towerofanimus | [closed]

[That earns a short laugh from her.]

I'm sure you would be just fine on your own.

[And, as she says this, she leans toward him, bumping her face against his shoulder. The gesture is fond.]

Thank you, though. I'll try to repay you, somehow.

[ That soft laugh, and her reply, draws his attention. Perhaps she is merely being self-deprecating, when comparing her strength to him own, but now that he considers it... ]

You were trained, were you not, in anticipation of the War?

[ Kirei himself was trained thoroughly in magic by Tokiomi, however he did not require being taught any self defense. In Claudia's case... did they not see fit to consider such precaution?

He does not stiffen when she touches him, but his voice does quiet by a measure. It's a small touch, so casually intimate, and he is not certain whether or not she expects him to return it. ] There is no need to repay me.

I wasn't. [Her weight remains settled against his side as she replies. She doesn't look at him, her gaze fixed on her lap instead, on her bandaged hand.] Magic— [She snorts faintly, the self-depreciation in this sound plain.] That was more than enough for me to try to wrap my head around. It's not like I was going to be on the front lines, anyway.

[Admitting that to him makes her feel small and inadequate, but it's true. She has no talent for any of it, magecraft or strategy or killing.]

We aren't married, [she reminds him, even as she continues to lean against his side.] You aren't obligated to do anything for me.

[ We aren't married.

It is not as if it hurts him, but it is a surprise to hear the words spoken aloud. In truth, yes, he supposes both of them had the bonds of their union severed. They both followed through "til death" and then carried on. She seems at peace with that, so he will do the same.

Is that how he should respond, however? Is he expected to recoil at those words, and then fight for her, now that she is here again? He feels no hurt, nor offense at what is surely a denial. He looks at her hands, which rest in her lap, and wonders if she expects him to grasp one, to attempt to win her again. His hands, which like hers, bear no wedding band, and he keeps them to himself. Her weight against him, however, is oddly comfortable. ]

No. I suppose we aren't.

[ He reverts back to the previous conversation, his eyes focused forward on nothing in particular, rather than on her. ]

It was irresponsible, to not learn how to defend yourself. Many attack Masters in the War, as they are an easier target than a Servant. There is no War here, but you face danger every day.

[ Perhaps the chastising sounds protective, as if he is concerned, but it is simply an honest truth, given the threats surrounding them. ]

Maybe. [If he means for her to feel chastised, he succeeds. She said that her attention was absorbed with trying to become adequate in just one subject, but she probably could have been more diligent. She delivers her next word as an explanation, not an argument.] But I was never meant to be identified as a Master, and I'm still... There was only so much my body could be repaired.

[She's quiet for a second, but then she adds:]

I'd like to learn now, if I can. [She's tired of being a burden. Maybe—Kariya wouldn't have died that time, if she could.] I've—tried to use the obstacles within the Tower to protect myself, but...

[It hadn't worked out too well, even putting aside what had become of her in the following nights.]

I could teach you.

[ The words come naturally, without much thought behind them. His tone is neutral, betraying little to it, and he wonders if he is perhaps crossing some boundary with the offer. She has already shied from holding his hand, and just now firmly declared their separation. Perhaps such an act would be unwelcome, but it is not exceptionally intimate -- at least not any more than she is being with him now, with her leaning against him. ]

If you wanted. [ He adds. She would have every reason to refuse. ]

Oh. [The offer surprises her, but with how simply it's made, she wonders if perhaps it shouldn't. What she said before holds true, though: He isn't obligated to do anything for her. The offer is a kindness, then, and she doesn't have any right to expect that from him.]

[A second of silence passes before she has gathered herself enough to say:] No, I'd like that.

[ For a moment, he expects her to refuse. She would be right to: she is understandably wary of him. When she consents, however, no surprise shows on his face. He simply nods his head, revealing no favor of his own on the matter. ]

There are certain techniques which do not rely on physical strength alone. It would compensate for your illness.

I'm not as sick as I used to be. [She nudges him, but it's not as though she's really offended. She know she could, potentially, work herself until her body is falling apart all over again, given its inability to repair itself.] Thank you, though. I really... Please.

I have noticed. Do you feel much pain?

[ The question seems automatic, like a rehearsed response. He is meant to be concerned for her health, despite feeling no such thing. He does feel an odd curiosity about it, as if he knows what answer he is hoping to hear. ]

You do not need to thank me.

Mm... Not really. Not just from—moving around and doing normal things. [Or even not moving at all, as was sometimes the case.] I'm still not very strong, and I get tired easily, but it's still...

[...Well, to say "it's better than it was" doesn't even come close to being adequate. It's better than it has been since before she met Kirei—since she was a child, even.]

[Her body started breaking down the day she was born, after all.]

[She gives Kirei another light nudge, and she sounds teasing again as she tells him:]

But I am thankful, so I'd like to thank you, even if I don't need to.

I see.

[ It's a clipped response. Should he not be glad, to hear the woman who was once his wife is in better health? That she suffers less? Strangely: no. It is the opposite. He wants to dismiss it as something else, or find some other explanation. Perhaps this disappointment here is a delayed response to her denial of her marriage -- but that is too obvious of a delusion.

He bows his head, watching her as she nudges against him. It's a light thing, so gentle and affectionate, and he is uncertain if he is meant to reciprocate that contact or not. The gestures are confusing in a way: she denied him, but stays so close.

After a moment of thought, he stiffly puts an arm around her. It seems to be the proper thing to do. ]

You should rest now. You have kept yourself busy today.

Mm. All right.

[She has been widowed longer than they were married, but she finds herself falling back into those old patterns easily now. She pushes herself too hard sometimes, out of stubbornness; it's best for her health if she listens to his reminders to rest. She shifts against his side, getting comfortable against him as his arm wraps around her.]

Thank you. [She thanks him again, for everything, and lets her eye shut.]

[ She should not be thanking him; not for anything. She gave her life for him, and the only sorrow he felt when he watched her die was due to it being by her own hand, rather than his own--

--a thought he has tried to deny, but he cannot. His hand tightens on her arm, in a way that might be mistaken for affection or desire for closeness, but instead it's rather grim.

Kirei says nothing, and he lets her sleep. ]

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