gAmZeE MaKaRa ♑ terminallyCapricious (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hystericull) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2012-08-31 02:52 am
hystericull) wrote in towerofanimus2012-08-31 02:52 am
Entry tags:
006 ♑ [sixth honk]
Characters: [OU] Gamzee and [OU] Tavros.
Setting: Floor 35.
Format: Action that may or may not be tl;dr in nature.
Summary: Awkward post-makeout, post-meltdown alien teenage boy conversations.
Warnings: Gamzee's mouth. Secondhand embarrassment to the moon and back.
[Gamzee had never been on this floor. Ever. He was slowly beginning to regret this fact, actually. After his fucking embarrassing freakout, the only options he could see for himself were: a. superglue himself to Karkat for the rest of his life, and b. sit somewhere far away from people and just stay the fuck out of everything and everyone's business.]
[Since Karkat was nowhere in sight, one could safely assume this to be Option B.]
[The reason he'd been regretting not visiting this floor sooner was because, well, it was the closest thing to home that he could remember. Sure, the lake was no ocean, but it was water, and there was sand, and it would do. Fuck, it would have to do. Instead of staring out into the endless horizon, he stared down at the seemingly endless floor of the water. He was tucked away, sitting as close to the water as he could without getting himself soaked, peering down into the lake absently - much like the staring he used to do, only bereft of any sort of wonderment or sleepy enthusiasm, instead replaced with infinite listlessness, and a permanent frown etched on his naked face.]
Setting: Floor 35.
Format: Action that may or may not be tl;dr in nature.
Summary: Awkward post-makeout, post-meltdown alien teenage boy conversations.
Warnings: Gamzee's mouth. Secondhand embarrassment to the moon and back.
[Gamzee had never been on this floor. Ever. He was slowly beginning to regret this fact, actually. After his fucking embarrassing freakout, the only options he could see for himself were: a. superglue himself to Karkat for the rest of his life, and b. sit somewhere far away from people and just stay the fuck out of everything and everyone's business.]
[Since Karkat was nowhere in sight, one could safely assume this to be Option B.]
[The reason he'd been regretting not visiting this floor sooner was because, well, it was the closest thing to home that he could remember. Sure, the lake was no ocean, but it was water, and there was sand, and it would do. Fuck, it would have to do. Instead of staring out into the endless horizon, he stared down at the seemingly endless floor of the water. He was tucked away, sitting as close to the water as he could without getting himself soaked, peering down into the lake absently - much like the staring he used to do, only bereft of any sort of wonderment or sleepy enthusiasm, instead replaced with infinite listlessness, and a permanent frown etched on his naked face.]
no subject
... You can't do this, right?
[ His voice was low and somewhat- understanding. ]
You can't be with me. Not in a red quadrant, anyway. You're so terrified of 'hurting me' and yet by thinking this way, you're-
[ No. Enough. Stop it.
He kept his eyes on the ground, barely open at this point. There was nothing but silence from his end, and that hand Gamzee was so desperately holding it remained motionless, unresponsive to his touch. The anger was slowly melting away and is replaced with nothing but numbness. It didn't hurt anymore. He couldn't feel anything. It was somewhat ... peaceful, calm. He didn't understand what is happening, but he's not fucking complaining.
He allowed his lashes to fall shut, and he stayed this way for a torturing minute or two, and after that- he shifted to Gamzee's side, resting his head on that bony shoulder of his and maneuvering that large horn behind them. He took in a deep inhale throughout his nostrils, chest rising and then falling with an easy sigh. He didn't say anything for another few seconds, merely curling his fingers around Gamzee's, giving him a gentle, very frail, squeeze. ]
I love you, brother.
[ Whether it was in a flushed way or simple friendship, he did truly love him. He never felt this way about anyone in his entire life, and regardless of all his anger and frustration ... Tavros knew he cherished that troll, and he'd stay helplessly in love with him for a very long time. The question is: Did he love him enough to stop being so fucking selfish? Did he love him enough to remain by his side at all times? To accept and embrace his change? If he truly cared about him, he shouldn't be saying all sort of hurtful things and make him that upset.
