towerofanimus | 02. stay with me until i fall asleep

Entry tags:

02. stay with me until i fall asleep

Characters: Quark and you!
Setting: Backdated to Sunday the 11th - Friday the 16th, Dorm Floor 4 (and Dorm Room 4-14), Floor 19 (Research Library), Floor 88 (Bar), Floor 80 (Circus), and Floor 100.
Format: either is fine!
Summary: Quark deals with his shadow. Or...tries to deal with his shadow and fails pretty miserably.
Warnings: character death in the last prompt, otherwise mostly just the standard angst.

Backdated to Sunday, August 11th - Dorm 4-14; Dorm Floor 4

[Quark can't help but let out a startled little yelp when he wakes up to find a strange, shadowy creature looming over him. It's smiling, white teeth gleaming ominously. His heart beats wildly as he scurries upward and away from it, backing up into the corner where the bed meets the wall.]

W-What are you?!

[It doesn't answer, of course. It doesn't even move. Just looms there in silence and smiles. Quark gulps, and eventually figures he has to move. He needed to use the bathroom sometime, after all. Cautiously, he edges along the wall until he's at a position where he can hop down and change. It doesn't seem particularly dangerous, so that's good at least. Maybe it was a friendly monster.

Once the boy's changed, he's quick to dart out into the hallway, feeling uncomfortable and tense when he realizes he's being followed. If he passes by someone on the bathroom, regardless of who it is, he'll flag them down, clearly uneasy.]

Hey! D...do you know what's up with these weird shadow things? [He points an accusing finger toward his own tag-along.] I woke up and it was just kind of there, staring at me! Is it a monster?

Tuesday, August 12th - Floor 19; The Research Library

[Quark had come to this floor because it had a lot of big, official looking books. After he had met Jade Strider and they had talked a bunch about science things, he figured he should start brushing up on his vocabulary. That way, next time they talked about science things, he could be all impressive knowing things! He smiles to himself as he reaches up on his tiptoes for a book on physics, then tucks it under his arm. He wants to get a couple different ones in case one is too hard.

He was gonna be all cool, like her. And if he was cool like her, maybe they'd be bigger and better friends! At least, that was the idea. When the shadow talks, all his ideas of becoming a scientific genius are completely erased from his mind.

You seem pleased with yourself, Quark.

And Quark's smile falls immediately, because he recognizes that voice.]

G-Grandpa?!

[He drops the book he was holding in his haste to turn around and see the old man--Quark knew he was alive! He just knew it!--his face only twisting in confusion when his Grandpa was nowhere to be seen. Just...just that creepy, smiling shadow. Quark hugs himself.]

...Grandpa?

[That's right, Quark. This is all that's left of me, now. It must be nice to be young and alive and without a care. The shadow keeps smiling, but his Grandpa's voice let's out a familiar grunt of disapproval. To think that I raised someone so selfish and narrow-minded. I'm disappointed in you.]

G-Grandpa...No...n-no...what are you saying?

[This...this couldn't really be his Grandpa, could it? This shadow thing? And he said he was dead...]

Wednesday, August 13th - Floor 88; The Bar

Look, Grandpa.

[Knowing that the shadow is following him diligently, Quark steps frantically upward until he's made it into the Bar floor. His eyes look tired, and he's huffing from the exertion more than he normally would, given how much energy he generally has.]

It's kind of like home, huh? They have your favorite scotch here, so you can drink that and be happy again!

[There's a panicked edge to his voice that isn't hard to notice and the edges of his smile are a bit too wide. It's placating and desperate.

Don't you get it, Quark? I can't drink anymore! I'm dead along with the rest of the planet! There's a heavy, angry pause. I thought I raised you better than this. I was so old and so tired and you just made my last days a headache. I could have been living it up, you know, instead of wasting what little time and money I had on you. What a mistake.]

You don't mean that...[Quark tugs at the straps of his hat, his shoulders hunched in his shame.] Y-You always told me that you had no regrets finding me and taking me in!

