towerofanimus | identity wank ahoy

"...well." He knew this was going to be more difficult than earlier, but he just couldn't spit words out at all.

"I was just talking to Aqua. I hope you're not mad, but I was asking her questions." The second string was in the process of being yoinked from his pinky. "...someone on the network brought up that you and I might be alternate universe selves, like those trolls or whatever."

Ven gave a small chuckle. "Why would I be mad at you for asking Aqua questions?" Silly derp didn't realize that the question had been about him. Other than that, he was perfectly fine with his friends talking to each other.

"'Alternate universe selves'?" He repeated with confusion. And what was a troll? "What do you mean?"

"...I was asking her about you." Honesty wasn't the best policy, but he imagined Aqua was going to discuss matters with Ven herself, so no use lying.

"Alternate universe like..." Roxas put on his think face, closing his eyes to try and visualize this some. "Like. Let's say you were going to go somewhere, but had to flip a coin to decide where. In one alternate, you would have gone to the first place...in the other you'd have gone to the second." The only reason he could explain that specifically was because of how many times he'd had to explain weird movie concepts to Hayner, but like heck he was getting in to that. "So, something might have happened in your childhood or something, that made you exist the way you do...but if you had dome things differently, you'd be a different person."

Roxas was well aware that he was wording this horribly, and opened his eyes to look a bit distracted. "We both look alike. We both have keyblades. We sound alike, too. We even dress similarly. This can't be a coincidence." Rox tilted his head to the side. "Where did you grow up?"

"--Y...You were?" He, admittedly wasn't sure how to react to that, other than a bit of shock. Given the context of the situation it wasn't that outlandish of a concept but...still...unsettling.

Ven listened attentively as Roxas attempted to explain things. He didn't entirely get it, but he...sort of grasped the concept. "So...you think you and I are the same person with different childhoods?" He chanced.

The similarities were astounding when Roxas presented a laundry list like that (and the last item even lead Ven to glance down at his outfit for a minute), but at the question, Ven froze, frowning. "U-Uh... I, don't remember," He answered, quickly looking away. He was a pretty bad liar, but hey, it wasn't entirely a lie...!

"I don't know if our childhood would be completely different, but...something would be. There's always a pivot moment for this stuff, I think." Frankly he wasn't sure he completely wanted to grasp it either, so that made two of them.

Ven's hesitance to answer was pretty obvious, and Rox deadpanned almost. "You're a horrible liar." But, instead of really calling him on it, Roxas shifted, bringing his knees up. "...I'll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours. I'll go first, okay?"

"Pivot moment..." Ven seemed to be thinking about this. He...well, he certainly had a general moment in mind. Thinking about it made his insides squirm a bit.

He looked back at Roxas when the other called him on it with an ashamed frown. He wasn't too crazy about talking about it even if Roxas shared but...well, he guessed it sort of made him better. His arms were dropped between his outstretched legs lacklusterly, but he gave a slow and hesitant nod in agreement.

Rox cast Ven a sidelong glance, sighing and turning to stare ahead. This was going to be fun.

"...I tell most people that I grew up in Twilight Town, but...that's only half true." He squirmed a bit himself, never knowing how to place himself while talking about serious subjects. "Namine, she said I was...missing some of my memories. I don't know how she knows, or how much, but enough." A breath; "...to be honest, I only remember a few days before I ever came here. But I thought knew Hayner, Pence, and Olette...and I just felt like I belonged with them. The more I think back, though, that's as far as I can go." It felt like some taboo, to voice that out loud. He'd never dared let himself dwell on it, much.

"...I just woke up in Twilight Town and went along with it. But, I'd have blackouts, and I'd wake up suddenly in my room, when I was in the middle of doing other things...people were trying to take me away for some reason, and none of my friends could even see them. They kept talking about the keyblade, but I don't remember where it came from, I just...had it. I didn't want to think about all the things that were going wrong, back then. I tried to ignore them or play them off." He finally looked back at Ven, feeling just as weary as he had earlier. It was easier and more rational this time around, but talking about all that still felt...wrong. His insides sort of felt sick. "But...it doesn't feel right to run away from it, any more."

Ven listened as Roxas began, and as the (sort of a) story went on, his face lost any unease at his own plight and grew into surprise at hearing what Roxas was saying. He certainly had no idea why Roxas would be like that, but... Was his inability to remember far back not similar to his memory block when he started living on Land of Departure four (--er no, it was 14 now) years ago? But, people the others couldn't see? What was that about?

