towerofanimus | 002 | ❝Don't pretend...❞

Entry tags:

002 | ❝Don't pretend...❞

Characters: [ou] Riku Replica and you!
Setting: Option 1: Floor 62, backdated to February 6th; option 2: Floor 78
Format: Starting with action, but I'll match you.
Summary: Repliku found floor 96 on accident and left in a hurry when he realized what was going on. Breakdowns ensue.
Warnings: Possible violent reactions.

Option 1 - Floor 62

[This wasn't the first time he'd wandered into a situation and come to find that he couldn't remember what happened. On the contrary, it was the second or maybe third. He couldn't recall anymore, even as he fled first the castle he wanted to never see again, then that floor. Why, why did he hate it though? Why did he have a bad feeling about all this?

What does he even do with these feelings that he can't shake?

He has no idea how long or how far he ran, only that for some reason, the sound of the waves of this floor seemed calming to him. Maybe he'd heard the sound somewhere before...? No, that didn't sound right. He'd only been in one place before now, hadn't h-

I always wondered why we're here, on this island. Suppose there are other worlds... how did we end up on this one?
... Did he say that? It didn't feel right. With a frustrated sigh, he walked to the water's edge, but didn't step into the artificial sea. Just watched the tide come in and out. For once, he felt calm. He didn't need to worry about things- Wait, what things? What was it that he needed to remember? And why did it hurt that he didn't?

'Maybe it's better that I don't remember...'

What would I want with a heart of a loser?!

His eyes widen, knees buckling underneath him as they hit the sand and hands went to his forehead. What-?

Like everything else, Namine will erase the memory of me knocking you flat... and implant the prettiest memories. So what if they're all lies?

N-no... NOOOOOOOOOOO!

If anyone should come close, they'll likely hear him muttering something unintelligible, the only thing understandable being:]

"No, stop. This isn't...

[Life sucks. Why can't he just stay faded away?]

Option 2 - floor 78, everywhere and anywhere

[It took a while for him to calm down, and thinking back on it, made a note to stay the hell away from floor 96 for his own sanity... or whatever's left of it. Still, it wasn't going to stop him from wandering and exploring the rest of the tower. When he got to the mailroom, however, he was surprised that he was handed a key to one of them. Wha-?

Then he saw which number mailbox it was for.

... He throws it across the room, before storming out. Nope, he can't handle it. But do you return the key to him? Or simply come across him somewhere else in the tower after?]

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Floor...96--

[It's all he can say for a moment until finally, the pain passes. That doesn't mean he's calmed down though, and for a moment, he isn't sure if he should be because of what she did due to them ordering her to. It's blurry, but the most he remembers about it is that pain, the electricity (which explains a few things), and-]

"I told you I'd make good use of you, didn't I?"

[It's like he spat it out, how he said it; all this anger he had no idea why it was there... now he did, and yet... he can only stare at his hands. Not react. Least of all against her. (Axel, on the other hand...)]

[She tucks the information away; she'd run across that floor briefly before and had immediately turned and left before getting more than a step away from the stairs. Her frown can only grow at that new knowledge, however; she's not yet certain how much damage the floor is capable of. Her hands tighten around each other.]

[Reflexively, she turns away slightly at those words, almost as if he did spit them - and in her direction, no less. Squeezing her eyes shut only briefly, she considers her words, but there's really only one thing she can say.]

... I'm so sorry.

[It's earnest and anguished and it's just not enough, because what's done is done and she knows it (and will always regret it).]

[He's stayed just long enough to forget why it made him flip out and get this far before literally breaking down. Even if the rest is a blur and he can't make more out of it; it hurt, knowing she was the one to do this to him. Someone he trusted, fake memories or not.

Rep looks up for a moment when she says those three words. Almost as if shocked even though he's still shaking with (fear? anger? both? who knew). What he did know was... he needed to ask something.]

... Why-?

[Why was she sorry, why did she do this... could be either one, but it's most likely the latter.]

[Her eyes sting as they're lowered toward the ground. It's so hard to look at him, but-- he deserves to be looked in the eye, she thinks. So maybe it's a small thing, but she can at least give him his due now, can't she? She forces her eyes toward him and to his, sorrow in them and the frown on her lips.]

Because I was afraid. I was too weak to stand up to them when I should have.

[For him, for Sora - but it wouldn't have been for herself, because chances were they wouldn't have left her a self to stand up for. It's an answer to both questions at once.]

I failed you and Sora both. I... can never say I'm sorry enough times to make up for that.

[He listens ~~for once~~ as she explains herself, and part of him he can still feel tense and want to strangle the life from those who made her do this (maybe even hurt her)... but they aren't here aside from Axel, and they were gone already. They wouldn't be able to hurt them again or make them hurt one another ever again.