Thursday, August 14th - Floor 80; The Circus

[The boy needed a distraction. Quark was seated up near the exit to the stairs, shivering where he was curled up with his head against his knees. He wasn't anywhere close to where the acts were playing out, down in the center of the floor, but it was something to listen to and something to look at, even if he wasn't on an assignment as a performer. Even if he would've been too weak to really perform, anyway. He just feels so tired and so sick and he can't even protest anymore after three days of angry, disappointed berating.

His big, golden-brown eyes just glaze over with tears. It's becoming automatic to brush them away on the back of his sleeve before they have a chance to fall.

Ten years I wasted looking after you like my own son. I could've left you to die when I found you and I would've been better off. I would've been so much better off. All you ever caused me was trouble, and I put up with it--helluvalota good that did me in the end.]

I'm sorry. [Quark sniffles as he mumbles the apology into his hands.] Please stop, Grandpa. I'm sorry.

[Sorry isn't going to cut it, kid! Quark winces. Not when your running off to god-knows-where got the rest of us all killed!]

I didn't know. Please believe me, Grandpa.

[Tch. Don't call me your Grandpa. I wish I had died that time I got sick because of you. No, I take that back. I wish you had been dead when I found you. Then you never would've been my problem or our world's problem to begin with. None of this would've ever happened.

Quark's collar is much lighter in color than it should be.]

Friday, August 15th - Floor 100 (Closed to ~~the first replier!~~ queensgeneral)

[By the time Friday rolls around, Quark can't seem to summon enough energy to explore anymore. He tries briefly in the morning to find a good place to drown out his Shadow's taunts and brutal lecturing...but in the end gives up completely. Slow, grueling step after step he makes his way up the rest of the stairs--he hadn't gone far to begin with, but now the climb back up feels endless.]

I just want...to sleep...

[But he can't make it that far. His legs are shaking and he's so weak. With a groan, Quark takes a sharp, halfway-accidental turn into the nearest floor and only makes it a few steps in before crashing onto his side. He's vaguely aware of the fact that he's in a place familiar--that this floor looks like his home--but he's really too tired to appreciate it. And Grandpa didn't want him to come home anymore.

Home wasn't home without Grandpa.

For whoever stumbles across the boy, it's easy to tell by the barely-there tint of orange to Quark's collar that he's hanging on by a thread (if the way he lies unmoving on the floor breathing shallowly wasn't clue enough). Likely, he's only lasted so long into the week because of the friends he's made in the Tower.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Darres was not ignorant to what was doing on here, especially at this point. It had taken so long to pull Ishtar out of it, and even then Darres wasn't still entirely sure she was okay. Still, she was not the only person he had to worry about. There was yet another he was growing close to. The knight wanted to make sure Quark was okay.

Darres did not go unbothered by the shadows, he had at least two, but they hadn't taken a toll on him quite like it had with others.

Eventually with enough searching, Darres had found Quark. Darres always found who he was looking for. However, when he found him, nothing but fear and grief struck him. The tall knight rushed to the young boy and picked him up from the ground in a cradle.]

QUARK!

Quark, hey!

[His collar was...so dim...it was as if he had no fluids left.]

Listen to me, Quark. It's just a shadow. It's not who you think it really is. You need to pull through!

...hi, Mr. Darres...

[The greeting comes out in a bit of a murmur, his head lulling back limply as he's lifted into strong arms. Once upon a time, he might've pretended they belonged to his Grandpa.

He knew better, now. His Grandpa was dead. His Grandpa hated him.]

...not feeling too good right now, s-sorry...

[He gives a sad, sleepy sort of smile, though his eyes stare more through Darres than at him. And he's so tiny.]

It's my Grandpa. [His head rolls against Darres' arm to look over at the Shadow.] That's just how he looks, now.

[Taking your damn time, aren't you?]

You should say hi to Mr. Darres, Grandpa. He's really nice...you'll like him [Like how Quark thought his Grandpa liked him.] I know you will...

