towerofanimus | I've been fumbling with your heartstrings

Entry tags:

I've been fumbling with your heartstrings

Characters: Archer (

swordedpast) and Sakura Matou (

cherrygrail)
Setting: Outside room 01-01 on Wednesday, April 24th.
Format: Prose to start, whatever works as it goes on.
Summary: Having cut his ties with Rin, Archer enlists Sakura's help in seeing that his erstwhile Master is safe.
Warnings: Oblique references to sexual abuse.

In the days following the release from the modifications and brainwashing that plagued the residents of the tower, there's a mysterious presence around room 01-01. No one is visible. It's just a sense of magical power. Nothing but a presence, gone as quickly as it arrives.

Five days after things go back to normal, insofar as normal exists in this insular little world, the presence outside the room becomes more than a flickering ghost.

Archer materializes there, leaning against the wall opposite the door to the room, and he waits for Sakura Matou to emerge. His expression is as cold as ever. But it might also be a bit more empty than usual. Of course, it's usually pretty empty, so that's a hard thing to judge, really.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sakura's breathing heavily, obviously winded. And she didn't dress for the weather either, so she's shaking slightly. However, not a word of complaint comes out of her. Instead, she just nods.

"Shall we?"

He doesn't seem to show any sympathy for her exertion, or, for that matter, for her chill. But he does slow down a bit as he walks into the castle and through its halls--and he does finally pick one of the warmer rooms to stop in.

Archer ducks behind a row of hanging tapestries, all torn and tattered things that might once have depicted a heroic battle, into a sheltered alcove where no snow hits the ground. And there he looks calmly at Sakura and says, "I am no longer Rin Matou's Servant."

That empty look in his eyes surfaces once more.

A cross look instantly betrays Sakura's otherwise cute features. You don't see her mad very often, but right now, she actually does look fairly annoyed.

"That seems irresponsible of you. What happened to Rin's servant who wanted to save her no matter what?"

Is that a hint of guilt on his face?

It can't be. He wipes it away quickly so he can speak with no emotion but a trace of bitterness. "That Servant was a fool who underestimated certain powers. What happened to him? It's not your business, but he was reminded of some harsh truths about his unreliability." His lip curls. "I'm not suited to watch over her--she needs a purer and stronger hero with nobler intentions. Well, it's something like that. You wouldn't understand."

With a straight face and a bitter voice, he tells Sakura she wouldn't understand what it's like to consider yourself unworthy.

Sakura eases up a bit, after that. It's probably for the best that the servant now understands his limits instead of overestimating his reach. She does still feel a little upset, but for a completely different reason. Obviously, Archer has no idea who she is, the two are as good as strangers in her mind. Sakura knows everything about feeling unworthy, disgusting, and pitiful. Feeling herself slip into an uncontrollable darkness is something that she'd never forget, even into her older years.

But she approaches the topic calmly. Yelling at Archer about her own insecurities won't help Rin Matou any.

"And so, for whatever reason, you've chosen me?" After all, why else would he have dragged her out into the middle of nowhere?

The moment passes. Archer finishes venting his bitterness so bleakly and so calmly, all while oblivious to Sakura's feelings. At least for the moment.

And he gives her a look that's almost puzzled. "Naturally. You are her sister. And you've been along the same path as her, haven't you? Someone saved you--" There's a moment of hesitation there. Something flickers at the back of his eyes before he pushes it away. "Someone saved you, but you know what it was like before that."

"Of course I do."

Sakura breathes in and out, exhaling the cold air and letting it fill her lungs. She's picking her words carefully, thinking about what Shirou must have been thinking about when he decided to save her. No one would be happy with her if she took such an extreme roll, but hopefully she could calm her sister before things got as worse as they did with her.

"I can do it. I will be Nee-san's savior."

But he's shaking his head already, his gaze detached and remote. "I'm not asking you to be her savior." His tone is casual. "That's really a huge task for someone who probably only just got saved herself, isn't that right? And besides, she still may go mad at the sight of you. Take these things into account, Sakura."

His tone is like he's discussing the breakfasts he once made for Rin. If he let any more emotion into it, it could be his downfall.

"But I trust that you'll be able to provide some support, and you'll know who else can give her more."

Sakura nods at that. She's already made up her mind, but she's a very good liar.

"You're right. I need to be careful. And, of course, I'll tell my servant about this so she can help as well."

She already understand that Alter is closer to Rin than she is. Though she has no idea about the nature of their relationship, she knows that Saber will be an invaluable ally in helping her sister.

Edited 2013-04-26 04:39 (UTC)

And of all people, Archer is not one who might see through Sakura Matou's lies. So he simply accepts that nod at face value and considers her next words. "Yeah. Your Saber knows what it's like to be tainted as well, doesn't she? She can provide what Rin needs--"

He pauses.

"Some of it. There's--" The slightest pause, and he lowers his gaze a bit. "There's another thing. I imagine you know about this one too."

"What is it?"

