failures had put upon her and then going to make Kairi whole? What was Naminé supposed to do? All that time she’d had the answers, or at least answers that she could make herself believe, but now… she was really and truly nothing, without purpose or tie.
Still, she did not break down. She didn’t know how to. She didn’t have the right to. Her body stayed motionless like the shell it was as she tried so hard to figure out whether she wanted to scream, or weep, or laugh, or if she really didn’t want anything at all. In the end, it probably didn’t matter what she did. The only thing that did was that one question, the one that someone else always answered for her.
What now?
Setting: Twelfth floor
Format: Starting this way, matching responders.
Summary: A new arrival discovers the twelfth floor. This is not exactly good for her world view.
Warnings: Angst, low self-esteem, tl;dr. In summary; those stairs are blocked by an outwardly calm but internally angsting teenage girl.
Naminé had read the letters, of course. It had seemed prudent, considering that there appeared to be no one around to explain why she had woken up in a bed rather than… well, she hadn’t known what to expect when she went back to Kairi, for all her attempts to be optimistic, but this hadn’t even been on the metaphorical list. At the very least, shouldn’t there have been fewer beds? Sora was the one who always had guests in his heart, after all, not Kairi.
The letters had proved informative, as they were no doubt meant to be, but….
Try though she might, it was just impossible to wrap her head around the idea that the worlds she knew no longer existed. If the Heartless had tried to destroy them and failed, then how could something nameless and faceless succeed? It was an utterly stupid notion, of course, but something in her just couldn’t quite let go of it… until now.
Her feet had prompted her to take the nearest exit, to try to find her way back to something she recognized or make sense of this world. It wasn’t the first time she’d woken up in a strange place, and so she had found herself calm, but understandably apprehensive. It hadn’t ended well, last time. Her search had yielded no fruit up until the point where she stepped down onto the twelfth floor of the tower.
Vertigo and a lurch in her stomach were instant, forcing her to a stop right in the middle of the stairs. Once her mind had managed to convince her body that she wasn’t going to fall, she began to take in her surroundings – and, more specifically, what was going on in them. She ended up feeling sick all over again.
All of those worlds, destroyed as easily as one snuffs out a candle.
Seeing it was much more powerful than hearing it. Watching this destruction, endless and absolute, tore aside her disbelief and replaced it with much, much heavier understanding. Everything that she’d ever worked for, everyone she’d ever known, met, or – impossible for her to admit to herself – cared for was gone.
Her knees went weak, but did not buckle; they, too, seemed to be in shock. Her face was ashen, her arms limp at her sides, her expression still frozen in place. The prickling at her eyes went unnoticed in favor of the tumult in her mind.
She’d been able to handle the idea of herself no longer existing as a separate entity (after all, she would be whole, wouldn’t she?) but the idea that Sora and Roxas, that Riku, that Kairi, Donald, Goofy, the King, everyone else were no longer— she couldn’t even think the word. She was no stranger to death and the threat of it, but still, still--
Why her?
Why her, of all people? Of all Nobodies? What right did she have to be spared? What purpose did she have, beyond finishing the duty to Sora that her failures had put upon her and then going to make Kairi whole? What was Naminé supposed to do? All that time she’d had the answers, or at least answers that she could make herself believe, but now… she was really and truly nothing, without purpose or tie.
Still, she did not break down. She didn’t know how to. She didn’t have the right to. Her body stayed motionless like the shell it was as she tried so hard to figure out whether she wanted to scream, or weep, or laugh, or if she really didn’t want anything at all. In the end, it probably didn’t matter what she did. The only thing that did was that one question, the one that someone else always answered for her.
