Asako Minegishi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sawthelockdown) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-08-02 10:43 pm
sawthelockdown) wrote in towerofanimus2013-08-02 10:43 pm
Entry tags:
you're caught in a one-way street
Characters: Asako and you, hopefully.
Setting: Various floors on the tower.
Format: I'll start with action, but will match you.
Summary: Postal work and attempting to seriously contemplate things.
Warnings: Some thought processes that could be construed as suicidal, so warning for that right now. Also, Asako logic does not equal earth logic, so warning for that too. Other warnings will be added as needed.
[Dorm Floor 2]
[Asako got the note yesterday: she's working as a postal worker, now. She'd signed up out of boredom, let the roulette choose for her, and it seemed to have been relatively merciful. Small mercies, she supposes. It's close enough.
She doesn't stick around to say hi to her roommates - she has none now - but she does wander around the floor for a bit. It's not that she's lonely. There are other rooms that have only one or two inhabitants, after all. They seem to be okay, so she can handle it too. She has to. Right? Right.]
[Floor 99]
[Because sometimes you need to just curl up in a corner of the Tower and brood over life where nobody can see you. The cathedral floor is out, but this place is just as quiet, just as solitary. It's easy enough not to be found, and also not to get lost. So, in a cavern, she curls up, looks at one of the pools, and lets her mind wander.
-- She should be over all of it by now. She should be over everything by now, but let's face it: the Tower was a shitty place to get over an issue and stay over it. It was kind of obvious when she wanted to laugh without really being amused while destroying things. It was even more obvious since she no longer knew why she'd allowed people to talk her down from erasing herself. Avenger had hit the nail on the head; she was probably a bit mad by now. But the idea of turning to anyone - Well, she'd kind of already blown all of her chances, hadn't she? She'd taken everything for granted and inconvenienced a lot of people who had better things to do than worry about a whelp like her. It was humiliating. She was supposed to be better than this -- Well, she was just Asako, after all, just a stupid human who couldn't even begin to live up to what she had to live up to.
All she could do was try to pretend that she didn't have these moments. That she'd stayed repaired, that she no longer doubted whether or not she had the right to keep living, when someone else deserved it more. ... She'd have to get going to her job soon, but for now, maybe for a few minutes more...yeah, it'd be okay to rest here until she was ready to face the day.]
[Floor 78]
[So you're a demon overlord and you're on postal worker duty. Clearly the proper reaction is to...go along with it, since it's a relatively painless and simple job. Following orders, in this case, is okay because there's really no objection to this system. It'd be like trying to go "actually no I will not eat with my mouth because a nose works fine too!"
In other words, even Asako logic can't condone something that odd. Besides, it was a relatively peaceful job, something normal and mundane - she hadn't thought she'd miss that, but she did. It was nice to just do something like this. To do something.
It was kind of nice, really.]
[Floor 75]
[And so Asako finds herself on this floor because...
...
Actually, there is no real reason. She just thought it'd be cool to hang out here. It's like someone went "sup dawg, I heard you like towers, so I put a tower in your Tower so you could be in a tower while being in a tower." To her, that is basically an awesome thing.
So of course hanging out outside the tower inside the tower is a good idea.
... Look, I never said her logic was earth logic, okay?
Setting: Various floors on the tower.
Format: I'll start with action, but will match you.
Summary: Postal work and attempting to seriously contemplate things.
Warnings: Some thought processes that could be construed as suicidal, so warning for that right now. Also, Asako logic does not equal earth logic, so warning for that too. Other warnings will be added as needed.
[Dorm Floor 2]
[Asako got the note yesterday: she's working as a postal worker, now. She'd signed up out of boredom, let the roulette choose for her, and it seemed to have been relatively merciful. Small mercies, she supposes. It's close enough.
She doesn't stick around to say hi to her roommates - she has none now - but she does wander around the floor for a bit. It's not that she's lonely. There are other rooms that have only one or two inhabitants, after all. They seem to be okay, so she can handle it too. She has to. Right? Right.]
