towerofanimus | [OPEN] we're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die

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[OPEN] we're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die

Characters: Darkleer and YOU.
Setting: Workshop ~~like he's ever in any other floor, sob~~
Format: I'll start with action, but I'll match you.
Summary: STRONG troll attempts to take on the cold. The cold wins this round.
Warnings: Darkleer being a god tier passive aggressive bitch, since he's in a foul mood. Exploding things. A troll that will snap your spine like breadsticks if you piss him off.

[The first rule of making anything is choosing the right materials for the task. The problem here is that the right materials for the task are busy shattering because it's cold and they can't really withstand Darkleer's casual strength. That's new. Though he's got the theoretical knowledge for why this is happening, it doesn't make it any less frustrating.

So by the third time the frame of this heater-to-be breaks, Darkleer is seriously considering punching something. Or someone.

That and he's growling. Never a good thing when the dignified, snotty asshole troll is growling in the back of his throat. It only heralds impressive amounts of wanton violence.]

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[Since Johto had this nasty habit of forcing pink squishiness on all non-humans, John had never actually seen a troll in all its true Alternian glory until about a week ago when things got crazy for a weekend. And even then, he hadn't seen one anywhere near as big as Darkleer. So as he's wandering the tower and trying to acquaint himself with everything there is to see, he can't help but stop and stare a little when he makes it to the workshop.]

[In fact, it's not even John who approaches the troll in question, but rather the Litwick on his shoulder. Apparently not even the most menacing of back-of-throat growls is going to stop the little candle from floating over to see what this guy's deal is. She stops about a foot from the troll's face, giving him a curious look.]

Oooouuuuoo?

[It takes John nearly a minute to realize that his Litwick is no longer on his shoulder, but rather over by the troll who he is just now realizing does not exactly sound like the happiest camper. He jogs across the room.]

Ah! Chandel, no come back here. You shouldn't bother people like that, come back here!

[You know what happens when you mix a cold, irritated troll who is hyper focused on what he's doing, and a curious pokemon with no notion of personal space?

A hammer hitting a worktable. Or more specifically, a broken hammer and a broken table.

Also, Darkleer looking supremely offended by the mere presence of the litwick. And then there's John. Well, congrats, John. You wanted to see a troll? Look up. No really. Look up. And behold the glory of a fully standing unamused troll with his mouth pursed enough you can glimpse his teeth. Also, be thankful for the helmet. At least with it in the way you can't see how much he's considering popping your head between his fingers.]

Your pet, I presume?

[Yikes. He's even bigger up close. Especially for a kid who only clears five feet by a couple of inches. John gives a nervous chuckle. He might be just the tiniest bit intimidated right now. Especially in light of the broken hammer and table. Chandel, however, seems just as happy and unfazed as ever, still smiling at Darkleer. Must be nice to be too carefree to know fear, huh?]

Aha...more like a partner, really but either way, I apologize for her. She's just...curious. Likes meeting new people and all that!

[He points to his shoulder and shoots Chandel a look that clearly tells her to get her happy little butt back down here so they can leave before this nice troll snaps them bother in half.]

[Darkleer has a lot of practice looking down on people ~~har har, get it~~, usually being almost twice as tall as most people around. His tone turns dry.]

You'd do well keeping a closer eye on your partner, else it will be others who will apologize to you, when they mistake her for a new type of monster.

[He huffs a little, trying to make up for the fact the little ghosty thing is actually kind of cute from up close. The best way to handle this embarrassing realization is to take it out on John, of course. Of course. ~~Zahhak logic is the best logic, okay.~~]

And then perhaps you would do well to tell her that not everyone she will meet here are people one is glad to encounter.

[Oh please, she is cute from all over! Obviously Darkleer's helmet just restricted his ability to see this.]

Well, technically speaking she is a monster. [The answer came out before he could really stop and think about the fact that that was probably a really dumb thing to say just now. Now is not the time for semantics.]

I mean--! Er...okay. Yeah to both of those things. Sorry, still kind of new here and trying to get used to the fact that this place is pretty much nothing like Johto. Anyway I will just...take her and just get out of your hair, Mister Troll. Sorry again, ahaha... Chandel, please get back down here...

[The command comes out as more of a hiss than anything. But instead of heeding it, the Litwick gives another echoing coo and wiggles her arms at Darkleer. See, she'd love to come and go elsewhere, John...but even moreso, she would love to hang out with this guy a little while longer.]

[Darkleer is perfectly aware of how bloody cute the little thing is, okay. But he can't very well sit down and coo at it, can he? ~~Well, he can, just not in public. Or anywhere he risks having witnesses. He's got an image to maintain, you know?~~

He stares down at John for a long moment, taking in that ramble and letting the silence after it stretch entirely longer than strictly necessary. Then he sighs.]