"...The people you were seeinng... I guess they might have been Heartless. They know about the Keyblade." He didn't even remember he remembered the word Heartless. But he wasn't sure it was possible for them to be human. "But if you just woke up there, I think, maybe you were supposed to be there. Even if you weren't there before." He added, with a small smile.

"What're those?" Rox frowned, obviously not recognizing the term at all. "They had cloaks- black ones. The one guy who tried to talk to me...he's actually here." The awkward was almost palpable. "He- I don't think he's, bad. I don't know, I just have a feeling. I think I know him, too." He hung his head, sort of regretting opening his mouth about that one. "B-but there was another man- much older, I don't know his name -he, made me nervous for some reason. Apprehensive? Like I'd tried really, really hard to forget him."

He scowled a bit at the 'supposed to be there', giving a shrug. "I guess. It's all I can remember, and I miss it. That's normal, I think." Maybe. Right? "...what about you?"

"They're creatures of darkness." He said simply. Upon hearing further description, he didn't really think there was much of a correlation (besides the black clock), but it was worth a shot. "To be honest, I don't really know that much about them. They're not common in the Realm of Light." Oh if only.

Ven looked a little more surprised to hear one of these people were in the tower. He didn't have much to say on the other stuff, other than finding it odd that he'd been able to force himself to forget someone, apparently.

"...." Ven look down at his hands and fidgeted a bit, but finally began talking. "I.... To be honest, I really don't know where I was born. I grew up with a man named Master Xehanort-- my...mentor." He seemed at bit sad at his own clarification. "It was just the two of us. We lived in this really big house with a library and everything. I never really saw anybody else around where we lived. But he would always take me to an abandoned area of the Keyblade Graveyard to train. That's, how I know about the Heartless. I fought some and he told me about them.

"When I was eleven, something...uh, happened." The details were admittedly still pretty fuzzy, but he just plain didn't want to get into that. "I remember I didn't have any memories except my name, and the Master took me to my second mentor, Master Eraqus. I trained under him, and, I didn't see Master Xehanort again for the next four years." He was already looking pretty uncomfortable while he was explaining, but by the end he was actually looking distressed, still avoiding eye contact. Mostly because he did not want to talk about the X-Blade stuff and Vanitas. Or even remember it.

"What's with all that light and darkness stuff? Aqua brought it up too." Oh gosh a KH character who doesn't know about Light and Dark, aaahhhh.

"...I'm sorry." That he made him bring it up, since Ven seemed so obviously bothered by the discussion. "Aqua mentioned Xehanort when I was talking to her. She said he ruined your lives." He felt like a tattletale, but what else was he supposed to say? "You don't have to talk about it, though."

A sigh, and he hugged his knees. "I guess we can't really confirm anything then, huh."

"That's how the World's split. There's a Realm of Light, and a Realm of Darkness. Most Keyblades come from one or the other too." Ven started, looking at Roxas this time. This stuff was easy and it was his duty to educate a fellow KH character. "We live in the Realm of Light. Your Keyblade is probably from the Realm of Light too, and the hearts of all the worlds are made of light. The Heartless come from the Realm of Darkness."

"...It's OK." He added as an afterthought, looking away again but not deliberately avoiding eye contact this time. "M-Master Xehanort.... He's the one that unleashed the monsters on the World that Terra and Aqua left to fight." He seemed pretty good with just leaving it at that for now.

Ven looked at Roxas when he sighed, looking a bit crestfallen. "Well... I know we both have Keyblades, but yours is completely different than mine. I know you can change their appearances, but you don't know how to do that, and mine's never looked like yours." He offered finally, after a bit of thought. And finally, a small laugh. "Besides, you're too much of a stick in the mud to be me."

"The world?" You're just, confusing him even more. "So...there's a realm where monsters come from...? Really?" His skepticism seemed pretty high, but it was coming from Ven, so he was accepting it more than he would have from anyone else.

"So, this Xehanort guy unleashed the monsters...? Is that what you guys do, fight monsters?" If he recalled- which was sort of funny, him trying to recall -right, Ven hadn't recognized his description of those noodly gray monsters he'd fought back home, so that was a moot point. "Do they look like anything...? Or, can they change? The monsters that attacked me always came about when the Keyblade did, so maybe they are related after all."

