ARCHER ♤ an unknown hero. ♤ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
swordedpast) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-03-20 09:58 pm
swordedpast) wrote in towerofanimus2013-03-20 09:58 pm
Entry tags:
The serpent tangles in the lion's claw;
Characters: Archer (swordedpast) and OPEN.
Setting: Various places in the tower during the event, March 17th through March 23rd.
Format: Tagger's choice.
Summary: After a week of brooding, Archer throws himself into preparing for the worst when the weather goes wild.
Warnings: Nothing so far.
Archer is not sociable at the best of times in the tower. The most contact he's likely to have with its other residents is when he's cooking Rin's breakfast, and he doesn't exactly make a habit of being friendly then, either.
But for the past week he's been virtually invisible. Literally: nearly any time he can get away with it, he's been in spirit form, nothing more than a lurking presence around the corner. The return of his muddled memories of the Fifth Holy Grail War, and his part in it, has left him more inclined to brood than ever. So anyone with decent spiritual awareness may, in the days leading up to the start of the spring storms, notice a wandering presence, a nearby sense of power, drifting through the stairs and the floors of the tower--but shying away from making contact with anyone. On rare instances, that same presence can be spotted on one of the quieter floors, this time in corporeal form, brooding in some corner. But he speaks with no one.
At least, until the rains start. Then he's a man with a mission.
[ SPRING: floor 80 ⇒ stairs ⇒ dormitories. ]
[ It's one thing to get food when the cafeteria is empty and the restaurant not functioning, but that won't matter if none of it can be kept dry. Archer himself hardly needs to eat or stay out of the rain, but Rin does, and so he's on a quest to find materials for shelter. He finds success at the top of the fourth block, on the floor with the circus. Carefully avoiding the sinister clowns, he grabs a relatively small tent, pulls the tarp down, and sets out to carry it back to the dormitories, where he'll be taking it to room 1-15 and setting it up to provide shelter.
What? Yes, it's theft, but it's not like the worker units are around right now to stop him. ]
[ SUMMER: various floors ]
[ The heat doesn't bother Archer. He doesn't need to eat or drink, and physical discomfort has been the least of his problems for a very long time now. So the sultry and stifling heat of summer is nothing but an opportunity for him to head out searching for food and water for Rin. Any floor that might have something that can be scavenged for food falls to his attention--he searches for edible plants on floor 101, he seeks water among the crystals on floor 99, he tries to grab fish on floor 79 (though the water there seems to be salty, and not drinkable), he checks for meltwaters on floor 66, and--
--when the thunderstorms come, he is briefly trapped on floor 68, dodging lightning as he dashes up the stairs. He can't simply go to spirit form when he's carrying food. ]
[ AUTUMN: floor 89 ⇒ stairs ⇒ dormitories. ]
[ By now it's clear enough what's going on. Spring came first, then summer, and now it's fall: that means winter is next. So, with his previous brooding well and truly set aside for the moment, Archer is making a serious effort to stock up on certain supplies. That means that, once again, it's time for some judicious theft.
The hotel has the most pertinent of those supplies, which is why he can be found carting heaping piles of heavy blankets to the stairs and then back up to the dormitories. He has even less patience now for anyone who might try to stop him than he did a few days ago when it was only water he was defending against. He expects winter to be brutal, and no one will stop him from defending his Master against it. ]
[ WINTER: closed to Rin. ]
[ It's time.
Archer has barely spoken to Rin since the fairies' geas wore off. He's brought her breakfasts without a word. He's set up that tent for her during the rains. He's guarded her during the thunderstorms and the tornados. But he's been a silent presence throughout.
Now, as he appears to present her with the piles of blankets he stocked up during autumn (along with some scrounged supplies of food and drink, carefully prepared to hide their humble origins), he's prepared to finally talk in order to convince her to use them properly. ]
swordedpast) and OPEN.Setting: Various places in the tower during the event, March 17th through March 23rd.
Format: Tagger's choice.
Summary: After a week of brooding, Archer throws himself into preparing for the worst when the weather goes wild.
Warnings: Nothing so far.
Archer is not sociable at the best of times in the tower. The most contact he's likely to have with its other residents is when he's cooking Rin's breakfast, and he doesn't exactly make a habit of being friendly then, either.
But for the past week he's been virtually invisible. Literally: nearly any time he can get away with it, he's been in spirit form, nothing more than a lurking presence around the corner. The return of his muddled memories of the Fifth Holy Grail War, and his part in it, has left him more inclined to brood than ever. So anyone with decent spiritual awareness may, in the days leading up to the start of the spring storms, notice a wandering presence, a nearby sense of power, drifting through the stairs and the floors of the tower--but shying away from making contact with anyone. On rare instances, that same presence can be spotted on one of the quieter floors, this time in corporeal form, brooding in some corner. But he speaks with no one.
