towerofanimus | As we sift through the hour glass

Entry tags:

As we sift through the hour glass

Characters: Dave Strider and Open to anyone
Setting: Around the Tower
Format: Either
Summary: It's been forty years from Dave's point of view.
Warnings: Possible mentions of death. Mention of injuries. Dave not being able to talk. Time problems. Replies being made with

rememberstime.

[Dorm Levels]
A ~~young~~ man stands in his dorm room.

Hahaha. Except he's been doing this for forty years, so it's not all that surprising. Dave was more mystified over the fact that his Ninetales looks much too young. Hell, he's pretty sure she's in the exact condition she was when he first got her when he turned fourteen. She seems rather confused too, almost not recognizing him for who he is. It's only a brief moment before she's approached Dave and is licking at his hands and headbutting him affectionately.

Dave kneel down to inspect her thoroughly. He felt the strange pause in time. Of course he did. It's impossible not to have felt it at his level. Dave has basically mastered what he can of his aspect. Like a real knight of time.

This? This makes absolutely no sense, not that time ever really did. He inspects her for a minute longer before trying to check the time on the terminals.

Welp. That was a useless endeavor.

Dave beckons her to follow him, intent on leaving the Dorm and out to the other floors. Perhaps you're in the room or perhaps you were looking for Dave right as he's about to head out.

[Floor 38: Lounge]
Dave was sprawled out on one of the beanbags letting Missy run about the room. He usually chooses this floor over floor four, being farther away and making it a little more quiet.

He's got a pad of paper at hand and he's lazily sketching things out. Mainly, Missy, although it's hard when she was all over the place. Not having a camera lead to being out of a hobby. He's picked up drawing again to make up for the inability to take photos. It was a good way to pass time and it was something he could do quietly.

[Floor 3: Library]
He's used the library a lot more since he's gotten older, burying himself in as many books as he can and reading them. Right now? He's seeing if maybe there's anyway to gather information on the current predicament. He highly doubts it, but it's also nice to touch up on things like this anyways.

Maybe he'll just read a really shitty, raunchy, romance novel while he's here.

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Tohko was a book girl. No matter how bitter, spicy, sweet, or terrible something was, she would reads and eat it. Of course, she didn't eat this slip of paper..but she did read it. And once she was finished, she sighed and..glared at the guy.

It was weird..but it was like Wilhelm had told and shown her. Learning the truth, for some, was so painful that they would lash out.

Not that it would deter Tohko from replying.

"And no one likes to read rude things from a man denying what may possibly be the truth! I know I'm not a scientists or a time traveler, but I am a book girl, so I do know a little bit about the subject and how our Administrators operate. And how would time travel come into play when they're just aging people? That doesn't make much sense.

And I know that the memories of that pain were probably horrible, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. It's terrible that you can't speak right now..but the reason I'm telling you this is so you know that the Administrators are just messing with you again. You'll be able to speak again real soon!"

Dave let's out a silent scoff. It was so bitter and he just downright laughed. A book girl. Knows how the Administrators operate. That was fucking laughable. How fucking rich.

Was she dumb, she had to be.

He pulled another piece of crumpled paper out of his pocket, using a hardcover book to write.

why does it matter?
if youre right
why does it matter to you?
these memories are mine not his
he wont remember those 40 years when this all ends
that kid version of me didnt live to experience what i had
you dont tell an adult version of you their memories are fake because youve yet to experience them or because they arent real to you
just because theyre not real to you doesnt mean they werent a reality for someone else
to say something is a lie is to deny that existence
are you ok with denying me an existence for what you call a truth?
arent they both truths?
these memories can be fake and you can tell everyone until the sun doesnt shine
but theyre still real
theyre real because someone experienced them and recalls them as their own

He crumpled it up and threw the ball at her. The Administrators would change things back to normal. He already knew that. He didn't need a little girl to tell him that. He'd revert back to his age of fourteen who could speak and was still struggling, but that didn't matter to him. Speaking didn't matter to him because it wouldn't be him persay. It would be the kid version of him who was fourteen and didn't have forty years worth of memories of this place.

Tohko's glare only intensified when the guy started laughing at what she said. She didn't think anything of what she had said was funny.

Tohko failed to catch the ball, but she picked it up off the ground, carefully uncrumpled it, read it..and sighed.

