towerofanimus | (no subject)

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Characters: Reno, and you
Setting: See prompts!
Format: Either/or
Summary: Going hunting, going tanning, infirmary hopping, letter writin', memory viewing
Warnings: Talk about tanning animal hides, sort of gross and if you're squeamish probably should skip the tanning prompt.

Early December, any day in the late afternoon, Tanning Leather, Workshop

Hunting was a laborious process even in the Tower, especially considering what was being hunted. Reno had a short list of the kind of monsters that were easily killed and harmless for tanning purposes. Most of the time, he's on Floor 32 however, being easier to hunt in with the cover it provided, and if he managed to run across an animal, that was just extra food for the family.

The chill was sharp now, every day he went out he was thankful for the leather cloak Xion had made as a prototype. He didn't have a thermometer or anything to measure the temperature except experience, but he could tell each day got a little colder, and if this was how things were going to keep going, they would see bad weather pretty shortly. That's just how Decembers went.

Still, the cold was enough to have him bringing someone along on these hunting trips now, for the extra help he needed getting the tanning afterward done or the bagged meat to the industrial kitchen. And he was enjoying the company after so many weeks of doing missions alone.

Early December, any day in the late afternoon, Tanning Leather, Industrial Kitchen

Tanning leather was gross. Really gross. Despite talking with Xion about it before, he decided to do it himself before handing the leather over to her because he found the quicker the hides got processed, the better they turned out. That meant hours instead of days, but at least the process wasn't as hard as he thought it'd be. A book on the subject taken from the library had taught him animals could be used to tan their own hides... if you didn't mind using the brains. The problem was instead of being able to use the Workshop, the industrial kitchen was way better suited to store the parts and other things necessary for the process. The brains had to be stored until he cooked them down to a soup for rubbing into the hide, and then the hide itself had to be stored for a few days, then smoked.

Hauling brains and hides around the Tower wasn't easy when you were trying to keep the gross off of your clothes, though.

Still, Reno was used to gore and even had a system to tan the damn things even after a really successful hunting trip that netted him three or four at a time. Making tanning racks hadn't been all that hard, and a flat bladed knife made a passable scraper. He had a section in the refrigerator set aside for the materials and even used the kitchen's smoker to full advantage. Any meat he managed to get went right into the Turk's stores in the freezer.

December 6th, Late Afternoon, 1-04, Roommate/Vistor Shenans?

Today, he really just needed a break. A rest from all the hunting and tanning and everything else. He'd never liked the cold. It seemed to sap his energy and drive from him, even way back when things had been normal and Midgar still existed and the Turks were in the good graces of Shinra. His bed had entirely new sheets and blankets on it, a welcome change to the bloody ones Gilles had created with his bullfairy surprise recipe. It was nice just laying in bed, thinking for once.

Vacations were rare and hard to come by, and it was sort of odd but he found himself wanting more to just sit and sleep than do something fun like go to the sauna or to the media room. Maybe it was just a reflection of getting older. He sure as hell wasn't twenty-three anymore, but being in your prime didn't mean recovering wasn't getting harder. Still, time was precious before the big End, and Reno used it to pen a couple of letters to his family on a piece of board sitting on his lap.

December 8th, Morning, Floor 100

On his way down to the kitchen for breakfast, Reno paused on this floor. He wasn't sure why, and even less sure why he stepped out on to this floor completely. The last time he had been here, it had shown him a world he didn't really want to see anymore. Something to taunt and mock him.

This time, it was different. The holograms had changed from Midgar to another city, one just as familiar, but held a note of nostalgia inside the walls and golden gleam. Junon stood proudly facing the ocean, taunting those who would try to destroy her with the immense cannon jutting out from her center. It wasn't the Junon of modern day, where the cannon had been removed and set up in Midgar, or even the Junon of recent day, when it had been complete.

Junon, as Reno remembered her when he lived there so long ago, the walls still incomplete and the cannon still only a shell of a dream. The red streamers hanging from every building bore the name of the company, a salute to Rufus's father. The ocean glittered with the sun overhead, and the breeze made the streamers flap and shimmer.

Awkward, Reno stood in the middle of the street, one hand on his hip and the other tugging at his mouth, wanting to leave, yet strangely compelled to stay. Was this... that day?

December 9th, Morning, Upper Levels, Mapping

The winter season meant there was less time for normal missions, but this was an important thing and Reno wasn't happy to find he actually had to go out of his way to find a day to go map the upper levels. This time, he wasn't alone, which he was just as glad for, because these floors he wasn't quite as familiar with, and if anything, the fox tales that still waved behind him reminded just how unfamiliar he was...