What now?
no subject
She is the sneakiest ninja that ever dressed in white"I know it's not exactly a normal thing to happen. But then again neither is someone showing up and then disappearing for ten years." Was that a hint of a joke in his downtrodden mood? Seems to be."...Hey," Ven began his sentence, sitting up from his lying down position so he could actually look at Naminé properly without hurting his neck. "Not that I'm not thankful-- because I am!" She had told him after all, and was nice enough about it. "But...how do you know all this stuff?
no subject
She's so sneaky that she doesn't even LOOK like a ninja, which is what all those other guys always do wrong.Her eyes shifted again to consider him at that joke attempt, not certain what it was herself but rather hoping that it was indeed something like a joke. The 'hey' made her raise her head slightly, questioning. The tiny quirk that was starting at the edges of her lips at the thanks disappeared as he finished his question."That's..." Exactly the can of worms she was hoping to avoid opening, because fully explaining that would lead to yet another can of worms, which would likely only make him feel worse about his situation. How was she supposed to tell him about everything else that had happened, to Aqua and Terra? If that was anyone's place, it was Aqua's. Naminé was still not as clear as she could have been about the details, anyway. As for her own involvement-- admitting that here, to anyone, was something she was rapidly becoming convinced was not a good idea. Even if it was Ven, it would only cause problems; after all, it wouldn't have been surprising if he innocently let something slip. So the best explanation to give seemed to be, "... complicated."
no subject
A ninja wearing blue sandals?! Brilliant Brilliant BRILLIANT!Ven felt kind of bad when any trace of a smile had disappeared, but he was just curious. She apparently knew a whole lot more about his situation than he knew about it after all. ed that."Complicated?" Well, he anticipated that much. A lot of stuff in his life seemed to be complicated, but that just hurt his head thinking about it. "What do you mean?" Seems like he's not giving up until he gets an answer.
no subject
See, exactly. They're so terrible for any kind of physical activity that clearly no self-respecting ninja would ever wear them.If she could have given the same answer, she would have. She knew he deserved SOME kind of explanation, and she couldn't bring herself to even seriously consider outright lying, but... what, then? What was she supposed to say?Perhaps the truth, in a broad sense. It may as well have been no answer at all, but at least it could be used as a warning. "...Some things are better left unsaid." That didn't necessarily mean they would stay that way.
no subject
And yet they would be wise to adopt this stratagem.This reply just led to Ven looking the most annoyed it was possible for him to look; which is mostly a combination of confusion and displeasure instead of all-and-all annoyance."How come?" Admittedly he...well, hadn't taken the news well, but it was even weirder thinking about how he had gone for the time he had not knowing something like that. Not to mention how long Master Eraqus had lied to him...!
no subject
For stealth, yes. For actually being able to move, not so much.That expression was not at all one that she wanted to see. Had it been an easier thing to discuss, she would have. Her own expression was apologetic, even as she tried to figure out what to say to appease him. Hopefully, what she came up with would be enough."Ven, sometimes... knowing certain things might put someone else in danger. Maybe even you." There was something guilty about the way she stared down at her hands. She also had a question of her own, although she did hesitate to ask it. "And... now that you know, are you... happy that I told you how long you'd been asleep?"
no subject
Maybe that's why they wear those funny sock-...shoe, things,they can change easily and it's easy to hide them in a bag or something."Put someone in danger?" That quickly turned his face around back to a frown. He kind of wanted to know (assuming there were others besides himself) that could hurt them, but maybe that would just lead to even more...possible danger. Hm."..." Ven looked up at the question, but looked back down again in thought. No, he wasn't happy to know, not really. Ten years of his life was gone, and hadn't even known it. But... "...Yes. I don't like it, but I'm glad I know." He finally decided on saying. "Before I was asleep I was scared to death of what would happen to me until I started fighting. At least...I know what happened, sort of."
no subject
Probably, probably."Yes." Her voice was quiet. So much of this was a matter of 'if's. She raised her head at his answer, not surprised, exactly, but definitely studying him. After a moment, she said, "...I'm glad that you feel that way." She paused, her mouth still poised to add something else, but a second later she closed it.no subject
"I guess it sort of brings up new problems...." But regardless of his tone, Ven gave a weak smile. "But I would've had to find out eventually, right?" Looks like that optimism was back in whatever minute amount at least. He looked at her curiously when it looked like she was going to say something else, but otherwise didn't press it.
no subject
As for his question, "...Let's just say... that the reason I know what I do is something that has caused-- a lot of trouble, and hurt a lot of people." The shame on her face was obvious and she knew it, so she bowed her head and hoped to hide that expression from his view. Her body language betrayed her as her hands clenched each other and her shoulders rose almost protectively, like someone expecting to be hit. "Now that I'm here, I... I just-- I need to make sure that that never happens again. To do that, I have to make sure not to tell anyone what it is."