[Diarmuid is deeply touched that Waver is so willing to bear all of that for him, but at the same time there is part of him that screams it is wrong for him to allow such a thing. Diarmuid is a knight. He should be able to handle all of this himself. He should be able to find a way that doesn't require dishonor just as his brother had said.
So why hasn't he been able to?]
There should be another way. You shouldn't have to do all of that to protect me. I should be able to find that way. It's what I do, isn't it? I'm their light. I find the honorable way in the darkness. That is why...
[His voice trails off when he suddenly realizes just why everyone has been so upset with him about this. Waver had said so much during their anonymous conversation, but it just hadn't sunk in.
It's sinking in now.]
They are just as afraid as I am, aren't they? If even I fall, what chance do they have?
no subject
[Diarmuid is deeply touched that Waver is so willing to bear all of that for him, but at the same time there is part of him that screams it is wrong for him to allow such a thing. Diarmuid is a knight. He should be able to handle all of this himself. He should be able to find a way that doesn't require dishonor just as his brother had said.
So why hasn't he been able to?]
There should be another way. You shouldn't have to do all of that to protect me. I should be able to find that way. It's what I do, isn't it? I'm their light. I find the honorable way in the darkness. That is why...
[His voice trails off when he suddenly realizes just why everyone has been so upset with him about this. Waver had said so much during their anonymous conversation, but it just hadn't sunk in.
It's sinking in now.]
They are just as afraid as I am, aren't they? If even I fall, what chance do they have?