towerofanimus | Log 025 | Into new, unseen horizons...

Entry tags:

Log 025 | Into new, unseen horizons...

Characters: Sephiroth & Open [Excepting A]
Setting: In prompts below; B - E could be at any point during the w/c 8th September, please date for orders sake!
Format: Bit of both. Feel free to tag in what is most comfortable.
Summary: A: Individuation Fallout - Sephiroth returns a day late after death no. 10 to find someone has been waiting. Others: Various studying, working and thinking; the pressure is now most definitely on.
Warnings: Sephiroth is very prickly around science-associated anything. Otherwise, usual violence associated warnings apply.

A; Dormitory 03-02. Backdated 19th August [Closed: Ishtar (

xroyal_bratx ) and later-Darres (

queensgeneral )]
Mother.

He'd heard her. Just before it had all gone black.

He'd been floating again, outside of his body. There had been a cage this time but his soul couldn't move.

Sound slipped first from the enveloping blackness of sleep paralysis. One whole day and one whole hour later than usual Sephiroth drew a stronger breath, a waking breath. He thought he could hear someone else close by, almost too close by in fact. Sephiroth's still-closed eyelids twitched and tentatively he thought to flex his extremities. After somewhat of a pause while the rest of the paralysis faded it was revealed that only one set of toes felt tangible yet - all three of his other limbs were still gripped in numbness. That same pins and needles that no matter how much he moved said limbs wouldn't expedite it away, Sephiroth knows as he's dealt with it before. There was nothing to do but to wait it out, concerning as it was to note the progression of it from two limbs to three. What would happen when his entire body was numb for a while after being transplanted into a new vessel? The main concern in not knowing if it was intentional on Jason's part, or if it indicated something else.

It would be even more of a failure on his part, to have not realized his freedom - indeed obtained somehow for himself a new, real body before it came to any more longer-lasting effects of having died.

Then came that sound again. So close it was almost as if it was in front of his face. Sephiroth's eyebrows dropped into a frown as he felt a weight on his chest. That sound. Someone sobbing quietly. Why would anyone be here right now, and crying? It didn't make any sense. Eyelids parted and Sephiroth peered down onto the top of a somewhat-but-not-too-familiar parting of hair-

"Ishtar-?"

B: Research Library/Study Room Floor 19/18 [Open]
[Advanced Physics, Chemistry and Biology are just some of the associated titles lifted from the shelves of Floor 19 and brought down one set of stairs to the Study floor on occasion. Though it's not so much to refresh his knowledge in light of his current responsibilities, however it might seem. Sephiroth already knows all of the knowledge, skills and deduction that will be required in breaking down and identifying the elements that make up the enigmatic violet collar fluid. He could conjure methods and generate theories to be tested all in his own brilliant (though never to be referred as scientific) mind.

What bothers him, immensely, is how exactly he has this knowledge. There is a lot to be said for the vast knowledge he accumulated in life and beyond it, from the Lifestream, but without a logical foundation from which to work from he's relying on what could be an entirely flawed medium; his memories. Not that studying any of this from books available here could be at all applied to their subject matter - indeed he wonders what use anything biological could have in a Tower of Illusions - but as the piles of books on the table around him increase, at least Sephiroth could start to feel more secure in his knowledge.

That is, if he didn't think too much about his 'father'. If only he could stop remembering that laugh he'd heard in one of the psychelysis phantoms-]

C: Gymnasium Floor 39 [Open]
[Sephiroth and the Gymnasium have somewhat of a off-and-on relationship. There had been a time, of more routine excursions, where he could have been found here more often than not. Back when betterment of the physical form he'd obtained for himself prior to being brought to the Tower was more important than anything else. In the face of the Glamoured reality, such concerns were not justified anymore.

Still, as vital as his work with the collar liquid is, Sephiroth will not sit and study endlessly; all things considered after all it would be dangerous to. He refuses to become that man whom he hates so much, and his physical training does well to ensure that he will not slip that way. It helps to reassure him greatly of his own identity, and has the added bonus of venting his pent up frustrations not only of his continued imprisonment in the Tower - but of angry impulse that might otherwise be exploded in one of the many faces of those that, by right, he shouldn't even be involving himself with but had found himself having to accept.

