What to do when you lost your purpose

[culbutiri]

Characters: Nesir, Eva Beatrice, Ivan, Jade and everyone else who wants to meet a sightly crazy angry Nesir
Setting: Starts in the mailroom, floor five, floor fifty nine
Format: Either
Summary: Nesir recieves a gift and then fails at anger management, big time. 13th, 14th and 15th August
Warnings: *deep breath* Blood, gore, murder, torture, death, body parts in jars, shadows, madness, risk of injury, lots of words

[13th: Mailroom: Open] She almost didn't go to her mailbox, she could see others, in various stages of grief and anger and didn't want to know if whoever had decided to torture them had included her in their game.

Curious cats might get made into soup but it does not stop the curious nature of cats. She opened her mailbox and took out the jar.

She would not break down, not here and so she found some dark disused corner and stared at the hearts, she didn't know why or how she knew they were Ral's and Lotte's. All hearts looked the same, and it wasn't like she hadn't seen a human heart before.

But these were Ral, the awkward, infuriatingly kind boy who had befriended her when no one else would, who had taken on bullies for her. Who had gotten through all her defenses she had put up around her and proven that even if she hated the whole world she couldn't make the whole world hate her back.

And Lotte. Lotte who Nesir was sworn to. Her priestess even if they were both still training. Who Nesir would die for, a thousand times instead of letting anything happen to her.

Warriors aren't supposed to outlive their priestess Nesir jumped, she hadn't even noticed the shadow following her. And she hadn't expected it to speak with the old master of the training yards voice.

Warrior acolytes are definitely not supposed to outlive every priest and priestess in existence. His voice was cutting.

[13th: Floor five: Eva Beatrice] It had taken some searching, especially since Nesir didn't know what she was searching for. She was angry though, and wanted to fight. Not monsters, monsters didn't feel. Monsters didn't get angry, or sad. She didn't just want to fight she needed to hurt something.

Emotions were useless, emotions dragged you down but the emptiness held no comfort. Did she deserve comfort?

She spotted the woman at the viewfinder, she knew her, even if she had spoken to her only once she knew her kind. Nesir grinned, "Oh cake witch?" Her voice was mocking, "Do you be wanting a challenge, you do be looking bored."

[14th: Floor fifty nine: Ivan] Dying had not made her any calmer. Her eyes glinted as she lay in wait near the staircase of the torture chamber. She still held to her decision of a month or so ago, she had no body, no name, her friends and world were dead. All she had was her soul and that was not truly hers, it belonged to the god of darkness.

And so it was chaos she served, she watched as people moved up and down the staircase, until she spotted one who she figured she could take. She just had to hope they had no powers.

Maybe she should have chosen a powerless floor. But regardless she jumped up and attempted to grab the man and pull him into the room. Shadows swarmed around her.

[14th: Floor six: Open] A knife flew through the trees, aimed at a dear. Nesir let out a hollow laugh as the monster creature began to charge towards her. Killing had put her in a better mood, though not enough to be able to ignore the shadows that sat up the trees with her.

What kind of protector are you? It's your fault I'm dead, is killing creatures all you're good for? Why did you get to live, you don't deserve to live.

She threw another knife.

What is the use of saving a weapon, whilst letting those that can wield it die

To add insult to injury the glamour glitched showing her for what she was, wire and yellow liquid, she chuckled darkly.

[14th: Room 2-01: Jade] Nesir was covered in blood by the time she returned to her room, most of it was Ivan's. Her side of the room was still a mess from when she had left after the sleep paralysis had worn off that morning. She picked up the jar of hearts from among the covers and put it on the nightstand. Pride of place.

They probably expected her to get rid of it, expected her to hide from the pain. But no, let chaos rule, do what they don't expect. She flopped on her bed, not caring about the blood.

[15th: Beach level: Open] She had managed to sleep, which she was surprised about. But she had woken early, and made her way out, wandering the tower before anyone else woke up.

She ended up on the beach floor, she liked it here. Even if it was fake, but for a fake place for fake people it was a lot nicer than a lot of the floors.

The shadows had followed her of course, still taunting her, Lotte's voice, Kant's voice, Ral's voice. She sat by the water line, kicking off her shoes and letting the water splash over her feet. She hugged her knees, and tried to pretend she was alone.

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Far be it from Jade to fault anyone for making light of a dark situation, but that didn't mean she couldn't find it weird.

"So this is what it's about? You're flipping your shit ebcause you think you fucked up big time?"

[culbutiri]

"Something like that." She grinned from where she hung upside down off her bed. "And because there do no be anything else to do, we're all doomed anyways."

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Talking about things being 'doomed' was really not something Jade likes to do. The whole conversation just made her scowl more.

"'We're all doomed anyway'? You're the one that fucking said we had to keep trucking on anyway even if we were stuck in a shithole. How 'bout you practice what you preach?"

[culbutiri]

"When do you ever be actually listening to me?" Nesir seemed very fascinated with the small blood stain on the floor, caused by her hair.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

"Times when the clock strikes right about now." Yeah OK maybe this wasn't the time for the humor card, but she had to play with what she had.

"Just 'cause I make a jackass out of myself doesn't mean you should. There's still shit for us to do, there's always gonna be shit for us to do, and that means we can't just break down and smash our heads over our best friends in a jar."

