towerofanimus | ☆ 003: Private Show ☆ "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

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☆ 003: Private Show ☆ "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

Characters: (Closed) Rise Kujikawa and Yu Narukami
Setting: Floor 32; SUPER backdated to the beginning of December (around the 7th, probably?)
Format: Whatever Twi picks when she tags me. XD
Summary: Rise goes looking for her Senpai after Yu offers to explain Strega things and other P3-related info that she might not know yet, after she kinda-sorta-TOTALLY-accidentally stepped on a landmine while talking with Strega!Ken. (>_<。)
Warnings: Nope, none.

[She's still feeling kinda guilty about how that conversation with Ken went down. Okay, more than just kinda--she really hadn't meant to offend him, or bring up all those terrible memories. She'd just wanted to help. Really!

Part of her still wants to be a little angry that he had gotten so angry, but her guilt far outweighs that self-righteous impulse, soundly smothering it. He was just a kid, after all, and he'd had it really rough, way worse than she or any of her friends. They might not have had it totally easy either, and they all knew painfully well what loneliness felt like, but still... Even Naoto-kun, whose parents had both died while she was young, still had her grampa and that butler guy (Yakushiji-san, if she'd heard his name right); Ken hadn't had anyone.

Rise was usually pretty sensitive about how people were feeling, but it was a lot harder to do that over the computer, even if video equipment was involved. She'd clearly missed some really vital cues...which had led to things ending up pretty tense. So when Yu had suggested meeting up to explain Ken's situation a little more ~~and hopefully comfort her a little as well ;^;~~ she'd leapt at the offer.

Which was why she was currently wandering on the Forest Floor, looking for her Senpai. Not that he was making himself hard to find, because she found him within the first five minutes of setting foot on that floor, even without access Kanzeon's power.]

Hey, Senpai.

[Her greeting is notably more subdued than usual, but she still smiles at him as she joins Yu in gathering firewood. She doesn't feel the need to say anything more; he knows why she's here already, and that's enough.]

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[They all had it rough, and one of Ken's surrogate family made a point of it back in the day. Funny how he just realized that wasn't even a year ago, too, when he had a small taste of just how bad they'd had it and still did. It's a miracle he hadn't died; had stayed strong even when he realized a painful truth once again. Maybe that's why he was so patient and easygoing when it came to things like this; he didn't know.

What he did know was two people he cared about were hurting, and one of them was nearby if Ishtar's stirring was enough to go by.

He looks up at the subdued greeting and nods in response, a little more than slightly concerned. Of their friends, they were definitely of the more sensitive to how others felt. Sure they made mistakes, but when they did it hit them like a delivery truck. ...Okay, that was a terrible analogy, but the point is made; it sucks.]

...Rise.

[It's funny how much he could put behind a single word or name; his worry and concern, a bit of disappointment even if behind a smile. Yu pauses in his work for a moment, adding the wood he's gathered into a makeshift basket to make it easier to transport. He's ready to answer when she's ready to ask.]

[There was so much she wanted to ask about--the Evokers, the experiments Yu had mentioned in passing, Ken's friends--Rise almost doesn't know where to start. She also wants some reassurance from Yu that she didn't totally ruin any chance of ever being friends (or at least on good terms) with Ken, though the concern and slight disappointment in his expression are both kinda hard for her to have to see, especially the disappointment. She hadn't been trying to be mean or inconsiderate, of course, but even so, it still feels like she let Yu down a little bit.

...So she might as well get right down to asking her questions, and worry about feeling better about that conversation and patching things up with Ken later. Anyways, the more she knew about the other Persona users here in the Tower, the better, and the less likely she'd be to step on any conversational landmines in the future, even if they were talking over the computers.]

...You said Ken-kun is a Persona User, too, and it sounds like his friends must be also. But they all have to use an Evoker to summon their Persona...and when I asked if it hurt...

[...Yeeeeah, that was another part of their conversation she wasn't too proud of, but somehow she just hadn't been able to stop herself from blurting out that question.]

Well, he paused for just a second too long before he said, "For someone who was born with the potential to summon a Persona, no. Any pain involved is just psychological."