For Archer to hesitate, it must be something interesting. He's usually so to the point about everything...

He takes a breath. He's going to be blunt about this too, but it'll take him a moment to get there.

"She needs someone to sate the urges of her body."

Well, that's as close as he can get to blunt. He closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them again and forces himself to continue. "She might have someone already, but I can't be certain he's good enough."

Luckily, she doesn't have to be told what that means.

"I certainly hope you're not implying that should be part of my duty. After all, we're sisters... and..."

And this hits a bit too close to home. Even if everything is consented to beforehand, she still doesn't feel comfortable planning this out.

"... I'll figure something out. Do you know the name of this man? I'll need to speak to him."

A shadow flickers across Archer's face, there and gone as quickly as a ghost, as Sakura grasps his meaning without further explanation. Fortunately, it's replaced by an awkward frown at her objection. "Of course I'm not implying any such thing. But if I'm not there to--" He doesn't finish the sentence, instead moving on. "Then you might be able to help her find someone."

A beat. "I'll speak with this other man myself. But if he no longer supplies her, it will fall to you to find her someone who will. Do you accept that, Sakura Matou?"

"As I said, I can deal with the problem."

She crosses her arms at that. Sakura's not hiding the fact that this doesn't sit right with her. Honestly, that sounds like a request from Zouken to her. While she understands the importance better than anyone else, she won't do anything to hurt her sister.

It's probably better that she finds someone to deal with the problem herself, seeing as Archer clearly has no idea what he's dealing with.

There's at least one difference, though. Archer lowers his eyes when he speaks of these things, and the faintest of blushes lies on his cheeks. So maybe he's not even seeing how poorly this sits with Sakura.

"Then that's all I need to impart to you. I'll go on my way, and Rin will be taken care of." His voice is totally neutral, so it's hard to tell if he's convincing himself or not.

He pauses before turning away, though. "Well, there might be one more thing, but it's unrelated."

"If we're here, you might as well."

She's still a little frustrated with him, but her general goodwill towards all stops her from turning him away.

Edited 2013-04-28 01:15 (UTC)

He speaks casually. As if it's nothing. As if it's totally incidental to him. "When I first arrived here, the Einzbern homunculus told me something."

(And if he calls Illya that, he doesn't have to confront the fact that she was once important to him.)

"She said that Shirou Emiya threw away his ideals to save you. I told her it was impossible, but I suppose you'd know better. Is it true?"

Sakura looks up to meet Archer's eyes. Her face actually shows a bit of surprise at that question, mostly because she has no idea why that would be important to him to begin with. Since she has nothing to hide on the matter, her shocked look melts away to a warm smile.

"He did. Shirou Emiya was the person who saved me those months ago."

The way his eyes flash in response to that might be a bit too personal. "And I'll tell you the same thing I told her. It's impossible. That kid can't give up his ideals; he'd be destroyed if he tried."

His mouth sets into a bitter line. "You should be wary of him. He'll turn on you as soon as protect you, if he needed to. It's probably only good fortune that allowed him to save you rather than destroy you."

Sakura just smiles more at that. Archer should be getting some weird vibes from her, it's almost like that smile's hiding something more dangerous.

"You understand more than you realize. In order to save me, Senpai destroyed himself... Well, not completely, thanks to a miracle on Illya's part." Even Archer should get what that means, hopefully. "You won't believe how difficult it is to find a replacement body."

"That's natural." Archer seizes on that knowledge as if it makes everything better. Even though it doesn't. Shirou still shouldn't have been able to give up his ideals. How...?

"Don't be so calm about it." He sees the danger underneath that smile, but he doesn't care. Who is he to care about danger? "You may find a replacement body, but you'll never bring back his heart. In the end, he doesn't have one."

"I don't know what kind of relationship you have with Shirou Emiya, and I don't care. It's obvious by your words that you know nothing about him."

She moves towards the drapery, the exit to the room, with her face towards Archer. She doesn't trust him enough to turn her back to him.

"You understand what I'll do for Nee-san, but you still have no idea what I'll do for Emiya. Please keep that in mind."

It's not her professed lack of caring that breaks through Archer's cold and bitter demeanor. It's what follows: the assertion that he knows nothing about Shirou Emiya. His mouth pulls into a snarl, and he leans forward as if about to attack.

But he has no reason to attack this girl. And how can he? He's just entrusted Rin's safety and emotional health, such as it is, to her.

Instead he leans back a little. He lets the tension slowly drain out of his pose. He returns to giving her the coldest stare. "I'll remember that."

And he packs as much contempt and disappointment into those three words as he can.

That contempt wasn't lost on Sakura. She gives a slight bow in return.

"Thank you for putting your faith in me."

And then she's off, back into the frosty wasteland. She can find her own way back, she doesn't need your help, Archer.

As for Archer? He's just going to lurk here behind the tapestries for a little while longer. In the cold and the shadows: that's where he belongs.

He needs some time on his own to be melodramatic and sad, all right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've been fumbling with your heartstrings

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject