001- What a wonderful first day!

[wweh]

Characters: Eridan Ampora & YOU
Setting: Dorm Room 3-06, Cafeteria and the hallways and stairways between.
Format: action brackets
Summary: Eridan's first day...
Warnings: Possible Violence, and language.

[That was a hell of a nightmare. The sound of chainsaws echo through his mind, slowly turning into the smashing and rumbling of the Giant Space Whale's onslaught. Aw, hell. That certainly wasn't a pleasant awakening. For that matter, where the hell was his recuperacoon, and where the -hell- was his awesome clothes? This was so drab and certainly not him. Well, at least wherever the hell he was, they were kind enough to at least give him some info. He places the glasses that were conveniently on his nightstand and reads his letters. Of course his world was destroyed. If they had gone along with his plan, they could have at least saved something!]

What the fuckin' hell! How the fuck can it be all fuckin' gone in a matter a' seconds...

[Best not to think about it. He shrugs. His stuff is in that chest, right? Maybe if he can just reach into it and....yeah, as if his morning couldn't get worse, it's covered in rubble. Not much, but enough to make it not fucking worth dirtying his hands to get at. He'll get it another time, he supposes. Time to figure out how to get around here... After a few moments of hanging around, he attempts to leave the dorm room, and make his way through the hall towards the elevators. He feels incredibly stupid not arming himself, but putting himself in a dangerous situation and being a damsel in distress is a perfect conversation starter!]



[Yep, Eridan went the wrong way down one of the hallways, and is faced with various bruiser-style monsters... I'm lazy, so you can pick whatever he's up against. Whatever makes it cooler for your character, he's up against that. They're kind of blocking his way, and fish is on the menu! This will probably happen several times on his journey through the tower.]

Fuck, can't a troll get acquainted with a new fuckin' place without havin' to strife! Can we just like... call this off and battle another time? I'm not really prepared or anythin' an' if I was you'd be fuckin' DEAD. Killin' things like you has kinda been a way a' life for me an' believe me I got so many overpowered weapons you'd have had no chance. Consider it me showin' mercy on your pathetic asses. Not that I fuckin' have any flushed interest in any a' you ugly things. You're pathetic in a totally platonic way. Total platonic pity. Now just step aside, I'm just as hungry as you are an' I need some nourishment. You're kinda in my way...
[Nope, they just trudge towards Eridan...Who promptly attempts to abscond. Cue chase scene. Insert appropriate music here while Eridan runs, scared for his life. He can't back it up ever.]




[Obligatory first meal. Can't have giant fuckin' space whales without getting some kind of nourishment. He doesn't care if there's shit going on, he wants food, and he wants it NOW!]

Hey! I want some fuckin' service in here, I don't care what's goin' on, I'm hungry, an' I want some fuckin' FOOD.

[Cue bowl of oatmeal.]

Oh, so is this what you humans call fuckin' food? You expect a violet-blooded troll like myself to eat this pauper garbage? Get it the fuck out a' my face.

[After much complaining and finding out no one is really listening or caring. He sits down and enjoys his meal. As much as someone can while there's bullshit going on. Feel free to bother him.]

Comments

[chronomancer]

You'll figure it out, eventually.

[He snorts.]

Where're you goin', princess?

[wweh]

...Prince.

I was gettin' pretty hungry. If I'm gonna be facin' a shitty fuckin' day I don't want to do it on a' empty stomach. Nothin's as important as me gettin' nourished. Everythin' else comes after.

[chronomancer]

Huh. That's almost reasonable.

[He tilts his head to gesture Eridan he should start walking.]

Entitled as fuck, but reasonable, I'll give you that. C'mon, it's a fuckin' long way down.

[wweh]

[He follows behind, but not enough to show that he's being shown the way by a lower caste. Story of his life, really. Why were Jadebloods so good at this shit?]

So... with the horns an' the symbol I'm guessin' you're me.
Unless you're really tryin' to copy my style. Wouldn't be blamin' you in the least if you were.

[chronomancer]

[Because the jadeblood genome is coded around two things: Get Shit Done and Efficiency, Motherfucker, Do You Speak It?]

Copy your style. Right.

[That was a very pointedly derisive snort.]

Nah, I'm you. Alternate universe, timeline, bullshit thing. There's a few 'a us around. There was an older you around too, a while ago, but if you're here now, that means he's gone.

[wweh]

So you're one a' those alternate me's that Fef was tellin' me about...

[He laughs. he was right about the douchebag thing. Though he guesses this Eridan isn't all that bad.]

An' older me? What was he like? Do I live up to my ancestor's name?

[chronomancer]

He was alright. People liked him alright and he even got a matesprit here.

[Eridan shrugs.]

Then again, he never played the game. That's probably why he wasn't that fucked up over all.

[The vague smile he's wearing drops abruptly at the mention of Eridan's ancestor. And then he reaches a hand for Eridan's shirt and all but shoves the seadweller into a wall, arm pressing up against his throat. Eridan snarls in his face.]

Let me tell you about your ancestor, little glubbing fool. If you like living, you won't take after him. Because if I find you start resembling that ungodly sac of shit, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you so fucking much, you'll beg them to stop bringing you back.

[He shoved harder.]

I fucking cheered when he left. I don't want to deal with Orphaner Douchescar 2.0, the fanboy version. So I won't. And if you think I might have any fucking qualms about killing my self, you know jackshit about Time players.

[Then he stepped back.]

Are we fucking clear, Princess?