Edited 2013-08-14 08:12 (UTC)

[It was much worse than he anticipated. Darres grunted with disgust. Why couldn't he be more helpful for here. If had just been able to coach Quark through this, maybe he could have avoided this life threatening state.]

Quark...

It's not your grandpa. It's not who you think it is.

[It tugged at the strings to his heart. He has usually kept his feelings so well reserved, but this was a lot. Even for the knight.]

Quark, please listen to me. You need to snap out of it.

It is, though. [Quark's voice becomes even more sad and quiet.] He just really hates me, now, because it's my fault that he's dead.

[Although his expression doesn't change, silent tears roll forlornly down his pale cheeks from the corners of his eyes.]

Am I dying now, too? [Quark didn't want to die, even if he deserved it. He was scared. He was so sad and so scared. He had heard that people who die in the Tower always just come back again, but he had never died before ever and Quark didn't want to start now.

He didn't even know if it would make his Grandpa happier.]

[He gritted his teeth. How could this be happening? Was he too late? It did take some time to sooth Ishtar. Darres was worried he was too late!]

It's...not your fault. You had no control over that. Quark, you're just a child. [Please act like one.

Darres really didn't want to answer his question, but he likely was unless he could snap Quark out of it.]

Quark, it's not your grandpa. Please understand.

I-I'm really scared, Mr. Darres...I don't want to die.

[He can't stop crying and it's so hard to see behind his tears. Though he can barely manage to lift his arms up to wipe them away--through the effort, his shaking hands just end up falling heavily on top of his face.

And his Grandpa's voice is so loud in his ears, talking about his regrets. How much better his life would've been if Quark had only died sooner. It hurts so much. It hurts more than Quark bet it would've hurt to have been stuck in the Nonary Game when those bombs went off.]

I really d-don't want to die.

Q-Quark! Just snap out of it!

[Everything will be okay if you just snap out of it! Darres wanted to save him so desperately, that it hurt when his attempts were failing. How could something go so right and then turn around and go so wrong. And he called himself a knight, a person meant to protect and he couldn't even save the child he was holding now.]

You can do it if you just try!

[Quark shakes his head weakly and curls in toward Darres' chest. He's so cold.]

I can't do anything. I-I...

[That's right, Quark. You're just an orphan. Worth less than dirt. You're not special. You were just slowing me down your entire life. And being so goddamn small...wasted my time picking up your slack.]

...I'm useless, it's true...I don't deserve to be alive...

[Normal didn't express physical affection, but it was clear Quark needed to be comforted. The knight held him close in a snug, yet gentle grip.]

Don't say that, you deserve to live as much as the rest of us. I want you to live.

W-Why?

[Quark's breathing mixes in with the force of his tears, so he sounds more like he's gulping down air than anything. His whole body begins to tremble involuntarily.]

I'm just a dime a d-dozen. I s...I s-sh...

[He can't seem to finish his thoughts. It's getting harder to form words now. Getting harder to focus. He was so tired...so very tired.]

Quark!! QUARK! Stay awake! [He needed energy right? Darres stood up so he could rush the kid to his bed, that's where he should be restored right? It wasn't really a bed, just a capsule filled with fluids.]

You're special, and you're strong enough to fight this. Quark...

[Luckily they weren't far, it wouldn't take too long to reach the dorms.]

[Quark lets out a weak groan as he's lifted, but otherwise falls into silence save for the raspy pants his breathing has become. Although Darres is rushing, each footfall feels so slow to Quark. Slow like the beating of his heart.

Quark's hand reaches the small distance to clutch weakly at the material at Darres' chest before his grip slackens and falls limply back down. When Darres stops, whether or not he's reached Quark's dorm, he'll find the small boy has gone still in his arms.

His eyes are still open, though he isn't breathing. A few stray tears still fall down his cheeks.]

[Darres did make it to dorm, and he placed Quark in his bed ever so gently. It didn't occur to him that Quark had passed...until now. Why did the tower do cruel things like this. All Darres cared to do was protect the people close to him, but the idea became more of a wish than reality. He just wasn't as strong here and he needed to find a way to accept that.

