towerofanimus | (no subject)

Characters: Luke and open.
Setting: Graveyard - Floor 48
Format: You pick.
Summary: Luke just had a massive info dump dropped on him, and now he has to try and figure himself out all over again.
Warnings: SO MANY GODDAMN FEELS.

Saber had escorted him back to his room after that whole... madness that went down in the middle of the hallway, but it wasn't like Luke could do anything at the moment. He felt... hurt, crushed; like something had smashed his insides to bits and all that was left was a pasty goo dripping out of his ears. He laid on his bed and rolled around for a little while, but it didn't do anything to assuage that feeling.

That was why he headed out, up to the forty-eighth floor where the graveyard was. He'd been meaning to for awhile -- he needed to check for Tear's gravestone after all -- but he hadn't exactly been willing to actually do it. Right now, though, he needed the peace and quiet away from everyone else... and when he finally located her grave marker, he sat down before it, curled up on the crowded, cold earth with a sigh.

...he will kill ten thousand people. That's what his future on Auldrant held for him.

Guy, his best friend since forever, was really royalty, and was hiding a secret from him that he "didn't need to know."

Just how much didn't he "need to know?"

He wanted to curl up and cry again, but he had already done plenty of that. Now he knew; he was a murderer, and ignorant, selfish murderer, and it was far too late for him to do a damn thing about it. How wrong he was about himself... he would have hated to see his Shadow now.

Luke let out a sigh as he huddled himself into a ball, able to feel Amnon against his chest from the cheagle's usual hiding place under his coat.

"Tear... I wish you were still here," he finally murmured softly. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I don't know how I can fix this... please, help me..."

He curled himself up tighter, burying his face in his knees.

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[Luke flinched at the familiar voice, shuddering slightly. He knew it was Yu, he could hear the slight difference in his voice compared to Guy's, but it was a small comfort. Hesitantly, he lifted his head, swiping at his eyes.]

...hi, Yu.

[It took a supreme amount of effort not to call him sensei. He wanted to, he wanted to believe that trusting Yu, or anyone, was okay, but...]

[Ten thousand people died.]

[Asch's words still rang in his head, made all the more potent because of the fact that he knew it was his fault. His ignorance, his dependence on someone he thought was even more precious to him than Yu was.]

[If he couldn't trust himself with Van, who could he trust himself with?]

[...Yeah, that was enough of a hint that something was wrong aside from the floor he found his friend on. The concern was likely written all over his face as he knelt down beside him.]

Want to talk about it?

[If not, he was just going to stay with him. Kid looks like he could use a friend right about now.]

[Luke didn't even answer, remaining quiet for a very long moment. Finally he let out a breath, reaching to swipe a hand over his eyes again in an effort to stop crying.]

...is it really okay for me to trust people like I do?

[He doesn't mind the silence as Luke tries to compose himself, but he can't really help but be confused about what he said.]

What do you mean?

[Luke swallowed hard, afraid to even look over at Yu. For a moment, he found his feet very interesting, and it almost didn't seem like he was going to explain at all. When he finally did speak, however, his voice was very soft, and sounding rather choked as well.]

...am I too trusting?

[He paused, before shaking his head.]

...or no, maybe I just can't see the obvious until it's too late.

[Luke sunk back, burying his face in his knees. This wasn't going well...]

Yu... I... never told you about my... my first sword master, did I?

[He doesn't answer the first question, because to be honest, he isn't really sure about that.]

No, you didn't. [He'll listen, though.]

[Luke took a shuddering breath, and for a moment it looked like he wasn't going to answer. Finally he lifted his head, plunging into it without thinking about what he was saying.]

Master Van... I've known him for as long as I can remember. He's the one that taught me everything about sword work, and... h-he's like a father to me, better than my father. He's always encouraged me, and tried to help me grow... and...

[He faltered then, shifting slightly so he could wrap his arms around his stomach.]

...h-he's the one that said I could be a hero. That... that I could runaway to Daath with him, so my hyperresonance wouldn't be used as a weapon.

[He's trying not to cry, he's really not. He hasn't told anyone outside of those from Auldrant about Van, and actually speaking about it, compiling everything he felt about Van into this, it just... it hurt.]

...he's... the one that made me. I exist because he replicated me from Asch. And... the only reason he did, was so he could use me to destroy ten thousand people. I... A-Asch just blurted it out over the network and... and I...

[He couldn't finish; he planted a hand over his eyes, rubbing the tears away.]