He was never good at following orders.

[unexculpable]

Characters: unexculpable, snacklist, spiritsup, princesslantern, bowtiedup, & groovy_mutation
Setting: Here and there. Doesn't really matter. Eventually will end up in Ed's dorm Room 2-06
Format: Prefer brackets, but I'll be more than happy to prose it up if you'd like!
Summary: Ed's going a little crazy while fighting Group A's order to kill. He goes after Milagro, is stopped by the Doctor, and then attempts to kill the Doctor for interfering. Later he goes after Romeo and is stopped by Alphonse and dragged back to his room kicking and screaming and hating everything. Charles shows up later to help calm Ed down.
Warnings: violence, language, descriptions of surgery victims, near character deaths, unstable mental states, angst, horrible memories of Ed's past. I'll add more if anything else pops up.

Comments

[unexculpable]

[Ed's stomach is churning, his heart is racing, and his entire body is shaking. Every so often he twitches violently, struggling against Al's grip. Romeo was getting away. He was leaving and it was wrong and he felt sick and he had to kill him. But he can't. He can't let that happen.

Finally the boy scrambles around the corner and Ed's breath catches in his chest and he wants to chase after him and he doesn't know why and it hurts to think of what he almost did and it hurts just as much knowing he failed to do. Tears stream down his cheeks and suddenly all he can think about is Nina. Nina with his hands around her throat.Nina with her face twisted in horror, morphing and twisting into the tortured form her psychotic father stuck her in, asking him why it hurt, why he was doing this.

He looks up at Al, panic and terror in his eyes . His voice shakes and cracks, heavy and guilt laden.]

A-Al. I... Please, I... Please don't let me... I can't...

[snacklist.livejournal.com]

[he's... crying. Ed's crying and something is wrong, really, really wrong... wrong in a way that has nothing to do with Romeo or Ed's intentions and everything to do with something unseen working against them. something is wrong with Ed.

Alphonse strains his ears to make sure the boy was gone-- he prayed he was alright, but right now he had to make sure he kept his brother calm lest he try to go after him again. the hands at his shoulders grip tighter... but not in demand, but reassurance.]

I won't let you hurt anyone, Brother.

[it's firm, decisive. don't worry; that is the last thing he would ever do... especially when it was innocents that his sibling was going after, and apparently against his will -- even if that will seemed confused.]

What's happening to you...? [had someone done this to him? others had been acting strangely, too... was this the work of those that ran the Tower?]

[unexculpable]

It's this place, it's... I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

[Ed's still shaking, still crying, still completely horrified about all of this, and still, despite everything, still had the terrifying urge to kill.]

I don't... I don't want to do this, Al, but I can't... I can't stop it I just --

[He just wants to go back and strangle the life out of that boy. Wanted to crush his windpipe, or snap his neck, or slit his throat, or stab him through the heart. The boy that reminded him of Nina.]

I have to kill him. I have to kill the others like him. I have to and it makes me sick, but I can't do that I CAN'T, but it's what I'm supposed to do and I don't know how to make this stop. Please, Al. Please don't let me do this. I don't want to do this!

[snacklist.livejournal.com]

Ed! Stop! [it's sharp-- more a demand than a request to snap his brother out of his harried frenzy, before the next is a little more gentle.] ...Stop. You don't have to tell me...

[he knows, brother. he would never let you hurt him... and he has no hesitation taking action now that he knows this isn't what Ed wants, either. he's not doing this out of an effort to protect something or try and stop something terrible -- he doesn't want to be doing this at all. he's being forced against his will.

so Al reaffirms his grip on Ed's shoulders, looking intently into his eyes.]

I won't let them use you like that. I would never let anyone use you like that!

We'll go somewhere safe and figure out how to undo this. Okay?

[it's... going to be okay. it's going to be okay!]

[unexculpable]

[Ed nods, swallowing the lump in his throat.]

R-right.

[snacklist.livejournal.com]

[don't look so dejected, brother... ;; it breaks his heart, and he's tempted to pull him into a hug, just-- wanting to comfort him somehow.

but first thing's first.

he is starting to guide his brother for the door -- in the opposite direction of the boy, toward the stairs.]

Let's go. Squeeze my hand if you need to.

I can squeeze right back, Ed. See? [just... keep talking, distract him...]

[unexculpable]

[Ed's hands are still shaking when as Al guides him down the hall. He's only half listening as they walk. His mind is racing, his stomach is tying itself into knots and he keeps thinking about Nina. That look on that bastard's face, that sick fucking grin, when he told them that his experiment was a success. That laugh and the crazed look in his eyes. The voice of one terrified, tortured little girl, used by her own father to save his own ass.

He doesn't look up, only stares at the floor. His voice is weak, cracking and shaking.]

He... that kid...

He reminds me of Nina.

[snacklist.livejournal.com]

[Al is squeezing that hand tighter as something conflicted, and... sad crosses his features, but he's trying to keep from letting too much show. he doesn't want to make it worse on Ed. it comes out quietly:]

...Me, too.