Claudia Hortensia Kotomine [AU: Master] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sicharia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-05-31 10:27 pm
sicharia) wrote in towerofanimus2013-05-31 10:27 pm
Entry tags:
[closed][backdated to the afternoon]
Characters: [AU9] Claudia & [OU] Diarmuid
Setting: Floor 62
Format: Action
Summary: A new entry in Lancer's log of failed attempts to meddle with Diarmuid's love life.
Warnings: Will add if anything comes up.
[Claudia hadn't been sure what to make of the package she had received, or the accompanying letter. The roses, and the chocolate— It's obviously a romantic gesture, and in all honesty, she doubts she has made that kind of impression on anyone she has met in this place so far.]
[So, then, it's only natural that she feel suspicious when she arrives on the appointed floor. Despite her inability to defend herself and her uncertainty, she does as directed, though not without first praying that her decision be a wise one. In a place where death is impermanent, she can afford to act a little recklessly, especially when there's a chance that the meeting actually is important.]
[Her posture is cautious and her expression guarded as she scans the area for signs of another person.]
Setting: Floor 62
Format: Action
Summary: A new entry in Lancer's log of failed attempts to meddle with Diarmuid's love life.
Warnings: Will add if anything comes up.
[Claudia hadn't been sure what to make of the package she had received, or the accompanying letter. The roses, and the chocolate— It's obviously a romantic gesture, and in all honesty, she doubts she has made that kind of impression on anyone she has met in this place so far.]
[So, then, it's only natural that she feel suspicious when she arrives on the appointed floor. Despite her inability to defend herself and her uncertainty, she does as directed, though not without first praying that her decision be a wise one. In a place where death is impermanent, she can afford to act a little recklessly, especially when there's a chance that the meeting actually is important.]
[Her posture is cautious and her expression guarded as she scans the area for signs of another person.]
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[As soon as he hears her say she is a master, Diarmuid understands. Still, he smiles gently at her. If she thinks that he will begin treating her like an enemy now, she is wrong.]
You had a a run in with your version of my master and I, didn't you? That is the real reason you have been so ill at ease around me. I don't know what happened in your world, but please understand I will not hold it against you here. Whatever my fate in your world, I highly doubt it was worse than the one I faced in my own.
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I killed him.
[The thought that this makes them even flits through her mind, and she feels guilty even as it occurs to her. Immediately, she slaps it down. Regardless of what Lancer's Master might have done in another world, she couldn't just decide what he deserved in her own, and especially not based on only what he had the potential to do. It wasn't as though she had been acting to protect Risei (though she still feels a little bit pleased at having inadvertently done so, which she doesn't feel guilty for).]
I'm...sorry.
[She isn't sure if she's apologizing for his fate or what she had done or her thoughts.]
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[The words come quickly and Diarmuid pauses when he realizes that as much as he might want to believe he is over Kayneth's betrayal, deep down he is still very angry about it.]
He would have struck you down just as easily as you did him, and probably with less regret. I don't know if it helps any, but in all honesty, you did me a favor.
[He looks away from her for a long moment before looking back.]
Fading because my master had been killed is a far gentler death than being forced to commit suicide in the middle of honorable battle.
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[She bites her lip, looking down and away.]
I'm sorry. For what happened to you, I mean. I don't hold what your Master did against you. I—understand that Masters don't always act in scrupulous ways, or in ways that their Servants would want.
[Does she ever.]
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[Diarmuid shakes his head.]
I was not who he wanted anyway. The relic he was originally going to use was stolen from him and I was a last minute substitute. He never got over that.
I know I don't know you that well, but for what has happened to you I am also sorry. You don't really seems like the kind of person who would be comfortable in a war and having to kill people.
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...I know there are many Servants who would disagree with me, so pardon me if I offend, but I don't think there's anyone that should feel comfortable with killing. [Though she apologizes, her tone is firm with conviction as she says this.] Having to take a life for any reason is a great burden and a tragedy, and it shouldn't be done lightly, even if its done in the service of good or God.
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You don't need to worry about offending. While I may be a knight and hero who has killed my share of people, I cannot argue with what you say. There is no joy in killing and one should never become comfortable with it. Fighting another, testing your skill against theirs, there is joy in that, but each time a person dies a family loses someone they love. A wife loses her husband or son. Death might be necessary, but it should not be enjoyed. To do so means you have lost more than the person you just killed because you are dead inside and you don't even know it.
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[That reply seems to do more to put her at ease with him than anything else he has said so far.]
Mm, but you don't need to worry about me, anyway. Carrying out God's will sometimes means accepting burdens, but He will never give one that is too much to bear. I know He will give me the strength I need to persevere.
[She manages to sound serene enough as she says this, and she even smiles. Of course, she feels less certain about her actions than what those words might imply, but—she prays and does her best to live according to God's word, so she has to have faith in herself and her own judgment now.]
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[Diarmuid laughs lightly before becoming more serious.]
I am afraid I don't know much about your god and the Grail only gives me so much information. However, if he is what gives you the hope and strength to keep moving forward that is all that is important. No matter how strong we are, everyone needs a force like that to keep them moving sometimes.
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[Maybe she's still a little ruffled by her conversation with Garviel. A little.]
...That being said, I would appreciate if you could keep most of this conversation to yourself. Maybe I'm being overly cautious, but...
[She sighs, then smiles, the expression tired.]
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Diarmuid pauses then and blushes slightly, embarrassed for having spoken like that, "Forgive me. And you needn't worry. Your secrets are safe with me."
There had been a time after Diarmuid first arrived that he had been far too open with the information he shared about himself and others as a result of both his wish for everyone to work together and his rebellion against Kayneth forcing so much secrecy on him during the war. Now, he still doesn't care to keep secrets about himself, but those of others no longer leave his lips.
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Then again, without this prompting they probably wouldn't have talked about these things so maybe this meeting had been a good thing after all. Not that Diarmuid will ever tell his brother that.
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