019 ♑ [nineteenth honk]

[hystericull]

Characters: Gamzee and you.
Setting: Floor 62, Floor 53, Floor 27.
Format: Action.
Summary: A combination of event post and general open log, making up for my hiatus time. Floor 53 will be the setting for the Individuation plot, Floors 62 and 27 will be general settings for non-plot things, forward-dated a little just for convenience's sake. OH AN ACTUAL SUMMARY - Gamzee hears voices and goes crazy, which is pretty run-of-the-mill for him, but this time it's accompanied by shadowy children who don't like him very much. In the other threads, he's being equally disconcerting, however with a noted lack of children.
Warnings: Gamzee. Profanity, general vulgarity.

Floor 53 (Classroom)
[Much like the beach, Gamzee had spent a lot of time vandalizing this floor, as well. Chalk was scattered all over the floor, white hand prints pressed on every surface imaginable. The scrawlings on the board ranged from crude artistic depictions of violence, to repeated profanities, to long lines of text that seemed to have been copied from memory or some sort of literature. These still varied in subject matter. Some of it was written like dialogue; accusatory, harsh and degrading. The language was so brutal and unfeeling, yet it was written in the neatest handwriting (if any of Gamzee's handwriting could actually be considered such.)]

[The dialogue was the words he was hearing from his hauntlings. Some of the children had dissipated after Gamzee had become uninterested in them. However, three of them still stuck around. He did his best to ignore them, but his mindless, unconscious scribbling of their relentless beratements betrayed his efforts, serving only to encourage them. The relationships depicted through the words were pretty discernible, all things considered. One was clearly a parental figure, though these sentences were only half-formed, as if having been translated before being written. The words and phrases here, despite not being complete, were just as ruthless, if not moreso than the others, and the pocks of dust on most of them suggest the chalk had been broken numerous times transcribing them.]

[The other two sections of dialogue were decidedly non-familial in nature. One was platonic, the other romantic, but both seemed to come from very close relationships. One was written exclusively in huge capital letters, belittling chastisement punctuated with "FUCK"s and long, drawn-out metaphors. The other was more serious in nature, almost disappointed, but just as angry.]

[You'd either find Gamzee scribbling away at the chalkboard, wearing down the remainder of his chalk to nubs, or sitting at one of the desks, gouging into the wood with his claws. Whatever he happened to be doing, he was pretty absorbed in it.]


Floor 62 (Beach)
[While this floor had usually been a place of reflection for him, Gamzee has spent most of the day tearing up the beach. Holes were dug everywhere, some filled with water now from the flowing tide. Where there weren't holes, there were deep gouges, claw marks and scratches that ripped across the light, dry sand to reveal the darker grains underneath.]

[He wasn't using any tools, so his hands and clothes were extremely dirty. A few of his long, yellow nails had broken off, not that he'd noticed. Currently, he's working at a particularly deep hole, scratching at the inner walls to carve it wider and painting the sand with the purple blood that had begun to drip from where his skin had broken.]


Floor 27 (Lab)
[For the first time in a while, a large grin was spread across Gamzee's face, long fangs pointing out in awkward directions. Bright light shining through rows of liquid-filled tubes cast multicolored shapes across his cheeks, and although the lights alone would be enough to capture his attention for hours, he found himself much more interested in the liquid itself. Various vials of blood, collected from monsters, fallen tower inhabitants, and two very special samples - bright red and jade green - bubbling in their own tubes next to a beaker of brown, separate from the rest.]

[Gamzee didn't have much patience for learning. The knowledge to operate this equipment was the only thing he could manage to glean from books in the library. Procedures, precautions, and any direction at all, he deemed unnecessary. He was running tests based on a whim, adding catalysts without knowing what could happen. As such, part of his work station had a big, black char across it, and the top part of his shirt collar had been blown off.]

[However, he didn't seem deterred by this, only motivated. He made his rounds, dumping assorted chemicals into the vials before returning to stare at the bubbling Christmas colors with an obsessive fascination.]

Comments

[hystericull]

[Well, he technically did interrupt him already, so that choice was done and fucking dusted. Tavros' mere presence was enough to halt Gamzee in his tracks. The scent of him was particular enough for him to discern through anything else he may have been smelling at the time - and the beach brought a lot of smells that could easily get him lost in a tumultuous wave of nostalgia.]