He messed up again.
His other hand joined in, resting on top of their tangled fingers, giving a reassuring stroke. He sucked in a breath before finally pulling his head away, swallowing thickly, but he kept holding into that hand. ]
I don't know ... I don't know what to do. I-
[ He looks at Gamzee, desperately trying to utter the right words. Say something that would offer some ease for them both. Say the right words to end this! But, he knew he couldn't do it. ]
Karkat?
I should .... get Karkat. You'll feel better ... around him, right?
no subject
I... I don't know. I don't. I--
[Oh, fuck. Tavros was right. He really did need Karkat. Truth was, he'd needed him for a fuckig while now. The time they'd spent together, while calming in the moment, did nothing to sort out the cacophony of shouts echoing between his ears. He relished the warmth those hands had given him, surrounding his own freezing one. He'd pressed his face into that overgrown Mohawk before it was pulled away.]
I love you for always, brother. Loved you always, will keep on feeling like that way for always motherfuckin' more.
[He sniffed his nose, unapparent to whether or not it was because he was getting overwhelmed, or if it was just an involuntary action.]
I just wanna be all at close to your fuckin' self, you know? We bros, bro. We'll be workin' this shit the motherfuck out, we all fuckin' will.
[Work it out. This wasn't their last moment in the Tower. They didn't have to decide anything final right this second. Just... take it slow. Things need time to heal. Be his brother first, everything else second.]
Just... it'll be okay, Tav. It all'll be fuckin' wicked. Promise.
no subject
Yeah, uh, okay. Okay, brother.
[ He smiled a little. A part of him wanted to be comforted by Gamzee's words, but he knew -considering how things are going- they wouldn't be able to go far. He really didn't enjoy being so negative. I mean- it would be nice to look on the bright side, wish for more and have that sense of anticipation that makes you want to persuade your goal. However, he had to be realistic and acknowledge that he needed to focus on what is best for them, and not on what he wants.
For now, however, he decided to put that subject aside. Not discuss it and simply- move on. It all comes down to Gamzee at this point, and he's completely fine with that. ]
It's all good, my friend. Let's just ... leave it at that, for now, and ... uh, try to have some fun while we're at it. Be bros, you know? Heh.
[ Yeah, that's all they can do now. Tavros didn't want to talk about it anymore, only because they somehow managed to ease some of the tension between them, and it was .... good. Things were finally decent, and he was so terrified of fucking it up again. Based on that, he decided it was the perfect time to excuse himself. And so, he held into that hand again, guiding it up and he ... gently pressed a kiss against the back of those lean fingers, more in an apologetic manner than affectionate. ]
... I should leave, though. [ He cleared his throat as he released Gamzee's hand, shifting to the edge of the bed and standing up. ] I, uh, need to rest. I'm not feeling very well, and I don't want to .... say or do anything that might upset you again.
I will, uh, visit you later. If you want? To check on you, so-
no subject
[He watched as Tavros placed a kiss to the back of his knuckles, felt the searing purple flare up in his cheeks and his everywhere, deepening even further after he'd realized that there was no facepaint to hide it... again. Held his breath as he watched him rise from the bed, eyes never straying from each action. He was just about speechless. He didn't know what was going to happen, or how this would effect them, but he was going to see it through, no matter what it was. His tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of his mouth, which was subsequently filled with wet cotton.]
[After just a moment, Gamzee cleared his throat, scrambling to the edge of the bed, bracing himself to stand as well, then... relaxing his muscles to remain seated. His eyes lifted to meet Tavros', a tired smile stretching across his lips.]
I'll motherfucking get my find on of you, bro. No worries.
[After they'd said their goodbyes, Gamzee's tongue plastered itself upwards again as he watched Tavros walk across the room. Watched him turn the doorknob, gave him a wave as he slipped through the door and continued staring at it as it fell shut with a click.]
[That was when he felt his heart hurt, slumped over until his forehead touched his knees, until he was staring at nothing but his twisted, useless ankle. He stared at it for just a second before it blurred, and drops of lavender cold began to drip onto his bare feet.]