[wweh]

[Wait, a version of him being alright? Eridan's pretty surprised by that. Maybe there is hope for him, after all... Though he's taken by surprise by the sudden shirt lift. At first, he's got spades in his eyes... but those are quickly shot down by the threat of death. This wasn't any sort of blackflirting... this was true hate. Eridan let out an audible gulp. The last thing he wanted was to be killed by himself.... multiple times. He then weakly nods as best he can...]

Oh god...Y-yes. I'm clear.... an' its p-prince.

[chronomancer]

Walk.

[Is it me, or temperature dropped ten degrees the last ten seconds?]

[wweh]

Y-yes!

[Most embarassing moment of his life, right here. He picks up the pace. The footsteps really don't help his own awkward silence... after awhile, he steps up]

S-so you're a Time Player?

[chronomancer]

[Eridan grunted. He wasn't usually this... violent. Or threatening. Or competent. It's all his current anger management problem. Sorry.]

Yeah.

[He sighed. And made an effort not to antagonize Eridan further.]

Not the best thing that's happened to me.

[wweh]

Least it's better than bein' the Hope guy. I mean what the fuck does Hope even DO? I wish I were a Time guy. Could go back and be playin' my cards better.

[chronomancer]

I swear I'm going to shoot the next asshole that says that.

[Eridan's tone was rather resigned. Then again, he had a gun in hand.]

You don't get to play your cards better, you get to play them the way Paradox Space wants you to.

[A small pause.]

And you get to die. A lot.

[He gave Eridan a significant look.]

[wweh]

[Eridan doesn't like the sound of that. Dieing is his least favorite thing. Especially because he's pretty sure that before he came here he was staring death in the face.]

What good are fuckin' time powers if you can't even use them to actually help shit? I mean I'd certainly be usin' it to at least make sure I don't fuckin' fuck things up with Fef. Start on a better foot, let my intentions be better known, an' all that good stuff.

So you just use your powers an' hope that's the way they're supposed to be played?

[chronomancer]

I make sure things go the way they should. And when all fails, well, you throw corpses at the problem and that usually takes care of it.

[Eridan shrugged.]

It's just... everything about the game is also about predestination and estable timeloops and paradoxes. So being a Time player is being given a stick, a horde of wet purrbeasts and told to herd the lot into the electrified fence at the other side of the world.

[Eridan snorted.]

And the godtier is red. I like red, but honestly. It's ridiculous.

[wweh]

Not really too much a' fan a' the color.

[Eridan listens intently.]

So you just die until you fuckin' fix a problem? Doesn't sound too excitin'...

I just do... stuff... with Hope. Either way I have "wwhite science" at my side, an' a fuckin' OP rifle. I can tell if all hope is lost or somethin'.

[He really wishes he knew what to do with his role, in all honesty.]
I'm pretty sure whatever hope is, it's gotta be a shitty fuckin' color.
Better not be yellow. Fuckin' hate yellow.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan frowned, and asked, rather sweetly:]

What's wrong with yellow?

[Somewhere in the tower, Equius Zahhak might or might not have sneezed.]

[wweh]

It's the blood color a' one a' the damned, dirty assholes I've got to be puttin' up with.

Guy just knows how to get under my fuckin' skin. In addition to bein' the most annoyin' yellow blood you'd ever know he stole my moirail....

Besides if you ever talk to the kid you feel like you're gonna be showered in his spit. As if he wasn't annoyin' enough...you'd think with how much he does this he'd see the chemistry between us. Nope.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan listened the tirade and hummed politely here and there, and then thought carefully how to reply to that.

He told himself slamming his shovel into Eridan's face was too... visceral. Unsightly.

Instead, he offered Eridan a very malicious smile.]

Funny, that.

[And waited, teasingly, like someone who has a secret and is dying to share it but won't unless prompted.]

[wweh]

[Yeah, Eridan's sweating now.]

What are you implyin' with that look...I've seen it before...

[chronomancer]

Funny thing is, I think I know who you're talking about.

[Eridan shrugged casually.]

Sollux, eh?

[He smiled innocently.]

Funny thing is, where I'm from, him and his less gracious half, Captor, they're all about fins and gills and that ungodly shade 'a violet you call blood. Funny world, eh?

[wweh]

Hit the nail on the head there...You're good.
[then, it hits him.]

Wait. So he's my blood color in your world?

EVEN IN OTHER FUCKIN' UNIVERSES, HE'S DISGRACIN' ME.

[chronomancer]

[Eridan snickered.]

Far's I'm concerned, it seems like you two're serendipity.

[Eridan often preferred his sarcasm heavy-handed and unmistakable. But on occasion... well, on occasion he was quite capable of being subtle. So subtle it almost sounded genuine. He had a feeling this version of himself was too egocentric to take notice of it.]

Equius is the yellowblood in our session.

[He paused a moment, and offered, very tersely, very politely, very significantly:]

Good friend of mine.

[wweh]

[Eridan grins at that.]
You're smart enough to see when somethin's meant to be. If I had to choose between him an' rekindlin' a blackrom with vris it'd be a difficult decision.

Eq's a blueblood in ours. He's creepy an' touchin' him makes you feel like you need a good trip to the ablution chamber. I can't even imagine what he'd be like as a yellow...

[chronomancer]

I'm frankly surprised anyone would choose black with your Vriska, when you could just shoot the bitch in the head.

[Yes. Well. Eridan didn't like Vriska much. He cleared his throat.]

I've met your Equius. Didn't strike me as the kind of troll you go around touching.

[Eridan shrugged.]

Mine's... less sweaty. Less muscled, too. But it's okay, because he's got good friends, looking out for him.