There were always the monsters to train himself to be better against, after all.

Sephiroth can be found pounding bare fists powerfully into one of the punchbags with strength enough to crack the knuckles of most others, running laps around the track, or bench pressing - lain across one of benches once he's verified it as safe to use that day. Always dressed appropriately for the exercise, only in leather pants and boots with his long silver hair braided back out of the way - though armor and jacket are never far away. It's never known when they could be needed.]

D: Sauna Floor 77 [Open]
In the dry heat of the Sauna it seemed that Sephiroth had finally found somewhere quiet enough to recollect his thoughts. The hot air created some sort of bubble around his senses after a while and he found himself drawn into feeling as relaxed as he could ever allow himself to feel - though never letting go of the very sore fact that he's still imprisoned here.

At least he was now going in the right direction. Who would have thought that so many would have listened to his views over the network and then been compelled by those same words to act upon them. The very personal notion that it had been his doing does wonders for Sephiroth's ego, and the fact that he'd managed (though not without some irritation) to obtain a whole tank of violet collar fluid for himself only added to that. What weighed heavily on Sephiroth's mind now was the inescapable fact that he couldn't do this alone. Said tank was being kept hidden on the strength of his shaky trust with another, the science project which now surrounded it (and him) relied also on others he didn't know at all. Not to mention the additional reconnaissance he would forever keep close to his chest, in Sheba and her books. Too many hands, each additional level to a pyramid increased not only the chance of it's ultimate failure, but the gravity such a failure would have.

Not to mention the sour taste the science project alone brought to the back of his mouth every single time he turned his attention towards the study or work. A very particular part of his hatred was forever reserved for scientists, and now through his own choice, and the utter determination he has to put himself ahead, he was having to swallow that and just do - easier said than done with an over-active mind like his. He thought he was holding up ~~his facade~~ very well, considering. However strained at times, at least so far the others involved hadn't pried and he hoped that it would stay that way.

Sephiroth sighed towards the ceiling as he reclined back on the wooden ledge, spilling silver hair all over one side of the bench from underneath him. Gazing up into the ceiling of the room, though forever he would keep his ears open for the sound of anyone, or any thing that might approach him here.

E: Violet Collar Fluid Research - Study Room Floor 18 [Open, even to not!Violet team]
[Equipment availability allowing and at carefully intended random points in the week, after craftily losing his supervisor, Sephiroth spends the odd few-blocks of hours at one of a handful of locations known to those operating in the tower-wide science project. Though at this early stage there is only observation and notes regarding what can be ascertained from a droplet under these advanced microscopes. The technology of which, and therefore the visible details under various settings, is very much beyond anything Sephiroth has even seen before. If only-

-he scowls as his thought train circulates back again to that man. Sitting back from the microscope for a few moments while he recollects his thoughts, peers over a few open pages of textbooks strewn around to reinforce them and then proceeds to continue with his work. Sephiroth prefers to take his own notes, as well, as evidenced by the words starting to appear scrawled on paper (even if it is really film) nearby.

He is careful, every time to only bring the most necessary of a sample from the tank that remains in hiding; it would not do to spend all of their available resource in discovering the facts only to then not have enough to develop anything that might counter the unwanted effects within the fluid which courses around and through ~~everyone's~~ his soul.]

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Ishtar wouldn't let him leave the bed until she was sure he was okay and that everything was intact more or less. At least, she hoped so. She didn't really care that her tone might be a bit different from how other people spoke to him. She was saying the facts, and that was it. He could be pissed at her all he wants but she did it because she was worried and she cared.

"Hey, don't try to get out of bed already."

She mused after a moment of silence. She didn't care if he was afraid or not. The point was that he died and dying is not something she wanted to see people she know go through. She watched him in silence as he remained silent. She was waiting though, for that bomb to set off. She knew he didn't like to be spoken in that manner but she did it because she cared.

"I'm not saying you're afraid of death, or that you died several other damn times. The fact is you died! I was worried out of my mind.You wouldn't respond and your body was cold. You could have at least said something before you rolled over damn it!"

