towerofanimus | [ 04 ] ✿✿ [ Closed ]

Entry tags:

[ 04 ] ✿✿ [ Closed ]

Characters:

Archer
Setting: Floor 19
Time: Sometime during the event
Format: Quick
Summary: Archer is sick. Rin is stuck taking care of him. Know a good cure to the flu? A punch in the face.
Warnings: Usual warnings applied with Rin.

[ The magus has her own ways of keeping warm. She's grown efficient in taking care of the small urges no thanks to this tower taking away her trusted partner, but also as a result due to the cold. What better way to keep yourself warm? While most others might seek out a partner to curl up alongside during the chill of winter, Rin found that in doing so, they exposed themselves to vulnerabilities she can't exactly afford in this place. With another person close to what she is walking around (frustratingly alive and well) and the place thick with Servants who are all too eager to live up to heroic part of their classification, Rin really can't take the risk of being weak.

Which is why the cold bothers her more than it should. Things inside of her squirm in unrest, urging her to seek out the comfort of another human being in all the ways that she should.

It sickens her to think of herself so frail.

Here in the library she's managed to keep herself from calling out to people. If she's sitting high in a public place, then there's no possibility she can let the facade down. All she can do is curl up in blankets with books nearby and read.

Something bothers her though. That Servant of her's... just where has he been this entire time?

With her eyes closed, she'll call for him through the link that only a Master and Servant shared. One of the utmost privacy, but more importantly, one where she can lower her guard just a little. Telling him to meet her here on this floor, in this specific corner, and to bring her an additional blanket.

Maybe if she's fortunate, he'll bring something other than a nutrition bar to snack on too. Tea sounds nice right about now... ]

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What has this place done to you?

[ Her voice is ominous as the hint of something darker stirs within her mind. The thought of harm coming to her newly appointed Servant bothers her. Where she failed with Lancer, she personally strives to excel with Archer. ]

Tell me. [ Tightening her grip on the blanket, she draws herself in closer. ] Tell me now.

Ah...

[ He's not sure whether it's her impending rage that makes him dizzy, or simply the sickness. ]

Servants can't become ill, right? It's not like I ever have before, I'm certain of it.

But this...

[ She's too close, but he's on his knees and he can't back away. He can only try not to breathe too close to her. ]

I'm definitely sick. And I see things I shouldn't.

Then I'll be your eyes.

[ Rin doesn't hesitate to offer him kindness for nothing in return. If anyone knows how good her heart is, it's the man knelt in front of her. ]

So keep them closed. [ Rising slowly to her feet, she'll tug on the blanket to try to guide him. ] Come on.

My eyes...?

[ His mouth twists downward. He can't bear the thought of Rin seeing the things he sees. But even as that thought tears at him, another one comes on his heels: this Rin is not the same. She's probably seen worse.

Somehow, that gives him the twisted sort of strength he needs, and he rises slowly to his feet with his eyes still closed and stumbles forward as she guides him. He's not going to think about just where she's guiding him. He's just going to be briefly grateful that she's doing it at all. ]

[ Into the chair still warm from her own body heat he goes. Rin doesn't mind it as she moves in to tuck the blankets in and around his form. It doesn't click in her mind right away that she's doing this with some knowledge of knowing how to since it's been so long, but the sentiment is there. An elder sister at one point who took care of a younger sibling, maybe even once or twice with a boy who was nothing but cruel towards her. ]

I know that in our world Servants can't get sick, but we're in a different place now. You should keep that in mind, Archer.

[ A noticeable enough pause passes before she continues. ] The rules have changed. We just have to adapt to counter them better.

[ His mind is hazy from the illness. It's hard enough for him to make sense of this Rin's behavior even when he isn't fighting hallucinations and fever both. But now-- ]

Adapt? Hah, you don't have to adapt...

[ He can feel her warmth nearby. His eyelids flutter, his eyes half-open before he quickly closes them again.

It was long enough for him to see her taking care of him. So it slips out, from his muddled head. ]

Tohsaka, you really are a good person.

[ Her hands freeze in place when he says that much as the fear sinks in, paralyzing her from things instilled in her mind at a young age. No loner was she part of the Tohsaka family, so to be called by that name really hits her hard. ]

Ah... [ He doesn't mean it. Her Servant doesn't mean to hurt her, but it does in ways she'll never be able to describe. ] If you say that I am, then I can believe it for now.

[ If he doesn't mind an extra bit of additional weight, he'll find her curling up into his lap with another blanket up over her. ]

I don't know if this Tohsaka you knew was selfish in any way, but I am. So you're going to have to get used to it sooner than later.

[ He's tired, he's too tired to resist saying the things he thinks right now. It's not that the individual visions of those he's had to kill bother him that much. None of them, after all, are anyone he remembers caring for. Actually, he doesn't remember the faces at all. All of them together, though--all these unfamiliar faces staring at him in pain and suffering--

Well, they do a really good job of reminding him of just why he can't tolerate his miserable existence, or the self that cut down all those people.