[~~Good memory is good after years of having to memorise scripts and songs v. quickly~~ She stops the busywork of wood-gathering, watching Yu's face carefully for any sort of reaction as she says,]

...That...doesn't exactly sound like a solid "no" to me.

[There was a lot to go over, that much was certain. Pausing for a moment before going back to collecting some things (and being a little glad that his hair did grow out a bit in his months of being here, he should probably get it cut again soon). At some point, he'll have to mention how he first met Ken. Until then, there were things that needed to be answered.]

... They are. Ken and his friends are members of the group called Strega. A Persona team made up of mostly orphans who survived some rather inhumane experiments. Mostly.

[His gaze hardens slightly as he stares at the wood in his hands. Yeah, this was going to suck to explain, since now he knew what it was like. Lived through it with them and heard their voices oh god no stop not going to think about Samael, Medea, and Moros in head all over again nope nope nope nope noooope.]

For his friends, it can be deadly if overused or not used at all because of it. The pain doesn't come from the evokers, per say... More like their "Personas" try to attack themselves at any sign of weakness or they run out of suppressants.

Their Personas try to attack themselves?

[That information was startling--and horrifying--enough that Rise couldn't help repeating it, just to be sure she'd heard him right. Having to constantly struggle to keep control of Kanzeon, and always be worried about what could happen if she didn't...Rise can hardly fathom it.]

But why would their own Personas attack them?

[She doesn't really want to ask this, but she has a sick, sneaking sensation that it's related to the previous question.]

And...what kind of experiments?

[He nods grimly at the question, inwardly wincing at the next. Why was... far too obvious, lately. And he hated knowing what it was like after that week. Yet he did, and he knows how wrong he had been. Hard enough to fathom than to come to understand.]

Because they aren't them. [A beat.] ...You might want to sit down.

[If it means anything, Yu has completely stopped collecting firewood. Instead he's focusing on Rise. ...There's no way to put this lightly or say it only in passing, and it's against what they fought for to hide the truth from one another. Might as well say it outright.]

I don't know all the details, but after an incident twelve years ago for us, a group of scientists took in some orphans and began experimenting with artificial means of awakening a Persona ability in them. Their Personas are artificially and only half-formed from the Shadows that were forced into their minds against both Shadow and their wills.

All the members of Strega here are like that, save Ken-kun.

Edited 2013-01-12 07:17 (UTC)

[Rise sits down when Yu suggests it, because he doesn't say that sort of thing lightly. And as it turns out, she's very glad she had, because she's pretty sure that if she'd stayed standing, her knees would've given out and she'd've sat down anyway, only with thump.]

[It's just--it's so wrong, so twisted and terrible that it's a little hard to process, and even after it does, it takes her a moment to find her voice.]

...That's...! That's horrible! How would anyone do something like that? Especially to kids!

[Now that she thought about it, some of the Persona users she'd seen on her scans had felt a little different; she just hadn't been close enough to, or focused enough on any of them to realise just how different.]

[The idea of having a Shadow forced inside of her and then awakened made her feel sick, enough so that for the first time she was glad that it was a nutrition-bars-only month; that meant she hadn't been eating much lately. But she still had more questions, and she was determined to see this through and get them all answered, regardless of how unpleasant those answers might be.]

You said something about "suppressants" before...how do those work? And why is Ken-kun different? Is it just because he was "born with the potential to summon a Persona"? What does that even mean?

[Welcome to his first reaction, and one of the several reasons he's begun to hate some scientists.]

I don't know, and to be honest... I don't want to know, either.

[Because that would make him a monster in his own eyes if he did understand, and while he's slipped on the slope a bit before, he still has a strong sense of morality. Yet what Jin had said when he wasn't in his right mind still rung in his head. They did have families of their own that didn't see them the way they did...

With a sigh, he joins her in sitting down.]

Exactly what it says on the tin. Their pills that, when taken, quiet the Personas and keep them from going wild. Though from what I've seen... it isn't without a price.

[Because he remembered how they mentioned before that they only had a short amount of time to live.]

...He awakened to his own potential after he was orphaned. He wasn't part of the experiments, but they took him in after they escaped.

[It's comforting just having him sit next to her, having him be closer. She doesn't have to cling or even touch him to feel that closeness, or the warmth between them.]