For the time being at least there wasn't anything to do but just lie there and look at her. Though Sephiroth did manage to shift himself upwards within the sheets and prop himself up a little more on the pillows. The fact that he's really lying in a pod of violet colored liquid plagued his mind but the Glamour seemed stable enough.

"That is a symptom of death." There was a more definite edge of irritation to his tone that Sephiroth didn't see much point in hiding. What was all this about being worried? He certainly wouldn't have granted her the same consideration.

"Why though?" He took a breath and continued before she could answer. "You shouldn't concern yourself with it."

Ishtar moved away from him a bit so that he could get some of his space. She could guarantee she will behave right now, but soon she would hug him again because she was glad he was safe and in one piece. She really hated watching people die and this was awful, especially when Sephiroth looked like he was suffering and she did nothing to prevent it. She felt awful for letting a life slip through her fingers as if it was sand.

"I know that, since I've seen it a lot of time but still. You need rest. The place isn't going anywhere."

Ishtar furrowed her brows again, "What do you mean why?! Because we're kind of friends okay? I consider you one okay."

She replied making a face.

"I am already on this case, Sephiroth."
She was going to make sure he stayed in bed for a bit longer than this or she would attempt try anyway. Ishtar was naturally worried about many people. Sephiroth was no exception to the rule. He was stuck with her whether he wanted to be or not. He would learn she was rather forgiving to an extent as well. ]

The atmosphere between them probably felt that way, that such a hug would be imminent but Sephiroth didn't know enough about these types of feelings to be able to tell. It made the air feel oddly tense to him and he didn't like it very much at all, hence the strange gaze he held on Ishtar in case she did suddenly move for him.

But it wasn't as if he was going to try and attempt to get up until he could at least flex both sets of toes and have them feel the same so Ishtar could be assured of that at least. Friends though? Sephiroth had certainly never been friendly towards Ishtar so it really did beg the question of how she had come to feel like that. She's just another resident to him, in this prison Tower - albeit more tolerable-in-small-doses than most. His frown deepened, clearly he has no use for friendship. Indeed, such hang ups complicated matters.

"We aren't friends." His tone flat and matter-of-factly in response. She could take offense to that if she liked but he really holds no value in such human notions.

Well, he was going to have to get used to it eventually. She wasn't stopping with it. It's a habit that she had adjusted to and done often. Sephiroth may think she was annoying and that she was naggy, but Ishtar still worried about him. She cared enough to run all the way over here to see him and make sure that he was alive and kicking.

She didn't want to see him dead, or hurt. He was still a living person. He had done questionable things but places like this made people do crazy shit and she knew he was not the kind that simply just let it be. He wa sa lot different than that. She just tilted her head as she chuckled at his comment after a long pause. Her sadness seemed to drift away as she was engaging more in the conversation with him. He would be able to move soon so she knew he wouldn't stick around long after that.

"Don't be such a sour puss. You don't have to treat me like a friend or call me a friend. You can call me annoying girl or nagging idiot or whatever the hell you want to call me, but it doesn't change the fact that I like you as a friend, really. You haven't done anything for me to completely hate you for."

She replied giving him a smile. She didn't even take offense to that, "You know all you guys with silver hair say the same damn thing every time!"

Sephiroth had never done anything, to his knowledge, to merit such behavior from Ishtar. This was the most irritating, perplexing thing. When would she understand that he preferred to be left alone, that really he is all that selfish to take any and all opportunities he can without a single consideration for any other soul that resides here?

As for her considering him a friend, the logic for this evades Sephiroth completely. He doesn't concern himself with friendships, and even acquaintances must be of some value. Indeed, Ishtar was the very definition of 'annoying girl' and 'nagging idiot' but it was starting to irritate him; perhaps when feeling returned to his limbs he might well have to give her a reason to hate him. If only to get her to take the hint, to discourage her from this completely uncalled for notion of being his friend.

But maybe, just maybe, there was some explanation in her last comment. Sephiroth's numbness was slowly receding in the meantime but for now he only rubbed at a bicep with the opposite hand.

"What do you mean by that?"