Standing on the staircase, Reno looked over some of the maps he had done already, trying to decide which one to do next. "So, whatcha think? Got any ideas what floor we should try next?"

December 10th, Early morning, Infirmary

It was his own damn fault he hadn't looked where he stepped, and he was pretty lucky it was just a flesh wound, but it was still enough to get him to hobble to the infirmary for a dressing. The little shadow blob seemed to laugh in his attempts to remove the blasted thing from the living, if it even was living, which made him more annoyed than anything. His foot was going to be sore for a few days.

That didn't really explain why he was covered in blood head to toe, however. The stains were going to be a pain in the ass to get out of his clothes...

Grumping to himself, he marched around the infirmary, ignoring whatever worker units that were there, grabbing up some supplies. Anti-biotics, bandages, and some tape. Plopping down in a chair, he examined the damage and made a face when he realized it wasn't so much his foot as it was his ankle. His shoe suffered some damage but nothing that couldn't be fixed or glued together. Annoying, definitely, and something of a setback while he waited for it to heal...

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"It's ironic, you know," Reno started, "you never did get the background about him from me." His thumbs hooked into his pockets, trying to appear relaxed and sure of himself when he felt anything but. Diarmuid had pressed and poked into his affairs until Reno almost snapped. Had snapped, later on when he faced Elena. It goes to show how willing he was to repay the man in kind, facing down someone he knew for a fact was stronger. "Sephiroth was supposed to be the perfect SOLDIER. He was raised and groomed for superiority in battle, tactics, strategy. He served a lord, too, I guess you could say. Smart, strong, everything you could want in a guy. He and his friends had Honor and Ideals, even made up some sort of code and all of that. The pressure to be a perfect something."

Letting out a frustrated hiss through his teeth, Reno's eyes narrowed and he shook his head. What kind of hell does a man make for himself? It is far worse than the one they lived in. Even he knew that and he kept sending himself into one whenever his family wasn't looking. "You and the others are putting way too damned pressure on you to be something. You need to take a long step back and ask yourself if that's what ya want anymore." This was risky, and he took a step forward, trying to look Diarmuid in the eye again. "I found out when you're this fucking torn up inside, it's because you're fighting yourself over something. Ask what you want, not what other people expect out of you. Because the way you're going, you will be going down that dark path if you don't find your balance on the fence." Sighing, he moved forward another step. "The only thing you need to worry about is loyalty. Not 'I got to listen to everything they say' loyalty but 'What the hell is my heart trying to tell me' loyalty.'"

"I know walls when I see them," he continued, wondering if Diarmuid would hear his own words being thrown back at him. "Emotions only make us weaker when we're hiding from them, and you're hiding something from yourself."

"Me, having trouble finding balance. Who would have guessed?" Diarmuid laughs, the sound very, very hollow. It's all he can say at the moment because his mind is too busy turning over what Reno has told him about Sephiroth in a panicked frenzy. It's pulling it apart, piece by piece and then shoving it back together. He wants to call Reno a liar, but he knows better. There is no reason for Reno to lie and more so the man he has come to know would not do such a thing.

Besides, all Diarmuid has to do is think of his talks with the younger version of Sephiroth to know it is true because that...is just how the boy is.

"How did he go so wrong?" The words are barely a whisper and his next ones are even softer, "Will I end up like that?"

"No!" The word is growled as Diarmuid turns away from Reno again, seeming to curl in on himself somewhat. His fists clench harder. The muscles in his arms and back as tense as they can be without snapping. In an effort to try and calm himself--to back himself away from that overwhelming fear--Diarmuid forces himself to listen as Reno keeps speaking, but the words bounce into his head and then right back out. There is part of him that remembers what is being said, but he can't make himself process it at the moment. It's not until his hears those familiar words that he once told Reno that he finally is able start processing.

Diarmuid winces, head jerking as if he has been slapped. He knows that he has an issue with not taking his own advice, but what most people don't know is that when he hears his own advice in the words of another he finds it almost impossible to ignore. The problem here is, try as he might, Diarmuid isn't sure just how to follow this bit of advice. It is obvious his emotions are starting to make him weaker--the way things had gone with Sephiroth is clear proof of that--but what is it he is hiding? What is it he doesn't want to admit to?

"I don't know. If I knew... If I knew..."