"First..you probably shouldn't crumple up paper again. It makes things harder to read, and it's not kind to the paper.

Second..it matters to me because I hate seeing people think a lie is the truth when it's hurting them, or when the truth might help them.

And third..I'm not a philosopher or a scientist, so I might get this wrong, but if you'll forget the memories you have now when you go back to your original age, that means that the memories and experiences you remember and hold aren't set in stone. They can change. You can avoid things, and things that you remember happening may not happen to you at all. So..while it may be 'true' to you right now, in the end, it could just be a small, miniscule thing that will never be remembered and will never happen at all."

You know, you're giving him a hell lot of reason to keep crumpling his paper up. When you say it like that, it really just makes him more keen on doing it.

youre implying that its hurting me
except im content with where i stand
im not upset about being mute and im not upset with these memories
but you dont get decide whats the truth and whats not

He rubs his temples. She's not getting it. Okay, he'll just be blunt.

look
i know that things are going to go back to normal soon enough
nothing was ever set in stone for me
you think 40 years of being able to travel through time hasnt taught me that?
im as real as the fictional protagonist in your favorite fantasy book
i probably wont exist anywhere outside of this small pocket of time
arent you being more hurtful right now by reminding me i dont actually exist?
or at least
i wont exist passed this
so i ask you again
why does it matter to you?
if i think these memories are real and that im real why should you tell me otherwise?
dont you think its terrifying to think that you might cease to exist?
that youre part of a segment of time that will eventually disappear and no one will remember
thats something you always have to think about everytime you take the chance by creating a time loop
and thats probably my reality because i dont belong here
he does and hell be back and i wont

As Tohko read the notes, she sighed and smiled to herself.

"I can decide what the truth is for me..however..that doesn't men you have to agree with me. And the protagonists in stories are a bit more real than you realize. After all..after I read The Little Prince, for awhile, I was sure I heard the stars laughing with me sometimes when I gazed at them.

And I wasn't trying to hurt you. I apologize if I was..I was just letting you know..that you'll go back to how you were before this soon. And I don't think that the fact that I might vanish someday would be that terrifying. Even if people don't remember me, as long as they stay safe, then I probably wouldn't mind too much.

And..while you may not be here, you won't have to worry. I'll remember you."

Haha, that sounds a little like you're losing your mind, but he played a game where creating a new universe was through breeding frogs. SBURB is basically raising the bar for mixing fiction with nonfiction so he isn't really going to touch on that.

He weighed her words a bit, but it wasn't fair to knock her down. She didn't have to live with that fear and that was for the better. Constantly unsure whether it'll be your fate or not shouldn't be something anyone should have had to shoulder.

yea
well so will he
which is more or less something i rather not be a thing

At least as far as he remembers about himself when he was that age. The weight was a lot for a kid.

youre wasting your memories
dont worry about it too much
i lived a hard but content life for the most part

Which was good, as Tohko would ramble about The Little Prince and why you might hear the stars laugh and scream in pain after reading it.

After she read that, Tohko sighed. She hadn't worried about whether or not she would vanish from the world before..but she did have other worries. She worried about whether or not she would be seen as a goblin if someone accidentally found out her secret. She worried about whether or not Chia Takeda would keep living.

And the Tower had added to the pile. So, she would understand, even just a little, of what he was going through.

"..I don't think he'll vanish quite so easily..and since you and he are the same person, you'll both be fine. I would write a record of your memories before anything else happens so that you can remember this 'self' when you do revert..but I think, in the end, both your past and future will be fine.

And I don't think I'm wasting my memories by remembering you. While people have, for the most part, lived happy lives, that doesn't mean that they deserve to be forgotten by everyone.

..Does that make any sense?"

Dave shrugs. That's not quite how time travel works. He was once his younger self, but he isn't anymore. And his younger self will probably grow up different. Then again, Daves tended to have issue with being grouped as one person, but he wasn't going to dwell on that either.

He doesn't think recording anything would help much, plus he's sure he'll remember what happened anyways.

it makes sense but its off
im not him
or more like
he wont be me
as soon as his timeline shifts from my own we become two separate entities
hell experience different things than i have
its not really fair to lump us as the same person in that regard

this tower isnt too kind
people come and go and they come back with no recollection sometimes
its pretty damn cruel honestly
i dont really need to be remembered persay
hell remember pretty fine and he can avoid whatever mistakes i made

[At that, Tohko sighed again.]

