Claudia Hortensia Kotomine [AU: Master] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sicharia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
towerofanimus2013-08-30 12:27 pm
sicharia) wrote in towerofanimus2013-08-30 12:27 pm
three.
Characters: [AU9] Claudia Hortensia & OPEN
Setting: Floor 101; Floor 50
Format: Brackets preferred
Summary: Claudia looks at pictures of her family, prays, and cries! But mostly cries.
Warnings: Prrrobably lots of self-hate in this post.
I. Floor 101
[It might be better to do this somewhere more private. Then again, someone else might say it would be better not to do this at all—it's like a form of self-flagellation, if not a physical one, with Claudia purposefully hurting herself because she deserves to be punished. The atmosphere of the hanging garden attracts her, though, and, at least in her own mind, this is something she needs to do.]
[It's not as though this is the first time she has looked at the photo album that came with her inside her trunk, and it's not as though it has never made her feel melancholy before. This is, however, the first time she has been able to bring herself to touch it since the appearance of those shadows. There are photos of Kirei, and her wedding, and her daughter, and her family and Risei—and now looking at them hurts so much she cries until she can't see.]
[So, late in the morning, this is where she'll be, her head bowed as she tries not to sob out loud.]
II. Floor 50
[Claudia still refuses to visit the cathedral floor, so this is where she has taken to praying. The brightness of the floor, between the windows and the overhead lights, helps to clear her head, so while it could perhaps be a little more comfortable, it does well enough. She can be found here, kneeling by one of the windows with her hands clasped in prayer, in the afternoon and into the evening, apparently without regard to the time of day despite lacking the ability to defend herself.]
Setting: Floor 101; Floor 50
Format: Brackets preferred
Summary: Claudia looks at pictures of her family, prays, and cries! But mostly cries.
Warnings: Prrrobably lots of self-hate in this post.
I. Floor 101
[It might be better to do this somewhere more private. Then again, someone else might say it would be better not to do this at all—it's like a form of self-flagellation, if not a physical one, with Claudia purposefully hurting herself because she deserves to be punished. The atmosphere of the hanging garden attracts her, though, and, at least in her own mind, this is something she needs to do.]
[It's not as though this is the first time she has looked at the photo album that came with her inside her trunk, and it's not as though it has never made her feel melancholy before. This is, however, the first time she has been able to bring herself to touch it since the appearance of those shadows. There are photos of Kirei, and her wedding, and her daughter, and her family and Risei—and now looking at them hurts so much she cries until she can't see.]
[So, late in the morning, this is where she'll be, her head bowed as she tries not to sob out loud.]
II. Floor 50
[Claudia still refuses to visit the cathedral floor, so this is where she has taken to praying. The brightness of the floor, between the windows and the overhead lights, helps to clear her head, so while it could perhaps be a little more comfortable, it does well enough. She can be found here, kneeling by one of the windows with her hands clasped in prayer, in the afternoon and into the evening, apparently without regard to the time of day despite lacking the ability to defend herself.]
no subject
All right. Thank you, Lancelot. I'm very grateful.
[She shifts slightly, as if to rise to her feet, but then she pauses. She's sorer than she had realized, and she feels embarrassed for it.]
[Rather sheepishly, she looks up to him and says:]
Ah... Could you help me up? I'll be fine once I'm on my feet.
no subject
[Without hesitation, he extends a hand to her.]
It will be my pleasure.
no subject
[And she doesn't hesitate to take his hand and pull herself up. When she leans over to brush her knees off, she takes the moment to stretch as well, fingers pressing against the joints through the skirt covering them. She lets out a faint, rueful puff of breath; it's been a while since she's felt so sore just getting up, but she has no one to blame but herself, she supposes.]
I do hope we're taking the elevator.
[There's a faintly joking lilt to her tone.]
no subject
[He catches the joke and a faint smile crosses his face. It is brief.
He could carry her, as he often carries his Master, but she is well enough to walk, and he will not assume, though he notes the stiffness in her movements.
He leads her toward the door to the stairs. They must travel a few floors to reach one where the elevator stops.]
There are few here of our Faith. I honor your Devotion, but if it be not too bold, I would ask you not to neglect more earthly concerns.
no subject
This isn't something I make a habit of—I'm just a little preoccupied right now, that's all. I appreciate your concern, but you don't need to worry.
[It's only after the words have left her mouth that she realizes how genuinely she means them. Maybe it isn't much by any other standard, but right now, his words seem like a great kindness to her, and she feels intensely grateful.]
no subject
He carries his Master only when his Master's strength fails him completely.
He bows his head.]
As you say, Lady. I will not doubt your word, I felt only that I should say my piece.
This place, I know, strains our spirits. I would be the last to judge those who act amiss because their hearts ache.
[In his Time, he had done many things he now regrets, inspired by ardor, passion, or rage.]
If you seek someone to speak to of your worries, you may speak to me, but if not, then remain silent, and I shall not trouble you.
no subject
[Maybe there is, but it's nothing she can do anything about now. Troubling someone else with it won't do her any good. "I wish I had died," probably doesn't communicate exactly what she would want it to, anyway.]
[In spite of those thoughts, though, she smiles to herself when she speaks again.]
But it's nice just knowing you'd be willing to listen, so thank you. I don't know if you'd ever...want to, but just so you know, I want to offer you the same thing in return. I know things have been difficult lately.
no subject
Your thanks is not needed. It would be my pleasure and my honor.
My only troubles are my Master's, Lady, and they are his to speak of.
Other Servants here, I know, act as if they are the Men they once were, and that is well and good for them, but I do not. I am not.
[What he had wanted was Peace, Justice, Death. It was not a second life. He will serve his Master faithfully, and he will not fail, as he had in life.]
no subject
To be honest, I'm not sure I understand, but I'll take your word for it.
[She won't pry, either, and just the company is nice, so instead she asks:] Can you at least tell me how you've been?
[There's a slight hint of teasing in her voice again, but it's a genuine question.]
no subject
[Having said all this, Lancelot is quiet for a moment.]
I am well, I thank you, my Lady, as my Master is well.
no subject
[Her jaw tenses, and she swallows. Her stomach and heartbeat feel unsettled.]
It's wrong.
[This is the ground she has staked herself on. She can't afford to believe otherwise now.]
no subject
Would you make that choice for others, Lady?
[His tone is only polite, not confrontational.]
It suited me to be my King's. When I was Other, then came ruin.
Now it suits me to serve my Master. I will serve him unto death, and when we are done, I will have proven my Service and my Sword.
no subject
[Maybe her answer and the way she seems incensed says more than she would like it to, but she has never been the type to keep her emotions hidden.]