[OPEN] alas, my children

[andajarofdirt]

Characters: Jack, Jack & you.
Setting: Floor 42
Format: Starting action, but I'll match you either way.
Summary: In which Jack - the monkey - is being a pest, and Jack - the pirate - wants his goddamn hat back. 
Warnings: Jack Sparrow being Jack Sparrow. Also, creepy undead monkey and potential shooting of it.

JACK!

[Captain Jack Sparrow does not usually scream. Or screech. Or lose his cool, composed air of sophisticated pirate lord. In other words, he's usually too busy pretending to be drunk to do much, really. But sometimes a man must take a stand. Sometimes, there's a monkey involved. Sometimes, a hat is in danger.]

Bugger all, you little pest. I'm gonna shoot yer brains out, see if I don't!

[Sometimes, when an undead monkey steals your hat and runs away into a floor made of shifting, moving bars, you think "oh god, why" or "I bet you all this is God's way of getting back at me about the priest thing" and "I really did think it was a brothel, mate, it's a common mistake to make!" When you're Jack Sparrow, though, the reaction is more along the lines of profuse pirate swearing before chasing after it. Into the bars. Which is where your character will find him, balancing around half drunkenly, moving along and trying to reach the monkey with the hat, pistol at hand. He can't shoot the monkey because then his hat will fall off, but he can certainly chase it.

You know, for someone who's supposedly drunk off his ass - how!? - Jack has an uncanny sense of balance, able to run and jump and otherwise chase around after the undead, chittering monkey with relative ease.]

I will make bullets outta your bones, Jack, to make up for the ones you make me waste!

Comments

[immortalia]

[ Wait, what was this? As she was going to get materials for a variety of projects, Sertoria noticed Jack running after...a monkey. Normally, she wouldn't bat an eye at the behavior, but she does notice that Jack - the human - was losing his composure.

Welp, now he has her attention. So, she'll place her items down and run after the both of them to where the room was. She stops before she falls down, though, and observes the both of them squabbling. ]

...Jack? Do you request assistance?

[divinitysoiled]

[There's a lovely dark woman watching this happen. Catarina came to explore, wondering what kind of tower this place was. She didn't expect to see a scruffy man fighting with a monkey, though it was quite amusing to watch. Her hand came up to her mouth as she laughed, not even bothering to get involved]

Ah, humans.

[andajarofdirt]

[Monkey and pirate scramble about, balancing on the bars and running around the room in circles. Jack doesn't stop when Sertoria appears or speaks.]

Got it covered, darling, don't worry your pretty head about it.

[And then he dives, and misses and slides and twists his body until he's holding onto the bar, scrambling up to his feet as it started to shift. The monkey chittered loudly, amused at it.]

Laugh while you can, yeah, I'LL GET YOU YET.

[andajarofdirt]

[Jack pauses, balancing on the bar and swaying back and forth.]

Lady, what kind of men you spend time with, if you think that is human?

[As if to answer, Jack jumped up and down in place, holding tight onto the hat, and screeched.]

[immortalia]

[ Sertoria will sigh and decide to jump and balance all of her weight flawlessly on the bars as if she was an acrobat. She soon comes to where Jack is and looks down at him. ]

Perhaps my assistance is required. Maybe the monkey will reply to positive reinforcement instead of negative.

[andajarofdirt]

[Jack rolls back to his feet, swaying again.]

Sure, you do that. But I reserve the right to stand here and laugh loudly when it doesn't work.

[Jack for his part, makes himself pitiful and small looking, clutching the hat and curling in a corner of the room, big eyes looking at Sertoria.]

[immortalia]

You would be surprised how much positive reinforcement does work.

[ Oh, my. Is that sass coming from her?

But, nevertheless, she'll jump over to where Jack the Monkey is and kneels down to his level. ]

If I give you an apple, will you please give me the hat?

[andajarofdirt]

Not with that monkey. He takes after Hector.

[Jack grouses darkly, glowering a little at the scene. Jack, however, does not disappoint, he seems to consider his options for a moment, making a face at her and screeching rather loudly, before it took off towards another side of the room. Jack snorted.]

I don't think that's working, Doll.

[scorchedchivalry]

[Saber was exploring the Tower and stopped at the entrance to the floor to watch this odd sight for a few moments. The knight in black armor was... amused.]

How is it that a monkey bests a man?

[immortalia]

Who?

[ Explain more on these pirates. She's taken back slightly by the screeching and covers her ears. Ow, ow, ow... ]

Slight aural damage done to audio input. Shifting input to 85%.

...Does he always do this?

[ She'll stand up and reconsider her options. Maybe being stern was better. ]

[andajarofdirt]

The fool who owns him.

[Jack snorts, expression grim. That's good description of Barbossa right? It doesn't dwell into unpleasant, complicated facts.]

