towerofanimus | The pain of homesickness

Entry tags:

The pain of homesickness

Characters: Samwise and you!
Setting: Floor one hundred
Format: Either
Summary: After spending time in his dead world Sam goes to a recreated Shire and is sad
Warnings:

It was no easier this second time. To see everything dead, every animal, every plant. The bodies of his family and those of his friends. It made him feel helpless, he and Frodo had traveled far, fought hard and still it was all for nothing. They had done all they could to defeat Mordor and the world had ended anyways.

When he came back he made his way down the stairs, to floor one hundred. He had been warned about this floor, how it was all fake and the visions were just that. Not true at all. But he had been a long way from home, years and the last three times he had seen his home it had been dead or dying. The first in the mirror and then twice when he had been sent from this place.

He stepped off the staircase and blinked as the illusion sprung up around him. The Shire, his home. His house, and there was Bag End and the Party tree and the Green Dragon.

Seeing it like this, whole and healthy even without people was too much and Sam sank to the floor, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes.

He knew he shouldn't be here crying like this, there was so much to do and he had no idea what sort of monstrosities had happened while he had been away. But for now all he wanted to do was sit here, and remember happier times, even if they were painful.

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Quark wasn't too sure he should bother someone while they were crying. Even though it looked kind of funny, to him. His home world was desolate, littered with garbage, with a dead, dusty red sky and layers of waste. Perhaps that was reason enough to cry, but he had a feeling, being the clever child he was, that Sam was probably crying for an altogether different reason. That and he knew that the floor looked different for everyone.

Maybe what Sam saw was something really worth crying over.

In any case, it felt wrong to leave the tiny man alone. Especially when Quark remembered meeting him before. It's with a respectful sort of hesitation that the boy makes his way over. Asking if he was okay seemed like a silly sort of question, so Quark tried to pose a bit of a different one.

"Um..." He plays awkwardly with the straps of his hat, his eyes on his feet. "Do...do you want some company, Mr. Hobbit? Sorry to bother you, if you don't."

That was what helped make sad feelings go away, right? Having someone to sit with and talk to?

Edited 2013-12-11 22:39 (UTC)

Sam looked up when he realised he was being talked to. He figured he was the only hobbit here, unless some other had come whilst he had been away. He recognised the boy, the hobbit sized human and tried to force a smile.

"I wouldn't mind company at all." He wiped his face, crying was one thing but he didn't want to do so in front of a child. "Master Quark was it not?"

"Yeah, that's me."

Quark sits down next to Sam and curls his knees up underneath his chin. He looks at the man with concern, though he also tries to give him the privacy and respect he deserves to shed his tears.

"Are you sad because of what you see?"

Sam nodded, "And because of what I saw." He wiped his eyes, "But I'm alright, don't you go worrying." He looked over at the boy. "Are you alright?"

"What did you see?" Quark frowned sadly, not completely sure of what to say but still wanting to be supportive and helpful. Even as he asked, he sort of figured it out. 'Cause on those viewfinders on the fifth floor all of their planets were destroyed, right? All dead and empty? With that in mind it made a bit more sense why it would be so sad to see your home looking pretty. It felt kind of wrong to go on about himself when Sam was the one who was in a bad mood, but it also felt just as wrong not to answer the question. So the boy shrugs. "I'm okay."

He didn't want to say he was any better than the truth. This was the Tower, after all, and he was still a bit shaken from his death on the night before Halloween.

Quark lets one of his hands run across the floor. "It won't stay like that forever. Everyone's trying to fix things, right? So...if we all work hard enough again everything will go back to how it's supposed to be."

It wasn't a very good attempt at being motivational, but at least it was an attempt.

"I went there." He looked sadly at the boy, "It weren't a pretty sight."

He nodded at the attempt of being motivational though, he wasn't one to be down for a long time. "It will, I'm sure of it. I can see it here, how it ought to be. It will be like that again one day."

It wasn't quite enough to stop the tears, but it helped.

Quark returns the sad expression that Sam fixes him with, but he takes a long minute before he can think of anything that he wants to see. But he wonders what Sam's world looks like when it looks the way it ought to. He wonders, quite often, how beautiful peoples' worlds were when they were thriving and happy and full of life. He'd seen pictures of his own, but nothing could beat the real thing.

At least, that's what Quark had thought when he had first found the meadow floor. He never imagined to see green grass and a blue sky with his own two eyes. If only his Grandpa were there to enjoy it with him.

Finally, he gets the courage to ask. "Would you tell me what it looks like?"

Sam blinked sadly at him and nodded, "It's all green, and there's a river running through it, just there." He pointed at the place in the floor that he could see the river. "All the hills are hobbit holes, little doors and windows, there's a few houses along the bank of the river, a small bridge. Lots of trees. There's a mill as well, just a small one, near the bridge."

His smile was sad but his voice sounded happy as he recounted what his home looked like when it was alive and well.

"There's always hobbits out and about, little ones playing and bothering the adults at work. You'd be like a giant Quark."

...S-Sam?

[He doesn't see the Shire, but the image of the park from his home is enough to make him understand why floor 100 can make people break down like this. It's why he attempts to avoid this place as much as possible, save when he looks in from the stairs and sees a familiar face crumpled on the floor. Definitely can make exceptions for that.]

A-Are...are y-you o-o-okay? W-What's w-w-wrong?

