Log 027 | Event: If You Won't | If He Can...

[neverbeamemory]

Characters: Sephiroth & Open 
Setting: Throughout the Tower during the Event
Format: 2 x Action prompts below; more in comments/links, to be updated as the Event progresses. Action or Prose as preferred.
Summary: Catch-all for the "If You Won't" Event (Mod Post Link - Part One, Mod Post Link - Part Two )
Warnings: Candy hunt abstaining consequences; misconceptions, paranoid consequences and all the associated could-turn violent warnings all apply. I will update anymore content warnings as they happen.

October 20th - Floor 81
[Stock up on candy. Really Ruana? Stupid game.

Then why can't he shake the feeling that he really ought to collect candy? This unsettling feeling nestles in the back of Sephiroth's mind as he settles into one of the couches on the 81st floor with a well-read book. That 'something' that he should be doing, that 'urge' which pulls him towards the candy that others he's passed today seem to be looking avidly for - but he's not looking for any himself, so he can't see any. Learned helplessness indeed, look at how you all cower in the face of punishment (or perhaps for her favor) and do her bidding. Sure, he hunted monsters last time and didn't much mind it. But this urge? It's degrading to say the least, an insult to his abilities. 

That bowl on his bed stand can stay empty all week, as far as he's concerned. What could she do about it if he wanted to show he wont be puppeted around so easily - and if he died - there is something concerning about how Sephiroth see's the prospect of death as another opportunity, but perhaps really it's not all that concerning considering? Punishment itself loses it's edge also, having been through so much.

A few pages into the book and it's easy enough to ignore the 'something' that itches just beneath conscious thought.]  

October 21st - Throughout the Tower 

[Sleep has done nothing to get rid of this feeling. In fact, he has the distinct feeling that he might well have dreamed of collecting candy like the others. That is a disturbing thought - almost as jarring as the forgetful feeling, that near knot to his stomach, that's dragged over from yesterday except now it's like it's equipped with a weapon to fight his will with, rather than just trying to creep it's way around into his conscious thoughts from the internal depths he'd banished it to.  

Sephiroth is, however, no stranger to compulsions enforced by the Tower. However it seems, that this time, he is able to hold it at bay. This gives his ego the strength it needs to put these nagging compulsions back into the (slightly smaller) box in his mind and carry on with his sweeping of the Tower.  

Hold on though - just what was it with everyone else today? The natural lack of respect that others held in their gaze at him seems higher in definition today, passing's in Hallways and Stairwells first stir his suspicions but this becomes more than obvious by the time the elevator opens on the 1st Floor and he sweeps his gaze across those in the Cafeteria at the time on his way to the stairwell. He knows that the network is down, but having sneered at the intensity of which everyone else was so obviously snubbing him - it wasn't going to help his calm, focused reverie any under the heat of such disrespectful eyes - he needs to get away into some floor that it's less likely he will come across others'. How dare they all look at him in such a condescending way! He could kill them all if he wanted to, he'd sweep each floor, go on a Tower-wide massacre and the more he thought about it the more it started to override that something important that he was forgetting to do. No- he won't be baited so easily.

Floor 5 always seems to be the floor he retreats to for re-centering himself and gazing no-end into the viewfinder of his world, feeling out the distinct connection he has to it is something of a therapy.]
 

More Part One Prompts:
October 22nd
October 23rd, 24th, 25th

Part Two Mingle - Date/Location to be in each sub-thread header

Comments

October 22nd - Hallways, Stairwells, Libraries, Lounges and Gymnasium

[neverbeamemory]

[This is getting more than annoying.

He can't shake the notion that he really needs to go and collect some candy. Everyone else must be doing it for a reason-

But this is playing her game. You shouldn't concede now, you're stronger than this place.

He doesn't care what you all think, looking down on him for refusing to take part in the game. You are all taking part in her game, this makes you all weaker than he is. He is on the high-ground, he continues to resist the urge.

I am stronger than this.
You can't make me.
I'm not scared of you.
Candy is for children.

Pathetic huh? Shut up, all of you. YOU are pathetic for playing along, for bending to their will, and for even daring to then judge him for his stronger willpower.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

Whatever, he doesn't care what any of you think. He is superior to you all! If he wanted to, he'd find the more than enough candy than is required. He can play this game if he wanted to. But he doesn't want to, it would be terribly bad form if he now went back on his resolve not to participate. But he's falling behind, there had to be a reason why his own instincts were now screaming at him. Why even his concentration on his books, his meditation, or even his strenuous working out seems half-assed. His mind is on all the candy that he needs to find. Even forcing his focus inwards to try and alleviate some of this compulsion by the strength of his own will, is short-lived indeed.

I'll show you.

Sephiroth delivers a final, powerful kick to the punching bag he's been abusing this afternoon. Releasing it from the ceiling and sending it flying across into some of the other gym equipment nearby.]

October 22nd - Gymnasium

[stitchedupbodyguard]

Whoa!

[Veronica jumps as a punching bag flies by and smashes into some equipment. Her eyes follow the bags trajectory back to Sephiroth, who gets a weird look.]

Uh.... you okay?

[neverbeamemory]

[There is a beat between Sephiroth realizing he's managed to kick the apparatus across the room and his registering the presence of another resident nearby.

Veronica gets nothing but a glare. It's exactly as if she had been the trigger that had caused the outburst. He doesn't know her, she had to have been whispering just under her breath -

Sephiroth balls bare hands into fists and slowly un-clenches them, eyes still locked on the (as far as he's concerned) source of the offending whispers. the anger sizzling away behind livid eyes is blistering.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[Veronica just stares back, more confused than anything. It was true. She was hearing the voices too. Their growing paranoia was starting to grate on her nerves. She was getting real tired of them real fast, and it was starting to drive her up the wall.

But this guy wasn't to blame, at least she figured he wasn't. It was the admins.

She doesn't move from the spot, raising her arms in a show of non-violence, though it was also to easily get her blades if she needs them.]

Uh... hi?

Gym

[evokingfool]

[When he heard something crashing, Minato quickly goes to investigate. His eyes glanced at the fallen gym equipments, before he looked around for the cause.

He saw Sephiroth and can only assume the tall swordsman was responsible.]

...Sephiroth-san?

[neverbeamemory]

How. DARE. You.

[It's grumbled as Minato addresses him, the words barely coherent as flared anger settles back down into a simmer. It is exactly as if Minato has been talking down to him, rather than hearing the honorific for what it's intended as.

He has to get a handle on this. He shouldn't care what others think of him. It's that woman -Ishtar- having an effect on him. Softening his resolve to a point where he's feeling like he's falling behind in a candy hunt of all things. He takes a couple of steadying breaths.

This is all part of the game.]

[evokingfool]

[He stands there and watches Sephiroth carefully, staying at a reasonable distance from him. Of course, after spending those training lessons with him, Minato knows Sephiroth can easily close the gap.

It depends on the swordsman's state and how he proceeds right now.]

...What's wrong?

October 22nd - gym

[taintedwhite]

[There's loud clapping and soft giggling as the bag is send flying across the room.]

Yay! Well done, Silver-san! [That's your name, Sephiroth. Deal with it.]

Can Shiro play too?

[Shiro's actually Candy Hunting. But she doesn't mind taking a break to play with a 'friend'.]

[neverbeamemory]

[Silver-san...

Like he needs an insulting nickname to go with all the paranoia curling it's fist around inside his core. Sephiroth deeply scowls at Shiro.]

This is not a game.

[taintedwhite]

[Insulting? It's a beautiful name, Seph. You should feel proud.

Shiro looks back at him, genuine surprise and curiosity painted all over her face.]

What is it, then?

for the 21st oops

[terra_nullius]

[Someone is chipper enough even if all there is to eat for yet another day is pumpkin. It's not real pumpkin so the offense his tastebuds are registering is silly. They should be glad it's something that tastes good rather than something horrible!

He looks up to see Sephiroth, a familiar face and one he has a smidgen of respect for. Sephiroth does seem to have his ducks in a row, after all. He waves a hand in invitation, though it doesn't seem like Sephiroth is stopping in at all... oh well. Perhaps they can speak another time, then. He drops his gaze back to the meal he's forcing down his throat once more.]

[neverbeamemory]

[And just what did that gesture mean? Was Xehanort flipping him off or something?

Apart from the obvious lack of respect he's perceiving, as with all of those considered to be on a similar wavelength to him, there is always the concern that they really do plot behind his back. Wasn't this just the most perfect demonstration of that suspicion?

Sephiroth pauses in the doorway of the Cafeteria and meets Xehanort's gaze for a second before he would otherwise have walked away. Clearly the other has something to say to him, Sephiroth narrows eyes at the top of that silvered head - considering.]

this is beautiful

[terra_nullius]

[He was quite engaged in playing with his pumpkin in an attempt to make it more palateable. Right now he's pushing a bit around with his knife, making some kind of picture. It's hard to discern right now as he's in the middle of making it, but it's something that's rather long, with something blobby at the bottom and boxy at the top.