He shakes his head. Hurt, yes, and he wanted to lash out... but he couldn't bring himself to.]

...Then don't. [He looks away, slowly standing.] I can't say I'm not mad, or that I hate this... but at least you tried to stop it.

[Stop him from doing something he'd regret, tried to tell the truth, survive that hell... It was more than he could say for himself.

When he looked over, there was a faint attempt at a smirk; just like before.]

You and Sora were all I had left, and I still did what I did. [Aka, was a tool again.] So I... can't hold it against you. Axel, on the other hand...

[~~Personality moooom, he's being mean agaaaaaiiiin~~ You won't tell if he blast the smirk off his face with a Dark Firaga, right? Because the jerk is really ticking him off again.]

[Aside from if the tower were to see fit to draw them to it - but that's not something Naminé is about to bring up at a time like this. It's not something she'd like to bring up at the best of times. It's been so long since she's come to the tower and so much has happened, things both good and bad, that it seems so much less likely now - but the fear is still very much alive and well. (Accompanying it is the fear that she will one day again be weak.)]

[She'd not blame him if he did; part of her actually wishes he would. It wouldn't help alleviate the guilt, but it might offer him some relief at least - that way she'd get what she deserved. She blinks as he stands, straightening slightly herself. She does not say that she failed him then, too, because he's still got more to say - and that attempt at a smirk only makes her heart twist all the more.]

... I understand. [~~That doesn't mean it's okay to maim the guy, but she understands.~~] I know apologies aren't enough. [... As for Axel, well,] He's... hurt a lot of people, but he's helped some of them, too. [She pauses, then shakes her head. Quietly,] Sometimes I think-- I should have tried harder to stop you. I was trying to let you make your own choices, but--.... [But that doesn't mean she doesn't feel responsible for the choice he did make and what it meant for him. Sigh, Naminé.]

[He doesn't want to think about it. Not really. There was enough to worry about in the grand scheme of things without worrying about whether or not they'd have to worry about harming each other. Still, just listening to what she has to say after he answered her apology and explanation?

It makes him freeze up a bit inside, and he doesn't know what to do about that either.

"Riku" rolls his eyes, and without thinking about it farther... lightly pokes her on the forehead. Just to get her attention, or something else. Because hey, wasn't that where that light appeared on his own forehead?]

Stop that. [Karma. He can sometimes use it.] I don't care what he has or hasn't done, and even if you did try... I probably would have left to find my own answers anyway. So don't beat yourself up for things I did; not you.

[He knew that much at least. ~~hey he'd heal.~~]

[Her eyes search his expression and demeanor carefully. She's not sure what kind of response she's hoping for, only that it's what's best for him. Being poked on the forehead, however, was not even close to what she expected. She blinks, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.]

--....

[She presses her lips together again, looking over at him with at first uncertain eyes that slowly calm. The guilt is still there, but-- she nods.]

You always did have a strong will.

[Not one that she couldn't have cheated to break, no - but that... that might have been even worse. She pauses, obviously considering something. Then, carefully,]

Would you do it again?

[He pauses for a moment, trying to gauge her reaction for the longest time before shaking his head. Strong will? ...He wasn't so sure about that. He's been scared senseless and wound up and angry and frustrated for as long as he could remember. And all that time, it'd been for the wrong reasons.]

...

[What would he have done, if he could go back and change his decision? Would he do the same? Let himself be used like that then? ...He doesn't know, but, a part of him thinks-]

Yes.

[Maybe he would have. ...He didn't have anyone else to fight for, no purpose. At least that's what he thought when he was pretty sure Sora would choose his old memories. He always was an idiot like that. But then...

He looks at the girl in front of him again, so much older than he remembered. What had happened to her when he faded away? Should he care when everything he'd believed in was a lie? ...Would things have been different if he stayed?]

...Maybe. I don't know.

[And never will. But then, what was the point?]

[Her expression shifts slightly, inscrutably at the first part of his answer, and again at the second. It's hard to tell what she's thinking, but there's the slightest hint of something like relief at the end. For a little while, she just looks back at him, just studies the person she spent so long thinking she'd never see again because of that same decision he's just said he might repeat.]

[Things might indeed have been different - though whether it would have been for better or worse is unclear. She supposes it doesn't matter, though - either way... she'd have wanted him to live. But what she wants is of little consequence, in that as in most things. She has no right to him, in truth, when those memories were fake. She knows that - always knew that - and yet, she cannot help but feel responsible for him, can't help wishing him the best. Friends or not.]

[After a moment, she works out a small, apologetic smile.]

I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. I... know it's a hard question to answer.

Edited 2013-03-28 18:35 (UTC)

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002 | ❝Don't pretend...❞

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whoops events killed me for a bit there ;n;

Pffff <33333333333333333333333333