I assure you, she will not get anywhere near my hair.

[Giving Chandel a pointed look. Also being obtuse on purpose because Darkleer is a dick.]

[~~Shhh, Darkleer it's okay. John wouldn't judge. He's been cooing at her since she was in her egg.~~ Awkward silence is awesome. Only not really, because it's actually kind of worrisome. Like the comedic timing would be perfect if Darkleer just punched him the face or something right there. And somehow John gets the feeling that a punch in the face from Darkleer would set off a chain reaction that would turn all his bones into splinters.]

Well, I didn't mean that literally.

[Obtuse is a kind of triangle, right?]

[~~But it's Darkleer and he's still mostly an asshole. No one needs to see him melting over small, cute things.~~ Darkleer tilts his head slightly to the side, hair rustling and expression the same stern, stone-face as in the beginning.]

And how exactly did you mean it then?

[John, you're being trolled.]

[Shhh no he's being culturally sensitive. Because it sounds like trolls have a different saying or something since Darkleer obviously took it literally.]

I just meant I would take her and leave so as not to bother you potentially more than we already are. It's just a saying.

[He knows the saying. He knows what a saying is. He's being passive aggressive and trolling you for interrupting him by asking inane questions and seeing how long it takes you to realize it, bro.

Hey, it's more entertaining than dealing with metal that doesn't want to work the way he wants it too.]

A saying?

[He eyes the pokemon almost speculatively.]

But yes. Doesn't seem particularly willing to listen to you, is she?

Yes, a s-- [Suddenly, it clicks and John puffs his cheeks out a little bit. Wow how did it take him that long.] You've been screwing with me this whole time haven't you. Some of my best friends are trolls, I know you guys have sayings.

[Darkleer folded his arms over his chest. Impressive, muscled arms, with hands larger than John's skull.]

I beg your pardon?

[Yeah. T R O L L I N G. That he insists on keeping his straight face doesn't help.]

[God, Darkleer did you eat like...whole boxes of Troll Wheaties for breakfast everyday as a grub? What is even IN Troll Wheaties if these are the results?]

You beg my pardon on what, exactly? Because if you're still trying to pull my leg here, I am not falling for it!

[It's genetic perfection.]

I am fairly certain that if I pulled your leg I would rip it off.

[Yep, keeping the straight face. It's not like he's gonna admit to being immature and a brat. Of course not. Or that picking on John is kind of fun.]

Har har. Yeah, I have no doubt that would be easy enough for you, if I were actually being serious about that. But seriously I am onto you now, I will admit that you had me going for a while but troll me once, shame on you; troll me twice, shame on me.

[Chandel is just...going to keep on floating there and watching both of them. She really has no idea what's going on right now, but that's okay. It's all good.]

I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about.

[How can you doubt such a serious, straight faced troll? He's the epitome of seriousness. He tolerates no silliness at all. Of course he's not a trolling troll. He is a STRONG troll. Right.]

Auuugh!!

[TROLLS.]

Come on, Chandel. Let's just go bef-- Chandel, no!

[Too late. While John was resisting the urge to pull his hair out, the Litwick had been sloooowly moving closer to Darkleer's face. Closer and closer until...finally.......]

[Boop. Tee hee.]

[Right on the nose.]

[John's hand moves towards a small red and white ball attached to the strap of his fanny pack. He gets the feeling that it might be time to call the Litwick back and run like hell.]

[There's a second of absolute, befuddled silence before Darkleer reaches out to try and grab the litwick. The result is both him and John failing their attempts, as Chandel - smartly - moved out of the way of that giant fist.]

I suggest you get your partner out of my sight.

[Glare. This is not a stare, I repeat, this is not a stare, proceed to start screaming.]

Now.

[Eep! John grabs the ball, pointing it towards the Litwick who disappears in a flash of red light. He really should have done this sooner, but he's not really a fan of putting her in there. She gets all pouty, but in this case it's definitely for her own good.]

[JOhn puts his hands up in front of him and gives a nervous laugh.]

Aha...I'm...really, really sorry about that.

Out!

[This sure as hell is a large, angry troll flashing a lot of teeth.]

Right, yeah! Sorry again!

[Bolting for the stairs now. He's not sure if he wants to see this troll again and try this introduction thing over again or if he should hope their paths never cross ever, ever again.]

[It's a tough call, really.]

[Darkleer holds onto the scowl for a good moment after John is gone. Then lets out a soft huff, which might or might not have been a laugh.

Either way, as he goes back to work, he's completely forgotten about his annoyance with uncooperative materials.

Well, for the ten minutes it takes for another frame to snap, that is.]

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[OPEN] we're the first ones to starve, we're the first ones to die

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