...A price? That doesn't sound good...

[So Ken wasn't part of the experiments. She was glad to hear that he'd been spared that, at least, though being abandoned and having to fight Shadows and live on the streets was still a pretty rough life for a kid.]

"Strega", huh... I should probably ask for their names, just so I can be on the lookout for them.

[She'd probably be fine if she met any of them in person, but it would still be nice to have a head's up so she doesn't make the same mistake she made with Ken. Not that she's likely to do that any time soon. ~~Being extra-careful in network conversations with strangers from now on = v. yes.~~]

[They're just skilled like that.

Yu shook his head. It... really wasn't good, though he doesn't know for sure. Which is why he isn't saying everything. He needs confirmation on some things before he shares, and the one he'd promised yet another death god to help out wasn't here to get answers from.

At least he could help Ken and Chidori if she wanted. ...Jin is Jin.]

Chidori Yoshino, and the other who's here I think is named Jin. No idea on his familial name; no one mentioned it. The other Minato Arisato is the leader, but I haven't seen him in a while. Though, his name is still on the door at his room...

[They must be trying to bring him back, still. ~~And yes good.~~]

[He didn't answer her about what the price was, but that only made her think it must be really bad, whatever it was. But if Yu knew for sure, he'd tell her, so maybe that was it. He wouldn't 'protect' her from the truth just because it was hard to handle--they'd all moved past doing anything like that, the whole IT.

She nods, repeating the names quietly to herself as she files them away for future reference, but stops on that last one.]

The "other" Minato Arisato?

[She'd seen it mentioned on the Network that there could be more than one of a person, somehow (and they weren't Shadow-selves either), but she hadn't even known there was one, much less two of this guy, whoever he was. ~~Still knows nothing of SEES other than the fact that Koro-chan has an armband with that on it, sorry BF~~.]

Yeah, if his name is still on the door, he'll probably be back, right?

[Yu nods faintly at the semi-question.]

There were two of them in the tower until recently. Both have vanished. [He pauses.] The Minato I know best is my roommate and the leader of S.E.E.S. in his world. Another Persona team that fought Shadows and sumon with evokers.

[Well, now you know. He's been making biffles with the other leaders of the Persona teams.] Yeah. I hope so, at least.

[Which he knows sounds selfish, because this place is hell, but he's seen where they end up when they "go home"...]

So even the Persona users on this other team, who didn't have experiments done on them, still have to use evokers? I wonder why they do and we don't?

[Rise doesn't think it's selfish to want Minato back, really--it's nice to have backup, and it's also nice to have your friends around, even if this place can be terrible. Selfish or not, she'd want Yu to come back if he ever left, especially since they don't know what's really going on back home ~~and lolol no one's told her yet what happens when people 'go home' either...~~. She doesn't believe their world's been destroyed, but still, on the off chance it has...]

Yeah. That's what I've seen, anyway. Though, I think it's because we awakened to our powers differently than they did. I know a few who don't even use cards.

[Which really perplexes him, even though he did once or twice ~~and later paid the price for it, ow migraines~~. Looks like they'll be selfish together, then. Though he's... preparing himself for quite a few other nasty reveals.]

Oh, that's right! Michel-san knew I was a Persona user without doing a scan or anything! And he said they got their powers by playing a game...that's pretty different than what happened to us.

[She's still in serious mode, but she can't help but give a small, warm smile here.]

You sure know a lot about this stuff, Senpai. A lot of people must confide in you here too, just like they did back home...

[She trails off a little tentatively and her smile falters and all but fades, because she is sensitive (extra-especially so where Senpai is concerned), and she's getting a weird feeling from him, like he's steeling himself to tell her more.]

...What is it?

He was like that when we first met shortly after he arrived, too.

[And then he invited Yu to join Gas Chamber when he found out he played the trumpet back in the city ~~help~~. ...Oh dear. That comment kind of started a chain reaction that no one would have suspected before not too long ago. Well, at least from one of their perspectives.]

...Yeah. [Some did. Others he had to learn from experience, like what happened with some of the other Persona users.

He inwardly flinches at her noticing it too, even though he really should have seen it coming. It was Rise, after all. One of the few who could sense when something was wrong with ease.