So after days now of nonstop exposure to these visions, and now completely unable to escape them, he's weary at heart. He knows he should push Rin away when she settles on his lap, but instead he merely startles a little, then lets his eyes close again, and warns her. ]

You shouldn't get that close, Rin. I'm only your Servant--

[ But he wants to relax. He wants to retreat, for now, into a quiet, dark world where only her warmth exists. He keeps talking to distract himself from that longing. ]

The Tohsaka Rin I knew...certainly she was selfish. I don't have anything new to get used to there. But she was a good person underneath it all.

[ He definitely doesn't mean to say what he says next. In fact, he's not sure he does say it. But he does. ]

And your eyes are different, but the same girl's underneath them.

She probably needed to be saved. I'm certain you do, so I hope you'll put up with me even if I'm as likely to destroy as I am to save.

I don't need a hero, Archer. That sort of thing is better reserved for people who still have hope.

[ She shivers at the thought of being close to him, of being close to another man. It's been so long and no. She's able to shove away those thoughts in favor of reveling in his warmth. ]

I'm the type of person who should be forgotten about. So keep your eyes close and just warm up, Archer. Forget about me being here and just relax.

[ Rin's never been any good at comforting people, but she's trying especially for Archer's sake. ]

[ His hands curl into fists at her words. Someone who looks and sounds so much like Tohsaka Rin should never say that she has no hope. And she should certainly never say that she should be forgotten-- ]

What a thing to say.

[ He doesn't quite realize that he's speaking; it's gotten hard for him to distinguish between the ceaseless talking down of himself inside his head, and the things he speaks to the world outside it. ]

If Rin has no hope, then I have even less hope. If Rin should be forgotten about, then I'm...

[ He trails off as he can no longer ignore something. ]

Rin. You're warm, but why are you on my lap?

The world can forget us together then.

[ That's her only counter to his words as she nestles in to try to draw from his heat even more. The tower has grown so cold and even if she can use flame to warm herself up, blisters form too easily on her skin and the smoke burns her nostrils more than she cares to admit. So all she can do is sit here and ignore his question.

She's there because she needs something he can give her. Something she can't have from her Servant.

It was alright when it was Lancer, but he never cared about things like her being hopeless. His only care was why she stopped doing this or that, never because of her thoughts. This Servant, this Archer, was one she has to approach cautiously even now that they are within a pact. ]

Because there's not much else room so this is the best I can do. You're going to have to deal with it because I'm not in the mood to listen to your complaints.

Edited 2012-12-28 13:06 (UTC)

The world's already forgotten me.

[ These things keep slipping out, though he curses himself for allowing them. This time he has the presence of mind to grimace as he realizes that he shouldn't have said that. And then he takes a surprised breath as she gets closer.

It feels...nice. He can't let it feel too nice, of course. He's not allowed things like that. But maybe, for the moment, it would be okay if the world forgot them together, so long as they could be together and warm... ]

Hmm. Fine. I won't complain, but I'm sure you will sooner or later.

Then I'll destroy it and rebuild one just for the two of us.

[ Nuzzling in even closer. ] So it doesn't matter if they know nothing about you. We'll make a better place with only us to inhabit it.

[ Talk of destroying the world is the only thing to keep Rin comfortable and it reminds her that getting close to someone like her Servant isn't a feasible idea. She thought in the end it was only going to be Lancer and her.

So then here she was with someone else. ]

I'm already a step ahead with the destruction. Why don't we take over this tower and make everyone submit to us?

[ He bites at his lip. Her closeness makes him feel things he shouldn't. So he tells himself that he's imagining it. That she can't really be this close, and it's probably just his fever-skewed, vision-addled brain. The heat in his head subsides a little.

But the effort leaves him unable to resist saying more. ]

Why...? Well, that's obvious, Rin. It's because you don't really want to terrorize everyone and make them submit. You're not that bad.

You say that, but can you be confident in it?

[ Rin asks the most obvious thing. For someone who seems so unsure of himself right now, how can he be certain on that? ]

[ His voice is soft. ]

You stopped me from destroying that kid. I'm remembering right, aren't I? It was foolish, because if he were annihilated everything would be better...

But you still stopped me.

It would have done you no good to hurt him here, Archer. That boy... I don't know, but there's something about him that reminds me of you. Both of you are insistent on getting in my way, but I should remind you that death is meaningless in this tower.

[ Her hands find their way up and around his body in an attempt to hold him tightly. ]

I'll always be there to stop you.

[ She's holding him. A ragged breath of surprise escapes him. He's too weary to stop it. ]

I think...

[ He still can't remember, exactly. Everything is so unclear. ]

I think you always were. That's why I had to--

[ Why he had to what? He trails off, troubled. ]

Why you had to what?

[ This is an answer she needs the answer to, so she pries. Fingers digging into his flesh deeply, she doesn't relent in holding him dear. ]

Archer, what did you do?

[ The next breath that leaves him is laced with frustration. She can claw at him all she likes--it won't compare to the raking he's giving himself inside his own head. ]

I don't remember. That's your fault, you know.

My fault?

[ Her voice turns sour at that. ] What did I ever do to you? Well, besides stop you from hurting that one boy, but you told me that I saved a stupid boy once. I thought if I did that again, it'd be alright.