At least, until the rains start. Then he's a man with a mission.
[ SPRING: floor 80 ⇒ stairs ⇒ dormitories. ]
[ It's one thing to get food when the cafeteria is empty and the restaurant not functioning, but that won't matter if none of it can be kept dry. Archer himself hardly needs to eat or stay out of the rain, but Rin does, and so he's on a quest to find materials for shelter. He finds success at the top of the fourth block, on the floor with the circus. Carefully avoiding the sinister clowns, he grabs a relatively small tent, pulls the tarp down, and sets out to carry it back to the dormitories, where he'll be taking it to room 1-15 and setting it up to provide shelter.
What? Yes, it's theft, but it's not like the worker units are around right now to stop him. ]
[ SUMMER: various floors ]
[ The heat doesn't bother Archer. He doesn't need to eat or drink, and physical discomfort has been the least of his problems for a very long time now. So the sultry and stifling heat of summer is nothing but an opportunity for him to head out searching for food and water for Rin. Any floor that might have something that can be scavenged for food falls to his attention--he searches for edible plants on floor 101, he seeks water among the crystals on floor 99, he tries to grab fish on floor 79 (though the water there seems to be salty, and not drinkable), he checks for meltwaters on floor 66, and--
--when the thunderstorms come, he is briefly trapped on floor 68, dodging lightning as he dashes up the stairs. He can't simply go to spirit form when he's carrying food. ]
[ AUTUMN: floor 89 ⇒ stairs ⇒ dormitories. ]
[ By now it's clear enough what's going on. Spring came first, then summer, and now it's fall: that means winter is next. So, with his previous brooding well and truly set aside for the moment, Archer is making a serious effort to stock up on certain supplies. That means that, once again, it's time for some judicious theft.
The hotel has the most pertinent of those supplies, which is why he can be found carting heaping piles of heavy blankets to the stairs and then back up to the dormitories. He has even less patience now for anyone who might try to stop him than he did a few days ago when it was only water he was defending against. He expects winter to be brutal, and no one will stop him from defending his Master against it. ]
[ WINTER: closed to Rin. ]
[ It's time.
Archer has barely spoken to Rin since the fairies' geas wore off. He's brought her breakfasts without a word. He's set up that tent for her during the rains. He's guarded her during the thunderstorms and the tornados. But he's been a silent presence throughout.
Now, as he appears to present her with the piles of blankets he stocked up during autumn (along with some scrounged supplies of food and drink, carefully prepared to hide their humble origins), he's prepared to finally talk in order to convince her to use them properly. ]
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--and yet it also wasn't. Naturally, he focused on the latter.
"Don't be stupid, Saber. The way you are now, you should get it much better than that. You're another guardian...you should understand what I'm doing with Rin Matou."
I apologize if I'm waaaay off the mark here. ._.
Though she could guess. After everything she had heard from her other self about Sakura, everything she had heard from Kariya about the Matous' magic, she could guess in the way the hair on the back of her neck rose and the chill down her spine when she ran into Rin. Yet she was determined to give her the benefit of the doubt. No one she knew who was a vessel for the Grail had wanted it, had ever been malicious while still in their right mind.
And if Archer had truly been through the same thing she had, then she understood very well why he would choose to look after Rin, to keep her from breaking down. The last thing he would want would be to kill someone with a familiar face even if death here is meaningless.
The fact she was in the likeness of his former Master and boyhood friend probably made it all the worse.
Still, these were only guesses. Only conjectures. She could not begin to guess what was going through Archer's mind. If he chose not to tell her then there was nothing that could be done. He had always been a stubborn sort.
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"I shouldn't need to say it, but you're still hoping too much for the best, aren't you?" The frustration was gone. His eyes were cold. "I stay at her side because she is the greatest threat to this tower and the people in it, outside of the administrators themselves. She is what we would have been called on to destroy in our worlds, Saber. I might have failed my duty to the world there, but I will not here. I will keep her from falling to the darkness, or I will strike her down. Either one asks that I stay at her side."
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Camelot: the people melting in the streets, screaming in agony as it spread, screaming at her as she was made to cut through each and every person. Despite how painful the memory was her voice was pure steel. She had told him she would not let him see her break down again and so she killed the anguish before it tore at her, made her voice shake with the knowledge she'd massacred her own kingdom.
It was amazing how easy it was getting to block out her emotions again. Perhaps it really was like riding a bicycle.
"So you'll forgive me if, after seeing the worst case scenario, I hope it doesn't come to that. And that, if it does, you will have the compassion for her we're normally not allowed."
That he would make it as quick and painless as possible instead of cutting the girl down and moving on.