The tall knight beside Quark's bed, at least doing him the honor of closing his eyes and covering with him for a blanket.

After that he remained by the bed, on one knee in silence. Maybe he was thinking about what he could have done different, or what he could have done better. Maybe he was thinking about what he did wrong.

It did occur to him what drove Quark to think like that. Whatever his shadow grandfather was saying. Accepting that Quark passed and Darres couldn't save him...was a hard thing for him to accept.

"Death is bitter, isn't it, Darres? If you're not careful, the princess will die too."]

Edited 2013-08-15 08:56 (UTC)

I don't, but they're following me too and they're creepy. And that's saying something since most things round here are creepy. [Sam had one following him to, the same size as him more or less, hobbit sized.] It hasn't made any move to attack me yet though.

Yeah... [Quark's face scrunches up uncomfortably as he looks at the shadow following the person who answered him.] Mine hasn't either.

[He tilts his head to the side as he considers their two shadows.] You know, they both look alike, but they're two completely different sizes and they kind of stand differently, too...kinda weird, isn't it, Mister?

Well if I didn't know better I'd say mine was a hobbit, but I haven't ever heard of shadow monsters that are also hobbits.

[He gave a small smile]

A hobbit...?

[Quark looks confused. Can you blame him? The world he's from didn't have anything spectacularly inhuman. Some humans had special abilities, yes, but nobody was really anything other than just that: human.]

I've never heard of a hobbit before.

Not many folk have I've found. [He smiles] But I'm a hobbit so now you've been meeting one.

Neat! [Quark beams merrily, and although he keeps glancing awkwardly at the tall shadow behind him, he at least looks less apprehensive.] I'm Quark! I'm just a boring human.

Well I wouldn't know about boring, doesn't seem much boring about being a human to me.

Really? [Quark looks down at himself, as if he's trying to figure out what about himself is anything other than incredibly average. Besides his hat; but he knows it's weird by most standards--he just thinks it's cool.] I dunno! I've been a human since I was born, though, so maybe I just can't tell!

['course, he also had plenty of time to go to find out otherwise. He could hope.]

Well I've been a hobbit since I were born too. But big folk like you are interesting I'd say, not that you are that big yet.

[He guesses that Quark is a child, but you can never be too sure.]

[Quark practically beams when he's called big.]

I hope I get big when I grow up!

[He laughs cheerfully.]

I've always been kind of small--my Grandpa said when he found me I was the smallest thing ever! That's why he named me Quark--'cause a Quark is a really, really tiny particle.

[He had kinda hoped that, being in double-digits now, he'd be bigger, but he hadn't really felt much of a change in his height since his last birthday.]

Well I've never heard of a Quark that's for sure. But I'd say you'll grow big, I've never seen a man almost the size of a hobbit before.

So does that mean you're not gonna get any bigger?

[Quark didn't want to be rude or anything, but not knowing anything about hobbits, he couldn't really be sure without asking. And one can't blame a kid for being curious.]

How old are you, Mr. Hobbit? I'm ten!

['Cause he didn't look like a kid, even though he was awful short. Well...it was kind of more all-around tiny than short, specifically.]

No! I'm as big as I'm going to get. [He doesn't blame him at all, Sam finds men and elves fascinating and cannot blame the same curiosity in a human child.]

I'm forty, ten is very small even for a human I would say.

Forty? Wow! I never would'a guessed!

[Besides being short, he looked totally super young. Not as young as himself, of course. Quark laughs, bashful.]

But, yeah, I gotta lotta years left in me, I think! [If everything went well, that was. He'd grow up to be big and strong and smart and nobody would ever bully him or be mean to him again! It would be awesome!]

Yeah, a whole lot, humans don't live as long as hobbits but they still live a very long time. [If Ruana had her way Quark wouldn't like to eleven, it was another reason to stop her. Children deserved to grow up until they were old, and it was bad enough that he had been brought to a place such as this.] I bet you get very tall when you grow up, you'll tower over me you will.

[ Urotsuki is actually sitting at the bar. She has no shadows following her since her bonds in the tower are much stronger than the ones she already gave up on back home for the most part, but she does seem a little sluggish even so, her eyes heavier than the usual blankness. She looks up when she hears a familiar voice though, blinking slowly at Quark. .. Ah. She remembers him, doesn't she..? ]

.. What's wrong..?

[The sound of another familiar, far less painful, voice causes him to tear his wide, hurt eyes away from the shadow of his Grandpa.]

O-Oh, Urotsuki...

[Of course he remembers her; he said he wanted to be her friend, and even if they hadn't really seen much of each other, he wasn't about to forget someone who had been so nice to him. His shoulders hunched, he scoots toward her. The shadow follows--though it stays farther away now, as if wary.]

...it's...i-it's my Grandpa...he's really mad at me.

Mad..? [ She doesn't even question whether his grandpa is really here or not, really. Urotsuki just goes along with everything, she's gullible for a fault, so when he says his family is mad at him her expression drops a little. She knows what it's like to just want them to like you.. ]

Why would he be mad at you? Did you do something wrong..?

I don't know! I don't think I did...

[He looks like he's thinking about it super hard, because he doesn't want to overlook any possibility, no matter how small. Maybe if he figured out exactly when and how he had messed up, he could fix his mistake and everything would get better! Or at least he could make a better apology.]

He said it's my fault that he died, because I got saved from the planet being destroyed while he didn't, b-but...I didn't have any control over that!

[Not that he was aware of, anyway. This was so unfair!]

Grandpa's never been this upset before...not at me, anyway...

That's strange.. of course it's not your fault. You couldn't do anything about it..

[ Although she's blamed people for stuff they couldn't help either, but Urotsuki is never self-aware enough to realise her own hypocrisy. She likes Quark enough, so of course she's going to say it's not his fault either way, even when it obviously would have been. ]

.. Maybe he's in a bad mood..? Family can say cruel things when they're not feeling well. Or some even start to hit you just since they had a bad day.. they talk about it on TV sometimes.

They...can? [Quark winces. He doesn't like the sound of that. He didn't watch too much TV, either.] Grandpa never hit me before...families shouldn't do that!

[Hmph. Maybe I should've been more thorough with my discipline. Maybe then you'd know to be grateful.]

Families are supposed to always be there to love and support each other...because they're families.

[But you weren't there for me, Quark. You repaid years of kindness by running off and leaving me to die. If you really feel that way, you'd know that unconditional love shouldn't be a one-way street.]

... Yeah. I think so too..

[ It hits a little close to home. Sure, Urotsuki might not be close to her own world anymore after being in this place, but she does remember all the days she spent just hoping she could be together with her family, do things with them, just.. not be alone.

.. She hesitates for a moment, but then she hops off the bar stool to stand in front of him, grabbing his hands and holding them in her own. ]

It's okay though. If your family doesn't like you.. then I'll be your family instead. That works, right..?

[Quark looks thoroughly surprised, but not necessarily in a bad sort of way. He blinks, at a loss for words for a long moment. Behind him, the shadow backs away warily. The offer seems to have helped, if only a little and if only momentarily.]

Y-you mean...you'd actually want that?

[It was a strange, though not unwelcome, concept. Nobody had ever expressed any real, blatant interest in such a thing to him before. Nobody except his Grandpa.]

I wouldn't be...[He thinks back to the words of the blonde man who had approached him about a week prior]...a-a burden?

Huh...? [ She lazily blinks. Sure, she knows families are not always good, and that even when you want love from them they don't always give it to you.. but then again, even if she's felt neglected before, Urotsuki herself has never felt like she's a burden exactly. It's why she doesn't get what he's saying at first, but then she shakes her head. ]

Of course you're not a burden.. if someone asks someone that, they wouldn't ask someone they think is a burden, right..? I'm asking you because.. um.. I guess it sounds nice.. I haven't seen my own family in a long time.

Thank you, Urotsuki...

[Quark smiles, and although it's a weak little thing, it's the most genuinely happy he's looked since he entered the bar. Of course, the happy look doesn't stay for very long, especially when she talks about her own feelings concerning family.