I just wanted--!! [ To be more like the girl he once knew. That's all. ]

Edited 2013-01-03 12:27 (UTC)

It's not that.

[ For a moment, his voice gentles. ]

It's all right. I should have expected you to save that kid. You always do things like that.

[ She always stops him when he wants to destroy himself. He doesn't know how he's sure of this, but he knows it's true. ]

No, this is something else. Back home, you summoned me wrong. It got worse when I came here. My memories aren't clear.

I didn't summon you wrong. You're the one who's screwed up, so don't place the fault on me!

[ Quickly she dives in to defend herself in another world. ]

Ha--!

[ Suddenly, he starts to laugh. Underneath her touch, his sides shake. For a few moments, he'd managed clarity, but suddenly it seems like he's lapsing back into his foggy near-hysteria.

He opens his eyes so that he can look at her, and not the bloodied things that haunt him beyond. ]

Hahaha. You've admitted it, Rin...

You've admitted you're still that girl.

I didn't admit anything!

[ One of those hands no longer grazes his side in favor of raising a fist towards the side of his head. ]

I didn't admit anything at all! I didn't admit anything of that sort so quit trying to make me become someone I'm not!

[ He just grins at that fist. ]

Well, I don't need to make you do anything like that, since you'll just do it yourself if the time is right. I'll wait for that, at your side.

Since I am your Servant.

I'll not do it just to defy you. Hope you're ready for a lifetime of being proven wrong, Archer.

[ Forcing her head back in against his chest, she'll mutter the rest of her insults into the hardened material between his flesh and her mouth. ]

S-Stupid Archer.

I'm used to lifetimes like that. I don't think you have the kind of heart that would make me experience one again.

[ The weariness and the illness make him confident. They also make it easier for him to dismiss the feel of her head on his chest as just another hallucination--she can't possibly really be doing that. ]

Shows what you know about me. You can stop acting as though you can guess my every move now that you've been proven wrong yet again.

[ Nope, not lifting her head from his chest. B-A-K-A, etc. ]

[ Since it's only a hallucination, it's okay if he rests a hand on her shoulder, right? He'll just do that. She's solid, and warm, and not bleeding or dying. He needs to feel that right now, even if it's strange to touch someone like that. ]

It wouldn't be interesting if I could guess every move, I think.

It would make things too easy, I'll admit.

[ Her shoulder sinks under the weight of his hand, but she doesn't pull away from the action. ]

Nothing's ever been easy.

Would you want an easy life?

[ His voice is soft, wearied from his struggle with the visions. ]

Edited 2013-01-05 23:29 (UTC)

[ All he gets in response to that is a nod of her head. She can't even bring herself to say that's exactly what she wants. Hard work is nice, but she's been struggling for so long that she can't even close her eyes and relax when near a knight who will protect her. ]

[ His eyelids flutter open just in time for him to see that nod. ]

Yeah...?

[ Something about that makes him angry. Where is her spark? Where is the girl who will fight and fight just to win?

But he's too tired out to question her on that now. So he says only one thing. ]

I see. I'll give it to you, sooner or later.

Don't tell anyone.

[ It's more of a plea than a demand, but the fire in her eyes has long since been snuffed out. ]

It can, it can be our secret. Something we can share together that no one has to know about. Just like me taking good care of you.

[ And he realizes: her eyes are blank and empty like his. There should be a spark in them. There should be a blaze in them. ]

...I wonder if this is another hallucination.

My Master, admitting that she doesn't want to fight.

[ His voice is unsteady again, and his hand on her shoulder starts to draw her closer against him. His other hand touches her waist, as if by pulling her close he could breathe the fight back into her.

But at the last moment, his body and mind rebels. She's too solid to be a vision. That means he's pulling a real live human being close to hold them. And that can't be. That can't happen. He lets go of her too quickly and lets his hands fall to his sides again.

And he remembers to close his eyes once more. ]

I won't breathe a word of it.

[ Bliss. That's how it feels whenever he touches her that way and it makes her think that she's capable of having someone there who cares for her. Her uncle does, but he never reaches out to hold her. Her parents did so long ago, but then she became this monster too unrecognizable to be loved by those who brought her into this world.

Not even Lancer held her like he would a lover. He had a wife back in his time and only she was worthy of that; to him, Rin was another maiden to lay in bed beside and nothing more.

There's a spark that struggles to burn brightly when his hand graces her waist. All she needs is for someone to blow a little on the flame and it would ignite in a way she never thought possible. That's all she can think about until the cold brushes against the parts he's left exposed.

Not even this man who believes in her truly being good can hold her.

The shackles form again and drag her through the depths of agonizing despair. Just like before she can't breathe without swallowing hard, but at least he gives her that promise. He breaks the promise of an easy life just to promise he won't tell anyone she wants it to be that way. ]

Mm, of course. Do you need me to get anything for you?

No.

[ There's nothing she can give him that she isn't already giving him. Her body near his, reminding him what's a vision and what's real. That's enough right now. ]

This isn't bad.

[ But that's the only way he can thank her. ]

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[ 04 ] ✿✿ [ Closed ]

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