Sephiroth's face seems a bit tighter than usual, but anyone could be stressed out by things in the tower. It seems to be par for the course so he doesn't really consider it at all. Though if the man is busy he won't keep him...]

It's been some time. I just wanted to say hello.

October 23rd, 24th, 25th

[neverbeamemory]

23rd October: Dorm 3-02
[Oh so it's that feeling again. That creeping feeling of forgetfulness, the notion that he's being prejudiced by everyone else in the Tower for not collecting candy.

Sephiroth knows that this can be ignored (he did it before after all!) as long as he keeps his mind elsewhere. He sits on his bed in the Dormitory, back against the headboard with a large book open in his lap and a few pages of notes strewn around. Collar fluid research has been lacking this month, out of all the Admins - Ruana catching on would be the worst case scenario. But this doesn't stop him from studying, theorizing and re-copying his notes from his older, heavily annotated notes. He keeps an eye on his bowl of candy nearby, containing his haul from yesterday - but he is pointedly keeping his thoughts elsewhere.]

24th October: Morning, Floor 5
[The remains of Gaia, and the connection he feels toward it serve permanently as a reminder to Sephiroth of who he is and how he is above these tricks, this game. Ruana. The knot of dread in his stomach doesn't sit well with the general weariness he feels very well at all. Though, a faint voice in his mind that sounds like him is just compounding the issue.

Stop wallowing in the past. There is candy to collect for now
-This is all just part of her game.

All these inferior beings, getting ahead of me-
-They are inferior, by willingly taking part. Learned helplessness-

Then I really have started to lose myself, slipping beneath-
-It's not like that.

But really, he's not so sure anymore. The compulsion to get off his knees and do something to correct that voice is getting stronger by the minute.]

25th October: Floor 81, Early Evening
[Well that hasn't been as successful as he hoped it would. Perhaps it was the floor he had chosen - Floor 85 isn't so much of a challenge as the search he had done on the digging floor, he had been powerless then as well. Maybe that has something to do with it.

For the first time this week though, he hasn't got that wretched paranoia. He could spend the rest of his days in the Tower cursing at how he has willingly participated, but as he stands waiting for the Elevator now with arms relatively full of candy, Sephiroth is somewhat glad for the reprieve. ]

October 24th, Morning

[blackestomen]

[Zeal was not in the habit of lingering very long on this floor. It was merely a way upwards to more worthwhile places, after having a meal. And the viewing stations were to be avoided. Staring through one had never ceased to be uncomfortable to the point of inducing a mild headache. Her footsteps were quick as she came off the steps from below and started for the steps from above...

Wait. Was that Sephiroth?

Frowning, she diverted her course, came up alongside him... and waited a few moments, gauging his mood and expression.]

That's not how I would care to spend a morning....

[neverbeamemory]

[Quite the contrary, Sephiroth usually takes something akin to comfort from the viewing stations - he finds it very important for re-centering himself, making sure he never loses touch with himself and that crucial connection he had with his World that justifies him.

Though this morning, he looks almost restless knelt there peering into the screen as if not even really seeing it. He's certainly not focusing the way that he usually does, he's too busy arguing with the voice in his head.

He's certainly not ready for anyone to come alongside him with a comment. Though Zeal's words do seem to enable him to blink away something of an unfocused daze. Sephiroth's anger flares though, his first reaction to turn and demand what business it was of hers. He physically swallows that back though, before turning his head a little towards her. Then finally registering who it was that had approached him.]

...because it reminds you of that which you have lost?

Dorm 3-02

[chevalier_mal_fet]

[Sephiroth seems-- a bit off today, by Lancelot's mark. Having just awoken from his compulsory Sleep, he notes Sephiroth's demeanor-- the slightly preoccupied air, the determined set of the man's mouth. Sephiroth does not present a picture of controlled ease, as is more usual with the Man.

He rises slowly, rearranging himself on the edge of his bed. He regards Sephiroth evenly through the long, dark fall of his hair.]

I have not known you to work so here before-- would you not rather write at a Library Desk, then?

[neverbeamemory]

[Sephiroth only glances up at Lancelot for a moment before pausing in the scratching of a pen on paper. Keeping his gaze down, for the time being. He doesn't need for Lancelot's words to be adding to his paranoia.]

I would, usually. [He does spend several hours at a time in the research library as of late. Quite obsessively searching for answers.]

I'm somewhat prone to distraction away from that which is important, this week though.