[In any case, Gamzee's clawing at the sides of the hole slowed considerably, but did not stop. The last time he heard that voice, it had been telling him how disappointed it was in him. How much he fucked up and left him to die. That's not what friends do to friends. That's--]

[That was an illusion. This was the real Tavros, now. No more shadowy voices yelling and accusing in his ears. He kept digging.]

It's what they fuckin' call me.

[pushedaround]

[ Tavros sighed softly. First Tohko was ill, and now this. It seems everyone is having their own drama with this event, and yet Tavros didn't feel anything, only extreme exhaustion .. and frustration. He just wanted to get back to his bad habit of sleeping for days, and not deal with this. He didn't want to fucking deal with any of this.

That was the plan. Play dead until this event is over.

He could still persuade that plan. It's not like Gamzee is showing any sign of interest in socializing, and perhaps Tavros is intruding like a rude motherfucker. Yet, just making sure- ]

So, um, do you want to talk about this? Or maybe you just ... want to keep digging ...

Uh.

[ . . . ]

Do you want me to go find Fef?

[hystericull]

[Tavros, you always intrude like a rude motherfucker. Then again, Gamzee would be hells of concerned if ever you didn't, so please feel free to proceed. Most of what the boy had said had been ignored in favor of peeling out chunks of rock and shell from the sides of his hole. He was making a nice little pile of junk by his feet, each stone clinking against the other as he pulled them out.]

[Until Tavros mentioned Feferi, to which Gamzee still didn't raise his head, but chuckled a bit at his pile of seashells.]

Not motherfuckin' necessary.

[Truth be told, he was not as close to a mental breakdown as he usually was. He just needed to blow off some steam, find something to do with his hands. With a sigh, Gamzee collected the pile of shells into the bottom of his t-shirt, holding them in place with one hand and using the other to hoist himself up the edge of the hole. He stayed there for a moment, torso sticking over the edge while his arm splayed on the surface to keep himself from dropping back down.]

Hey.

[...]

Got sand in places I all wasn't motherfuckin' thinkin' could have sand in them.

[pushedaround]

Okay ...

[ And the little shit giggled. Honestly, he didn't know what kind of response Gamzee is expecting out of this, but Tavros assumed he's just trying to make this less awkward and more ridiculous for the sake of their sanity. Hey, if that's what he wants- Tavros will roll with it! ]

How unfortunate, but I can't help you with that. So, um-

I get it. You're trying to do your thing, and I'm here breathing down your neck, even though I promised I won't do that anymore, but you're here! So, I kinda want a hug? Really badly.

It was-

[ It was a tricky process. While Tavros didn't exhibit any true remorse or distress, it didn't mean he's not as messed up as the others. In fact, he was miserable, but not to the point of total meltdown. Sure, it would be nice to have a discussion with his pale sister, but Tohko had her own problems and Tavros didn't want to be a burden.

And now, he regrets his choices. ]

... Yeah. One hug, and then you can continue digging. Pupa Promise!

[hystericull]

[That was usually the way he rolled, yeah. Make light of situations until they seemed insignificant. Actually, he wasn't really sure what the "situation" was right now. He only felt awkward because Tavros had been speaking like he was treading those peanut butter toes on a carpet of cluckbeast eggs while he was around Gamzee.]

[It was adorable.]

[For the first time since he'd been followed by those infernal shadow creatures, Gamzee smiled. He smiled up at his matesprit like it was going out of motherfucking style, and he struggled immensely trying to heave himself out of the hole while still keeping a grip on the shells in his shirt.]

[After some time, he managed to dig his feet into the walls of the hole and use his legs to climb up and out of the thing. Once standing again, he held the hem of his shirt with one hand, and used the other to wrap around Tavros' shoulders, pulling the other boy up against his chest.]

[He did this without any cues, and without any words, holding his personal hot water bottle of a boy against him and burying his face in the spot it had not been buried in for too long.]

[Gamzee was sandy and wet and dirty and disgusting. So, sorry about all that against your clothes, Tavros. Soon after actually getting the lowblood's scent on him, and sniffing the familiar smells of his hair and feeling his skin, Gamzee dropped the bottom of his shirt, letting the seashells clatter to his feet in favor of wrapping his now-free arm around Tavros' middle.]

[There is no hope for escape.]

[pushedaround]

[ The stench didn't bother him at all. In fact, it never does.

Tavros had the tendency to spend hours and hours rolling in the dirt with hoofbeasts, and they didn't smell any better either. However, for his own reasons, he preferred to act like he was offended by Gamzee's lack of hygiene. I guess a part of him didn't want others talking shit behind Gamzee's back.

Now, back to the embrace.

It could be the beach, or maybe the heartbreaking reunion with his dead Lusus, or maybe some other unrecognized influence within his subconscious, but for now-- in this very moment, being this close to Gamzee ... felt like home.

There is a sudden, painful sense of nostalgia. Aside from his red feelings, Tavros had other reasons for not giving up on their unsettled relationship. Gamzee is, literally, the only creature that reminded him of home, and the idea of losing that connection- scared the shit out of him. So, yeah, if he was desperate enough to ask for a hug, it means he really needs one right now.

He wraps his arms around his matesprit, eyes closed, shoulders relaxing in the process. He decided his promise didn't mean shit and he's not letting go either. Instead, he makes some awful lovesick puppy noises while nuzzling him. ]

[hystericull]

[That was... incredibly sweet of you, Tavros. However, people probably still talked shit behind Gamzee's back regardless of how he smelled. He didn't much care, but the fact that you would be worried about it would probably warm his murderous little pump biscuit.]

[If his life depended on it, Gamzee could probably never quite explain all of the feelings he had about Tavros and about their relationship. It was the backbone for everything he was and would continue to be. If he didn't have this boy around to hold and to talk to and to watch perform even the most mundane of tasks, he would lose himself completely. As he was a symbol of home for Tavros, Tavros was a symbol of who Gamzee used to be, and the only good thing about home he could remember. He'd alienated himself from everyone else back home while they'd spent time in the tower together. He'd alienated himself from himself. However, whenever he'd forget that things from before had ever been good, or if he'd forget he had anything left to look forward to, Tavros would always show up as if on cue. This time was no different, either.]

[Gamzee practically ate those noises up, a low, pleased rumbling rising up from his throat in response to them. Lords, he was so smitten it practically hurt. He stood there for a long time, lost in the warmth and security of Tavros' hold on him, the sound of the tide and the refreshing coolness of the misty air. He sighed into the hair enveloping his face, pressing his lips somewhere in it all.]

[After a long, long while of holding Tavros against him and contemplating ever letting him go ever again in his life, he spoke.]

Come look at my hole.

[pushedaround]

[ He didn't even notice the growth of his own smile; only by the time he heard those words Tavros became more aware of his own actions. Along with the smile and the warmth of his cheeks, he had his fingers glued to the highblood's form, ears twitching at every little sound Gamzee made. It was a bliss. ]

Heh- hehe ...

[ He muffles the rest of his chuckle against the skin of Gamzee's neck, making no attempt on pulling away yet. It was too late for him; his body felt completely numb and dependent on the generosity of the other. As if he was so painfully deprived from all kinds of affection, even when that's not the case at all. It certainly felt like it, though.

His limbs are not cooperating, not willing to let go of their possession, even when he decided that he should, at least, make some effort to stare in amazement at the result of Gamzee's digging skills. ]

'Sorry. That sounded a bit lewd in my head.

[ And now, he will fulfill Gamzee's request, breaking apart from the comfort of their embrace and venturing alone toward the edge of the ditch. He stared at it for a few seconds before turning to face his matesprit again.

... ]

You have a nice hole.

[hystericull]

[The laughter against his skin made his spine shake in the best way, made his shoulders slump in relaxation. It was pacification and adoration at once, and he didn't give a shit how taboo that might have been, because he was happy.]

[Gamzee did not protest in the slightest at being held longer for what was considered an appropriate hug length. In fact, when he was released, it was with a brief huff of protest before he got a hold of himself properly.]

[He turned around to admire Tavros admiring his hole, chilly, bloodied fingers finding their way under the hem of his shirt and into the deep pockets of his ratty pants. It felt strange, looking at the boy and not being immediately tangled up in him like he was accustomed to. Without stepping forward and risking losing such perfect scenery, Gamzee's eyes slid from the boy's sandal-clad feet to the mess of overgrown mohawk perched atop his head. His eyes drooped sleepily, and the corners of his mouth tugged up. Hard to believe that a moment prior, he was slicing out chunks of this strip of sand like he was intent on killing it.]

Thanks, motherfucker. You all shouldn't be perching your sweet self as all fuckin' close at to the edge of it as all you're to be motherfucking doing now. Got all some wicked ideas of tipping you in 'til you ain't nothin' but a little head poking up out the motherfuckin' ground.

[He grinned down at his shoes, popping his sockless feet out from them.]

Then I'd be having you at my motherfucking mercy, dog.

[pushedaround]

That's some scary words, bro.

[ Using his claws, Tavros scratched at the curve of his neck, staring ahead. He finally noticed the level of destruction one single troll is capable of, and with that sudden ( yet very late ) realization, he averts his attention to the highblood's set of claws. As expected, those bony fingers are a bloody mess. ]

Do you ... feel any better?

[ He was more intrigued than concerned. This little Nitram resolved his problems in the least violent manners, and considering trolls nature, Gamzee's reactions is far more respectful. Maybe if he went crazy, screamed at random objects before flipping them into the void, he'd be able to release the stress and-- end up feeling better?!! It's an idea.

He joined Gamzee and removed his own sandals, surprisingly this time his feet are sockless as well. Unsure of what needs to be done after complimenting his matesprit's work, the Taurus settled on the warm sand and stretched his legs.

He smiled when he looked up at Gamzee, wiggling his toes. ]

If you still feel like shit, I know how to cheer you up.

[hystericull]

[Gamzee only grinned in response. What he was going to do to Tavros if he had him completely at his mercy was something he could spend hours imagining. Some of it good, some of it pleasurable, some of it not-so. Some of it bloody. For now, though, he'd save the daydreaming, because it had been a while since he'd had this kind of opportunity to really sit down with a brother.]

[He found himself at a loss for words. Did he feel any better? Did tearing up the beach bring him joy? Not really, but he didn't feel nearly as murderous and agitated as he had before. He wasn't completely over it, but he was better. So, yes, he supposed he did feel better.]

Kinda.

[For Gamzee, it seemed the amount of words he spoke was directly in contrast with the amount of thinking he was doing. Less thinking, more words. More thinking, less words. He took a seat in the sand next to his matesprit, taking pleasure in watching the boy run his toes through the sand. It was a strange experience, sharing the beach with someone. He could watch someone else's toes instead of his own. He liked it.]

[Dipping his heels into the rise of the tide, he tossed an inquisitive look at his partner, followed by a chuckle that was mostly drowned out by the noise of the waves.]

And all just what the fuck sort of cheering up activities be you all having to be kicking up in that motherfuckin' cocoa bean yours, motherfucker?

[pushedaround]

[ When Tavros used the word 'scary', he meant it. For a brief moment, he had his own envision of his fate if he had fallen into that hole. Less pleasurable and more gory. It was hard to explain-- how his relationship with Gamzee is constantly associated with a lingering fear of his unpredictable aggression. Being in a red quadrant with the highblood didn't change anything. He's not in the safe zone quite yet.

This time, however, after watching his partner with a calm smile, Tavros leaned forward, touching the bottom of Gamzee's chin with a curled finger and thumb, burying the rest of his chuckle beneath a kiss. Its pressure is firm, forward and sure.

At the end of the day, he loved Gamzee with all his flaws. No question. If he had to spend the rest of his existence working on their relationship and finding a healthy approach, he'd do it with no regrets. Breaking the kiss, he crawled and settled behind his partner, stretching his legs on either sides. He beckons Gamzee to hunch forward before he placed both hands on his shoulders. ]

This will surely relax you!

[ Who wouldn't enjoy a motherfucking massage therapy?!! Whenever he encounters a restless beast, Tavros would take his time in 'pampering' it, and it proved to offer positive results. So-- it should work with Gamzee, right? ]

[hystericull]

[Are you calling him a restless beast? You wouldn't be too far off, there. Gamzee was expecting maybe some quality bro time in the sand, or maybe a sweet skinnydipping session. (Did Tavros even know how to swim? It had never occurred to Gamzee to ask.) He did not expect hands on his back, warming his skin and beginning to knead away the tension that had built up in his muscles. He dropped his hands to lay flat on the sand between where his legs were sprawled open before him, hunching forward and letting out a surprised puff of air through his nostrils.]

[His eyes drooped a little in the afterglow of a kiss he'd waited too long for, and in the current moment of fingertips on his shoulders.]

You ain't gotta fuckin' get on to all be doing this, motherfucker...

[His claws scratched at the dirt idly, and as much as he assured Tavros such gestures were unneeded, the way his tongue lolled out of his mouth stupidly proved otherwise.]