He was realistic and honest if it counted as anything. To Ishtar was better to at least know someone who wad painfully honest than someone who was always hiding behind a mask. She knew how he was and what he preferred, but at some point she stopped giving too many thoughts about it. She just accepted it.

He could think of her as whatever, but that didn't change her opinion on him at the moment. He could do what he wanted. She wasn't expecting him to behave when he was better. She was just being the kind of person that cared about people. It was hard to hate anyone when they've done nothing to her that would make her hate them.

"I mean every person I met with your hair colour, has some issues with this stuff. I mean is it really hard to let people worry and care about you?"

Even after all the things Sephiroth was sure Ishtar had figured out about him still she persisted, ignoring clearly the risks to her own well being. There was a foolish strength there, or for some reason she was drawn to something about him. Her comment about his hair might be the key.

"People do not-" He paused, gathering his thoughts for a moment in order to answer the question. He grimaced a little. "-selflessly care or worry for each other. There is always something more at work driving them to do so, and more times often than not it is for personal gain.

I do not take kindly to those that would seek to use me for their own purposes."

That includes the irony of the situation they are all in, being imprisoned in the Tower as they were. For the time being, Sephiroth refused to make reference to it though.

Ishtar often did that and no matter what warning he was giving her or what he was trying to get her to do, she wasn't buying. She was so tired of having to deal with people like him all the time. She didn't want t take his shit. She didn't take all the other shit. She might have been worried about getting something lodged in her gut, but at least she got her point through, or she was trying to anyway.

"Well, you just met one of them," she replied standing up and looking at him, "and didn't we go over this? I never wanted anything from you Sephiroth. The only thing I am worried about is you. I mean why push people away?"

She mused frowning, "I'm not trying to use you or using you for anything. You got the wrong gal for that."

More time often than not Sephiroth would react to uncomfortable situations in a violent, or at most in a threatening or otherwise strongly-dissuading manner but it had never seemed to work on Ishtar. How she hadn't already ended up on the wrong side of his blade would be a subject for much internal musing, but the obvious answer; because she always seemed to come across him when he was otherwise engaged in his own suffering was something Sephiroth really didn't want to think too much about either.

Truth was, what point would there be in killing Ishtar to get her out of his way? He imagined that given as it's not a finality even that wouldn't do much to get her to leave him alone. Much the same as those he had threatened and hurt here only seemed to come back with a vengeance and never did learn a lesson. Given her illustrated stubbornness thus far, it would likely make her worse!

"You have said all of this before. Yet I-" Sephiroth paused, finally noting some feeling returned to one of his arms, but at the same time the pause was necessary to get his thoughts in order. "-I don't need the concern."

Ishtar was good at keeping herself on her toes. She learned that playing with fire wasn't always the smartest idea, but it seemed like it this situation was ore than just adding fuel to the fire. She knew he's a complicated man, so she wasn't going to make him listen to everything she said. She wanted him to at least understand where she was coming from.

She would have been worse, definitely. The girl would dog him down and drive him crazy if she could. She wouldn't let some sort of offing of her go unnoticed after all! It would be yelling more than anything

"You what?" She mused giving him a look, "You know you can tell me Sephiroth, I'm not going to get scared or anything." she replied waiting for him to reply to her, "Sure you don't Sephiroth but that doesn't mean I can't give it."

Understanding. Quite simply, Sephiroth did not understand Ishtar. Or selflessness at all really. Everything had a purpose, everyone had their own motives, their own drives and this was what Sephiroth permanently disassociates himself from. The only drive that matters is his own. Slowly as it crawls along within the confines of the Tower.

"I can't accept that." And really, he wasn't trying to be difficult - Sephiroth was perhaps the most honest of all villains. It's just how it was. He couldn't go into explaining how it made her a weakness of his. Such an acceptance of this caring would draw into question the certainty in his own ability, his own skills. To know that there would be someone there - the very idea led down a path towards comfort and this was something Sephiroth promised himself that he'd never come close to again.

Ishtar stared at him for those words. Why the hell not? Was the first words that came to mind but she decided against it and kept her mouth shut for a moment, in hopes of hearing Sephiroth continue, but he didn't and she sighed for the first time in a while. She didn't get it. How ignorant was he about such things, or did he simply chose not to understand it? She didn't get it at all either why he seemed so detached from such things. She wanted to ask but she had to phrase things correctly, or it could get bad.