[Floor 99]
[Because sometimes you need to just curl up in a corner of the Tower and brood over life where nobody can see you. The cathedral floor is out, but this place is just as quiet, just as solitary. It's easy enough not to be found, and also not to get lost. So, in a cavern, she curls up, looks at one of the pools, and lets her mind wander.
-- She should be over all of it by now. She should be over everything by now, but let's face it: the Tower was a shitty place to get over an issue and stay over it. It was kind of obvious when she wanted to laugh without really being amused while destroying things. It was even more obvious since she no longer knew why she'd allowed people to talk her down from erasing herself. Avenger had hit the nail on the head; she was probably a bit mad by now. But the idea of turning to anyone - Well, she'd kind of already blown all of her chances, hadn't she? She'd taken everything for granted and inconvenienced a lot of people who had better things to do than worry about a whelp like her. It was humiliating. She was supposed to be better than this -- Well, she was just Asako, after all, just a stupid human who couldn't even begin to live up to what she had to live up to.
All she could do was try to pretend that she didn't have these moments. That she'd stayed repaired, that she no longer doubted whether or not she had the right to keep living, when someone else deserved it more. ... She'd have to get going to her job soon, but for now, maybe for a few minutes more...yeah, it'd be okay to rest here until she was ready to face the day.]
[Floor 78]
[So you're a demon overlord and you're on postal worker duty. Clearly the proper reaction is to...go along with it, since it's a relatively painless and simple job. Following orders, in this case, is okay because there's really no objection to this system. It'd be like trying to go "actually no I will not eat with my mouth because a nose works fine too!"
In other words, even Asako logic can't condone something that odd. Besides, it was a relatively peaceful job, something normal and mundane - she hadn't thought she'd miss that, but she did. It was nice to just do something like this. To do something.
It was kind of nice, really.]
[Floor 75]
[And so Asako finds herself on this floor because...
...
Actually, there is no real reason. She just thought it'd be cool to hang out here. It's like someone went "sup dawg, I heard you like towers, so I put a tower in your Tower so you could be in a tower while being in a tower." To her, that is basically an awesome thing.
So of course hanging out outside the tower inside the tower is a good idea.
... Look, I never said her logic was earth logic, okay?
Floor 75
But when there are no monsters on a floor in this tower, it's a good place to stay alone in for a moment.
So after he's done with the tower, Minato exit it to find...a familiar girl outside of it. With a blink, he greets her automatically.]
Hi.
Floor 99
... Hey, are you all right?
Re: Floor 75
Hey. This is pretty neat, isn't it?
no subject
And indeed it isn't - she just shakes her head and looks back down at the ground, seeming to curl up more before saying:] I don't think so. Pathetic, huh?
no subject
no subject
[She smiles grimly after saying that.]
It's a long story, and I don't want to bore or annoy or horrify anyone. Already done enough of that.
no subject
[April glances at the pool for a moment, and then turns her eyes back to Asako.]
But still, I'll listen.
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[There's a huff.]
I'm a demon overlord, I've been seeing horrible things since I was small. Learning that the only important thing about me is someone else - being turned into one of those drones - all of it shouldn't be such a problem, but it is.
[Pause.]
It...probably didn't help that I learned that first bit during that mess with the Shadows, and the Shadow in question was trying to kill me while telling me this.
[Asako, what are your priorities even.]
no subject
Family is family. It... It doesn't matter if you 'can't stay fixed', family is there for each other.
... And, yeah, that... It's no surprise that you feel how you're feeling. That sounds horrible. It is a problem, because those are things we can't just brush aside and act like we're okay with.
no subject
[Another bitter smile as she looks at the pool again, and she...well, she's still curled in on herself.]
I don't deserve it, you know. I'm just a soldier. A pawn. A - hah - a w-wireframe. My cousin doesn't need me bringing up the past when he's already got enough t-
[Wait, shit. Naoya would probably not appreciate someone else getting dragged into this.]
...Sorry. I sound pretty dumb, huh?
no subject
... I used to think that. I-I couldn't be anything more than a tool, something to further a goal, nothing more. And I was so... I thought so little of myself that I couldn't even hate myself, and I thought I didn't deserve comfort or anything. Leader's have to be tough, even when all you wanted to do was cry...
... But it's wrong. Because you're a person first, your own person. And you do deserve it. Even if we're wireframes and you think you're just a pawn, you deserve to have comfort and I'm sure your cousin would think the same. You're not just a soldier, a pawn, or a leader, you're far more than that...
no subject
But - is it me that people are worried about? Or - I mean - I mentioned the other, right? T-the person I was...I mean I don't know where "I" start, and I don't remember them, but they're the important one, I just...budded off?
[She's not crying. She's really not crying.]
I don't know where I start anymore but I know that the other was someone so great they're missed even now and I'm doing a really bad job living up to that, they'd be able to deal and I can't...
no subject
Don't live up to them. Don't. Because you're you and it doesn't matter how great this other person was. Because right here and right now, you are your own person.
You may have come from them, but you aren't them. You're you, and people worry about you. And I can tell you that I don't care about this other person; it's you I care about.
no subject
That's...what they were saying too, wasn't it. It just - hurt so badly that I didn't listen that well...or just didn't want to...
[That's right. It was more that she'd just capitulated and gone "okay, okay, you guys are right" the first time, but...really...]
...heh. I should probably say sorry...or mail it, anyway...
no subject
It's... It's a weird thing to hear at first, but it's true. It's really true.
... And you don't have to say sorry or anything to anyone, I think. It... I think what they would want is for you to be happy, about being you; a person that has worth beyond any titles and or where she came from.
no subject
[Brief smile - not a bitter one this time.]
No, I mean apologizing for - well - for not figuring it out, or for not wanting to figure it out sooner.
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Floor 78
However, when she saw the girl in the mailroom, she couldn't help but pause as she watched the girl work, smiling all the while. That looked really cool!]
You're the mailman?! That's awesome! Are you a good mailman?
Re: Floor 75
The tower, right?
[What else, man?]
Floor 99
[Jin's actions rarely had any rhyme or reason these days-- hell, there wasn't much reason left in his mind for any rhyming anyway. He just happened upon Asako sitting around in the caverns, because-- that's here he decide to wander today, he supposed. It was close to the dorms, at least.
He didn't look particularly sympathetic though. He knew something was wrong, but he was standing beside her with his hands tucked into his pockets, a neutral expression on his face.]
no subject
[There's a pause.]
Why, is there anything else here?
[Asako no.]
no subject
[Things change, and sometimes it ends in a reversal of how things were initially. That's life.]
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I'm one of the mailmen, yeah. And I just started, so I dunno if I'm any good yet. You know?
no subject
[Surprisingly, she's okay with this guy not being sympathetic. Well, it only makes sense, right? Everyone's got problems of their own to deal with. So she's just going to look up at Jin, one eyebrow arched.]
Take it you're here for the scenery?
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[Even though she really didn't know.]
Yotsuba always gets her mail, and being a mailman is fun! You'll be fine!
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[Prime training ground.]
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[Judging by her tone, she's been on that end too.]
... Ehe, we never really introduced ourselves though, did we? My name is April.
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[She may have been fine with him being a dick, but he's apparently not in the mood to put up with anyone's sarcasm but his own.]
I don't got a reason for being here; not gonna pretend to have one when it doesn't matter anymore. Get over your existential bullshit and maybe you won't get your ass pants soaked.
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More like someone who's trying not to sound too whiny. I mean, really, people get tired of hearing it. May as well try a different way of going about things, you know?
[Half-assed shrug.]
Huh. Well, if you say so.
no subject
Well, thanks! I'll do my best, Yotsuba. Oh - I'm Asako, by the way, and it's nice to meet you!
no subject
It's nice to meet you Asako! I'm Yotsuba Koiwai! Oh..is there any mail for me today?
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But whatever. Not my job to tell ya what to do.
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Ah, my bad, my bad. What I meant was, I'm being a smartass because I know people get sick of hearing me go [high-pitched whiney voice] "Oh nooo, my life suuucks!" [Back to normal.] Better to be a smartass about it, you know?
no subject
Fair enough. Just don't get your head stuck in your ass about it. It's a delicate balance.