towerofanimus | pull out the first cord

Characters: Gamzee and YOU.
Setting: Over several floors. You can pick where you run into him.
Format: Starting in prose. Will match anything.
Summary: Gamzee wanders, believing he's attached to the machine again.
Warnings: Typical troll pottymouth + bonus. Also most of my icons are kinda cruddy placeholders right now.

It feels real enough. He'll give it that. But then, it had always felt real to him. There were times he wondered if he'd ever actually been removed from the program at all. Perhaps they'd just let him feel like he had while still keeping him securely under their control.

This was a little silly, though. Even for them.

Gamzee had found his clothes, changing into them gratefully as that tight white outfit just wouldn't fly. He even wore the straight jacket, buckles hanging loose and long sleeves falling past his hands as his arms hung at his sides. In a way, he likes what it stands for. And here even that is a small comfort.

Cal's arms are looped around his neck, tied in a simple knot so they stay in place, and the doll hangs down his back. His silent partner. He takes everything in as he quietly walks the halls. What's left of the sedatives from the ward make him appear a bit dazed, but they'll wear off soon enough.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Feferi wasn't one to flinch away normally, but her idea of normal had changed enough that the way Gamzee was looking at her made her shrink back a bit. She cursed herself inwardly for it a minute later, knowing it was only a reaction based on her own issues.

She started to apologize for it, but then he grabbed her chin. It wasn't that it hurt, but it surprised her. She was used to clownhugs, not this distance. Even when she had seen Gamzee in a similar state before, there wasn't this sense of holding people at arms' length. The words were confusing, but she wasn't sure how to feel about the distance.

Feferi let him take a step or two, blinking, before asking: "What the shell did they do to you?"

Aw, that was sweet. Now she was dripping concern where he'd have no choice but to slip all up in it. That was harsh. He had a bit of a weakness for that. A sigh escaped him, and he tilted his head back to stare up at the ceiling.

"This ain't real, sis. None of it. You, me... we're all strapped the motherfuck up in a machine somewhere, being spoonfed whatever all they want us to see right into the brainmeats." He shrugged, long sleeves making the gesture somewhat comical. "That's the crazy, right there. Take it or motherfuckin' leave it. I'm done with it."

"I wish it weren't real."

The words were out of Feferi's mouth before she could stop them. "I really wish it weren't. I don't want either of those situations to be real."

She paused, stopped, looking down. "I wish we were both free. Because either way, this is no kind of prison anyone wants to be in. It sucks."

"Long as you got these horns all up here," he gave the top of his head a tap, "you're still right all where they motherfuckin' want you. You gotta take everything you ever got to know as right and flush it on down the drain. Makes it easier to break on out, you dig?"

And maybe if he kept believing that hard enough, it would be true.

There wasn't a whole lot Feferi could say to that, not at first. It would have even been a reasonable explanation to her months ago.

It had been too long and she had seen too much for it to make sense anymore.

"It's not so eelsy as all that, not here. I've been filleted, sliced apart, sewn back into my own skin, even died once.

I didn't want to be the one to have to be the one to say it, but...I think you broke out of their cage and somehow got trapped in this one."

He wanted to believe her. He really did. Even if he was trapped someplace new, he would at least be experiencing things in his own body, not surrounded by some fantasy that wasn't even taking place.

But he just couldn't - not as long as she stood before him in that gray skin. There were no trolls, and to try and get him to believe this story while she still looked like one would just be an exercise in futility.

"Sorry for whatever all's happened, sis. But I just can't get my motherfuckin' belief on for none of this. At some point you'll get to be understanding things too."

pull out the first cord

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