"Why not? That's the kind of person I am. No matter how many times you think I have some random motive, I don't. I never will."

She replied to him, giving him a look. Being honest was good because it allowed her to at least somehow understand.

How bad could it get, with most of his limbs still locked in numbness? If Sephiroth moved to strike at Ishtar he'd more likely than not end up a useless crumple of limbs on the floor. Well, that's exactly what Ishtar had taken advantage of coming in here and snuggling up to him. Sephiroth didn't think he really wanted to know why she'd even felt compelled to do that - had he been in any other condition she'd have ended up across the room.

"That's the kind of person I am." He repeated, perhaps using her own terminology would help her to understand. "I don't let people in, there isn't any room for them."

She did hugs because it was how she was with people. It didn't seem like she did it because he was not moving. Hell, he was unconscious and she was freaking out a good chunk of time ago. Hey if he really felt that it would make him feel better to throw her against the wall or something.

She was fairly used to that at this point.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. You can't change who you are, but I'll keep trying."

She replied sitting back.

"Really, why not?"

"This is going around in circles." Sephiroth tried hard to prevent the urge to roll his eyes though thick dark eyelashes lowered a fraction and then raised again. It seemed now that most of the motor functions to his arms at least was returning and so he pushed himself more up into a sitting position. Sheets carefully bunched around his waist.

"You've been always civil to me so consider this warning; do not try to change me." Such a thing is the epitome of one forcing their will over another - another reason Sephiroth will never understand friendship. He's much too pre-occupied in making sure no one would ever be in a position to get one-up on him.

"Besides the fact that most others' activities are somewhat beneath where my attention needs to be, the fact is such relationships are pointless."

"Well yeah it is isn't it? Why don't we just drop the subject?" She replied giving him a brief smile. She understood that this wa show it always was with her and such. She didn't want to cause too much problems. She looked over at him when he was moving more often. It seemed like his issue was at least dispersing form his body.

"I'm not trying to change you. It's more like I kind of want you to understand where I'm coming from. That's all. You know I'm not trying to change you at all. I know that you don't like people to try to do stuff like that."

She replied sitting a bit straighter, "Plus, I don't want to get killed for trying to change a guy whose ego is bigger than the whole tower," she grinned, "I don't think they are, relationships I mean. Sometimes they're a huge moral support when you need it the most. At least, to me. I know this is kind of weirdly personal but, was there never a time that you had friends, or had allies you could confide to, or people you could trust?"

She leaned forward tilting her head.

Dropping the subject, it couldn't be argued, was for the best. Though perhaps, at some point, the unwarranted friendship could prove itself useful. Sephiroth kept eyes on Ishtar's face as she kept talking, his expression falling back to his usual, kept and controlled blank facade.

"I did." He answered her last, thoughts reverting back to the voices in the shadow children. Voices of individuals, comrades from a time forgotten. Taunting him, trying-to berate him...but they hadn't had that much of an effect on their own. Sephiroth remembered the voices but couldn't place them to names or faces. He looked away from Ishtar, steeling his mood against anger that stirred too keenly, and leaned back with folded arms over his chest. He looked down and around, pointedly at the copy of LOVELESS, still on the bedstand next to him. Glaring as if he might will it on fire by thought alone; another voice that he heard when he read those pages. "They betrayed me."

That's all that she was going to get. Certainly, it made him sound more the victim of bad friends, than the perpetrator of the inferno that was Nibelheim but Ishtar didn't need to know. There aren't any other people in the Tower either that she could get that story from.

Darres had spent a great deal of time looking through the tower to find a certain princess who was notorious for getting into trouble. Since the shadow figures, however, every one experienced some sort of grief or regret. Because of this, the urgency to find her was only that much intense.

It was one thing he never failed at, it was finding Ishtar. Darres always seemed to find her no matter where she could be. Even in the most obscure locations. It's part of what made him such a reliable royal knight. No one could seek Ishtar like he could. Without too much effort spent into hunting her down, when he crossed a dorm room he recognized the voice coming from within. The knight, without knocking, opened it and stepped in. Low and behold there sat Ishtar at the bedside of an unfamiliar man.