Part Two: 26th October Onwards

[neverbeamemory]

[Open Mingle thread, date/location to be in each header]

26th October, about half an hour after Sunset. Dorm 2-16

[neverbeamemory]

[Ganondorf Dragmire

It's been a long time since Sephiroth has felt inclined to call on Ganondorf's Dormitory directly. Every time it has been for important matters, and this might seem somewhat less so; such a stupid game that this is. He takes a breath and buries his pride just that little bit more just before knocking on the door.

He's wasted no time in coming to ask, he really dislikes the way that shadow child behind him is looking up at him expectantly. As such, still-wet silver hair is all twisted together and hangs over a shoulder - Sephiroth only has his grey jogging pants on. Monsters after sunset be damned, he'd deal with that if it came to it; being so under-equipped.

This would drag on for entirely too long if Ganondorf wasn't there-
He hates to the depths of his core having to always rely on the ties to the evil alliance-]

[great_king_of_evil]

[ It didn't take long after Sephiroth knocked for him to hear a reply. It was simple and short, but that was obviously Ganondorf's voice. ]

Come in.

[ If he went in, Sephiroth would be able to see Ganondorf handing over three cinnamon candies to another shadow child. It had obviously been a correct choice, as the shadow grabbed the candies, smiled and then disappeared. The bowl Ganondorf had taken the candies from was probably one of the most filled one in the tower-- There had to be somewhere between 400 and 500 candies in it. As usual, Ganondorf was a step ahead from everyone else when it came to self-preservation and enduring the tower's events with little difficulties.

With the shadow gone, he turned to see who it was that had knocked. Well, he hadn't expected to see Sephiroth and rose an eyebrow. ]

Sephiroth?

28th October, Dorm 3-03.

[neverbeamemory]

[Ocelot could perhaps help with the lacking of chocolate bugs problem. It would certainly stop him having to look very far.

So, shadow child in tow - it's worth a call in before he starts trying other doors and expanding his hunt for others' candy into the lower Dormitory levels.

But -damn- does he hate this having to ask. It was bad enough having to go to Ganondorf two days before. It doesn't sit very well at all considering how he's been made to feel last week while he was being stubborn. He still doesn't know how much of the whisperings and notions he had, about his being-inferior, about his lack of ability were actual real concerns or just Ruana's way of forcing him to collect candy and participate.

They must indeed be all laughing at him for not having the candy available now. He lightly taps a gloved hand on Ocelot's door.]

[notayoungkitten]

[It's a moment before she opens the door, not expecting any visitors tonight besides for the annoying shadow that currently follows her tonight. She looks up at him, her expression the same as always.]

I take it you were asked for something you don't have?

[How humiliating. Hopefully she has what he needs at the very least.]

29th October, Mingle

[neverbeamemory]

[ooc: Next day, after this TRICK]

Between Dorm 03-02 & Gymnasium
[Even moving from his Dormitory, down to the lift on the 1st Dorm floor, then down just the two flights of stairs from 41 to get to the Gymnasium felt as if his limbs literally weighed at least three times what they should. His walking is cumbersome, and it takes great self-control on his part to not allow it to hunch over his walking; to remain with posture upright like it's supposed to be - even if there is most definitely a drop to his shoulders.

And there was that single, crawling bug. He could feel it, creeping around underneath his clothing. The reason he's clad in his looser grey gym kit as it seemed the leather only made it all the more unbearable. But even so, still it itched it's way up his leg inside of the cotton jogging pants, trailed lines across his back. He's already tried to shower the sensation away once today but to no avail.

The warm up jog is entirely too much work, like he's put on several pounds of weight and therefore is much slower and almost lethargic by the time he reaches the end of his usual three laps. Attempting to lift weights afterward is full of almost no end to the frustration.

Once, upon a full extend to a benched shoulder press that bug had ran it's legs somehow right up his spine; Sephiroth flexed responsively and it released his control over the motion like a tight spring. The bar came crashing down. Only just did he manage to roll off of the bench onto the floor to avoid the whole lot coming buckling down across his chest; the speed from his reflexes just not being enough.

He'll just lie there on the floor, face down until his pulse slows again. Then Sephiroth will start to force his over-weighted limbs underneath him to eventually get back to his feet.]

[midgarhorizon]

[Oh hey there Sephiroth. Look who is all up in his Raven gear and ready for a workout session in the Gym? This Turk, buddy.

And he's walking in just as Sephiroth falls to the ground. Yep, that sure is Sephiroth failing hard at the weights.

Walking over to the silver haired warrior, Reno stands just close enough to bend over and look down at Sephiroth, a smirk playing on his face.]

Y'know, that looks real painful...