[culbutiri]

Nesir blinked at her, angrily because Jade was right damn her. But Nesir, Nesir thought she was going mad. Her chest felt too tight, there was a pressure in her head and heat behind her eyes.

"What can I be saying, you do be being a rubbish role model."

[reddeadvirtuoso]

"Any fourthgrader with internet access could'a told you that," She said without skipped a beat, though her tone and expression did fall into a deadpan.

"Come on dude, you have to at least keep trying...!"

[culbutiri]

"I do be knowing that." Her throat felt tight as well. "But I do no be knowing what to be doing."

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Jade finally stepped out of the doorway, walking over to the nightstand and placing one hand on top of each jar of organs-- cautiously so, trying not to seem like she was going to destroy them or anything in case Nesir was... protective of them.

"You can start by letting go of the spooks crap-- none'a this is real, right? It's all really that computer graphic wireframe shit, right?"

[culbutiri]

Her eyes glinted, yes she knew they were just wireframe and illusion but they felt real. She could tell my looking at them that it was them. She reached out to grab them off Jade.

"It do no be mattering be giving them to me."

[reddeadvirtuoso]

Jade retracted her grip without any question, allowing Nesir to snatch them back without a challenge.

"Nah, that's cool, it's fine, like whatever-- I just mean, it's theirs, but it's not really theirs, right? It's all fake. So... don't let it get to ya?"

She's losing track of where she was going with this.

[culbutiri]

She held them to herself tightly. "It might be being fake but it do be being all I do be having." A way to remember them.

She flopped on the bed again, squeezing her eyes shut because they were hurting.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

"No-- I get it. I totally do."

She leaned back on her heels, rubbing one arm with her hand and looking down to the side. "I lost folks back home-- multiple times. I lost folks here, too. Didn't even get any souvenirs from them, though.

Good to have a thing to remind you of them, is what I'm saying. Just... don't let it drive you batty, I guess."

I now have the perfect icon for this thread

[culbutiri]

"I could be talking to the administrators, be getting you there toes or something." Well you turned her snark back on Jade, so it's an improvement, sort of. "You could be wearing them as a necklace."

Her head was still pounding, and she felt bad for snapping since Jade was just trying to help. Then the ridiculousness of her feeling bad for snapping at Jade when she had just tortured and killed someone not an hour past hit her and she laughed, a bitter sound.

She slowly reached out to put the jar back on the nightstand. "What did they be giving you?" She knew most people had gotten something, and talking about something else would hopefully make this headache, this feeling that her eyes were about to explode, go away.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED BUT IT WASN'T THAT

[reddeadvirtuoso]

The return of the snark was a surprise for a moment-- and Jade stares dumbly, processing the words before lowering her face just slightly to snicker at the remark. "I'll be the most fashion-forward bitch in this whole place."

Though she's certain it'd just be covered by her scarf anyway.

The mention of her own gift.... Eugh. For a moment, she just stares into space, before making her way to her own trunk, and taking out a-- rather ugly plush toy, actually. It was made of orange felt, cartoonish limbs and a prominent rear end, but was also decorated in a white collar shirt, black pants, and shoes, with a toy katana attached to one hand. The head, however, had been completely removed, with the stuffing coming out at the open hole.

She just looked at it with a very subtle grimace, and held it up for Nesir to see. "Jus' some... dumb toy, you know."

Which totally didn't bother her.

[culbutiri]

Nesir turned to watch Jade and frowned at the toy. She might know nothing about toys, but it seemed really strange. And Jade was obviously upset about it, she wondered what significance it held.

"Do they be usually coming without heads?"

[reddeadvirtuoso]

"Uh, not usually." She admits a bit awkwardly, lowering the toy and holding it in her two hands in front of her, staring at the toy itself instead of looking at Nesir.

"It's, a joke... I guess. He... It's a toy my Bro marketed back home-- he got decapitated before I came here."

[culbutiri]

"Oh." She nodded, and then remembered that she was supposed to feel sympathetic, or sorry for Jade or something. But that was stupid. It wasn't like she knew Jade's brother.

"They do be being good at knowing what will be breaking us. I do be saying using mind reading to be improving on torture do be cheating."

[reddeadvirtuoso]

She didn't entirely care that there was little to no sympathy, because really, it meant she wouldn't have to think about it anymore, and stop thinking about it she indeed forced herself to do as she tossed the toy to the floor next to her bed.

"I think that's kind of their shtick-- and I don't think they really care if they're cheating? I think they just like being giant fuckholes the entire time. I don't know why, but that's about as depthful as their master plans seem to get."

[culbutiri]

"I have been meeting snails with better master plans." She agreed, leaning back on the bed again. "But at least you can be crushing snails easily."

[reddeadvirtuoso]

She can't resist a snicker at that. "I dunno, snails can probably be pretty diabolical if they tried," She says with a smirk.

"But you've got a point, I'm pretty sure no doomsday machinations can stand up to a boot when you're a snail. Then again I'm not sure if the honchos in charge are really trying that hard."

[culbutiri]

"Which do be making it worse." Nesir sighed. "I would no be minding so much if I did be fighting a clever and cunning enemy. But they do be being stupid and still do be winning."