Huh. Apparently they could change? "Maybe that has something to do with the pivot point, I mean, if that's even possible." He's ignoring that stick in the mud comment, you jerk. "Like...I don't know any Xehanort, but maybe that's why we're different. You'd have become a different person if you didn't know him, right?" His imagination was running away a bit, but he wanted to think that clearing out all possibilities was the only way to truly conclude an investigation.

"Maybe we should look at ours side by side, something might stand out then. I've never really looked at yours, anyway." And with ~~that gay statement~~, Rox summoned Kingdom Key, laying it on the ground before him and actually, for probably the first time, looking at it.

"Oh. That's what Master Xehanort called the collective of all of the worlds," He clarified, sighing a little and chucking. "It confused me too, actually." And of course, he nodded. "Yeah. The Realm of Darkness attacks the Realm of Light. That's how Master Eraqus taught me."

"Yep! Keyblade Master are supposed to protect the Realm of Light." He added with a happy nod. "Uh...actually I wasn't supposed to go. Only Terra and Aqua were." Herp da derp. "Hm...I dunno if the Heartless can change. The ones I fought were always black and sorta humanoid, with really long, crooked antennae," Ven described, hunching over a little and making his hands as if they were claws in a poor imitation of a Neo-Shadow.

"Huh...I guess that makes sense. Maybe since you would've awakened later, your keyblade looks different?" After Roxas had summoned his, Ven summoned Wayward Wind, bringing his right hand far to the left so it wouldn't materialize in Roxas' face. He set it down next to Kingdom Key, and pulled out the keychain to Lost Memory.

"This was what my Keyblade originally looked like, but I've...been able to change...it..." He trailed off as he stared at Roxas' keyblade, the keychain dangling loosely in his hand at he stared in interest...and then awe...and then horror.

It couldn't be.

"...I feel like I should be taking notes." Rox hung his head and ruffled his hair, basically giving up on all this light-world-monster business. "Aqua said she would help me learn this stuff if I wanted. I guess I will have to take her up on it." Maybe she would do ridiculously ~~cute~~ imitations of monsters, too.

"How do you change it-...?" Ven's trail off made Roxas lean forward, peering at Ven in the other's line of vision, barely resisting waving a hand infront of his face. "Ven? Are you okay?" It took him a moment, before he almost got excited, moving so he was actually kneeling infront of his doppelganger. "Did you realize something?" He actually seemed almost excited, oblivious to the horror and all.

"....." Ven just continued staring at Kingdom Key, almost oblivious to Roxas' handwave. It looked...looked so much like the two keys that crossed on the X-Blade. But there was no way. Was it possible for the X-Blade to be split in two? Ven had destroyed it, hadn't he. Vanitas was gone. Then again the X-Blade was made from two people clashing was...was it, possible. No it wasn't possible that didn't even make sense.

He jumped from shock when he saw Roxas enter his line of vision, but once again his flight reaction took precedent over everything. He got to his feet and ducked around Roxas, taking a moment to grab Wayward Wind and running off.

Roxas was, well, stunned and confused when Ven suddenly got flighty and darted off, surprised for a split second at how damn fast he was. But Rox was soon chasing after him, abandoning the key where it lie in favor of trying to chase after his roomie.

"Ven, what is it?!" Why was he running away? Did he forget something...? Aqua had said all that stuff about taking out his darkness or whatever, did this have to do with it? "Slow down! Tell me what's wrong!"

He was able to sort of catch up, but his stamina wasn't going to be able to hold out if this became an out and out chase scene.

~~Every good movie needs a chase scene~~

Luckily for Roxas, Ven became a bit disoriented trying to navigate the library's bookshelves (man he was starting to hate libraries). WHen he accidentally rounded into a dead end, he turned around to look at Roxas, Keyblade bared, with a mixture of fear and defiance.

"Th-The X-blade...your keyblade...! Stay away from me!!"

Roxas seemed to become relieved when he saw the dead end, slowing some and panting, out of breath.

"Th-the...what...?" He straightened, taking a gulp of air in. "Is that what it's called?" He seemed confused, but concern took over pretty quick. He did take a step back, but still kept blocking the exit. "Fine, I won't come closer, okay?" He made a calming motion with his hands, jumping with surprise when the Keyblade finally caught up with him. He dismissed it as fast as possible.

"C'mon, I just told you I don't know anything about this stuff...!" Ven wasn't going to attack him, right...? "Why is it bad? Is it special?"