I'm just borrowin' him, I guess, since he appeared here with me.

[Jack snorted again as the monkey made a sound not unlike a laugh, jumping up and down in place, clearly taunting Sertoria to catch him.]

And yes, he's always a bloody rotten pest.

[andajarofdirt]

[Jack slides and sways on a bar, stepping into another as he goes, effortlessly keeping his balance.]

Now, love, don't be hasty, no one has bested no one.

[Jack chittered loudly, as if to protest.]

You shut up, no one's talking to you.

[The monkey made a taunting sound and Jack glowered at it.]

I will shoot you, see if I don't, I will shoot you and the entire damn Tower will cheer.

[scorchedchivalry]

I am afraid I must side with the monkey. It is leading you on a foolish game of chase, possessing superior agility.

[andajarofdirt]

You misunderstand.

[Jack offers a dashing smile.]

The only thing it's doing is asking very nicely to be shot.

[scorchedchivalry]

[That dashing smile is met by a pair of cold pale yellow eyes. Jack's charms may be better saved for another.]

Then shoot it.

[andajarofdirt]

So I will, when I don't risk ruining my hat.

[He makes an annoyed sound as Jack jumps up and down, completely undeterred by her cold attitude. Jack Sparrow is a charming pirate and you, lady, will just have to Deal With It.]

[scorchedchivalry]

And again, we return to the foolish game of chase you are engaged in.

[The black knight kneels down and holds an armored hand out to the monkey. She's curious if it'll come to her, knowing her alignment is evil.]

[andajarofdirt]

Lady.

[Jack tried again, sliding and turning until he was facing her, arching an eyebrow at her. The monkey, meanwhile, seemed interested, but not particularly afraid.]

It would not be foolish if you were engaged in it, but you are not so it is, though one wonders if it wouldn't still be if you were, given the events that unfold when one does not engage what is to be engaged and proceeds instead to miss the point.

[Taking advantage of the distracted monkey, Jack has been casually approaching, stepping off the bars with unnatural ease and keeping his tone even as he moves.]

Careful with it, it bites.

[scorchedchivalry]

[She shifts her gaze to Jack, unimpressed by that rambling.]

Did that even make sense to you?

[She returns her attention to the monkey, beckoning for it to come to her.]

I believe it bites only those that it does not like. [And she's wearing metal armor.] And do not call me 'Lady'. I am a knight.

[andajarofdirt]

Well, of course it did, love, otherwise I wouldn't have said it. It's bad form to just babble nonsense.

[He gives her another winning smile as the monkey sways its head, pondering.]

You believe wrong, love, it bites what it can reach.

[And if as to prove his point, Jack threw out its jaw, the exact moment Jack shot it in the head, sending it flying away. He swooped in, leaping the last few feet and managed to grab his hat before it fell below, even as he was left unceremoniously sprawled on the bar. He sighed and pushed himself up, making a spectacle of himself as he planted the hat back on his head.]

You can be a knight and a lady, you know, they aren't mutually exclusive.

[For his part, Jack screeched in annoyance, jumping up and down the bar and baring its teeth at Jack. For all the tantrums it had, the monkey didn't particularly enjoyed getting shot, but it wasn't like it hurt it at all.]

[scorchedchivalry]

[Saber doesn't flinch at the spectacle she just watched. All she did was raise an eyebrow and beckon the monkey to her again.]

Come here, monkey.

[And then back to Jack the man...]

Calling me 'lady' implies I am a woman. I would prefer you not to do so. I am a knight and thus my gender is meaningless.

[andajarofdirt]

[Jack sighs and shrugs.]

Well, have it your way, love.

[He hangs puts the pistol back into his belt and his hands on his hips, watching the proceedings carefully. He's not shooting the monkey again if it tries to bite her. The monkey considers approaching, giving her the wide-eyed look that generally snares others into thinking it's the victim here, chirping quietly.]

[scorchedchivalry]

Call me Saber.

[She knows better than to be taken in by the monkey, but she's clad in armor and any attempted bit of it would only end up with it bouncing off of her and possibly hurting itself.]

Come here, monkey. He will not shoot you if you are with me.

[andajarofdirt]

You can't know that.

[Jack muttered snidely, frowning and folding his arms over his chest in a tantrum. Then he nearly slipped off the bars and cursed. Meanwhile, the monkey approached tentatively, slowly. Careful and clearly waiting an attack. Poor, poor abused monkey, huh.]

[scorchedchivalry]

If you have any sense of self-preservation, you will not shoot it while you're with me. Your bullet would most likely ricochet off my prana and potentially embed itself into you.

[Saber had seen many odd creatures here at the Tower. Her most recent was a cheagle, so this monkey was at least a form she was more familiar with. When the monkey got close enough, the armored hand of the knight moved to stroke the top of its head.]

Come, little one. It is beneath me to injure a creature such as you.