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He had nothing. Until now--
He finds himself biting his lip for a second in frustration.
"I'd say that compassion won't be necessary in such a circumstance, but that isn't true. She'll come back. She'll remember."
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Even if Arturia knew that it wouldn't make the hurt go away, wouldn't make the feeling of betrayal stop. If anything, Rin would likely be worse off after someone who had protected and looked out for her watched her. Who would she be able to trust after such a thing occurred? If that were the case, then perhaps an alternative was in order:
"And if the burden of it is too much.... I'll do it in your stead." She'd taken her sword to those she held dear before, both of her own will and against. Why not Rin as well to spare Archer the pain of killing his own Master even as the thought alone made her taste the bile rising in her throat?
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"No. Rin Matou is my Master to guard, my terror to watch, and my burden to bear."
And for a moment, he was almost smiling. There was almost fondness in his eyes, although it was bleak.
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"Then should you ever carry out that burden know that I will be willing to assist in anything you need."
In other words, she was willing to be an ear to listen should he need one once he shot his blades through Matou Rin's body.
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As he always did.
"You make it sound like you wish to be my friend, Saber." He gave a shake of his head over the blankets in his arms. "Don't you know that's impossible?"
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Could she even make friends? Lancelot she had called her friend once upon a time, but she had never had many and, besides, how did she even maintain a friendship? It was a hard concept to grasp. With Lancelot it had sort of happened and was more because Guinevere insisted on calling him a friend. With anyone else....
....Kay, perhaps. Irisviel had been her Lady, which was different. Rin had held the same position as one of Arturia's Ladies. Shirou had been her lover, if anything. But friends....?
"Ah, forgive me," she said, forcing herself into step with him and pushing the strange thoughts down, "I must remind myself you're not the Archer I knew. I did not have much time to know him."
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"None of us had much time," he said finally, focusing his gaze up the steps. "I have served Rin Matou longer than I ever did Rin Tohsaka." Yet it felt strange to admit such a thing. "How did I perish in your war, Saber?"
He knew he did, of course. Otherwise, he told himself, she wouldn't have had the opportunity to kill Shirou herself.
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"Ilyasviel had kidnapped Shirou and I.... I had defeated Rider the previous night and had been in danger of using up all my mana reserves. Shirou had left the house to think because Rin had told him the only way to keep me in this world had been to force me to consume souls."
And they both knew Shirou nor her would ever abide by that. Saber had told Rin she'd sooner take her own life than do such a horrid thing.
"Shirou had not returned when I finally awoke and we went looking. The people in the park said he went off with Ilya and I.... well, I know the Einzbern Manor like the back of my hand. I still do not know how I made it there on my own two legs, but I did. We found Shirou, freed him, but Ilya and Berserker cornered us. Rin told you to stall while the three of us fled because I could barely walk, much less fight."
She grinned a bit there, bitter, regretful because if she had been more adequate she could have fought alongside him. If Rin and Shirou had listened and left her there so they could flee, Shirou would still be alive. If she had not killed Shirou, Archer's sacrifice would not have ultimately been a waste.
"You impressed me there. You asked her if it was all right to defeat him. Even in the face of death you were arrogant and sure and I knew you had been summoned as a Heroic Spirit for a reason."
And after that, heat and pain and the start of so many confusing emotions. She fought to keep the emotions associated with that night down, but it was hard. She kept her eyes locked on the blankets to make sure she would not look him in the eye.
"And you did defeat him. Six times over. Unfortunately, Berserker had six more lives left."
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He hesitated for a moment, and a note of regret crept into his voice. "It must have galled Rin to give me up to a fight she knew I could not win." And then--resolution. "She should have taken that kid's command spells and won the war with you afterwards."
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She tried to push the memory and the emotions associated with it down. It was a struggle, as most of her memories of the Fifth Grail War had been, and she hoped Archer wasn't paying too much attention to it.
"--we managed to finish him off. If even one of us had been missing, none of us would have survived. If it were not for Shirou, I guarantee Rin would have been crushed to death in Berserker's grip. You would be proud of her: she managed to end one of his lives under her own power during that fight. It's desperate struggles such as that which bind people together. I don't think it occurred to her after that to even take his Command Spells."
no subject
He said nothing until she was finished. Then he looked away for a second before speaking.
"'Supplied with mana.'" His tone dripped with disdain. Not for her, of course. For that boy who'd done the supplying.
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Oh who was she kidding? He had to know. He had to have guess. That realization was like a gate fell down inside her and the everything about that confusing desperate night flooded her. Her face was burning just thinking about it. "It.... it was Rin's idea and.... and I could barely move, but what could I do when we could have been found at any moment and had no other options and I never felt like that, much less been with anyone like that before and--and--"
She forced herself to stop, realizing she was starting to sound like a child. It hadn't been an ideal situation, but it had happened and there was nothing she could do to change it. The same as when she'd done it again later for the sake of both mana and because she knew it'd be likely she wouldn't get another chance.