Before he can stop himself, he's reaching out to take one of her hands and to squeeze it lightly, encouragingly.]

Everybody should have a family. Especially you, because you're really nice. I'll be yours, too. That way neither of us have to be lonely or sad anymore.

Then.. there's no problem anymore, huh..? You have a family here, and I do too, so.. neither of us will have to be lonely.

[ Isn't that her biggest fear? Especially every single time Kidou left, she felt so lonely, like there was nobody at all for her anymore. But if Quark is her family, then she can rely on that instead. He's not like her parents, he's right here and he won't leave..

Her hold is maybe a little tight as she grabs his hand too in return, but it's warm. And she can't help but smile. ]

[Tohko, being a librarian, wasn't going to ignore her job, even if Ivan, her retrieval unit, was bugging her as usual, and even though the four shadows that followed her harassed her sometimes. However, she tried to not let it get to her and just wore a warm mask of a smile.

However, when she saw and heard Quark speaking to his shadow-his Grandfather from what she heard-Tohko rushed up to him and tried to pat him on the head, speaking.]

Quark, calm down. What's your grandpa saying to you? Can you tell me?

[As she spoke to Quark, the spirits of Konoha and Chia spoke up to her.]

"Are you trying to help someone else like you helped me? I wonder what you're expecting out of it this time around?" "Do you think you'll actually be able to help him? After all, you couldn't help me. I'm still the same, Toh-ko."

O-Oh, Miss Tohko.

[Quark's face colors, and he shakily bends down to pick up the book he hadn't meant to drop. A lump forms in his throat as he cradles it close to his chest.]

Sorry, I-I shouldn't be so loud in a library, huh? I didn't mean...

[His shadow gives a disgruntled sigh. It's full of loathing. A tremor seems to go down Quark's body as he looks up at the librarian from under his oversized hat.]

He says he's dead but--but that can't be true, can it?

[Tch. I didn't raise you to be a daydreamer. Face reality like a man, Quark. The boy's voice lowers to a whisper.]

He's really mad.

Edited (TITLES) 2013-08-20 20:55 (UTC)

[At that, Tohko sighed and tried to pat Quark on the head again, but she still kept smiling. Even if it was a mask of one.]

I know he's mad. The ghosts following me are pretty annoyed right now too..but I'm sure we can save them. After all, they're spirits. All we have to do is find some artificial bodies for them and put them into them, just like us. And you don't have to worry about being too noisy. Almost no one here obeys that rule.

[After all, Alexander hadn't when he had come in here ages ago, asking her if she ruled over the books. The memory brought a genuine smile back to Tohko's face.]

You really think we could do that? And it'll work okay?

[Her hand is so reassuring and nice as it falls gently against the top of his hat. It's so unlike the harsh, cruel words his Grandpa has to offer. It's nice, but it hurts, because his Grandpa had never ever been so mean to him before. Quark never thought he would've preferred the kindness of someone else over that of his only family.]

[Come on. Are you going to take the word of a near-stranger over mine? Some sense of loyalty you have.]

They'll be happy again when they have bodies, right? And then we can be happy, too, because we'll all have each other.

[At that response, the ghost of Chia Takeda spoke up, giggling.] Happy? Of course we'll be, right, Tohko? All we have to do is wait for the right day. Even if that day never ever comes.

[Despite the pain of those words, Tohko kept on forcing herself to smile, even if it was a bit of a mask and patted Quark's head again. After all, if they could manage to put all of these souls in false bodies until they restored everything, it meant..that it might be possible for her to save her dead parents too.]

Of course. I'm sure that they'll be alright once we get them bodies of their own. It'll be a temporary measure, since we're hoping to restore everything, but I'm sure they'll be happier once we manage to do that. Even if it does take us awhile.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

02. stay with me until i fall asleep

HNNNG 100 NO RAGRATS!

Re: HNNNG 100 NO RAGRATS!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

11th

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

13th

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

The Research Library on Tuesday!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject