[.oo8] A Compulsion of Memory [OPEN]

[lethechained]

Characters:  Naminé (OU) and any passersby.
Setting: Floor 11/later in the day Floor 3, December 26th
Format:  Responder's choice.
Summary:  Naminé's Christmas present from the Tower has put her in a strange mood.  Studying ensues, resultant exhaustion included.
Warning:  Memories/possible reference to kidnapping, violence, death etc. pretty much only as a past occurrence.


Floor 11

  [Someone is seated at the edge of the lake, right in front of one of the waterfalls that empty into it.  A couple of blankets are gathered around her, probably taken from her bed.  Wrapped around her and even forming something a hood over her head, only a few strands of golden hair visible from behind her, they offer some amount of defense against the cold as she works.  Curiously, there appears to be a small doll also tucked into the blankets, on the edge of them not far from the girl's right side.  On her left, some distance away from her but close enough to imply that it belongs to her (whether she likes it or not) is a white cage, about the right size to house a small bird.  It is empty.]

  [Those who are familiar with it or have the sense for it may recognize, even before getting close enough to see what she's doing, that she seems to be practicing magic.  Persistently, over and over as if training, she reaches out pale, slender hands to form glowing barriers against the falling water, allowing it to flow off over the edges of the spell but attempting to maintain or strengthen that shield as best she can.  Other times, she does something else entirely, using another sort of magic to stop portions of the water entirely, as if they are frozen in time, though this, too, wears off eventually.  Over time, she is becoming more skilled.]

  [It looks like something has encouraged Naminé to do a little studying.]

Floor 3

 [Later in the day, Naminé can be found in the library, several books relating to magic spread out on the table before her, the doll next to them and the cage on a chair by the far side of the table.  Unfortunately for her, it seems she's done a little TOO much studying today, because she's out cold, head on her arms which are folded over the one book she was trying to use to FINALLY take a break, a book of fairytales (ironically) open to the story of Sleeping Beauty.  The blankets are still wrapped around her, but in her sleep it has fallen from around her shoulders and now rests mostly against the chair itself.]

Comments

[lethechained]

Her teeth pressed lightly against her lower lip, eyes threatening to avert for a brief moment. "Thank you. But... what's past is past." Or so she had to keep reminding herself. The possibility of that past no longer staying where it belonged was one that haunted her, and even more so today, after the gift that she received. "I wish you all the luck in the worlds."

"I see...!" She paused to consider this, one hand disentangling from the other to lightly press, fingers curled inward, against her chin. "So you won't be alone. Do you think maybe he's being controlled as well, or is he a willing participant?"

[tohko_amano]

Tohko sighed and patted Namine on the head. "That's true..but that doesn't mean the pain goes away that easily." Tohko then nodded. "Thank you..and I wish you luck all the luck that my universe can offer."

Tohko scratched her head.

"Well..technically, I'll still be on my own. To become one of Wilhelm's workers, you have to know everything that you're getting into before you agree or disagree to be one. He's a willing participant, but he joined up with Wilhelm so that he could make the acts that Wilhelm does a little softer and easier to bear. He doesn't like the Eternal Recurrence, and as much as he would love an alternative, he thinks that there's nothing more he can do but wait until humanity can break the cycle."

[lethechained]

Her eyes shut just a moment longer than necessary for a blink at the pat. Tohko was right - or would be, if Naminé were even capable of believing in her own pain. What she experienced took place at such a formative time in her life that she may never recover from it. It had such an impact on her personality, on her outlook, on everything that she developed to be that it was not an easy mark to erase. Her response was a quiet, grateful smile. She may not have been able to accept the assessment in good conscience, but neither could she deny it.

"Hm." Funny, almost, how she was reminded, though only slightly, of someone in her worlds. "That may be a noble goal. I can only imagine what it's like for him to take on such a responsibility. It makes me wonder how much influence he actually has." Not in any sort of critical way; it was more a matter of benign curiosity.

[tohko_amano]

Tohko tried to give Namine a smile that look reassuring and nodded.

At Namine's words, she nodded. "It is a good goal..but it's a pretty heavy burden to be one of Wilhelm's workers..after all..you do have to die to take on the job. However, he does have some influence, as Wilhelm doesn't care what he does as long as he follows his commands and orders."

[lethechained]

"-- Die?" Curious, that such a thing would be a requirement. Though technically all of the Nobodies had 'died' in at least one sense of the word, the idea was still distasteful to her. After all, most of them didn't do it willingly. "I suppose it's good that he chose to, and that he has that much control, but-- why did he have to die first?"

[tohko_amano]

Tohko sighed and nodded. "I guess it is good that he picked to be Wilhelm's worker..as for why you have to die, in Wilhelms' world there are three..dimensions. The Upper Domain holds what humans call god. The Lower domain is where humanity resides, and the realm below that is the Collective Unconscious, where souls go once they die to be as one until some souls get reincarnated.

However..to be one of Wilhelm's workers, a soul has to be rather..special." How to tell her what Anima was without going on too long about it?

