Ken Amada (
miseris_socios) wrote in
towerofanimus2012-08-27 11:09 pm
Entry tags:
little child be not afraid;
Characters: Ken and Shinji
Setting: Room 1-12
Time: Evening
Format: [Action for I am lazy.]
Summary: Ken decides he needs to tell Shinjiro some things.
Warnings: Mentions of deathand gross sobbing from me?
[Ever since their encounter during the space whale thing, Ken's been thinking about things.]
[He's been thinking about a lot of things, and he's decided that he needs to talk about these things with the person they concern.]
[That's why Ken heads down the hall from his own room and lifts a hand to knock on Shinjiro's door.]
Shinjiro?
Setting: Room 1-12
Time: Evening
Format: [Action for I am lazy.]
Summary: Ken decides he needs to tell Shinjiro some things.
Warnings: Mentions of death
[Ever since their encounter during the space whale thing, Ken's been thinking about things.]
[He's been thinking about a lot of things, and he's decided that he needs to talk about these things with the person they concern.]
[That's why Ken heads down the hall from his own room and lifts a hand to knock on Shinjiro's door.]
Shinjiro?

no subject
If it's Jin you're looking for,
he's off looking at robot pornhe doesn't come much in the room anymore.no subject
one day he will be nearly as tall as youand shakes his head.]I was looking for you, actually. Do you have time to talk?
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- Dah hell are you on?
>Sure why not]
...I'm going on patrol. You're free to join me.
[He has no idea what you want to talk about exactly, but at least he's not saying no.]
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tsundereways.]Sure.
[Well he does always carry his spear with him, so.]
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[You are wise in the ways of Shinjiro, young grasshopper. He goes down the levels where the Persona are ineffective slowly, sometimes looking over at all the ruined stuff littering everywhere. What a waste.
The monsters haven't started to appear, but they'll do that soon. For now, they have a bit of quiet time.]
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[How to even start this? ... Well there is one way. With the two hardest words anyone can ever say.]
... I'm sorry.I'm sorry for trying to kill you. I'm sorry for trying to track you down. And I'm sorry for what you went through.
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[Shinjiro had no idea what he was expecting Ken to say, but this was definitely not it. He nearly falls off the step he was walking on and trips breaking the silence in half. His legs feel woobly and the guilt of what happened resurfaces like a terrible memory. The nightmare of Castor might be over, but it still doesn't excuse anything...so why was he...
Tch of all the time that damn idiot had to say something like this...he has to sit on the steps. Thankfully, these aren't dangerous like the ones that are higher.]
Sit down. Now.
[He doesn't care that you're on his team or not. You are taking a seat.]
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I know that sometimes things... happen, when you have a Persona. Sometimes things go out of control. And I... I was wrong to try to kill you. I don't think you would have done something like that on purpose. You're not that sort of person.
[He's not Takaya. He's not malicious.]
[... He's just a scared or worried kid like him, isn't he?]
[He can feel something untwisting in his chest, like a gear starting to go forwards instead of straining backwards.]
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[His voice is shaking. ]
I don't...I don't deserve this. Look I...no matter how it happened, it ain't right...I killed your mother. I took a human life. [He looks down at his hand and closes his eyes.] I can't forgive myself for it, and you as hell shouldn't be. When I accepted my Shadow, I knew that. It's a dark part of me that'll always be there.
[It's a conversation he never thought he'd be having. At least not here. Not with this Ken either.
The remorse he felt about everything after was inconceivable. To condemn someone else to be an orphan like he was. To be forbidden to talk about it. How he had wanted to be painfully just normal back then...living the next few years like a ghost awaiting his sentence. It was only through Minako's care that he realized life's purpose but...
...that still didn't make it right.
He knew that, and had accepted it. Part of him knew that, even all those years ago. Had Ken ever seen the roses left in small glass bottles that showed up at least once a month?]
Even if you saw what happened during those dreams, I still can't...Ikutsuki didn't let me talk about it...I quit SEES. I should have just talked to you, but it then but I couldn't...I was a coward...
[He speaks as if this was his own Ken. Did it change any? He was waiting for you to kill him so you could go on with your own life.
Forgiveness was never part of his agenda.
Minako had made him realize the importance of living, but even now, he couldn't accept this.]
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... But neither does what you were putting yourself through. You've suffered enough. We both have.
[He's scared. He's still angry somewhere deep down... but it's not at Shinjiro anymore, not really. It's more at the whole damn charade they have to play, to keep things under control.]
[It's not right.]
I... I want to make things right. But you don't deserve to die... and I don't think she would have wanted you to die either. She definitely wouldn't want me to be a killer... especially not because of what happened during an accident.
There's not enough Persona users around to protect everyone, here or at home. We don't need to waste time and energy over... over things we should have resolved years ago, or trying to kill each other when they don't deserve it.
... If you really want to make it up to me - to make it up to her - then you'll keep on living. I'll be trying to do the same.
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Whatever. You never could act like a kid, could you...
[Is that...is that a smile?
WHAT THE FUCK?!]...but your mother would be proud to hear you say that.
[I'm incredibly proud to hear you say that.]
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[He smiles a little back.]
... Thanks. I... I want to try to move on, and do what's right...
[... He's feeling a little weird though. Nemesis is suddenly very quiet.]
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not that he'd tell him. Especially in a conversation as heavy as this one is.]...you alright?
[Obviously he's not, but making him talk is a good way to find out what's wrong.]
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[Ken's silent as she disappears, and takes a deep breath. Nemesis… changed?]
… Um…
[… Well then.]
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Tch. Is that how it's supposed to happen?
Congrats. Although it's not the same one as the Ken that I know...makes sense, considering.
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[He's still not sure what just happened. He listens for a moment - she's much calmer than Nemesis.]
Her name is... Dike? I think.
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[OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT my god he's not good at this shit, okay.]
He had Kala-Nemi. Never got to see anyone change, just woke up and everyone had new ones.
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Well we're not the same person. I mean... I guess we sort of are but we had different things happen to us.
[It's weird sob.]
... We should get moving. Patrol won't do itself, right?
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[Beating things up - perfect bonding time.]