"N-No! I...I don't know!" His Keyblade was out in front of him, rather than behind him as per usual; he seemed more like he was trying to guard rather than attack, and didn't let up on that even when Roxas stepped away or dismissed the Kingdom Key.

"I know you don't...I-It's just...!" He knew he was stupid to be scared when Roxas was clueless but he couldn't help himself. It was the same as when Eiji had created that ice. He couldn't even explain it himself.

"That thing...that happened...was so my Master could create the X-Blade." Totally not avoiding eye contact why would you think that. "Y-Your Keyblade looks like part of it...!"

Ven's twittering seemed to be making Roxas equally nervous, since he wasn't exactly the best at reading bodylanguage when someone had a weapon of "creation and destruction" in their hands. He could hope this wouldn't turn out like Eiji, but...

"Just calm down, okay?" His weariness was returning full force, and Roxas slumped unconsciously. "Create the keyblade?" These things could be made? Maybe Ven was going off his rocker. His keyblade looked like part of a keyblade? Maybe his was incomplete or something...? "What did your master do?" All this stuff was starting to muddle together. But Ven looked genuinely traumatized, and that won out in the end. If his keyblade looked like one Ven recognized from his master, then...

"...I can go, if that'll make you feel better." It was probably the best thing he could do. Maybe go back and ask Aq- no, would she react like this too? The Xehanort guy was apparently really bad, how would she react? Rox hung his head, giving a sigh and moving out of the way, slumping to sit against the bookcases. Mayhe he wasn't ready for this information.

"N-No.. the X-blade. Uh...It's, greek or something... Some people pronounce it 'kai'?" That, sorta helped. He guessed.

Roxas' attempts to calm him down seemed to have some effect, because Ven very slowly glanced at Wayward Wind, and reluctantly let it disappear in a flash of light. But he was still avoiding eye contact. Of course. "Yours...just looks like a piece of it."

Alright, deep breaths, Ven, c'mon. This is nothing. You're over it. "When...a heart of pure light and pure darkness clash, they create the X-Blade...I don't really understand it...but.... He separated my darkness from me, so that he could use me to make it." He almost sounded a bit defeated at the last bit, giving up trying to keep any of it a secret apparently. However he was not going to mention that said separating nearly killed him. Because. Yeah. No.

"So, a kaiblade?" He was still tiredly sitting against the bookshelf, giving no sign of getting up within this lifetime. Maybe he could just move a shelf over to give the illusion of a shorter dead end, and live behind it? Eh, sounded like work.

It didn't occur to him that Ven had calmed down and wasn't flipping on him anymore until the other blonde had finished explaining things. Roxas looked up with a very obvious frown, shaking his head and turning back to gaze at the floor after a minute.

"...so basically, it's bad. And mine looks like it." A pause, and Rox held his forehead, trying to make sense of this. "I never fought any darkness-"

Wait a second. What about that weird dark place with all the stained glass? And that big monster...? "...I...think." The uncertainty edged it's way in, but he tried to remain nonbiased. "I don't know about this stuff like you guys do, but I don't think that means it's the same thing. Or, I hope it doesn't. But nobody did anything like that to me. Unless it happened before I can remember..."

Now he was just going in circles. What a great way to calm someone down from an obviously traumatic memory! "...it, doesn't matter in the end. I'm sorry I asked. You didn't have to tell me all that."

Ven himself had slumped against the bookshelf, sliding (roughly) back to the ground and dislodging a few books along the way.

"Even if you did fight the darkness, it has to be pure darkness. And you'd have to be pure light. I don't think you're pure either of those," Talking monotonously like that, Ven almost sounded even more like Roxas in this instance.

"...It's alright. It was bound to come up again eventually." In retrospect that long nap he was taking seemed pretty appealing.

"...thanks?" Normally he would have just ignored that comment, but. Yeah, he was pretty gray, wasn't he. "Maybe that's- no. I'm not going to theorize about this anymore." Rox just shook his head even harder, trying to clear the discussion from his mind. It felt like he'd dome something really wrong, but he couldn't place why.

A sidelong glance at Ven cemented his priorities, and Roxas scooted down, pressing his shoulder against his roomie's. He expected Ven to flip or something, but...hugs just, weren't his forte, and he had to do something. A second later, a hesitant shoulderbump followed, being the basic extent of his affection. "I'm sorry you went through all that."

identity wank ahoy

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X-- wait that one's in bad taste