This was sort of pathetic. Seeing Diarmuid descend into what could be quite closely considered madness, Reno sighed. Reaching out to touch the man's shoulder, he tried to draw his attention.

"C'mon, Dee. I want to show ya something."

He started walking without looking back, hoping that if he expected Diarmuid to follow, he would. There was something specific he had in mind, but they'd have to travel a few floors to get there. "Think 'bout it, we're gonna have a few minutes here."

Madness? No, Diarmuid has touched madness a few times since coming to the Tower, and he isn't anywhere near that at the moment. He's not ranting and raving. Instead, he is pulling in on himself, repressing emotion as hard as he can to prevent slipping into that madness again.

That...really is no more healthy than the madness, though, so perhaps it doesn't matter in the end.

For several moments, it seems as if Diarmuid won't follow Reno. His eyes track after the red-head, but he doesn't move in any other way. However, as Reno reaches the exit to the floor, Diarmuid suddenly appears at his side. He says nothing and his movement is so silent it's moire like a ghost is walking with Reno than a person.

But, at least he is there.

The sudden change shocks Reno enough that it makes him freeze for a split second, eyes wide. Being on a hair trigger from random monster encounters made his heart freeze, so it took a second for the stupid thing to start pumping again.

When he moved again, Reno started up the stairs, reaching the next floor and heading to the elevator.

The place he was taking him to was Floor Forty-Two, over halfway down the Tower, so they had some time to kill before then. Folding his arms, Reno leveled a glare at him. "You said it's what you wanted to be. Y'know, I don't look like much, but I do got a brain on me. I can tell when someone's hiding something and I'm trained by the best on my planet how to read people. You want to be something else, don't ya? That's what you're hiding. Only, ya don't know how to be something else, and that's what's got ya so up in arms. You're listenin' to too many people tell ya how you should be, how ya need to be, and unless I'm off my game right now and misjudging you really badly, it's in direct conflict with somethin' inside, maybe even unrealized. How the hell do ya expect to help Shion if you're just as lost as he is?"

Reno wasn't going to cut corners, and threw all tact out the window. Not that he was really good at it in the best of times. Diarmuid needed a friend, and even if Reno lost him as one, that's exactly what he was going to get. Reaching into a pocket, the Turk pulled out something that he always kept on his person, hidden or not.

It was a scuffed, worn, and tarnished pin in the shape of a triangle. At one point it had been painted, but most of the coloring had worn away or chipped. The metal work on it was also faded, worn down to being only barely perceptible. It didn't completely resemble the ones Xion and Shion had, but it resembled them enough.

Grabbing Diarmuid's hand, he pressed it into the man's palm. "You know what I'm offering here? It isn't something I do just for the hell of it. We're not knights, and sure as hell don't expect to be perfect, but we're dedicated."

For a very long time, Diarmuid just blinks down at the pin Reno has pressed into his hand caught between wonder and shock. Could Reno be right about the source of his conflict? Way back after he first arrived, he had been forced to admit to Catarina that he didn't know what he wanted or who he was beyond being a knight. It had always been so much a part of him that he considered it to be him and yet, after what had happened with Kayneth, he hadn't thought he could be that anymore no matter how much he had wanted to be. As time had passed, and especially after Waver had arrived, he thought he had settled on what he was when he found his new goal...

...but he hadn't, had he? He had just allowed the occurrences in the Tower and his new goal to distract him from finding out what he was scared to find out.

"Are...you sure you want to make this offer knowing I don't know what is causing this conflict in me? Knowing that I don't know exactly what I want to be?" He runs his finger lightly over the much abused pin. It's obvious it means a lot to Reno, beyond even the more literal offer to join his group that it represents. Diarmuid doesn't want to risk insulting Reno by returning it, but he must make sure Reno means it.

Even though, he knows Reno would not have offered without meaning it.

"When I give my loyalty, I give it for always," Diarmuid finally looks up from the pin to meet Reno's eyes. "Even if I don't know what exactly I am right now, I know that won't change. However, I am a Servant who has a Master in this place. More than that, my Master is my Partner and means everything to me. I will fight at your side and I will do everything to support you and all of them that I can--I will give my life if it comes to that--but there may be times when I must chose him first. It was he who I first gave my loyalty to, and I will never take it back from him. You understand that, right? You would do the same for Elena or Shion or Xion."