"Ishtar."

Darres was sure he didn't know the man on the bed.

Somehow she was content to hear that he was kind of opening up to her. The long run with him since their first meeting was quite the adventure. Ishtar was glad that she dropped the subjet the way she did. She didn't want to cause anymore discomfort.

"I'm sorry," she replied folding her hands together. Betrayal was never something to be taken lightly.Ishtar knew it all too well with her wild family and the attempts on her lives. She, at some point actually trusted them, but it was hard to trust her family now, knowing that they were trying to kill her, minus a few. Those few themselves always had ulterior motives. It was easy to close off the world and hide it behind a bratty complexion. She knew that now and maybe Sephiroth might be in the same position. She had n say to determine that, since he appeared like he had gone through much more than what she had. The way he behaved and how he treated people.

It sort of hurt her to see it. She eyed him briefly as he was looking around. she didn't quite get where he was looking at but she left it alone, "Betrayal hurts and no one should have done that to their friends," she paused a small furrow in her brows, "I guess that makes sense that you don't want to trust anyone."

That also meant he didn't want to get hurt. She turned towards the knocking and then Darres' face appeared from the door. She looked a bit surprised, but she was expecting it soon. She knew he would look for her when she left abruptly earlier.

"Darres."

She repeated looking at him and then to Sephiroth, mostly not sure how she was going to explain this.

Sephiroth would leave it at that. There was much more to it than a single betrayal --and in fact her comments made it sound so simple-- but at the very least, as he raised eyes back to Ishtar, she seemed to understand from her own experiences perhaps - why he couldn't trust others. He was more than prepared to exploit this understanding.

Though in reality it's much more than simply being unable to trust, Sephiroth didn't allow himself to trust, as it would be placing himself in dependence of another. It's a different outlook entirely and his own pride plays a larger role than he was letting on to Ishtar.

Suddenly there was another in the room and Sephiroth cast eyes immediately in the direction of the newcomer. He hadn't seen this particular face before and the fact that he just entered the Dormitory unannounced grated on his patience. He shifted a little in the bed, testing finally those toes to make sure that the numbness was all gone; eyes were locked on Darres suspiciously as Ishtar spoke to him.

Well this was rather awkward to run into. He didn't mean to intrude, but he couldn't just let Ishtar run rampant doing whatever she pleases either. Still, he was expecting her to stay at a bedside. He had previously already checked on Quark so at the very least he knew one of them was okay. The knight calmly cleared his throat, not bothering to walk into the room more than he already had.

"Ishar, I've been looking all over for you."

Ishtar left herself openings, and people easily found her weaknesses without much effort. Sephiroth was a smart man, he would be able to exploit such feelings that Ishtar held back on. The subject of trust itself was rather upsetting to think about. Somehow deep down in her own heart, Ishtar knew there was more to Sephiroth, but chose to not get too involved with what ran through his mind.

She didn't want to end up dead, and sometimes she might has well have been run through.

"Sorry for running off Darres. I got worried, but he looks fine now," she gave him a small weak smile, "Ah, Darres, this is Sephiroth. He;s one of the residents here, and someone I respect," she replied.

She didn't delve into much more than that, knowing she shouldn't use Sephiroth's condition to upset him.

"I told you it wasn't anything for you to get so concerned about. Just the usual tricks of this place."

Sephiroth sounded partially irritated at the intrusion not only to his very personal space, which Ishtar had violated, but also the larger intrusion of the Dormitory in which he stayed, that line of which Darres had just crossed.

He sat up more against the headboard and folded arms up across his muscular chest. Watching intently the interaction between the two of them, as certainly through Ishtar he would learn the relevance of this other man. She introduced him as respected and that pleased him, after all of her stepping on his nerves, she would still express their relationship that way. Well, he supposed, that was a start.

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Log 025 | Into new, unseen horizons...

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Perhaps we should ping Darres' to come thread-jack?

I don't know why you guys put up with me xD

b/c we love ya? xD

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