Yet, she found herself asking very quietly: "Does it always hurt like that?"
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His own face was turning red. He forced himself to stop. But still, the thought of Saber like that--once upon a time he'd seen her as a woman, of course. A girl. A beautiful one. But over the years and eons that had faded, scrubbed away until she was instead a shining star to him. But to this other Shirou, she'd been something more.
He stood there, struck with renewed pangs of jealousy. Not because of the sex another version of himself had had with Saber, but because of the simple closeness he'd had. It only made him more bitter and angry. "No. It shouldn't hurt like that--" Another memory. A more recent one. Rin in his arms. "But it seems Shirou Emiya is destructive in all matters of love."
And something occurs to him. The timing. The timing this must have had. His eyes widen, and his voice when he speaks next is almost indignant. "You were doing this while I was dying for you! Rin was losing her Servant while you two went at it like particularly stupid animals!"
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Congratulations, Archer. Saber was well and truly flustered. If she wasn't carrying a bunch of blankets for Rin she would likely have been flailing right then. Well, probably not, but she certainly did feel like flailing like Taiga often did just to lessen the sudden surge of embarrassment and the sting from the accusation.
"Believe me, I doubt Rin would have suggested it, much less helped me when I had trouble with it if you were still alive! I would have insisted she use the Command Spells to call you to us if you hadn't!"
She really would have. If it hadn't been the very last resort, the only chance they had. For all of her claims she was a knight and letting them use her body to give them a fighting chance, she would have insisted on Archer being there. Maybe letting it happen was the first step down the slippery slope, but Rin and Shirou refused to leave her like she had demanded and now....
Now she was stuck in a Tower trying to defend herself from Archer. How low could she sink?
1/2
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And her heart was squeezing tight just thinking about it, a lump in her throat as she thought of that night, that
"It.... it isn't any of your business," she said, holding out the blankets to him because she knew she couldn't face Rin Matou now. Not with memories of Rin Tohsaka kissing her, touching her, of Rin's voice trying to direct her and Shirou in doing the act before she chose to join in with both of them. The last she'd seen of Rin Tohsaka had been before Arturia had the thought Shirou was in trouble and gone after him. And then....
....then Arturia killed Shirou, spitting in the face of everything the three of them went through.
"I apologize. I...." she took a deep breath, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. If she kept talking about this then she had a feeling she'd want to break down again and she had told Archer he would never see that again. If she could keep her word about anything, she wished to keep it about that.
"I can't finish this. I shall make it up to you in the future." There was an almost bitter smile on her face.
"And you're right: she wouldn't have."
no subject
All of this was just more proof. Being Shirou Emiya's Servant had broken Saber. He'd thought the way she faded away with regret still in her eyes at the end of his Holy Grail War was bad enough. In another one, she was thrown to the mud of the Grail; in another one, she was lured into betraying her own self by killing her worthless Master.
"If Rin Tohsaka had been your Master, none of that would have happened. And none of this." He nodded coolly at her. At the white dress and the familiarly bitter eyes.
"You don't have anything to make up to me."
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She hated it. She hated it all. Some part of Arturia wanted to scream, tear off this ridiculously feminine raiment and burn it, toss Caliburn into the lake in the hopes it would go back to the Lady, and cut all her hair off until she wasn't this overly feminine parody of herself anymore. Until all signs of who and what she had once been were gone from even her very being. Maybe then the pain would stop. Maybe then she could look Rin Matou in the eye and not see Rin Tohsaka in her place.
"I said I would help you take this to Rin and...."
Her voice faltered for a moment, but she forced herself to be firm. Why did it matter if Rin had been her master or not? Arturia has no doubt in her mind she would have ultimately betrayed the girl as well. That's all she was, wasn't it? A failure playing at king, a child who feigned at being a hero. She couldn't even be a proper Guardian. If she had then she would still be running her sword through innocent and guilty alike and she would not have been begging in her mind for it to stop.
"....and I cannot face her with memories of.... of that night in my mind at this moment," she said, hating herself all the more because she had been doing well in moving on until now, "I will make it up to you in the future."
She thought of Shirou, the one in the Tower, and the time she'd been spending around him. Perhaps, even knowing he would pursue her, she should avoid him. Tell him to stay away from her. Perhaps.... perhaps even make him think she hated him. It's a wild thought and Arturia was aware it was due to mainly to how upset she had become, but the idea lingered even as the vice around her chest squeezed so tight she thought she might suffocate at any moment.