Of course, perhaps it is a little easier for Reno to say yes to that than for Diarmuid. All of Reno's family are Turks, and so their loyalties will not be split. But while he doesn't see any reason why Reno and Waver's ideals will clash, Diarmuid cannot overlook the possibility it might happen. Not when it is his honor and his loyalty that will be on the line. He might not know a lot about himself at the moment, but Diarmuid does know that he doesn't want to sacrifice his honor or his loyalty any more than he already has.

"Diarmuid, it's not somethin' we really looked to as a recruiting principle, but it's been said that Turks are broken people that've just pieced themselves back together." His face settled into a neutral expression, neither approving or condemning the man's words.

When he spoke of loyalty, Reno knew he was making the right choice. If Diarmuid had been so quick to disavow Waver, he would have taken the pin back, but he also knew Diarmuid wasn't the type of man to do that. He had been broken and betrayed as much as any Turk had been.

"I'm not asking you to break anything off with Waver, I'm actually sorta relieved to hear you say that. Just makes me think I chose the right man for the job. The thing about us, the good thing, is loyalty. If you think we've never had ours shaken, though, I guess I never told ya about... about the time we defected. Veld meant a lot more to us than Shinra did, because he's the one that kept us together and gave us a family. That man was my father. Not my blood, but my father anyway, and I'd have followed him to the ends of the planet if he'd let me. You can understand that, I think..."

Holding out his hand, he waited for Diarmuid to decide; to seal the deal or to reject it. "A Turk is someone that finds himself a new family."

Diarmuid smiles sadly, finger rubbing over the worn surface of the pin in his hand, "A broken person trying to piece myself back together. That...really is me, isn't it? I wasn't even trying to fix myself that hard until Waver arrived and gave me hope again. My brother tried, but only Waver made it stick. That is why I won't ever leave him, and that is why I was so reluctant to join any group before now. I figured they would make me choose. That I could only be loyal to one..."

A grateful look fills his eyes, "Thank you for not making me choose. You are right. I do understand. Sometimes, the closet family you will ever have share not one drop of blood with you. Father is a title earned, not given."

He falls silent then, gaze dropping back to the pin which he turns over in his hand for a moment, before fastening it to the high collar of his uniform. When Diarmuid finally takes Reno's hand, the grip is strong and sure, "We will do our best to pick up all the pieces together and support each other while the healing happens. It is what family does."

The whole reason why they were moving in the first place, Reno grasped his hand firmly and nodded. "Stick by, Dee. Some things are multiversal, y'know?"

Diarmuid smiles and then laughs softly, "I suspect I better or else you're going to box my ears in, aren't you?" He then nods toward the elevator, "You going to tell me where we are going or do I just have to wait and be surprised?"

"Yeah. Those puppy ears of yours make pretty good targets." Glancing at the elevator, he shrugged, however. "I was goin' to show you something, but I don't think you need it anymore. Sometimes havin' something to focus on helps, and seems to me ya just got one."

"Those bright red ears on your head make an even better one," the motion is quick. Diarmuid reaches out for one of those ears to tweak it, though he doesn't use full speed. It doesn't seem fair not to give Reno a little chance to dodge.

"Focus...focus is important," Diarmuid grows more serious after that, letting his hand drop back to his side. "Having Waver helps, but at the same time I worry I focus on him too much, that I burden him too much. This...this will help me spread my focus again."

"Just don't spread it too thin. But y'know you can come talk to me 'bout anything." Reno made a face when Diarmuid grabbed his ear, trying to flick it out of the grip. "Waver's a lucky guy, but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't give ya one for him to." Rummaging around in his pockets, he looked for something, checking each pocket in turn and scowling the further he had to go. Finally, he pulled something out. It's another pin, but the kind he gave Shion and Xion. "Here. If ya want to give him one. That way you won't have to worry 'bout loyalty."

"I will do my best. I have spread myself too thin in the past and it has helped no one. I would rather not do that again," Especially since it had ended up hurting the very people he wanted to protect.

Diarmuid takes the pin, giving it a look over--noticing the differences--before placing it safely into a pocket, "I will ask him. I think he would like to have a group backing him--backing us. However, I cannot guarantee he will accept. Not because of you or anything the Turks stand for, but because he has spent the last 10 years on his own. That is a lot of years of habit to break. He still has troubles opening up to me sometimes, even though he trusts me completely." Diarmuid's voice suddenly gets softer, almost as if he doesn't actually intend to say this part out loud, but does so anyway, "A group would take some of the pressure off him. He wouldn't have to feel so much like he has to do it all himself..."

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