I don't think this has anything to do with time travel..but I do understand what you're saying. And while this Tower is pretty cruel, it would be nice if you could make sure that your younger self could avoid whatever mistakes and dangers you ran into. Recording them would help with that. Remembering would help.

youre completely missing the point
this has nothing to do with time travel
its more like the concept of it and how time works
this has to do with the fact that were not the same person
its already been set in stone by the fact that i exist right now
this never happened to me in my timeline
i never got replaced by some older version of me at this point in time
which means hes not going to follow my path in the first place
and youre preaching to the choir
hes already sensitive to these kind of things
everytime he screws up an alternate version of him will take the hit and die
not that it matters to anyone else because only hell remember that
he doesnt need it recorded because he already has an instinctive knowledge of it
he has too because none of us likes seeing dead versions of ourselves pop up

[It kind of is like time travel. All the concepts behind it. Just that, it's also much more complicated than that.]

[Tohko read that note and..sighed. Her version of things was a bit simpler. This was why she avoided time-travel stories that had too much time-travel-it made her head spin.]

But..you are the same person. You've been aged up and given new memories by the Administrators, but you are the same person. At least..that's what I think.

[Man just think about the fact that this has to be a detrimental part of his life. You just gotta roll with it.

Dave literally just throws his writing instrument across the room. This is where he's so exasperated because he's already explained this over again oh jeez. He feels like he literally needs to create a doomed version of himself just so they can stand side by side.

But he also thinks she'd still refer to them as the same person. Problems. God damn it, now he's digging into his pocket to see if he even has a spare pencil or pen.]

[It was hard to just roll with stuff like this! And what made the situation all the worse was..that they had two different opinions about what had happened and both were too stubborn to see the other ones viewpoints.

Tohko sighed when Dave threw his pen across the room and ran after it. It was tough to find, but eventually, she came back carrying it.]

Geeze..don't throw your pens around just because you're frustrated! Pens are similar to a chef's pot or silver! They're quite important, so don't fling them around like they're toys!

[Except he's completely aware of who he is. He doesn't need to be told that he's Dave. He knows that.]

then dont say stupid shit
i was him
am him
but hell never be me
that would imply that hell eventually follow this same exact path
deal with the same shit
but really
keep jacking this up all you want because it honestly doesnt matter what you think or say
the only opinion that matters about my existence is his and my own
and youre honestly kind of an ass for saying otherwise

[He's actually more irritated at being told that he's the same person than he was outwardly expressing. It would be like Davesprite's existence being invalidated. Davesprite was Dave up until he stopped being Dave. Were they the same person? Yeah. Would Davesprite be considered the same person now? Oh hell no.

Also he throws it again because he's mature and he's getting sick of being reprimanded by her.]

[If he's so mature, then he should stop flinging pens around! Tohko runs for it again, but this time, he doesn't hand it to him.]

Honestly..stop throwing this! If it breaks, it'll be a waste, like a good pot getting thrown out for no reason. And while the younger you may experience things differently, and while you may have some memories that he'll never have to face, he may come to learn and experience some of the same things that you do.

[She gave him the pen again.]

If you toss that again, I'm going to confiscate it.

[He isn't mature at all, and he honestly doesn't care if he comes off as immature. He has no reason to try and impress her.

Especially when she's somehow hit every button that legitimately upset him. You just don't tell Daves they're all the same people. It was a rather sensitive and painful subject for him, forty years later.]

you dont have to worry about that
dont talk to me again
if youre going to keep considering us the same exact person than i have no reason to keep a conversation with someone like you

[He puts the pen back in his pocket. All she's done is tell him things he already knows and belittling him at the same time. He has plenty of experiences and he doesn't need someone talking to him as though she did too.]

[When she read that, Tohko sighed again, but..she kept smiling. Smiles were how she tried to deal with sadness.]

..Telling me not to worry isn't going to make me stop worrying. And if you don't want to talk to me, I'm not going to force you to. But..if you want to talk to me again, I would be more than happy to do so.

[Tohko sighed again, picked out three books from the shelf, and started walking off. She was hungry, but she felt like eating in her room today.]

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As we sift through the hour glass

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