He knows he has no other choice but to tell her the truth.]

...A few months before you, Chie-san, and Nanako arrived... the admins gathered sixty-two of their "rescued" and split them into three groups under the three admins under Ruana's lead. They were kept separate from the others for a month in a little "game" to see who ran things best. Most of those who were in Jason's pod... weren't even themselves after the first week or two.

[There's a long pause before Yu continued, the implications of it telling even before he says it.]

...Members of Strega only opened up to me because Kanji-kun, Naoto-kun and I were left under Jason's "care"... Because I heard their Personas for weeks.

[and he'd been driven mad... done terrible things. He can't even look back on the first week without realizing his capacity for making all the wrong choices, or hear Yosuke's angry voice in his head.

Sometimes he wished Yosuke had punched him, too.]

[That sounds pretty awful--anything Jason did was practically guaranteed to be horrifying, she knew that much even if she'd only been here a few months--especially since those Persona are apparently hostile, even (or especially?) towards their hosts.

But horrible as that would be, it...can't be everything. That pause was too long and weighty (too guilty) for it to just be about hearing terrible voices in his head for weeks. Still, she's not going to twist Yu's arm into telling her about it--he'll do that if and when he wants to--even though she really, really wants to know (and yet part of her doesn't, but that's just her own fear and selfishness talking), if only to help him carry the weight however she can.]

...Oh, Senpai...

[She really doesn't know what else to say. There's nothing she can do to make it better other than just be here for him, and she's kinda sorry for even making him remember it at all. She wants to move closer, to at least bump his shoulder with hers, but...this is his ghost, his guilt they're facing down right now. And until she's certain he wants physical comfort (he didn't usually mind, but this wasn't exactly usually right now), she'll just press her hand to the ground close to his, within easy reach.

She might very well end up abandoning that line of thought, and lose all restraint depending on what he'd been through, but for now, hard as it is, Rise manages to hold herself back for Yu's sake.]

Edited 2013-01-21 15:57 (UTC)

[To be honest, he's just amazed he survived it out of sheer stubbornness. Yet he can't bring himself to completely regret it, because he made some friends in that hell... and he can't regret those bonds. ~~He sure as hell will wonder about his judgement forever, though.~~

Part of him is relieved she isn't asking yet, because he knows how red his hands are. She doesn't need to know right this second (more like he doesn't know if he could risk admitting it again, and dammit shadow self don't even think about coming out again next fog he will say it when he's ready), but he will reassure her of something else. He's fine now. He had to start facing this new aspect of himself a while ago (in front of a certain goddess, no less). It is or will be fine.

He places his hand beside hers, palm up and open. It's enough to say he trusts her still, and likely with his mistakes later, if she'll trust him still.]

It's almost ironic... I still worry more for the little kids who went through that hell more.

[They were around Nanako's age... and that's saying something. Yet for some reason, he smirks a bit to himself. As if there was a part of that memory that made the pain worth it.]

...Did anyone ever mention what happened to one of the administrators when three of the ones under their care revolted against them?

[Rise should know that look. It's the look of "May have gone through Hell, but damn if we didn't punch out Cthulhu."]

[...Well, if he's going to offer his hand like that...there's no way she'd ever choose to do anything but take it and hang on tight.

The fact that there are little kids here, that the administrators aren't above torturing helpless, innocent children like Nanako-chan along with the rest of them...it's just another kind of bullying, really, and Rise hates it so, so much. At least most of the older people can fight back or defend themselves a little, but the younger ones...

She perks up a bit at that smirk though, and gives him a smirk of her own in response to his question.]

Not yet! But it sounds like the kinda story I'd definitely like to hear.

[And maybe the kind of story Yu needs to tell right now, too. To remind himself that sometimes they can have an effect on things, even things that seem far beyond their strength or their reach.]

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☆ 003: Private Show ☆ "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

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That icon.... //stares at happily ♥

hee~ ♥

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...Pfft, just noticed my typo in the above tag //FACEPALM

there there, it happens. /pats

(>_<。)

<3

<333!

:3

[1/2] /o/

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...Too many feels prevented me from tagging this in a timely manner. (ཀ д ཀ)

It's okay, con hangover got me baaaaaaad. (╥﹏╥)

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