[Sam looked up at his name and blinked when he saw Rick, smiling weakly.] Don't mind me, I'm fine. [He wiped his eyes wishing the tears would stop pricking at his eyes and showing him to be a liar.]

[Rick can see through that pretty clearly. He wastes no time in hurrying further in, crouching at Sam's side and offering a comforting hand on his shoulder.]

...H-Hey...i-it's a-a-alright. [Stammering though he is, the blonde man's voice is soft, soothing and pleasant.] I-Is it...the r-room? H-Home?

[He blinked tearfully at him and nodded] I went back again... it don't become any easier seeing it all dead like that. [But seeing it like this illusion, alive and well was just as painful he had found]

[So he went back to his world...yes, this place must not be helping. Rick nods back, frowning deeply.]

H-Home...B-B-Bag End, r-right? [A beat.] ...W-What's it l-like? I-I-I m-mean--w-what do you s-s-see, h-here?

[He wiped his eyes] Bag End were mister Frodo's home, but Hobbiton...

[How to describe the Shire... even with it all around him in perfect illusion] It's so green, rolling hills full of hobbit holes. Small doors set into the hillside. There's so many trees, it's very peaceful. There's a river runs through it, and a small mill, nothing fancy like in other places I saw. Just enough for the folks that live there.

[He pointed] There's an inn as well, best ale in the Shire, I tell you, best in the world I would say...

[Rick patiently listens, making himself comfortable as Sam goes into detail. His expression is set in a perpetual soft smile laced with concern and understanding. This is important to him, after all.]

...I-I'm s-sure it is. [The blonde man chuckles gently, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees a stare at the much different landscape in front of him.] ...Y-You'll s-s-see it a-again, S-Sam. N-Not like you d-did, but...l-like this. I p-promise.

You think? [Sam blinked sadly through his tears] It's hard seeing it all dead, and knowing what happened, to try and imagine it being whole and well again.

W-Well...w-we h-h-have to f-f-fix it, r-right? [He tries for a smile--perhaps a hug, if Sam will let him. He looks like he needs a hug.] There's s-s-so m-many s-strange things, h-here...I'm s-sure we c-can f-f-find a w-way.

[Oh a hug, that is nice, Sam hasn't had a hug in a long while. He clings a little bit and wipes his eyes again] I 'ope so. There's lots of smart people, from plenty of worlds, we're bound to come up with something.

...W-We will. [Rick gives him a small, reassuring squeeze.] I p-p-promise.

Thanks. [Wiping his eyes] I sure feel silly... getting upset like that.

[He responds as quickly as his compulsive stammer will allow.]

--I-It's n-not silly! We--w-w-we a-all miss h-home. I m-mean...I-I know I do.

[He looks sadly at him] What's your home like?

[Rick takes a deep breath and glances at the display surrounding him. It is as it was the first time he came onto this floor: a large park square in autumn, central burbling fountain surrounded by countless red-leaved trees and spindly spruces swaying in brisk gusts of wind. It's not all of his home, but it's the part Rick remembers most fondly--a place he missed even before being brought to the Tower.]

[There are many ways he can think to describe it. Choosing one proves difficult, and making it live up to the emotions he has attached to those memories is impossible. He lets out that breath as a sigh, disappointed at his inability to express, and settles on merely: ]

...P-Pleasant. [Cue a thousand-mile stare.] M-My f-f-family...my w-wife...they're th--there, and...that's a-a-all that m-matters.

Aye [He nodded sadly] You'll see them again though.

Lelouch had been reading a book he had gotten from someone and heard the door open. it was late and he blinked, looking up to see Sam entering, "Hello, Sam."

He gave a small smile, though there was obviously something wrong with the other. Would he even want to tell him? He at least had to ask, "Is...something the matter?"

Sam blinked at his roommate and tried to smile, "It's alright mister, you don't have to worry about me. I'm just getting used to being back." He scrubbed at his eyes, he should go and wash his face, to hide the evidence of tears.

"Being back?" He paused for a moment since he had noticed that the other had been gone for some time, "Where did you go?"

"Back to my world." He blinked tearfully at him, "But it's all destroyed."

Edited 2013-12-29 16:16 (UTC)

"Ah," Lelouch began, he frowned lightly but then gave the other a smile as he tried to look at least a little cheerful. Someone had to try to, "I know. I'm sure my world is the same. But the best thing that I can hope for them all is that they're in a better place than we are; your friends, your family, everyone."

Sam stifled a sob and nodded, though knowing they were dead was still hard, even if it meant they were not here. "Someone said that those that disappeared from here go to their dead worlds... just them all alone, plenty of my friends were here once." He didn't want to think about them being all alone, for so long.

Lelouch got up from where he was sitting, making his way over to the other. He reached a hand out gently to place it on his shoulder, smiling lightly. He felt bad for the other...and his time would probably come when he would head back to see his own world. What it had become. He didn't want to think about that...

"Even if they're all gone, you'll still be able to see them again. Maybe not in this life, but you can't lose hope in this place. Trust me. I've...seen what it does to others, though I've only been here for a very short amount of time..."

Sam nodded, wiping his eyes again. "I know, but it's hard sometimes." To fight one evil just to be thrown into a place worse than anything Mordor could dream up.

"You really think we'll see them again?"

Lelouch smiled a bit more, "Of course. There's always hope."

"Aye, there's always hope." He smiled again, "I'm sorry, I don't know why it came over me so sudden, I don't usually give in to despair like this."

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The pain of homesickness

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back at the room? y/n?

yes!

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