"However, since he can't make a certain person his worker until they die, he'll wait until they die and then grab them before they hit the Collective Unconscious and offer them a choice-be his gofer or go to the Collective Unconscious."

Tohko sighed and scratched her head. "Does that make any sense?"

[lethechained]

So there was another limitation to be added to the list. It was a comfort; at first, he had sounded almost all-powerful. The more limitations, the less threatening. "Yes, I understand. It makes perfect sense." It sounded a little like Kingdom Hearts, only possibly in reverse.

"It's interesting that he would offer them a choice. And I have to wonder why exactly it was that he was forced to take them only when they were moving between the dimensions."

[tohko_amano]

Tohko sighed and scratched her head. "I think it's because, deep down, he does want humanity to make it's own choices. He just..doesn't think they can handle the big ones yet until they beat him and his cycle. And..I don't know much about Wilhelm's workers, but..it's possible that he ties their souls to his own consciousness. Maybe that's how they get some of their powers..and it ensures that they can't go against him without disappearing."

[lethechained]

"I suppose that would make sense. It's a good theory." Her lips pressed together as she considered that. An interesting motivation, to be sure. "Then-- you think he wants to be defeated?"

[tohko_amano]

Tohko nodded.

"He did hint so himself..and when I called him out on that, he seemed..pleased that I had made the connection. Plus, he hasn't been deterring my efforts to find an alternative, even though he says I'll fail. So..I think he wants humanity to break out of the cycle, but until they can, he'll keep doing what he's always been doing."

[lethechained]

"Huh." Strange, how much it seemed almost like a particularly harsh, manipulative parent. (Not that she'd know much about parents.) "He certainly is a strange person. But I guess-- maybe it's better for you that way. If he isn't going to stop you, I mean."

[tohko_amano]

"Wilhelm is rather bizarre..but it is pretty good that he isn't going to stop me. Not that he has any reason too. Since he think I'll fail, he just gets amused by my trying and doesn't think I'll be able to do much."

She then sighed. "However..you must have had some problems with chessmasters in your world as well, if you're able to keep up with this."

[lethechained]

There was a moment of silence, kept alive by Naminé's hesitation. Her eyes lowered, her lips pressing together. "... When I was... growing up," for lack of a better term, "... I was surrounded by people who sought to control others. Most of them... lost their own games, and in doing so, lost their lives as well. They were too assured of their own understanding and of their strength, and in the end, it was their downfall."

[tohko_amano]

Tohko sighed and patted Namine on the head again. "..I see. And you got caught up in those games and got used as a pawn. I'm sorry to hear that you had to be caught up and used in that."

[lethechained]

For one faltering moment, Naminé felt the urge to ask how Tohko could possibly know Naminé wasn't a player herself, that she didn't manipulate others as well, but-- even she, for all of her guilt, for all of her shame, knew that the comparison would be a tricky one to explain and to justify. She did not participate by choice, and therein lay the difference. (Still, sometimes, she did not feel as though her crimes were any less terrible.) "... Thank you. I just hope things turn out well for you."

[tohko_amano]

Tohko smiled and nodded. "You're welcome..and thank you. Hopefully they will. If you have any trouble with other chessmasters in the Tower or anything else here, let me know, alright? I'm a simple book girl, but I might be able to help."

[lethechained]

"I will." It's easier to smile when being smiled at, and so she manages one herself. "And you can let me know if anything new happens, too. I'll do my best to help you, too. Besides - you might be surprised what 'simple' people can do."

[tohko_amano]

Tohko smiled and nodded. "Thanks..and don't worry, I will! It'd be a shame if I left out parts of the plot that you were interested in..and I am surprised sometimes at what I can do..but I'm also surprised at the number of things I fail at as well."

Tohko sighed and scratched her head. However, the smile didn't leave her face. "However, that just means I'll have to improve a little bit."

[lethechained]

That smile widened. "Right. And it would make it a lot harder for me to help you."

A tiny laugh, then, "You're right. Some things just take practice."

[tohko_amano]

Tohko chuckled a little bit. "Well..that too."

She then nodded. "Right..but I'm sure that we'll both get better at the things we're bad with soon enough!"

[lethechained]

Another laugh, and, "I certainly hope so." She'd been putting a lot of work into her magic that day, after all. It would be a shame for it be fruitless, but more concerning, it would trouble her to not be able to get better at defending herself and others. "-- No, I'm sure we will."

[tohko_amano]

Tohko chuckled and, with a small nod, patted Namine's head again. "Of course we will! It may take a little time, but I'm sure we will. I'm sure of it!"

[lethechained]

She was going to get spoiled, with all of those pats. "Hee...! I guess it's better to stay positive." Not that that negated the accuracy of that belief.

[tohko_amano]

Tohko smiled and nodded. "Of course! Otherwise despair will swallow you whole, leaving nothing but your bones. And that's not a pleasant sensation, trust me."

...Still smiling while saying that. However, her eyes did look a bit sadder.

[lethechained]

"...Mm. I know exactly what you mean." She and despair were no strangers, after all. "And I've already decided that if I can help it, I'm never going to let that happen again."